All's Well That Ends Well

by Roseanne Dowell

  Of course she didn’t.

  “Sorry, no room in the trunk,” she said.

  “Never mind, I’ll manage.” Sure hoped to hell she didn’t think I was going to help her haul that stuff into the house. Let Lottie do it. It was for her grandkids. I couldn’t imagine what Ethel was giving her. Ethel’s grandkids didn’t take real good care of their stuff. Most of it got broken. I’m pretty sure Lottie didn’t want a bunch of broken toys.

  I made myself as comfortable as possible, which wasn’t very easy with that damn big boot. I might have been okay if it wasn’t for that. For two cents, I’d take it off. But it was so difficult to put on again. I shifted in my seat, buckled my seat belt and prepared for a very uncomfortable ride home. If only I could doze off.

  “So, what was all that nonsense with Matilda?” Ethel put the key in the ignition and looked at me.

  I should have known she wouldn’t forget. “You have to promise not to tell a soul.”

  Ethel laughed. “You know me better than that. I don’t gossip.”

  “I mean it, Ethel, you can’t even tell Greg. If Ed finds out I told anyone, he’ll kill me.”

  “There you go again, with Ed killing you. It’s beginning to become a habit.” Ethel turned the key and started the car. “So, are you going to tell me or not?”

  I explained the whole thing to her against my better judgment. Ethel was bound to tell someone. Not on purpose, she wasn’t that kind of gossip. Things just slipped out.

  “Oh my, missing money. You don’t really think someone embezzled it, do you?

  “I don’t know what to think, but that’s a lot of money. Ed’s beside himself with worry.” I shifted in my seat, trying to get comfortable and reclined the seat. Since I couldn’t push the seat back, maybe that would help. I closed my eyes.

  Next thing I knew we were pulling into Lottie’s driveway. The little snooze refreshed me and while my hip and leg hurt, at least I wasn’t exhausted. I unsnapped my seatbelt and threw open the door, but couldn’t sit up. I reached for the lever to raise the seat, but it didn’t move. What the heck, I was stuck. “Ethel, help me with this damn thing, will you?”

  “Oh dear, I forgot to tell you that seat is broke. Once you recline it, you can’t bring it back up until you’re out of it.”

  “Then get over here and help me out, for god sakes.” Pain sliced across my hips, down my leg right to my toes. I’d never had sciatica this badly before. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get out of this damn seat even with help. Not to mention that damn boot weighed a ton. Lord, I wish I’d brought some pain pills with me.

  By time Ethel got around to my side of the car, my hip felt like someone was stabbing it with a hot knife. I swear if that woman moved any slower, she’d be dead. “Good grief, lady, will you get a move on.”

  Ethel reached for my hand to pull me up. The pain was so bad, I couldn’t sit up straight. “Get my feet first and swing them around.” It felt like someone put lead weights on them. I couldn’t move my left leg at all. The pain shot up my thigh, sending excruciating pain into my hip and across my back.

  Ethel grabbed my legs and tried to move them toward the door. They wouldn’t budge and waves of unendurable pain blasted through me. “Stop!”

  “Let me get Lottie, maybe between the two of us.” Before I could answer, Ethel ran to the house, moving quicker than I’d ever seen. If I could just get the damn seat up or at least sit forward. I maneuvered my elbows against the back of the seat and pushed forward. If there was just something to grab on to. I fell back. Only thing to do was wait for my sisters. At least I had an idea that might work.

  Ethel came back out of breath and leaned against the car. I hoped she didn’t have a heart attack or something. I’d never seen her so breathless.

  “Lottie will be here in a minute,” she finally managed to say.

  No sooner were the words were out of her mouth and Lottie appeared. “Beatrice Lulu, are you all right? Ethel said you’re stuck. What happened?”

  “What the hell do you think happened? The seat’s broken and I can’t pull myself forward. My damn sciatica is acting up again. I feel like I’m being sliced in half.”

  “Oh dear.” Lottie bent down and looked at me. “Do you think if Ethel gets in the back seat and I pull you from the front, we can raise the seat?”

  “That’d be great if you could get in the back seat, but there’s a toolbox back there. Here’s my plan. You go around the driver’s side, Ethel, you stay here. I’m going to push my elbows against the seat. Lottie, you hold onto me, and Ethel, you swing my legs around.”

  Lottie ran around to the driver side. If this didn’t work I wasn’t sure what we’d do. Lottie got in the seat next to me, positioned herself so she could grab my arms. Ethel bent down and grabbed my legs.

  “Not yet, for heaven sake, Ethel, we have to do this together. On three, okay?”

  I counted off the numbers, put my elbows against the seat, pushed, and grabbed onto Lottie’s arms. Ethel pulled my legs. I fell back, Lottie fell on top of me, and Ethel fell inside the car onto my legs.

  Pain exploded all the way to my head as my sisters lay on top of me. Obviously, this wasn’t going to work. “Get off! Get off!”

  Ethel pulled herself into an upright position and stood. “Any other ideas?”

  Lottie straightened and hit the steering wheel with her back. “Let’s try mine. Can we move the toolbox?”

  Ethel opened the back door, grabbed the toolbox, set it on the ground, and clapped her hands together, brushing away the dirt. Lottie hurried around to that side of the car, got in and moved enough to allow Ethel in with her.

  “Okay, on the count of three,” Lottie said, “you move the lever and Ethel and I will push the seat up. Ready?”

  I nodded. If this didn’t work I was in big trouble. Only thing left to do would be call Ed and I sure hated to do that. I grabbed the lever, Lottie counted, I pulled, they pushed, and next thing I knew the seat clicked into place. Praise the Lord, it worked. I swung my legs around and got out of the car.

  “I swear,” Lottie said, “you get yourself into the craziest predicaments.”

  “Excuse me? I didn’t break the damn seat and Ethel didn’t tell me it was broken.” The very nerve, insinuating I caused the problem.

  “I didn’t tell you because I never expected you to recline. You never did before.” Ethel pushed her shoulders back indignantly.

  “All right, you two. I don’t have time to stand out here listening to you squabble. The kids are in the house alone.” Lottie hurried up the walk and ran into the house.

  Ethel and I shrugged and followed.

  “By the way,” Ethel said, “Delores called last night. You were right about the woman stealing their things. They caught her red-handed. Delores said the poor thing was a kleptomaniac and in the beginning stages of Alzheimer. They moved her into the locked area.

  “Melissa, where’s your brother?” Lottie looked around the small living room.

  Wall to wall toys littered the living room and I tread carefully to avoid stepping on them. Why Lottie didn’t make the kids pick things up when they were done playing was beyond me. I cringed at the idea of bringing more stuff in. I had no idea what Ethel brought, but if there wasn’t room in the trunk, I couldn’t imagine there being room in here.

  “Melissa, I asked where Tommy is,” Lottie repeated.

  Melissa looked up and shrugged. “I don’t know. The bathroom, I guess.”

  “Tommy,” Lottie called.

  No answer. Lottie hurried upstairs. I leaned against the table, stretched out my leg and leaned forward. If only I could get this kink out of my back and hip. “Lottie do you have any aspirin or pain medication?”

  No answer.

  “What the heck’s that racket?” Pounding, rattling and crying came from upstairs. Ethel and I hurried to see what the commotion was.

  Lottie pounded on the door, sobbing. “Tommy, open the door.”

  “What’s going o
n?” I grabbed Lottie and tried to calm her down.

  “Tommy’s locked in the bathroom.” Lottie blubbered so badly I could hardly make out the words.

  “Okay, calm down. Panicking isn’t going to help. Tommy’s five years old. I’m sure he can figure out how to unlock the door. Don’t you have the key?”

  “It’s not the normal kind of lock on the doorknob,” Lottie said through tears. “It’s on the door, kind of like a deadbolt. There’s no key from the outside.” She pushed me aside. “Tommy, please open the door.”

  Sobbing came from inside the bathroom. “I can’t.” He rattled the knob and kicked the door.

  Lottie sobbed louder. Not what Tommy needed. “Ethel, take Lottie to the kitchen and get her a cup of coffee.”

  “Come on, Lottie.” Ethel put her arm around Lottie and led her away.

  “Tommy, can you hear me?”

  “Y…yes.”

  “Okay, Tommy, stop crying okay? I’m going to help you get out of there. Have you ever locked the door before?

  “N…no.”

  Looked like I had my work cut out for me. “Okay, listen. Do you see the funny shaped knob above the door knob?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can you turn it?”

  Clicking noises came from inside the bathroom. “Tommy.”

  “What?”

  “Can you turn that knob?”

  “No.”

  I blew the hair out of my eyes. This wasn’t going to be as easy as it sounded. “Tommy, try to turn the knob the other way.”

  The doorknob turned.

  “Not the doorknob, the other knob above it.”

  Clicking noises. Lord, I hoped the knob wasn’t broken. Lottie came back. “Any luck?”

  “No, not yet.”

  “Tommy, can you hear me?”

  “Grandma, I can’t get out. Help me.” Tommy started crying louder and soon turned into sobs.

  “I’m going to get the ladder and crawl through the window,” Lottie said.

  “Wait. It’s two stories up.”

  “So what?”

  “Just go back to the kitchen. Give me a few more minutes.”

  “I’ll give you a few more minutes, but I’m waiting right here.” Sobs shook Lottie’s shoulders. She sank to the floor.

  Lord, spare me hysterical women. I turned back to the bathroom. “Tommy Benson, you open this door right now.” I was at my wits end.

  The lock clicked, knobbed turned, and out came Tommy. So much for being locked in. I wanted to smack him. Lottie jumped up, picked him up and hugged him. Finally, she set him down and stooped to his eye level. “If you ever do that again, I’m going to paddle you.”

  Wow, that was the first discipline I’d ever seen from my sister toward her grandchildren.

  “I won’t.” Tommy hugged her and grinned a mischievous grin.

  I couldn’t help but chuckle. My sister had her work cut out for her if she continued to babysit.

  “So, what’s this I hear about money missing from the senior’s group?”

  A quick glance at Ethel’s red face told me all I needed to know. Sure didn’t take long.

  “Oh dear. I’m sorry. It just slipped out. I was trying to take Lottie’s mind off Tommy and that’s the first thing that came to mind.”

  Now I was in trouble. I loved Lottie dearly, but sister or not, she had the biggest mouth in town. If you asked her what time it was, she told you how to build a clock. This was bound to get back to Ed. I glared at her. “I swear to God, Lottie, if I hear word of this from anyone in town, I’ll beat you to a pulp.”

  Lottie’s mouth fell open. “I…I….oh, you’re exasperating.” She turned and ran from the room.

  “Now look what you’ve done.” Ethel started after Lottie.

  “Look what I’ve done! Me! Look what you’ve done. You promised you wouldn’t say anything and the minute you’re alone, you blab. You know how she is.”

  “I didn’t mean to tell her. She was hysterical. I tried calming her down, but nothing worked.” Ethel turned, walked back to me, and put her hands on her hips. “So it slipped out. Excuse me for living. I forgot you’re perfect and never make mistakes.” She ran after Lottie.

  What a mess. Now what was I going to do?

  Chapter Fourteen

  God, I was tired. Tired of this whole big mess. I needed to find out who took that money before Ed found out I told Ethel. First things first, I had to make up with Lottie and Ethel and it wasn’t going to be easy. Lottie was high maintenance and Ethel was just stubborn. I was going to have to eat humble pie and do some begging. I wish I wasn’t so impetuous. One of these days I’d learn to think before I spoke.

  It took almost an hour of cajoling and begging to get Ethel to forgive me. Fortunately Lottie forgave quicker. Once I’d won her over, Ethel was sweet as pie. Lottie, back to her usual bubbly self, served lunch and at least we enjoyed the rest of the afternoon.

  “So how can we help?” Lottie asked while we cleared the table.

  “Help?” For the first time in my life I didn’t need my sister’s help. In fact, I’d do everything to avoid it.

  “Yes, help. With the missing senior money. Surely there’s something we can do.” Lottie set the dishes in the sink.

  I shook my head. “Truthfully, I think I’d better heed Ed’s advice and stay out of it.”

  “What?” My sisters said in unison. “Surely you don’t mean that.”

  “I really do. I think this one’s beyond my realm.” Funny thing, I honestly thought so.

  “Beatrice Lulu, you don’t really mean that,” Ethel said.

  “Not with Ed’s future on the line,” Lottie said. “What’s come over you?”

  I sat down at the table. “I don’t know. I think Ed’s right this time. I think I should stay out of it.” Still something niggled at me. Was I really going to ignore this? It certainly wasn’t like me. Maybe I was just tired. The fact my hip and ankle were killing me didn’t help.

  Lottie and Ethel shook their heads.

  “Besides, what can we do? We can’t ask everyone in the senior group about the money. Ed would kill me for sure. No, I think he’s right. If it’s really missing Horace will find it and they’ll take it to Callie.”

  “I can’t believe I’m hearing this.” Ethel stood. “Are you ready to go? I have to stop at the drug store before I drop you off.”

  I stood. “Well believe it. I’m going to stay out of it. I’m ready.”

  We pulled into the parking lot at Shelby’s Drug store. “You can stay in the car if you want,” Ethel said.

  I opened the door. Like I’d stay in the car. “I’ll go in with you. I need a few things anyway.”

  Veronica Wilson came out of the store just as we walked in. I swore if that woman got any skinnier, she’d blow away.

  “Beatrice Lulu, how are you?” she said.

  “I’m good, and you?”

  “I’m good. I just got back from Florida.”

  “That’s good. How long were you gone?”

  “Two weeks and that was more than enough for me. I told Dave we’re getting too old for that kind of vacation. This might be our last trip.”

  “You must have been fun, a real barrel of joy. Good grief, Veronica, we’re not that old.”

  “Maybe not, but sometimes it feels like it. I have to go, see you later.” Veronica turned to walk away and her pants fell down. “Oops.” She bent down, pulled them up, and went on her way like it never fazed her.

  I looked at Ethel and we burst out laughing. Maybe Veronica was right, she was too old for a vacation. I’d have been mortified if that happened to me.

  No sooner had we got in the store, Eleanor Chapman hurried over to us. “Did you see Veronica?”

  “Yes, we met her coming in, Why?”

  “Margaret told me she has Alzheimer’s. Poor thing.”

  Margaret was one of the biggest gossips in town. She delighted telling about misfortunes. I didn’t understand it, but that was Marg
aret. “Oh no, I’m so sorry to hear that.” That explained why it didn’t bother her when her pants fell down. “Yes, Millie said she’s in the early stages, but Dave told Bill Johnson she was pretty bad. Sometimes she didn’t even know where she was. Said she’s better at home in familiar territory, but was really bad in Florida.”

  “Veronica, you had a fund raiser recently for the seniors, didn’t you?” It suddenly occurred to me if anyone knew anything about missing money, it’d be Veronica.

  “Yes, I did, why?” Veronica stiffened.

  “How much did you take in?”

  “Close to a thousand dollars, why do you ask?”

  I knew better than to tell her. Maybe I’d gone too far even asking. Still I had a niggling feeling something was going on. Something more people knew about than not. How to get around it. “Is something going on that I should know about?”

  If it was possible for someone to crawl inside themselves, that’s exactly what Veronica did. “Whatever do you mean?”

  “Well, Matilda had the same reaction when I asked about her fundraiser. What’s going on, Veronica? Surely you can tell me.”

  Veronica heaved the biggest sigh I’d ever heard. I just stood there, waiting her out. Sooner or later she’d give. Veronica couldn’t keep a secret. “Well?” I tapped my foot and stared at her.

  “I swear, you’re such a busybody.”

  “A busybody?” The nerve of that woman.

  “Just this once do you think you can mind your own business? Leave it alone. Trust me it’s nothing.”

  “Nothing? Seriously, you expect me to believe that?”

  “Fine, but you have to promise not to tell a soul. Especially not Ed.” Veronica crossed her arms and glared at me.

  “Ed? What’s he got to do with it?”

  Veronica laughed. “He has everything to do with it. It’s all about him.”

  I was tired of her beating around the bush. Usually she couldn’t wait to spread gossip. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Well, we’re not supposed to tell you, ’cause everyone’s afraid you’ll blab to Ed and ruin everything.”

  “I’m going to ruin you if you don’t tell me right now.”