All's Well That Ends Well

by Roseanne Dowell

  Of course she chased me, and before I knew it we were engrossed in an out and out water fight. I can’t remember laughing so hard and next thing I knew several other women joined in. Someone kept blowing a whistle, but we ignored it. We were having so much fun swimming and splashing that no one paid any attention to the instructor until she’d gotten out of the water and grabbed a bullhorn.

  “If you ladies are done acting like children, can we get on with class?”

  We looked at each other, cracked up laughing, but like obedient children we swam to our spots in front of her.

  “I’m glad you were having such a good time, but I’d appreciate it if you’d save your nonsense until after class.”

  I lowered my head to hide my grin. I hadn’t meant to disrupt the class, but I didn’t regret it. If nothing else, it eased my tension and self-consciousness. Maybe it helped the other women also.

  The hour flew by and I admit I enjoyed the class. The exercise was exhilarating and being in the water made it so much easier. Of course, I was also exhausted. Swimming did that to me. I couldn’t wait to get home and take a nap. Sleep, to me, is over-rated and a waste of time, but ever since I hit my head it seemed like all I wanted to do was nap. I couldn’t seem to go a whole day without at least one nap. Sometimes two or three.

  I arrived home to an empty house. Ed must have gone to the club. Good, that gave me plenty of time to rinse out my suit and get an hour or two of sleep.

  I woke an hour later to the sound of Ed’s voice. Apparently the phone rang and I hadn’t heard it. I didn’t like sleeping that sound. God bless Ed, he told whoever was on the phone I was napping and would call back later. Even though I was awake I didn’t have my bearings and wouldn’t be able to carry on a decent conversation. More than likely it was Ethel or Lottie. My bet was on Ethel. She often called two or three times a day even after I saw her. She probably wanted to confirm I’d go to the Y again tomorrow. Plenty of time to talk to her later. I got out of bed, hurried to the bathroom, and brushed my teeth.

  Ed sat at the table, a cup of coffee at my place, waiting for me.

  “So, how was swimming?”

  I leaned down, kissed him, and sat next to him. “Actually, it was good.”

  “Did you get a bathing suit?”

  I laughed. He was so obvious. I decided to tease him. “A bathing suit? No, I went in my shorts and top. Why?”

  “Oh, I thought you said Ethel had some suits for you to try on.”

  “She did. The gaudiest things you’d ever seen in your life. Thank goodness I didn’t wear one of them because another woman had on the exact same suit. Ugliest thing you ever saw.”

  Ed squirmed in his chair. Probably sorry he sent Ethel to buy me a suit. The poor guy looked like he wanted to cry. I broke out laughing. “Yes, she bought a couple suits with the money you gave her. And yes, I did wear one of them.”

  “Really? Let me see it.”

  I found the beach bag and pulled out the black suit with the skirt. “I didn’t much care for this one. The other is hanging to dry.”

  “Oh, I thought you’d model it for me.”

  “Are you serious? I look like a walrus.”

  “Oh, don’t be ridiculous. You’re beautiful.”

  “Keep talking like that and I just might model it.” He always made me feel so good.

  “Now Bea, you know you’re the prettiest girl this side of heaven.”

  That did it. I got up, went to the bathroom, and grabbed the suit off the shower rod. It was dry enough to squeeze into. I don’t mind saying I felt a bit shy. I mean Ed’s seen me at my worst, in the shower completely naked, with a towel wrapped around me and in my bra and panties, Why I felt shy I have no idea. It’s not like I’d be scantily clad. Silly, I know, but being the obliging wife, granted not always but most of the time, I changed into my suit, came out, and struck up a sexy pose for Ed. Well, I thought it was sexy. Obviously, so did Ed. He stood and walked toward me, the look of desire in his eye melted me.

  “Turn around, beautiful, let me take you all in.”

  I turned around seductively. Not sure what got into me, I suddenly became playful and teasingly leaned toward Ed. Just as he reached for me, I danced away. I dropped one strap off my shoulder, baring part of my breast and almost exposing my nipple. I danced around him, darn near doing a strip tease act.

  Ed clapped his hands and hummed the tune to the stripper. “Oh yeah, baby, show me more.”

  That’s all it took. I shook my breasts, wiggled my hips, and played the role. Ed circled around me, whistling, clapping, and cheering.

  I caught a movement out of the corner of my eye. Standing at the screen door, hand raised ready to knock, was the new Vicar from our church. I froze, gasped, and recovered enough to pull up my strap, put my hand over my chest, and ran from the room. Talk about wanting the ground to open.

  “Vicar John,” Ed greeted him. How could he be so calm? Granted he wasn’t the one half naked and doing a strip tease, but he sure enjoyed it and egged me on.

  I couldn’t get out of the suit quick enough. Not that it mattered at this point. I wasn’t about to show my face. No way was I going back into that room. Sure the vicar was human, but good grief, he was just a boy, fresh from the seminary, and single. What did he know about married life? Never had I been so humiliated in all my life and I’d been humiliated a time or two. How would I be able face him in church on Sunday? At least I had a couple days to recover before then. Maybe I just wouldn’t go. Although I’d have to face him sometime. I couldn’t miss church for almost a year until he went back to the seminary.

  Sunday rolled around way too quickly. I wasn’t going to church and that’s all there was to it. The thought of seeing Vicar John gave me the willy nillys. What must he think of me? Not that I was doing anything wrong, I am married after all. But still in broad daylight in the middle of the kitchen. What was I thinking?

  Thing was, I wasn’t thinking or I’d never have done it. That’s the effect Ed has on me. Makes me lose all rational thinking. Doing a strip tease. The very idea. Wasn’t much different when Callie stayed with us while she recovered from her attack. Caught me and Ed necking in the dining room. Just thnking about it, I couldn’t help from laughing out loud.

  “What’s so funny?” Ed stood in the doorway.

  “I just remembered how Callie came in on us in the dining room.”

  “That was funny, wasn’t it? What brought that on?”

  I sure as heck wasn’t about to tell him. “I don’t know, it just came to me.”

  “You’re not ready for church.” Ed leaned down and kissed me.

  “I’m not going.”

  “You’re afraid to face the vicar. Aren’t you? That’s what reminded you of Callie.”

  “What must he think of us? Of me?”

  Ed laughed and hugged me. “He thinks what a lucky guy I am and how much in love we are.”

  “I don’t care. I’m not going.”

  “Now, Bea, you’re being silly. You have to face him eventually. Do it now and get it over with. Then you won’t have to worry about it anymore. He’s not going to do or say anything.”

  Ed was right of course, but I didn’t give in right away. Eventually he won me over and off to church I went.

  Thank goodness we were running late and Vicar John was just turning to go inside when we arrived. Unfortunately, he stopped and waited for us.

  “Ah, there’s the love birds. Good morning, Beatrice Lulu, Ed. How are you this morning?” He shook Ed’s hand and reached for mine.

  I shook his hand and avoided looking him in the eyes. That comment about lovebirds galled me. I took Ed’s arm and pulled him into the church. Hopefully my face wasn’t too red.

  “See, that wasn’t so bad,” Ed whispered.

  “Love birds! He called us lovebirds. You said he wouldn’t say anything.”

  Ed chuckled and led me to a pew. Vicar John followed shortly after and proceeded to the front. I could hardly look at h
im. At least Ed was right. It was over and done with and I didn’t have to worry about it anymore. Not that facing him was going to be easier in the future, but what the heck, I am married and what Ed and I do in our own house wasn’t anyone’s business, vicar or not. I picked up the hymnal, sighed, and started singing.

  After the service, Ethel caught up with us just as we reached the door. “Vicar, what a wonderful sermon,” she gushed. “I just love when you talk about marriage.”

  Okay, it was a good sermon, but did he have to add the part about sharing private moments? And I swear he looked right at me when he said it. Maybe it was to assure me that Ed and I didn’t do anything wrong. If he was trying to put me at ease, it wasn’t working. What bothered me was him intruding on us. Granted we should have closed the door, but who would have thought he, or anyone for that matter, would show up. Next time we’d know better. If there was a next time, that is. Knowing Ed, there would be.

  Ethel shook his hand, turned, and looked at me. “You are picking me up for swimming tomorrow, aren’t you?”

  “Oh, have you two joined the Y for swimming?” Vicar John looked from Ethel to me.

  My face burned. Just what I needed, another reminder. I looked away, avoiding Vicar and tried to hurry past him, but Ethel blocked my way.

  “Yes,” Ethel said. “It’s such fun. It took a while to convince Beatrice Lulu, but once I got her in that bathing suit, she took right to it.”

  “I’m sure she did. Well, you have fun.” Vicar patted my hand.

  I wanted to slap my sister. Surely she didn’t know what Vicar John saw, did she? Certainly he wouldn’t have gossiped about it, would he? I finally pushed her out of the way and took off to my car.

  Ethel caught up with me. “What the heck is wrong with you?”

  Wrong with me. If only she knew. Or did she? “What was all that about getting me in a bathing suit?”

  “What do you mean? It was true, once I got you in that suit and in the water you enjoyed it, admit it.”

  “That’s all you meant? Nothing else?”

  “What else? What are you talking about? I swear since you hit your head you don’t make a lot of sense sometimes.”

  Phew. Apparently just a coincidence. Still I didn’t think I’d ever live it down in the vicar’s eyes. Good thing he was only here for a year. “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

  Ed caught up to us and I wanted to slap that grin off his face. “Vicar John said to enjoy your swim.”

  That did it. I stomped my foot and got in the car. I’d heard enough.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  After a quick cup of coffee, I took off to pick up Ethel. I actually looked forward to our session. Ethel was right, swimming didn’t feel like exercise and other than the instructor, everyone’s body looked pretty much like mine.

  I flipped on my blinker ready to turn onto Ethel’s street when a car flew past. That did it. I pulled out of the turning lane and screeched after it. Good thing there wasn’t much traffic because it wasn’t easy to keep up. Whoever drove that car knew what he was doing. I kept him in view although I was pretty sure where he was going.

  A few minutes later, he confirmed my suspicions and turned onto Sycamore Street. I sped up, but still kept my distance. Sure enough, he pulled into that old garage. What the hell was going on? I drove past. Now what? I turned left onto Elm Street and circled back. If I parked on the far end of Sycamore, maybe I could snoop around. Ed would kill me if he found out, but I wasn’t about to let that happen.

  I closed my door as quietly as possible. If anyone was around, I didn’t want to alert them. I headed to the back of the garage, stopped and listened. Voices came from inside. Sounded like three or four men. Not that I could make out what they were saying. Up to no good, the way I saw it. Probably stole that car. But why?

  I snuck up to a window and peered in. Four men stood around the car. Arguing from the tone of their voices and the way they waved their hands. One guy, dark haired and biggest of all four, said something that quieted them all down. Damn, I wished I could make out what they were saying. Maybe if I moved to the next window.

  Suddenly something stuck in my back. What the hell? I turned around and met a big moose of a guy. I mean BIG! Towered over me. Course most people did, but this guy would tower over everyone. I didn’t much like his face either. Mean son of a gun with a scar from his eye to his neck and a nasty sneer.

  “Well now, what have we here?”

  “Harrumph, you don’t know who you’re dealing with.” The very idea, talking to me like that.

  “Looks to me like you’re trespassing. We don’t like snoops around here.”

  “My niece is the Police Chief.”

  “I don’t much care if she’s the President of the United States.” He waved a gun in my face.

  The gun and his deep, gruff voice sent shivers through me. I was in trouble, deep trouble and didn’t have a clue how to get out of it. Hell, I could barely think.

  “Let’s go.” He shoved me forward.

  I stumbled and almost fell. Go, hell I could hardly stand and he wanted me to walk. He shoved the gun into my back. Adrenalin took over and my feet moved faster than I knew they could.

  “Hey guys, look what I found.” He pushed me into the garage.

  “What the hell’s wrong with you bringing someone in here?” The dark haired big guy looked angry.

  “I found her outside snooping around under the window.”

  “Great, just effing great. What are we supposed to do with her?”

  “For now, tie her up.” The moose grabbed some rope off a hook and threw it to the dark haired guy. “And make sure it’s tight enough she can’t get loose.”

  The dark haired guy grabbed my hands behind me and twisted the rope around them. Damn, it hurt. My legs shook so bad if I didn’t sit down I was going to fall down.

  “Yeah, then what are we going to do with her? Leave her here? She can identify us.”

  “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Moose said.

  Oh God, they were going to kill me. I’d never see Ed again. Why didn’t I listen to him and mind my own business? Dark haired guy dragged me across the garage, threw me into a chair, and tied me to it. Tears burned my eyes but I fought them back. Think. I had to think.

  Where the hell was Callie when I needed her? Damn, why hadn’t I thought to call her? Too stubborn for my own good. Ed said it’d get me into trouble one day. Guess that day was here.

  A tear escaped. Try as I might, I just couldn’t hold it back. They were going to kill me sure as my name was Beatrice Lulu Eberhardt. I’d never see Ed again, or my sisters and Mama. Who did I think I was playing private eye, snooping around where I didn’t belong? If by some miracle I got out of this alive you could bet I wouldn’t pry in anyone’s business again. Nope, never again.

  I still had my cell phone. If only I could get my hands free, maybe, just maybe I could make a butt call. I wiggled and jiggled and moved my hands every which way. I swear the ropes tightened every time I moved. I sent up a silent prayer. Again, I wiggled and jiggled my hands to no avail. I was dead. God only knew when they’d find my body, if they ever did. This old garage had been abandoned for years. Even teenagers didn’t come here anymore.

  No one would find my body, except for the bones after the animals got through with me. Racoons, skunks, rats. The thought of it sent shivers up my spine. Would they even know who I was when they did find my remains? How would they identify me? Not even through dental records, I hadn’t been to the dentist in years. Avoided them like the plague.

  What would Ed think when I didn’t come home? How long would they look for me? Surely Ethel would call Ed when I didn’t show up for swimming. Someone was sure to recognize my car, or at least someone would report it sitting on the street for too long, wouldn’t they? But how long before someone reported it. People tended to mind their own business these day. Well, most people did. I, on the other hand, would report it after a day o
r so, but I’m not like most people, as Ed so fondly pointed out time after time.

  Suddenly I heard an evil laugh. One I’d never forget. I turned toward the sound and he stood there, looking as demonic as I remembered. I’d never forget those bulging eyes, that bulbous nose, and that wicked grin. The guy who kidnapped me at the bank stood not four feet away. I lowered my head, partly to avoid him seeing me and partly to avoid looking at him. No doubt about it, I was going to die.

  I wiggled my hands again. No matter how bad it hurt, I had to get out of here and soon. It finally felt like the rope was loosening a little. Not that I knew what I was going to do once I got free. I’d figure that out then. Maybe they’d leave for a while. I could only hope and pray.

  “Get started on that car and make it quick,” Moose said. They all stood.

  The evil one looked my way, took a couple steps toward me. I held my breath.

  “You! You’re the bitch from the bank. Damn near got me arrested.” He started toward me, arm raised.

  I closed my eyes and cringed, waiting for the blow.

  “Leave her alone!” Moose said. “You’ve got better things to do than hitting defenseless old women.”

  “She’s the bitch who almost got me arrested.”

  “Yeah well if you hadn’t been fool enough to kidnap her, that wouldn’t have happened. What the hell were you going to do with her anyway? Bring her back here?”

  “Nah, I was gonna dump her off in an alley somewheres. I ain’t that stupid.”

  “Yeah, well get to work. We got to get these parts shipped out today.”

  I let out my breath when he turned around and headed for the car. “What you gonna do with her?”

  “We’ll deal with her later. Get busy.” Moose walked behind my chair, checked the ropes, probably to see if they were tight enough.

  Good thing I hadn’t gotten my hands loose yet. He walked away and went to help the others. Now was my chance while they were all busy. If I could just squeeze one hand enough to pull it through.