The Reeducation of Savannah McGuire

by Heidi McLaughlin

  “I thought we were going to your house?”

  I chuckle. “This is my house.” I hop out of the truck and walk to my front door. The soft smell of pine greets me. I breathe in deeply and admire my freshly installed floors. When Jeremiah told me about the lumberyard getting their hands on some wide-planks, I couldn’t resist. It took me three weeks to get the floor down and polished, but it was worth it. My house is small, but it’s mine for as long as I want it. The two bedrooms are large and accommodating, but with only one bathroom it can be a little cramped when my mom comes to visit. Last summer I installed a bay window, but haven’t done much else. This winter I plan to replace the mantle and maybe update the kitchen. Aunt Sue did a lot of work before I moved in, but it looks more like a cabin than a home. I turn back to see her sitting there, looking straight ahead. Leaving the front door open, I give her a choice of whether or not she wants to come in, but I’m really not counting on her doing so. I head right to the shower so I don’t keep her waiting. The sooner we’re out of here, the better. After tonight I won’t have to take her shopping again.

  Letting the hot water beat down on my back relieves some of the stress I’m feeling. I can’t let her get to me. She’s changed so much since she’s been gone that it’s unfair of me to expect her to be the same, or to adapt to our laid back way of living. The country and city just don’t mix that well. Thoughts of her sitting in my truck, with beads of sweat forming on her forehead because of the sun plague my mind. I slam the water off and get out. I don’t want her bitching about me taking too long in the shower and the fact that I even care what she thinks pisses me right the hell off.

  Opening the bathroom door, I step into the living room, cinching my towel tightly around my waist. My dumb ass didn’t think about bringing clothes into the bathroom with me when I left the front door wide open, and it should have because Savannah is standing in front of me, her crystal blue eyes roaming up and down my body. If I weren’t happy with the way I look, I’d wonder if she was impressed. I’ve worked hard on my physique, keeping myself in shape. I could wink as I walk by, but she’s standing in my way. I can either return to the bathroom or stand here like a wanton piece of art and let her gawk. I encourage her to get her fill of me. I want to be ingrained into her memory so that when she’s far from here and she looks at another guy, she only has flashes of me. I want her to see that I’ve also grown up and that neither of us are those two kids that everyone remembers.

  Maybe that’s what I want. Maybe in the back of my perverse mind this is what I need – for her to see me, like this, in my home. What purpose that serves, I have no idea, other than getting us both flustered. The thought of touching her skin, like I did only an hour ago in the kitchen, forces me to step back. I’m not crossing the boundaries she’s put up. She quickly licks her lips, her wet, pink, tongue showing briefly before she pulls it back into her mouth. The urge to kiss her is there, but if I do, I’ll lose my towel and neither of us is ready for that to happen.

  Savannah sways ever so lightly from foot to foot. Her demeanor has changed from when we were in the yard. This is the Savannah that I want to know, not the icy cold bitch from earlier. If I can have this girl, I’d start spending every free minute with her.

  “What happened to your house?”

  I clear my throat and rub my free hand on my towel. “It burnt down about a year after you left. Mom and I moved closer to town, but I didn’t like it. I missed the ranch too much. When I turned eighteen, Aunt Sue showed me this place. She had been restoring it for a while and was going to rent it out, but figured that I didn’t much like staying in your pink bedroom. I moved in and started working for your uncle. As soon as I graduated, I went full-time and started taking some classes online, which sucked because I had to do it at the library, but it all worked out. After I finished my degree, Bobby handed over a lot of responsibilities. I can afford to move now, but I like this house. It has everything I need.” I look around, afraid to make eye contact with her. She asked me a simple question and for some reason my mouth went on a verbal tangent.

  “You lost everything?”

  “I did,” my answer is barely a whisper. I don’t know if she realizes it, but there’s so much meaning behind her choice of words and the fact that she said “everything”. I felt lost when she left. I know it wasn’t her fault, but I couldn’t help but be mad at her. She left me. She was my best friend, and she moved away. Losing my personal belongings was just the icing on the cake during an already depressing year.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For what? You didn’t set my house on fire.”

  She shakes her head and steps closer... too close. “No, I didn’t, but I can still feel bad that you lost everything.”

  I should step back and put some distance between us, but I can’t. I don’t want to. “I lost my most important possession earlier than that. It wasn’t harmed in the fire.”

  Her eyes meet mine and I can see the realization in her blue orbs. “Me,” she whispers. I nod, unable to deny her this answer. She steps forward, the fabric of her dress brushing against my towel. Her fingers dance along my skin, causing goosebumps that I haven’t felt in a very long time to pebble my skin. The trail she leaves ignites something in me. Many images flash before my eyes, all of them ending up with me sans my towel and between her legs.

  “Savannah,” I murmur, huskily. She responds by allowing her fingers to trace my jaw.

  “I didn’t want to leave,” she admits quietly.

  I nod, unable to hold back. I slip my arm around her waist and pull her closer. Her chest, heaving as her breathing picks up, brushes against mine. She’s a smart girl. She knows what’s coming next. “If you don’t want me to kiss you, please step back. I won’t be mad.”

  Savannah bites her lower lip, tilting her head to the side. Her hand moves to my head and her fingers running over what little hair I have left. I don’t hesitate as I move forward and press my lips to hers. Immediate warmth mixed with chills takes over my body, and I try to pull her closer while keeping my hand securely fastened to my towel. One false move and she’s going to see how much this kiss really means to me.

  Savannah

  My body trembles. My heart thumps wildly against my chest. Tyler’s arm holds me securely to him while my fingers play with the short hairs on his head. I wish his hair were longer so I could run my fingers through it and feel the silky strands as they caress my fingers. I understand why he keeps it short, but for once I want this fantasy to play out – the one playing out in my head where he drops the towel and carries me off to his bedroom while I thread my fingers through his locks, pulling as he climaxes. Not that the scenes running through my mind as I anticipate his next move aren’t making me hypersensitive to his actions.

  His eyes dart between my mouth and my eyes, the dark orbs of his pupils hijacking the vibrant green I’ve become accustomed to as they widen. I don’t know what they’re conveying, but I hope he’s seeing that I want him to kiss me, that I need him to kiss me. I know I don’t deserve his attention, let alone his affection, but I want it. I’ve wanted it since he walked into the kitchen and told me who he was. The feelings I had when I left, the ones my mother told me were wrong and that I was too young for, are rushing back with each and every moment. As much as I want to deny they exist, I can’t. As much as I want to keep my wall up and pretend like he doesn’t matter, he does. He was my best friend and now he’s standing in front of me, hopefully about to kiss me.

  I can feel the rise and fall of his chest. Our breathing matches, keeping us connected. My eyes flutter as his lips touch mine. They’re soft, softer than I thought they would be. They still against mine, as if he’s cautious, waiting for me to pull away and start running for the hills. I didn’t know it until he touched me like this, but I’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life. I want more. No, I need more. I have to know if he’s feeling the same crazy mixed up nervousness that I am when he’s around. I need to know if his palms swe
at when I stand near him, because mine do. Does his heart pound so hard that he fears if he doesn’t walk away people will hear? If I could tell him… if I could find the words or find a way to show him that I want him, maybe everything would be okay.

  The kiss is too quick, and he pulls away. At best he gave me a peck. That’s all I’m worth to him. It’s all I deserve. I let my hands fall in defeat. He catches one, placing it over his left pec. I swallow hard as my fingers caress his skin. I feel his skin pebble under my touch and knowing that I’m doing that to him turns me on. I don’t know why he’s hesitating because right now I think he knows what I want.

  My eyes meet his. They’re gleaming. He turns his head slightly before placing his hand on the back of my neck. He wets his lips and moves toward me painstakingly slow. I try to move closer, but I’m sealed to the ground. He smiles, sensing my need. I’ve never felt an urge quite like this. If he doesn’t kiss me soon, I’m going to kiss him whether he likes it or not.

  The anticipation is too much to bear, so I don’t wait. I take control. I grab the back of his head and pull him closer to me, closing the inches enough for him to know what I want. I briefly catch a smile before my lips take his. If this is what he wanted, and I caved, I lose. Right now I don’t care because I feel his tongue move against mine masterfully. He steps back, righting himself along the wall, spreading his legs just enough for me to step between them. I feel his towel brush against my leg and then skin, lots of skin.

  My hand roams over his chest feeling the definition of his muscles. My fingers work to memorize each ridge and valley. I reluctantly remove my hand from his hair and to his back. He shifts away from the wall, allowing me easier access to touch him. He presses himself against me, letting me feel what I’m doing to him. I whimper as he pulls me closer with both of his hands on the side of my head. He’s no longer holding the towel and I don’t even care. Having him kiss me like he’s wanted this is all that’s important to me and all of a sudden I’m lost in everything Tyler.

  Tyler pulls away, breathing heavily. Our breathing is in sync as if we’re one. He peppers me with kisses along my eyes, cheeks and finally the corners of my mouth before placing his lips on mine again, albeit briefly before he pulls away.

  “Sweet baby Jesus, Savannah that was…”

  “Perfect,” I interject. It was for me and I can only hope that I’ve met his expectations. My hands drop from his body, both screaming with desire to touch him again. I clench my fists tightly, afraid that I might be overstepping or feeling something he’s not.

  “Perfect would be an understatement. You don’t know how long I’ve waited to do that.” My body sighs happily that he feels the same way and I try not to smile. He rests his head against the wall and gazes at me as his fingers trail down my arm before linking with mine. If I move my eyes, or step away slightly I know I’ll be seeing all of Tyler. I’m not sure how much control I’d be able to maintain so I keep my eyes focused on his and try to read his expression.

  “Come here,” he murmurs, placing his hand on my cheek. “For as long as I can remember, I’ve had dreams about kissin’ you and those dreams hold nothin’ on reality. I know you have a lot going on and if this ain’t right for you, don’t be afraid to tell me. I’m not going anywhere.”

  I pull my bottom lip into between my teeth and nod. “I had this vision of what it’d be like when I got off the bus, ya know? I thought I’d come down the stairs, and you’d be waiting. I’d jump into your arms and everything would be the way it was when I left.”

  “Except I screwed that up because you look nothin’ like the Savannah that left me five years ago.”

  “Is that bad?” I ask with a bit of fear in my voice. The last thing I want is for him to not like me because I grew up.

  He shakes his head. “Hell no, it doesn’t matter what you look like as long as you don’t mind being in my arms. We need to get to know each other and believe me when I say this; I plan to get to know you all over again. You’ve been gone for a long time and we really haven’t been gettin’ along but that can all change.” He swallows as his thumb moves back and forth on my cheek, gently caressing it. “You’re so beautiful and as much as I want to continue standing here, I’m naked and unless you plan to take care of my issue, I’d like for you to turn around so I can grab my towel. As soon as I’m dressed I can take you on that shoppin’ trip I promised.”

  I hesitate because honestly there’s nothing stopping me. He raises his eyebrow, calling me out on my stalling tactic. I give him the eye roll that I know pisses him off as I turn around. I hear him shuffle behind me and when his arm comes around my waist, I don’t think twice. I lean against him and am rewarded with small kisses on my neck.

  “You have no idea, Savannah,” he says against my skin before walking away. He’s right, I don’t, but I really want to find out.

  I barely have time to register that he’s gone before he’s standing in front of me again, this time in a dark t-shirt with his sleeves rolled up over his biceps. His shirt is tucked into dark blue jeans and of course, he’s wearing his cowboy boots. For the first time since I’ve been here, my idea of what my ideal man would dress like has changed. He’s not some city guy with a rich family. The image now is of a man who’s wholesome and hardworking, everything that my friends back home would scoff at. Thing is, I like what I’m seeing, even though I’m leaving at the end of the summer.

  “Ready?” he holds out his arm for me, adding to the already growing list of things I like about Tyler.

  “I have to stop at the library to send my homework.”

  He looks down at his watch and sighs. “We’ll have to drive fast,” he laughs. Somehow I think that’s not a problem for him.

  He walks us out of the house and shuts the door behind him, never letting go of my arm. When he walks around to the other side of the truck, I realize that this is the first time anyone is going to open the door for me. It’s crazy how this simple gesture makes my heart beat faster.

  “Thank you,” I say as he holds my hand, helping me into the truck. I’m not shy about staring at him as he runs around the front and hops in. I’m trying not to smile, but I can’t help it. Earlier today, when I was waiting for him, I was pissed. I thought he and Jeremiah were badmouthing me. It was my typical girl bullshit, always assuming the worst. I need to learn that not everyone in my life is out to get me or hurt me.

  “After you do a little shoppin’, we’ll stop for supper and then I want to take to you to Red’s and introduce you to Della.”

  The instant he says a female’s name, my body tenses. Maybe Tyler’s no different than the guys back in New York. Maybe he’s just better at hiding it than they are. I stiffen when he reaches for my hand, but I let him hold it just to save face.

  “What’s wrong?”

  How he knows something’s wrong is beyond me. “I’m fine.” I attempt to convince him but my smile is stilted and I turn to look out the window.

  My hand clenches his as he barrels off the side of the road, digging up gravel and dust. Before I know it, he has my seat belt undone and I’m almost sitting on his lap. His hands cup my face, forcing me to look at him.

  “I’m not playing games, sweetheart. That kiss back there? I meant it. Now tell me what just soured your mood.”

  “Who’s Della?”

  “Ah honey, she’s the bartender, and she’s heard all about you probably from Jeremiah and his big girly mouth. I just wanted you to meet her, that’s all. I’m not one who goes around kissin’ beautiful girls when I have someone else to keep my bed warm at night. The moment I heard you were comin’ back,” he stops and shakes his head. I don’t know if he doesn’t want to tell me, but I want to know. “I’m fixin’ to say some seriously girly shit and if you laugh I’m going to take you over my knee, ya hear me?”

  I nod and stifle a giggle. Sometimes, Tyler’s southern drawl is heavy and other times he acts like he’s not some straight-up southern cowboy.

  “When Uncle Bobby
mentioned you were comin’ back, I thought this was a chance for us to see if we really had a connection the way I remembered all those years ago. I made sure I had no loose ends before you arrived.”

  “Loose ends, as in girls? Do you have a girlfriend?”

  “No ma’am.” His smile is so wide and his eyes are gleaming. “Unless you want to be.”

  I roll my eyes. “Ah shucks, Billy Bob, when you go and ask me like that, how can a girl resist?”

  Tyler chuckles and leans in for a kiss. “I’m going to have so much fun with you tonight.” He brushes his lips quickly against mine and nudges me back to my seat. “Yee-haw,” he screams loudly as he steps down on the gas pedal, his tires spinning up dirt and gravel as the tail end of his truck shakes back and forth. This is the Tyler King I’ve been waiting to see.

  Tyler

  Today is moving entirely too slow for my liking. Each time I look at my watch, only a minute or two has passed and I know my work is suffering. I’m not sick or hung over, just infatuated, and I took the menial task of moving hay bales into the horse barn so I could be close to Savannah. She’s cleaning the horse stalls today, a job that I gave her so I could stare at her. So I could see her smile at me each time I pass by... and with each smile, my steps falter a little bit more, but it’s worth it.

  Last night was more than I ever expected. When I came out of the shower and saw her standing there waiting for me, my breath caught. The sun was beaming through the front window, shining on her just perfectly. She was glowing as if she were an angel, even though I knew she was far from it. Her piss pour attitude from earlier still weighed heavily on my mind. But she surprised me. She moved closer. She touched me. That moment was everything I had hoped for and never thought would ever happen.

  Yesterday I did things I never thought I would enjoy. I shopped, carried bag after bag and I held her hand proudly. There were stolen kisses under the awnings of storefronts and heated ones against the side of my truck. By the end of the evening, Savannah had stocked up on everything she needed to make it through the summer, including a pair of cowboy boots. I tried to buy her a hat, but she wasn’t having it. The plan was to take her to Red’s, but when we arrived, they were closed so they could resurface the dance floor.