Claiming Amelia

by Jessica Blake

  I excused myself and went below to use the head and heard her screaming. I came bounding up and she had us heading directly into shore. I caught the wheel and turned it, showing her how to duck so we could come about. She was terrified, and I was sorry I’d left her without enough instruction to feel comfortable.

  There was a flash and I looked to the west. The storm, it seemed, was much closer than I’d anticipated. Our view had been obscured by the large hills, and it was not a gradual darkening, but a sunshine to black wall transition. We were well into the lake at this point and I hurriedly looked for a cove where we could shelter until it passed. Auggie was at the wheel and I leapt forward to lower the sail.

  The wind hit like a huge hand had slapped us aside. It caught the sail that was still open and the boat tipped to one side, almost lying flat on the water. I realized then that Auggie had not lowered the keel; there was no counterbalance to the wind-filled sail. I turned to tell her to do it and there was no one behind me. The wheel was spinning freely and I dropped everything to run and see where she’d gone overboard. The next blast of wind caught and the untended wheel spun, allowing the boom to swing freely, catching me in the back of the head.

  ***

  I was dreaming of being in the shower with Auggie and how we’d made love again, just after having crawled from our bed. I had a headache and struggled to remember where I’d been the night before so I could guess how long this hangover would last.

  It wasn’t a dream, though, and my head hurt because I’d been caught by the swinging boom. It all came back to me as the boat listed again in the storm. The rain was so dense I couldn’t see the shore and I began screaming Auggie’s name.

  I pulled myself to my feet and ran from side to side, stern to bow and saw nothing. Only the rain thrashed the water’s surface; no pale arms, no glorious mantle of hair, no Auggie. I screamed over the wind, only to have my words carried away in the shriek of the Valkyries who had brought the wind down upon us.

  Desperately, I jumped below, but there was nothing but a riot of broken dishes and belongings tossed about. Auggie was nowhere to be found.

  I lowered the keel and completely dropped the sail, then started the motor. In a flash of horror, I turned it back off, afraid she might be caught in the blades. I couldn’t steer without headway so I grabbed a life ring and jumped into the churning water around the motor to see if she was about. I saw nothing. I hefted myself back aboard and started the motor, trying desperately to find the location on shore I’d previously fixed my sight upon as refuge. I had no idea how long I’d been unconscious or how far the boat might have drifted.

  My heart was screaming and salty tears added to the rain drenching my face. “Auggie! Auggie!” I grabbed the radio mic and called in an SOS but this wasn’t the ocean. The only help might be a small outboard patrolled by the Fish and Game Department to catch those without a fishing license. Hopefully, I could find her before they became my best chance.

  I shielded my eyes and looked in every direction. Auggie could swim, but I had no way of knowing if she’d been knocked unconscious when the boat listed and she’d gone over. I finally recognized the intended point of focus on the shore through the sheets of blowing rain and headed in roughly that direction so I could circle about and hopefully find my original position.

  I screamed into the wind and it blew my pleas for help back against my face. The lake was not terribly deep, nor was it very broad from east to west. This gave the wind-driven waves little room to play out and the result was waves folding over waves.

  Then, just as suddenly as it hit, the wind stopped and the black bank of clouds was now to the east. The water settled, only a mild rain persisting. I could see now and steered in concentric circles looking for her. I was hoarse by now and couldn’t get my voice louder than a whisper. I realized it was not so much strained vocal chords as the tension and terror that paralyzed them. Auggie was nowhere to be seen. No thrashing, no debris, nothing.

  Another boat, an outboard with two fishermen saw my arms waving through the rain. They’d evidently been caught in it too, and came closer. “Everything okay?” one of them called. I motioned him closer and managed to get out that my wife had gone overboard and I couldn’t find her. They waved acknowledgement and pointed that they would work a zig-zag to the west and I was to do the same to the east of the point where we’d met.

  I was frantic. Every kiss, every time I’d held her, every time I’d seen her emerald eyes now ran before me. I would have gladly given my life in exchange, if she would just surface and wave to me, smiling that she was okay.

  Leaning as far as I could over the side while still steering, I drove the appointed course and then heard a voice in the distance. Following the sound, I saw the fishermen. They were a few hundred yards from me, close to the shore’s edge. Throwing the motor into full, I raced to them, my heart hammering in excitement and dread. As I came closer, I saw a body lying in the weedy sand at the water’s edge. I killed the motor and dove into the water, swimming for all I was worth toward her.

  I reached her and felt for a pulse. She was alive! I rolled her over and began CPR, thanking God for the summer of lifeguard duty I’d taken while in college, as well as the med school background. The fishermen had brought their boat ashore and stood by, looking helpless. The look on their faces turned my soul cold.

  I continued CPR, pumping Auggie’s chest, her lovely shirt torn and weedy. Her hair was likewise filled with grasses and for all the world, she looked drowned, but I would not give up.

  In the space of my heartbeat, she moved and her mouth opened to gasp for air and to retch lake water out of her lungs. I rejoiced and held her sitting up so she wouldn’t aspirate on the vomit. The men put their hands over their heads in a clasp of prayer and shouted, “Thank you, Jesus” as I cried. I was raw and my head was bleeding openly, but my Auggie was alive!

  The fishermen climbed back into their boat and made for my sailboat, climbing aboard and using the radio to call for the local fire and rescue. It seemed like only moments passed before I heard the rail of a siren coming closer and then there were men in fireman’s gear everywhere. I was bent over Auggie, my blood dripping on her torso and while she looked at me, her eyes were blank, her mouth silent. I realized she was probably in shock. The EMTs reached us by this time and once they determined that the blood on Auggie was not from her, but me, they clamped her in protective, isolative gear that prevented her from moving her head or limbs. I was likewise “packaged” and loaded on hand-carried litters until we reached an ambulance helicopter which flew us side by side to Louisville. The small hospital near the lake was not prepared to handle head injuries and Louisville had state-of-the-art diagnostic equipment.

  I lost sight of Auggie after the flight and it wasn’t until later that afternoon that Auggie’s dad, Walter, and Mom came in to see me. Mom’s face was frozen in concern, but I assured her that I was stitched and x-rayed and mostly just there for observation. I asked immediately after Auggie and saw them exchange glances.

  “She’ll be fine,” was all they said and I knew they were holding back.

  “What’s wrong?” I demanded to know.

  Walter cleared his throat and put his hand over mine on the bed. “Worth, Auggie is whole but there has been some swelling in her brain. They say they have it under control but have put her into a drug-induced coma to reduce the damage. She’s in ICU right now and will be for the next few days.”

  “Oh my god!” I tried to sit up, but Walter pushed me flat.

  “Worth! She’s asleep right now and there’s nothing you can do to help her except to rest and recover yourself.”

  I tried again to sit up, but his hand was firm. “Listen to me!” he said. “Get hold of yourself! Worth! Lay down now and don’t aggravate your injury. She’ll be fine and is in good hands right now. Let her rest.” I glared at him. “Look,” he said in a calming voice. “Don’t you think if there was a danger or something that could be done, I’d be in
there with her right now?”

  This got through to me. I gathered my thoughts despite the hammering in my head. He was right. When I had tried to sit up, the room started to swim. I needed to do the smart thing and recover. I knew the neurologists and staff at this hospital. She was in the best hands possible. They’d done some groundbreaking accomplishments here. We were lucky it was the closest to us. Then another thought occurred to me. “Ford! He’ll hear about it. It will be on the news.”

  “We’ve already thought of that, Worth. We sent Bernie to get him. They should be here any moment.”

  As if summoned by the mere words, there was a knock on the door and Bernie walked in, peering around the corner at the bed. “Hello?”

  “Is Ford with you?” I barked anxiously.

  “He’s right here,” he said. He turned and motioned with his hand. “Come on in, son, your dad is right here.”

  Several moments passed before I saw Ford’s face. He didn’t approach the bed, just stood next to Bernie. I held out my hand toward him. “Ford, son, come here. Let me hug you.”

  Ford stood his ground, his military hat in his hands. Everyone turned to look at him, concerned that he would be afraid for me. That, however, was not the case.

  Ford raised his chin and said, “Why did you try to kill my mother?”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Worth

  I played the scenario over and over in my head. One moment, we were waking up sweetly warm from a night of love-making and the next, she lay in the weeds and I feared her dead. Now, our son believed I’d intentionally put her there. I couldn’t lie still. Eventually, I rang for a nurse and asked for something to help me sleep. I needed my strength back before I could sort this out and get to Auggie. They brought me a tiny paper cup with two pills and that was the last I remembered until the next morning.

  They rolled in the cart to check my pressure and take my pulse. An aid followed with a plate of soupy eggs and plain coffee. I sipped the coffee and asked to see the doctor on duty. My credentials did get me a little express treatment, I will admit, and as long as I promised to not drive and to keep a cane with me in case I got dizzy, they released me.

  Bernie appeared, having left Ford with Mother for the time being. We felt he would be safest there and Mother welcomed his company. Bernie found a wheelchair and we went to the ICU to see Auggie.

  I thought I would stop breathing when I saw her. She was lying so still in that big, white bed. She was intubated and there was tape over her eyelids. A bank of blinking monitors hugged her bed and the nurses’ station was barely ten feet away through the observation window. I nodded to them and a tall young nurse in green scrubs came in and greeted me. “Dr. LaViere,” she acknowledged.

  “I want to see her chart,” I ordered and though she hesitated, she obliged. Evidently she knew that to resist would be useless. She brought an iPad and reviewed Auggie’s information. I looked at the scans and the neurological exam that had included poking her feet and limbs to determine whether she suffered from any numbness. The CT scan showed swelling of her brain and although it was not substantial, they had effectively put her brain on pause until the swelling would go down. I had enough training to see that she was in serious, but stable condition and unless something unforeseen occurred, they would probably bring her out of the coma in forty-eight hours.

  “Go get yourself something to eat, Bernie. I’m staying here.”

  “Can I bring you something?” he asked quietly even though the loudest noise in the world wouldn’t rouse Auggie right then.

  “Bring me back my wife,” I said and he bowed his head, patted my shoulder and quietly left the room.

  ***

  The hospital arranged for a room for me on the same floor as the ICU. I stayed there and Bernie brought me clean clothing and edible food. He had seen to the boat and removed our possessions. All that remained was to get Auggie better and reunite our family.

  I couldn’t see Ford at that time. I needed him to see his mother smile and healthy again so she would tell him what had happened. Nothing I could say would make a difference in the meantime. I kept in touch with Mother, who watched him and said he spent most of his time staring at the television. He was obedient and polite but said little.

  The doctors monitored Auggie’s swelling and finally decided to bring her out of the coma. I sat in the corner of the room and watched as they adjusted her IV solution and she gradually began muscle movement. As she surfaced, she tried to move her hands to pull the tube from her throat, but they’d already been secured. Two doctors stood by and once she was conscious, they removed the intubation and she started breathing calmly on her own. She had yet to open her eyes although the tape had been removed. My heart was hammering in my chest as we all waited to see if she responded normally.

  She was still sleepy when I walked over to her bed and took her hand in mine. Her eyes fluttered open and I was rewarded with a flash of green diamonds. Her pulse raised as she looked about, trying to figure out where she was. There was no obvious reaction to anything she looked at, including me.

  “Let her sleep some more,” the doctors said and left instructions at the nurse’s station to be called when she appeared more alert. I maintained my vigil by her bedside and with the help of Bernie, she was never left alone. Gradually, she stayed awake for longer and longer periods but didn’t speak and avoided looking anyone straight in the eyes. The doctors spent time with her and ultimately took me to the side.

  “Dr. LaViere, in our opinion, your wife has some sustained damage from her accident. While it appears she’s fully cognizant and has complete use of her body, she does appear to have some residual memory loss. She knows she’s in a hospital but cannot tell us her name or any personal details whatsoever. In our opinion, this is a temporary condition that should resolve itself over time. It’s most likely due to the swelling, which is now contained. We’re prepared to release her as long as she has full-time supervision in your home. Can you arrange for that, Dr. LaViere?”

  They had just so matter-of-factly taken my breath away. My Auggie was missing. In her place was a woman of equal beauty and spirit, but she had no idea who I was, or that we had a son. I nodded. “Of course,” I said hoarsely, tears streaming down my cheeks.

  Auggie came home two days later. She was speaking, but her voice was impersonal and cold. I hired a full time nursing staff, a physical therapist and made appointments with specialists who dealt with memory loss. I knew she would not share a bed with me. In fact, she had been reluctant to get into our car for the ride home. I put her in our bedroom and took the guest room next door for myself.

  Ford was completely confused. He could see his mother and that she was whole and uninjured, and yet she didn’t speak to him. She watched him move around but never spoke to him directly and there was a vacant look in her eyes if anyone mentioned his name.

  “Mother?” he called to her as she sat on the patio, looking out over the barns. Auggie didn’t budge. He tried again, coming up beside her and touching her arm. She drew her arm back quickly and looked frightened. “Mother, it’s me, Ford.” She relaxed a bit, realizing it was only a child and gave a half smile.

  “Hello, Ford, how are you?” she answered him quietly.

  Ford was encouraged, but I could see that she was only being nice to him because he was a child. I could immediately recognize that as much as he might want to be near her, it was not a healthy thing for him.

  I came out onto the patio and asked Ford to come inside so we could talk. I took him into my study and closed the door.

  “Son, your mother has some problem remembering people, as you can see. The doctors feel it will eventually go away, but for right now, we need to be patient with her.”

  “This is your fault,” he spat at me, his eyes flashing. “You took her out on a boat in a storm and she didn’t know how to do anything. It’s your fault she almost drowned. I will never forgive you for this.”

  I took a deep breath. “For
d, first of all, I love your mother and would never do anything to harm her. You know that.”

  “You didn’t keep her safe. That’s the same thing as hurting her.” His back was rigid and he was being defiant. I tried to figure out whether he truly believed I would let Auggie get hurt, or whether this was a fixation of his rebellion. Either way, he had to be separated from her.

  “I won’t argue that point, son. You’re right in that it is always my responsibility to keep those I love and depend on me safe. That includes you. The difference is that this was an accident and those I have no control over. But what I do have control over is how many people I will let get hurt. That includes you. Your mother needs time to recover and to remember. She’s still in there, but it will take time for that to happen.”

  “What if it never happens? What if my mother is gone forever?” he rasped and began to cry. I hurried toward him, and he put his face against my chest and cried heartbreakenly hoarse sobs.

  “Son, I can’t make any promises and I won’t insult you by treating you as a child. Not in this case. You’re facing a man’s kind of hurt and there’s nothing I can do about that. I want you to go back to school this afternoon, get back to your life. Give your mother the time she needs to heal completely. If it happens that she never remembers, then we’ll give her new memories beginning today. If, on the other hand, she gets it back, she will still know that you are where you need to be. She won’t feel guilty for having you put your life on hold.”

  He stopped crying and straightened up, wiping his eyes. He nodded. He understood. “I’ll have Bernie drive you back. Go and tell your mother goodbye and pack up your things. I promise I won’t travel out of town and will stay here and look after her. I’ll get the best doctors and do everything they say to do. We’ll get her back, Ford. I give you my word that I’ll do my best to get her back.”