Honey (Full Throttle Series)

by Hazel Parker

  Just like before, I took my time savoring my moment inside the car before I got out, where I was met with a deafening roar of cheers. I already anticipated the other half of the crowd’s boos, but that didn’t mean it was any easier hearing them. I refused to let it bring me down, even when my heart ached a bit at the sound of it. My hand almost trembled, so I fisted it to steady it as I met the ones congratulating me with a smile on my face, then headed back to the garage.

  Because the press conference wasn’t until the weekend and I survived the initial wave of congratulations—and some choice insults—I decided to linger in the garage, more out of stubbornness as I wanted to prove to everyone that I wasn’t affected by the jeers nor the not-so-innocent looks shot my way. My crew were some of the last to leave, and they told me to take it easy and that they’d see to the car on the next fix-up. Just as I was about to leave, a tap on my shoulder stopped me in my tracks, and my first thought was a reporter had snuck in and was about to bombard me with questions all over again.

  I turned around, already dreading it but also ready to snap. All defensiveness disappeared at the sight of a familiar person with a very friendly grin on his face.

  “Cooper!”

  Without hesitation, I launched myself at him, hugging him tight as I did so. Cooper chuckled and hugged me back, and I was immediately comforted by that gesture alone. He did that—comforted me without him realizing it, and I knew it had a lot to do with his protective instincts more than anything. I remembered it was partly the reason I had this huge crush on him back then, misinterpreting his sweet ways as him being interested in me. The disappointment had been sharp when I found out he merely thought of me as a sister, but the way he looked at Sara made me realize that what I had with him was fleeting and would never amount to the connection they obviously had. Those two were so in love, it was charming and sweet.

  I stepped back from the hug and eyed him, pleased to see that he looked the same as he always did—all those easygoing good looks, along with the same sparkle in his eyes. He never stopped treating me differently after he and Sara got married, and he was the type of loyal friend that you’d be grateful to have. He eyed me back, studying me.

  “How have you been feeling?”

  There was an underlying tone to the casual question, and I knew exactly what he was asking. If it was any other person, I would have easily put on a smile and brushed the question off to happier topics. But because it was Cooper, and he was genuinely concerned, I didn’t hesitate in my response.

  “Like a piece of shit, but I’m coping.”

  “Ah, as expected. And have you knocked some reporters out yet?”

  A reluctant grin slid out of my mouth, which was his intention. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in.

  “Not yet,” I said grudgingly. “Although I came very, very close.”

  “Don’t hold yourself back,” he said solemnly, his thick Texan accent coming through. “You know Sara would be secretly pleased.”

  Sara would have a meltdown, considering she’d be handling more damage control. But I hadn’t been kidding when I said I was close to knocking a few people out. I was normally a pretty chill person who didn’t lose her patience much, but what had been happening these past few weeks had been taking its toll on me.

  “Sara would kill me,” I muttered. “Where is she? Wanna have early dinner?”

  He shook his head. “She’s on overtime. But we can get a head start, and I’ll let her know to catch up. What do you say to that?”

  I tilted my head, considering. “How about we head to my place and I cook you some really good dish? I know Sara loves the biscuits as much as you do.”

  “She loves the biscuits more than I do, and she’s not even Southern.”

  I laughed. Then I linked my arm through his, my voice turning flirtatious. My crush on Cooper? That was all gone now, it felt like he was an older brother.

  Before he could respond, another voice interrupted.

  “Hey, Cooper.”

  Cooper and I turned to look at Gavin, though Gavin was only looking at Cooper. Cooper gave him the same pleasant grin that he gave me. “Hey, Gav. How’s the new job?”

  “Tedious,” Gavin responded calmly, making my brows rise. “I think Sara mentioned something about you guys having some romantic dinner?”

  Now it was Cooper’s brows that rose, and I watched in confusion as he and Gavin had some kind of stare down. Some kind of communication went on in that silent moment, baffling me.

  Then Cooper broke the gaze, nodding his head and grinning at me. “You know what? I think he’s right. Can I take a rain check right now and shall we do this later when Sara’s actually available?”

  I nodded my head, a bit disappointed. But I tried not to let it show. “Okay. I’ll send her some biscuits, anyway.”

  “That’s awesome. Thanks, Honey.”

  He hugged me again, and I watched as Gavin glared daggers at me. It was only when Cooper was gone and we were the only two left there that it all clicked into place. I whirled on Gavin.

  “Was that you trying to drive him away?”

  He didn’t even hesitate. “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’ve just invited yourself more scandal by inviting a married guy over to your apartment when his wife is busy.”

  Disbelief slid through me, followed by indignation. “What on earth are you implying?”

  “I’m implying nothing.”

  “Then why did you even do that?”

  “Because the reporters could be anywhere, and you’re being irresponsible by flirting with him in a public place. Have you no consideration?”

  He railed on at me, shocking me to my core. I responded the only way I could—with hostility. “I do have consideration. You’re the one being unreasonable. Don’t ever do that again.”

  “You like him, don’t you?”

  The question took me aback, and I stared at him. “What?”

  “Did you like him before?”

  I didn’t know how he’d come to that conclusion, but I couldn’t exactly lie. I sputtered. The truth must have shown in my eyes because suddenly his gaze grew cold.

  “I see. Next time, if you feel the need to flirt, walk away. It will just add to this mess.”

  And with that parting statement, he was walking away, leaving me torn between shock and outrage.

  Worst of all, humiliation.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  GAVIN

  “How fucking dare you?”

  I’d been waiting for the explosion ever since I walked away, leaving her a piece of my mind and frustrated that I wasn’t able to control my mouth or my words better. But the curse coming out of her mouth startled me, because I’d never heard her curse before. Her accent going deeper as she came at me was so at odds with the curse that it had me halting—something Honey took advantage of as she practically ran until she was standing right in front of me.

  “Are you implying that I’m cheating with Doug?” she asked, her voice outraged. Actually, her whole expression was outraged, and her body vibrated with that emotion. Her hands fisted at her sides, and I think she was trying really hard not to sock me.

  “I’m implying nothing,” I responded, repeating what I said earlier.

  Honey glared. She tried to take a deep breath, the way she usually did when her temper was almost lost—but this time, it didn’t work, and she threw her hands in the air and planted her feet apart. “Do you want to know the actual truth?”

  Her tone told me she wasn’t going to let me slip out of here without her saying it, anyway. So I planted my feet as well and crossed my arms, giving her a steady look. “Maybe.”

  “The truth is Cooper’s my first friend in Florida. I was this nervous girl working my ass off and live my dreams at the same time, and I was so doubtful if I even made the right decision coming here. He made me feel welcome and looked out for me when no one did, and he didn’t ask for anything in return. So I sta
rted having feelings for him. I tried to pursue it.”

  The truth rang in her voice, and I couldn’t speak or interrupt as she kept talking.

  “But as it turns out, it was completely one-sided. He was in love with Sara. He’d always been in love with her, and that made me evaluate my feelings. I realized in the end that I was projecting, and what I actually felt for him was a deep love that was neither attraction nor anything romantic.”

  Her eyes shone, and frustration rose. “I flirt with him because I trust him. He knows that. Sara knows that. It doesn’t mean anything, and I never proposed anything to him. It’s just harmless flirting because I know he wouldn’t take it seriously and would never, ever take advantage of me. Sara knows it, too. And for you to accuse me of something like that…you pretty much just ruined everything. You don’t know me, okay? This is how we work. Don’t judge me, because I don’t deserve that.”

  Then she was done and walking away, but not before I caught the hurt that flashed in her eyes. I realized instantly what a huge mistake I made—or rather, what an ass I’d been to her. Every single one of her words rang true, and that made me feel lower than low.

  I inwardly cursed. Then I was running after her and calling out her name. Honey ignored me for a while until we got to the locker rooms, where she whirled on me just as I was about to hold on to her wrist. My hand paused, inches away.

  “What?” she snapped.

  “I’m really sorry.”

  The words took her aback. I used it to my advantage and kept talking this time. “I’m very protective of Sara. She was an employer who became my close friend. She’s been through so much, and I don’t like the idea of her getting hurt. When I saw you with Cooper like that…”

  “You assumed,” she supplied for me.

  “Yes,” I admitted. The image of her with Cooper flashed through my mind again, and it brought about feelings that had my stomach reacting and I was yet to analyze. “I assumed, and that was wrong. I shouldn’t have judged you, not when…” Not when everyone who was anyone already judged her too much for a single sex video.

  Christ. I really was an ass. “I’m sorry, Honey.”

  My apology had silence filling the air, with Honey staring at me in surprise. Her eyes softened and her stance relaxed, and it was only then that I realized my hand was already on her wrist and rubbing it in soothing motions.

  We were standing close, mostly because I’d leaned closer in an effort to get to her. She didn’t step away, and we stood like that for a while. An urge to pull her in came at me, particularly when I saw the unshed tears in her gaze. I wanted to hug her and comfort her, even when I was the one who brought her that misery, anyway.

  I wanted to pull her close and do something else.

  The second urge was so strong and so raw that it shook me—enough to take an invisible step back. In response, my body stiffened. I knew she noticed right away because she seemed to struggle with making her expression go blank. She succeeded, but not nearly soon enough.

  “I’m sorry,” I repeated, feeling like a fool.

  “How many times are you going to apologize?”

  “As many times as I can. I’m an ass.”

  “You are,” she said, frustration brimming in her voice. “You made me feel like crap.”

  “Christ. Fuck it. I’m sorry.”

  “Stop saying you’re sorry.”

  “I am.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it anymore, okay?”

  I wanted to talk about it more—hell, I wanted to apologize a hundred more times, but it really did seem like she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. So I let go of her hand, letting go of the warmth of her skin in the process.

  “Okay,” I finally responded.

  “I need to go to the bathroom,” she said. Then she was going back to the building and disappearing out of sight, leaving me alone with my own frustration in the lobby.

  Because there was nothing to do, I ended up sitting on the couch and brooding. My mind worked a mile a minute as I tried to find ways to make amends, and in the end decided that I was just going to have to respect her wishes in her want to not talk about it anymore. Maybe I could treat her to dinner. Or be nicer to her.

  Anything, really.

  Twenty minutes later, my worry began to turn to suspicion, a nagging alarm of the instincts. I got off of the couch and wandered over to the hallway where the restrooms were located, leaning against a wall and waiting for her outside. I called out her name but got no response and wondered if she was being petulant and refused to come out.

  What if she was crying inside?

  Guilt shot through me, which had me pushing the door to the female restroom and entering. There was no one near the sink, and I eyed the four stalls that should have had at least one closed. But they were all open, and they were all empty.

  The restroom was empty.

  A sinking feeling settled in my stomach as it clicked, especially when I remembered the way she avoided my eyes when she excused herself from me earlier. At first, I thought it had been because she was mad, and maybe that was partially it—but now I realized it was also because she didn’t want me to see the truth in her eyes.

  She’d used the back door and ditched me.

  *****

  “Are you telling me you lost her?”

  Sara’s voice sounded surprised over the phone, and I couldn’t exactly blame her.

  “Yes,” I responded. Yes, Honey ditched me, using the restroom as an excuse and slipping out the fire exit to get to her car, which she also took with her. The race car was still in the garage, which meant she barely thought the idea through.

  This was entirely spontaneous and act of petulance.

  Sara sighed. It was a rather tired sigh, and I realized her work must have been keeping her exhausted. “What did you do?”

  I blinked at the question. Then I sighed, too. “I called her out.”

  “For?”

  “For flirting with your husband.”

  “Flirting?”

  “She was being all touchy-feely with him,” I said, trying to find the right words to let out. “Laughing at all his jokes, inviting him over to her place for dinner.”

  A part of me expected her to rage or turn frosty, as Sara usually did when something didn’t please her. The woman could be an ice queen. But relief rushed through me when she sighed again, this time in what seemed to be annoyance at me. It only doubled my guilt.

  “Now what did you do that for? She always flirts with Cooper, and it means nothing. Didn’t she tell you that?”

  “She told me exactly that,” I muttered under my breath.

  “And you still went off accusing her?”

  “Basically.”

  “Cooper loves her like a little sister,” Sara said firmly. “And while she may have felt differently in the beginning, that was years ago. And I trust him.”

  “So you knew she liked him before?”

  “Just as I know she loves him like a brother now,” she confirmed.

  Well, shit.

  Every point she was saying hit home, driving the guilt further up. “I shouldn’t have assumed.”

  “You shouldn’t have assumed,” she agreed. “And knowing how harsh you can be…I guess I’m not surprised she did run off.”

  “Have you ever been frustrated by me before?”

  “Yes.” There was no hesitation in her voice. “But I’m older and better at controlling my emotions than she is.”

  “I figured that.”

  “Honey’s still young, and she can be pretty spontaneous. When she’s mad, she’s mad, even after you apologize. She needs a day or two to get over it. But she’s a good girl who deserves better than what’s being thrown her way right now.”

  “And I just added to it.”

  “Not necessarily, but I know you’ll make up for it. She’s a strong one, Gav. Don’t worry too much about it.”

  Easier said than done. I grumbled. “Cooper’s going to kill
me.”

  “He definitely will. Did you make Honey cry?”

  “Almost.”

  “Then I won’t tell him because he might sock you.”

  “Any idea where she might have gone?”

  “Not really. She doesn’t go out much, actually. She just likes cooking dinner or hanging out with us.”

  Well, double shit.

  “I’ll find her.”

  “You’d best better. She can take care of herself, but paparazzi are pretty slick these days and will find any way to take advantage.”

  “Does she go to bars? Clubs?”

  “She’s not much of a night party person, so I suggest trying out comfort restaurants and such. Oh, and she likes art and comic shops.”

  She liked comics?

  It only went to show that there was a lot I still didn’t know about her, which gave me no right to judge. I kept looking at Honey, and I kept seeing an attractive woman who felt similar to my wife, and maybe acted a bit similar in some aspects, too. Maybe that was why I was so mad that she was flirting with Cooper, because Tanya used to do that with other men, too, even when said men were married.

  And with Tanya, it often led to something else.

  But Honey was different, and I was the one at fault here. My guilt was mixed with frustration still, as we could have talked about it like mature adults. We had to work this out if we were going to keep co-existing.

  When Sara hung up, I brooded some more. Then, because brooding was going to get me nowhere, I got out of the restroom.

  Then I started my search.

  CHAPTER NINE

  HONEY

  I wasn’t a party girl, mostly because I was raised in a town where most of the residents looked down on anyone who partied too much or showed their wild side. At first, I thought that the repression was one of the reasons I was so eager to move to Florida and leave it all behind—that was, until I was completely settled in the city and still didn’t party much, which made me reach the conclusion that my decision had purely been based off my want to race and nothing else.

  But the frustration of what happened with Gavin earlier and the hurt of it was too much, and I didn’t think I could handle it with my usual stress-relieving ways like cooking or driving. So I did a complete turnaround and contacted a friend I hadn’t seen in months instead—Heather, a socialite who was basically the life of the party and an old lingerie model just like me—and I told her that I needed to take some of the stress away.