And Be a Villain nwo-13

by Rex Stout

  “Don’t do that!” he thundered.

  “You’re such a stinker!” “Very well. Archie, lock her in the bathroom and phone Mr Cramer to send for her.” I stood up, but she paid no attention to me. “All right,” she said, “then I’ll tell her how you made me tell, and my mother can tell her too. When they got the new glasses I didn’t know why, but I noticed right away, the broadcast that day, about the bottles too. That day Miss Vance didn’t take eight bottles, she only took seven. If it hadn’t been for that I might not have noticed, but I did, and when they were broadcasting I saw that the bottle they gave Miss Fraser had a piece of tape on it. And every time after that it has always been seven bottles, and they always give Miss Fraser the one with tape on it. So I thought there was some connection, the new glasses and the tape on the bottle, but I was just guessing.” “I wish you’d sit down, Miss Shepherd. I don’t like tipping my head back.” “I wouldn’t care if you broke your old neck!” “Now, Nan,” her mother moaned.

  Nancylee went to the red leather chair and lowered herself on to the edge of it.

  “You said,” Wolfe murmured, “that you promised Miss Fraser not to tell about this. When did you promise, recently?” “No, a long time ago. Months ago. I was curious about the tape on the bottle, and one day I asked Miss Vance about it, and afterwards Miss Fraser told me it was something very personal to her and she made me promise never to tell. Twice since then she has asked me if I was keeping the promise and I told her I was and I always would. And now here I am! But you saying she should be arrested for murder…just because I said it I didn’t know…” “I gave other reasons.” “But she won’t be arrested now, will she? The way I’ve explained?” “We’ll see. Probably not.” Wolfe sounded comforting. “No one has ever told you what the tape is on the bottle for?” “No.” “Haven’t you guessed?” “No, I haven’t, and I’m not going to guess now. I don’t know what it’s for or who puts it on or when they put it on, or anything about it except what I’ve said, that the bottle they give Miss Fraser has a piece of tape on it. And that’s been going on a long time, nearly a year, so it couldn’t have anything to do with that man getting murdered just last week. So I hope you’re satisfied.” “Fairly well,” Wolfe conceded.

  “Then may I phone her now?” “I’d rather you didn’t. You see, she has hired me to investigate this murder, and I’d prefer to tell her about this myself-and apologize for suspecting her.

  By the way, the day Mr Orchard was poisoned-did Miss Fraser’s bottle have tape on it that day as usual?” “I didn’t notice it that day, but I suppose so, it always did.” “You’re sure you didn’t notice it?” “What do you think? Am I lying again?” Wolfe shook his head. “I doubt it. You don’t sound like it. But one thing you can tell me, about the tape. What was it like and where was it on the bottle?” “Just a piece of Scotch tape, that’s all, around the neck of the bottle, down nearly to where the bottle starts to get bigger.” “Always in the same place?” “Yes.” “How wide is it?” “You know, Scotch tape, about that wide.” She held a thumb and fingertip about half an inch apart.

  “What colour?” “Brown-or maybe it looks brown because the bottle is.” “Always the same colour?” “Yes.” “Then it couldn’t have been very conspicuous.” “I didn’t say it was conspicuous. It wasn’t.” “You have good eyesight, of course, at your age.” Wolfe glanced at the clock and turned to me. “When is the next train for Atlantic City?” “Four-thirty,” I told him.

  “Then you have plenty of time. Give Mrs Shepherd enough to cover all expenses.

  You will take her and her daughter to the station. Since they do not wish it to be known that they have made this trip, it would be unwise for them to do any telephoning, and of course you will make sure that they board the right train, and that the train actually starts. As you know, I do not trust trains either to start or, once started, to stop.” “We’re going back,” Mom said, unbelieving but daring to hope.

  CHAPTER Eleven

  There was one little incident I shouldn’t skip, on the train when I had found their seats for them and was turning to go. I had made no effort to be sociable, since their manner, especially Nancylee’s, had made it plain that if I had stepped into a man-hole they wouldn’t even have halted to glance down in. But as I turned to go Mom suddenly reached up to pat me on the shoulder. Apparently the pat I had given her at one of her darkest moments had been noticed after all, or maybe it was because I had got them Pullman seats. I grinned at her, but didn’t risk offering to shake hands in farewell. I ride my luck only so far.

  Naturally another party was indicated, but I didn’t realize how urgent it was until I got back to the office and found a note, on a sheet from Wolfe’s memo pad, waiting for me under a paperweight on my desk-he being, as per schedule, up in the plant rooms. The note said:

  Have all seven of them here at six o’clock.NW Just like snapping your fingers. I scowled at the note. Why couldn’t it be after dinner, allowing more time both to get them and to work on them? Not to mention that I already had a fairly good production record for the day, with the 11 a.m.

  delivery I had made. My watch said ten to five. I swallowed an impulse to mount to the plant rooms and give him an argument, and reached for the phone.

  I ran into various difficulties, including resistance to a summons on such short notice, with which I was in complete sympathy. Bill Meadows balked good, saying he had already told Wolfe everything he knew, including the time he had thrown a baseball through a windowpane, and I had to put pressure on him with menacing hints. Madeline Fraser and Deborah Koppel were reluctant but had to admit that Wolfe should either be fired or given all possible help. They agreed to bring Elinor Vance. Nathan Traub, whom I got first, at his office, was the only one who offered no objection, though he commented that he would have to call off an important appointment. The only two I fell down on were Savarese and Strong. The professor had left town for the weekend, I supposed to hunt formulas, and Tully Strong just couldn’t be found, though I tried everywhere, including all the sponsors.

  Shortly before six I phoned up to Wolfe to report. The best he had for me was a grunt. I remarked that five out of seven, at that hour on a Friday, was nothing to be sneezed at. He replied that seven would have been better.

  “Yeah,” I agreed. “I’ve sent Savarese and Strong telegrams signed A, but what if they don’t get them on time?” So there were five. Wolfe doesn’t like to be seen, by anyone but Fritz or me, sitting around waiting for people, I imagine on the theory that it’s bad for his prestige, and therefore he didn’t come down to the office until I passed him the word that all five were there. Then he favoured us by appearing. He entered, bowed to them, crossed to his chair, and got himself comfortable. It was cosier and more intimate than it had been three days earlier, with the gate-crashers absent.

  There was a little conversation. Traub offered some pointed remarks about Wolfe’s refusal to admit reporters for an interview. Ordinarily, with an opening like that, Wolfe counters with a nasty crusher, but now he couldn’t be bothered.

  He merely waved it away.

  “I got you people down here,” he said perfectly friendly, “for a single purpose, and if you’re not to be late for your dinners we’d better get at it. Tuesday evening I told you that you were all lying to me, but I didn’t know then how barefaced you were about it. Why the devil didn’t you tell me about the piece of tape on Miss Fraser’s bottle?” They all muffed it badly, even Miss Fraser, with the sole exception of Traub. He alone looked just bewildered.

  “Tape?” he asked. “What tape?” It took the other four an average of three seconds even to begin deciding what to do about their faces.

  “Who is going to tell me about it?” Wolfe inquired. “Not all of you at once.

  Which one?” “But,” Bill Meadows stammered, “we don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Nonsense.” Wolfe was less friendly. “Don’t waste time on that. Miss Shepherd spent most of the day here and I know all abou
t it.” His eyes stopped on Miss Fraser. “She couldn’t help it, madam. She did quite well for a child, and she surrendered only under the threat of imminent peril to you.” What’s this all about?” Traub demanded.

  “It’s nothing, Nat,” Miss Fraser assured him. “Nothing of any importance. Just a little…a sort of joke…among us…that you don’t know about…” “Nothing to it!” Bill Meadows said, a little too loud. There’s a perfectly simple-” “Wait, Bill.” Deborah Koppel’s voice held quiet authority. Her gaze was on Wolfe. “Will you tell us exactly what Nancylee said?” “Certainly,” Wolfe assented. “The bottle served to Miss Fraser on the broadcast is always identified with a strip of Scotch tape. That has been going on for months, nearly a year. The tape is either brown, the colour of the bottle, or transparent, is half an inch wide, and encircles the neck of the bottle near the shoulder.” “Is that all she told you?” “That’s the main thing. Let’s get that explained. What’s the tape for?” “Didn’t Nancylee tell you?” “She said she didn’t know.” Deborah was frowning. “Why, she must know! It’s quite simple. As we told you, when we get to the studio the day of a broadcast Miss Vance takes the bottles from the cabinet and puts them in the refrigerator. But that gives them only half an hour or a little longer to get cold, and Miss Fraser likes hers as cold as possible, so a bottle for her is put in earlier and the tape put on to tell it from the others.” “Who puts it there and when?” Well-that depends. Sometimes one of us puts it there the day before…sometimes, it’s one left over from the preceding broadcast…” “Good heavens,” Wolfe murmured. “I didn’t know you were an imbecile, Miss Koppel.” “I am not an imbecile, Mr Wolfe.” “I’ll have to have more than your word for it. I presume the explanation you have given me was concocted to satisfy the casual curiosity of anyone who might notice the tape on the bottle-and, incidentally, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was offered to Miss Shepherd and after further observation she rejected it.

  That’s one thing she didn’t tell me. For that purpose the explanation would be adequate-except with Miss Shepherd-but to try it on me! I’ll withdraw the ‘imbecile’, since I blurted it at you without warning, but I do think you might have managed something a little less flimsy.” “It may be flimsy,” Bill Meadows put in aggressively, “but it happens to be true.” “My dear sir.” Wolfe was disgusted. “You too? Then why didn’t it satisfy Miss Shepherd, if it was tried on her, and why was she sworn to secrecy? Why weren’t all the bottles put in the refrigerator in advance, to get them all cold, instead of just the one for Miss Fraser? There are-” “Because someone-” Bill stopped short.

  “Precisely,” Wolfe agreed with what he had cut off. “Because hundreds of people use that studio between Miss Fraser’s broadcasts, and someone would have taken them from the refrigerator, which isn’t locked. That’s what you were about to say, but didn’t, because you realized there would be the same hazard for one bottle as for eight.” Wolfe shook his head. “No, it’s no good. I’m tired of your lies; I want the truth; and I’ll get it because nothing else can meet the tests I am now equipped to apply. Why is the tape put on the bottle?” They looked at one another.

  “No,” Deborah Koppel said to anybody and everybody.

  “What is all this?” Traub demanded peevishly.

  No one paid any attention to him.

  “Why not?” Wolfe inquired, “try me with the same answer you have given the police?” No reply.

  Elinor Vance spoke, not to Wolfe. “It’s up to you, Miss Fraser. I think we have to tell him.” “No,” Miss Koppel insisted.

  “I don’t see any other way out of it, Debby,” Madeline Fraser declared. “You shouldn’t have told him that silly lie. It wasn’t good enough for him and you know it.” Her grey-green eyes went to Wolfe. “It would be fatal for me, for all of us, if this became known. I don’t suppose you would give me your word to keep it secret?” “How could I, madam?” Wolfe turned a palm up. “Under the circumstances? But I’ll share it as reluctantly, and as narrowly, as the circumstances will permit.” “All right. Damn that Cyril Orchard, for making this necessary. The tape on the bottle shows that it is for me. My bottle doesn’t contain Starlite. I can’t drink Starlite.” “Why not?” “It gives me indigestion.” “Good God!” Nathan Traub cried, his smooth low-pitched voice transformed into a squeak.

  “I can’t help it, Nat,” Miss Fraser told him firmly, “but it does.” “And that,” Wolfe demanded, “is your desperate and fatal secret?” She nodded. “My Lord, could anything be worse? If that got around? If Leonard Lyons got it, for instance? I stuck to it the first few times, but it was no use. I wanted to cut that from the programme, serving it, but by that time the Starlite people were crazy about it, especially Anderson and Owen, and of course I couldn’t tell them the truth. I tried faking it, not drinking much, but even a few sips made me sick. It must be an allergy.” “I congratulate you,” Wolfe said emphatically.

  “Good God,” Traub muttered. He pointed a finger at Wolfe. “It is absolutely essential that this gets to no one. No one whatever!” “It’s out now,” Miss Koppel said quietly but tensely. “It’s gone now.” “So,” Wolfe asked, “you used a substitute?” “Yes.” Miss Fraser went on: “It was the only way out. We used black coffee. I drank gallons of it anyhow, and I like it either hot or cold. With sugar in it.

  It looks enough like Starlite, which is dark brown, and of course in the bottle it can’t be seen anyway, and we changed to dark blue glasses so it couldn’t be seen that it didn’t fizz.” “Who makes the coffee?” “My cook, in my apartment.” “Who bottles it?” “She does-my cook-she puts it in a Starlite bottle, and puts the cap on.” “When, the day of the broadcast?” “No, because it would still be hot, or at least warm, so she does it the day before and puts it in the refrigerator.” “Not at the broadcasting studio?” “Oh, no, in my kitchen.” “Does she put the tape on it?” “No, Miss Vance does that. In the morning she gets it-she always comes to my apartment to go downtown with me-and she puts the tape on it, and takes it to the studio in her bag, and puts it in the refrigerator there. She has to be careful not to let anyone see her do that.” “I feel better,” Bill Meadows announced abruptly. He had his handkerchief out and was wiping his forehead.

  “Why?”Wolfe asked him.

  “Because I knew this had to come sooner or later and I’m glad it was you that got it instead of the.cops. It’s been a cock-eyed farce, all this digging to find out who had it in for this guy Orchard. Nobody wanted to poison Orchard.

  The poison was in the coffee and Orchard got it by mistake.” That finished Traub. A groan came from him, his chin went down, and he sat shaking his head in despair.

  Wolfe was frowning. “Are you trying to tell me that the police don’t know that the poisoned bottle held coffee?” “Oh, sure they know that.” Bill wanted to help now. “But they’ve kept it under their hats. You notice it hasn’t been in the papers. And none of us has spilled it, you can see why we wouldn’t. They know it was coffee all right, but they think it was meant for Orchard, and it wasn’t, it was meant for Miss Fraser.” Bill leaned forward and was very earnest. “Damn it, don’t you see what we’re up against? If we tell it and it gets known, God help the programme! We’d get hooted off the air. But as long as we don’t tell it, everybody thinks the poison was meant for Orchard, and that’s why I said it was a farce. Well, we didn’t tell, and as far as I’m concerned we never would.” “How have you explained the coffee to the police?” “We haven’t explained it. We didn’t know how the poison got in the bottle, did we? Well, we didn’t know how the coffee got there either. What else could we say?” “Nothing, I suppose, since you blackballed the truth. How have you explained the tape?” “We haven’t explained it.” “Why not?” “We haven’t been asked to.” “Nonsense. Certainly you have.” “I haven’t.” “Thanks, Bill.” It was Madeline Fraser, smiling at him. “But there’s no use trying to save any pieces.” She turned to Wolfe. “He’s trying to protect me from-don’t they cal
l it tampering with evidence? You remember that after the doctor came Mr Strong took the four bottles from the table and started off with them, just a foolish impulse he had, and Mr Traub and I took them from him and put them back on the table.” Wolfe nodded.

  “Well, that was when I removed the tape from the bottle.” “I see. Good heavens! It’s a wonder all of you didn’t collectively gather them up, and the glasses, and march to the nearest sink to wash up.” Wolfe went back to Bill. “You said Mr Orchard got the poisoned coffee by mistake. How did that happen?” “Traub gave it to him. Traub didn’t-” Protests came at him from both directions, all of them joining in. Traub even left his chair to make it emphatic.

  Bill got a little flushed, but he was stubborn and heedless. “Since we’re telling it,” he insisted, “we’d better tell it all.” “You’re not sure it was Nat,” Miss Koppel said firmly.