Every Inferno

by Johanna Parkhurst

  “Uh,” replied JJ. For one thing, it took him a solid minute to recognize her. She was wearing a long black dress and silver jewelry instead of the suit she’d been wearing when they’d met. “You’re here,” he finally mumbled.

  “Sure am. How are you doing?”

  “Dr. Ben called you,” JJ answered.

  She laughed. “He didn’t really need to. Of course we were going to have officers all over something like this—if ever someone like the arsonist was going to come out of hiding, this would be the place to do it.” She winked. “But based on what Dr. Ben told me, I suspect you already knew that.”

  JJ didn’t answer. Detective Starrow just kept smiling.

  “For the record, I’m glad your friend suggested someone do this. This needed to be remembered on the ten-year mark.”

  JJ blinked. “Really? You don’t think we were putting everyone in danger or something?”

  The detective huffed a little. “JJ, I have this place so lit up with cops—undercover and uniformed—that if that asshole does show up or try something, he’ll be in a jail cell before he can even pull a bottle of turpentine out of his pocket. But, for the record, the next time you try to go all MacGyver on this case, get in touch with me first, okay? I’d prefer to actually know when someone’s holding a staging for my investigation. Makes staffing the thing a lot easier.”

  “Uh,” JJ said again.

  “Anyhoo, be safe tonight, kid. No chasing tattoos all by yourself.” She left to talk to someone else, and JJ decided he should probably find Maggie and ask her if they could go back to the lobby. He didn’t want to risk having another conversation with Detective Starrow where all he could say was “Uh.”

  “JJ!” McKinley waved to him from across the room as soon as JJ and Maggie stepped out of Theater Two, and JJ felt his heart beat a little faster. He started straightening his tie, and then stopped as soon as he realized he was doing it.

  McKinley made it over to him quickly and pulled JJ in for one of those one-armed guy hugs some people did. JJ was so startled he couldn’t figure out whether or not he liked it.

  JJ pulled himself together long enough to do introductions. “McKinley, this is my Aunt Maggie. Maggie, this is McKinley. He’s Penny’s tutor.”

  “Oh!” Maggie put down her drink and shook McKinley’s hand enthusiastically. “It’s wonderful to meet you!”

  They started talking about Penny and what a great kid she was, and JJ tried not to stare at McKinley. He had ditched his usual T-shirts and jeans for a dark blue suit, and JJ thought he looked… well, really good. He tried to channel Dr. Ben’s words to stem any panic that thought raised.

  Pretty soon Maggie wandered off to say hello to someone, leaving JJ and McKinley alone. “Have you seen Darryl?” JJ asked.

  “Darryl’s here with some of her family, but she didn’t bring Penny. She’s still mad at you, I guess. So, have you had any luck with… you know?”

  “No, nothing yet.”

  McKinley nodded. “Well, I’m keeping my eyes out too. You know the police are here, right?”

  “Yeah.” JJ tried to shake off the memory of how stupid he’d just looked in front of Detective Starrow. “If you do see anyone, we should let them know right away.”

  “Really? I guess I sort of had this image of you wanting to get to the guy first.”

  “I do.” JJ shrugged. “But there are other people here… you know. We should make sure they’re safe.”

  McKinley shook his head. “You never stop surprising me, Jones.” He took a sip of his soda. “Anyway, you and your aunt should check out the film in Theater Three. My mom has a friend who made it just for tonight. It’s a memorial documentary. Your parents should be in it, JJ.” He frowned slightly as he finished speaking.

  That hadn’t occurred to JJ. His stomach twisted a little.

  JJ did a few more laps around the event, keeping an eye out for tattoos. Eventually Maggie found him again, and she asked if he wanted to see the movie in Theater Three.

  And for some reason, JJ said yes.

  At the beginning of the hall that led down to Theater Three, JJ suddenly stopped. “You okay, JJ?” Maggie whispered.

  JJ nodded. For years he’d refused to even come into the Bijou Street Movie Theater. But when JJ was about ten, he’d decided he didn’t want to turn down his friends’ invitations to birthday parties and hangout sessions anymore. So he’d asked Maggie to bring him to a movie in this exact theater. He had made it through the whole thing by clutching Maggie’s hand and hoping no one saw.

  It had been a success, though. After all, it wasn’t really Theater Three itself that terrified JJ: he hadn’t even been there during the fire. It was the theater restroom. JJ hadn’t set foot in that room since he was five. He had no plans to anytime soon.

  “Let’s just get to the theater,” he said. Maggie nodded, needing no explanation, and they walked swiftly down the hall to the door on the end.

  Inside, the theater was lowly lit and quiet. People spoke in whispered tones, and a countdown on the theater screen announced that the next showing of the documentary would begin in one minute. He and Maggie found a seat in the middle of the theater just as the lights dimmed, and the movie began.

  At first, JJ was so tense he barely noticed he was gripping the armrests of his seat. The narrator began with the date of the infamous fire. He talked about the movies playing that day, and the documentary showed footage of what the theater had looked like ten years ago.

  Of course, it looked almost identical now. After the fire, the owners had insisted that it be restored exactly as it had been. JJ had always had mixed feelings about that choice. Sometimes he wished that when he walked into the Bijou Street Movie Theater, it felt like a completely different place than it had the day his parents died.

  On screen, the documentary addressed the nature of the arsonist: what he had done, where. The turpentine that had been found in Theater Three. The chair that had been used to jam the emergency exit.

  They didn’t show any direct images of the fire itself, and JJ was really glad they didn’t. He would’ve had to leave the show; he just knew it.

  Then the tone of the documentary changed. The music slowly switched from something with a deep and intense beat to something with a lot of violins and a slow, classic feeling. Pictures of people began flashing across the screen, each with two dates below them.

  It took JJ a few moments to realize that these were the victims of the fire. Next to him, Maggie squeezed his shoulder again.

  It was several long moments before a picture of JJ’s parents, hugging and smiling, appeared on the screen. JJ remembered it from the funeral. On the screen flashed the words, “Marilyn Rachel Jones, 1974-2003, and Jasper Franklin Jones, 1972-2003.”

  More pictures flashed, over and over again in rapid succession, but all JJ saw was that picture. His father’s eyes filled with happiness. His mother’s bright smile.

  Then the documentary was over, and the light was coming up in Theater Three. JJ stumbled out of the row of seats, heading for the door, and Maggie followed him. He could hear her sniffling a little, but he didn’t look at her as they spilled out the door of the theater and back into the bright lights of the lobby.

  “Well, if it isn’t JJ Jones. Split any femoral arteries lately?”

  JJ looked to his right and found Dr. Ben standing there. He smiled.

  JJ SPENT the next forty-five minutes in the lobby with Dr. Ben and Maggie, eating at least eight of some kind of tiny chocolate dessert and wishing he could join them in downing some champagne. Dr. Ben said he had no desire to see the film. “Don’t get me wrong, I admire you two for checking it out,” he said. “But if I wanted to sob in front of complete strangers, I’d just start chopping an onion on the ticket counter. Besides, I haven’t been in that particular theater in years.”

  No one asked how many.

  Dr. Ben and Aunt Maggie discussed the economy, the housing market, and health insurance—everything but the fire
. JJ ignored them and watched hands, his heart sinking a little more every time a blank one went by.

  Dr. Ben and Maggie were deep into a discussion about Maggie’s photography business when Darryl came gliding out of Theater Two and over to them.

  She looked as intimidating as ever, in a dark black dress and black stiletto heels.

  “Well, Maggie! I’m so glad you made it.” She reached over to kiss Maggie’s cheek. “Who’s this?”

  “This is Dr. Benjamin Peragena. He’s… ah… JJ’s new pediatrician.” JJ saw her lips twitch and knew she must not have told Darryl the story of the bloody breakfast.

  “Good to meet you.” Darryl shook Dr. Ben’s hand and moved her gaze to JJ. “Nice to see you, JJ.”

  “You too, Darryl.” JJ kept his tone as even as possible. “Is Penny here?”

  “No.” Darryl kept an impossibly fake smile plastered across her face. “Much too late for her, you know. So,” she continued, “do you remember my brother, Lucas O’Dell? Lucas is in town visiting me for a few days.”

  For the first time, JJ noticed a tall, dark-haired man standing next to Darryl. He was wearing an expensive-looking suit and smiling broadly. The only thing marring his image was a bright white cast wrapped around his right hand and all the way down his wrist. JJ couldn’t help but notice that Maggie was staring blatantly at him.

  JJ frowned for a moment at the cast, then realized there wasn’t much chance it was covering up the tattoo he was looking for, anyway. What were the odds that Darryl’s brother was the arsonist?

  “Good to see you all again,” Lucas said. “I remember you both from when I used to help Darryl and… Marilyn at their store when it first opened.” JJ noticed he had a difficult time saying his mother’s name. “Marilyn and I were very close. I was hoping to be able to attend tonight, for her.”

  JJ stared hard, trying to place this man. He didn’t look familiar at all. “You worked at the store? Why didn’t I ever see you there?”

  Lucas’s smile turned wistful. “I mainly worked evening shifts; I was attending college at the time. You were almost never in the store that late.”

  McKinley suddenly appeared by JJ’s side, as though he had been there the whole night. “Darryl. It’s good to see you.”

  Darryl nodded. “You too, McKinley. Please pass along my compliments to your mother—she planned a lovely evening.” She stirred her drink and studied McKinley, eyes narrowing a little. “I’ve been wondering how it was that your mother came to be the one planning this event?”

  “Your mother planned all this?” Maggie asked.

  McKinley didn’t even blink before answering. “Oh, it’s not a coincidence. I remembered what you’d told me about how Penny’s parents died, and I started thinking about the fact that no one here in town really talks about the fire anymore. When I mentioned that to my mom, we realized it was the ten-year anniversary. She wanted to do something to make sure it didn’t stay forgotten.”

  JJ tried to keep his jaw from dropping. Now that was impressive. The speech didn’t even sound rehearsed.

  Darryl nodded, satisfied. “Well, she did a lovely job. McKinley, have you met Lucas, Penny’s uncle? He’s visiting us.”

  “Great to meet ya.”

  “And I’m Dr. Ben, JJ’s pediatrician.” Dr. Ben’s eyes wrinkled with amusement. He had definitely figured out that this was the McKinley—not that there were many McKinleys living in the area.

  “Nice to meet you,” McKinley said smoothly. “Actually, JJ, could you help me out with something for a minute? I need to move a table for my mom.”

  “Sure,” said JJ, relieved to step out of the way of Darryl’s boring eyes and Dr. Ben’s laughing ones.

  “Great. Thanks.” As soon as they were away from Darryl, McKinley began whispering. “The benefit ends soon; everyone’s going to be leaving. I haven’t seen any sign of Tattoo Man yet, have you?”

  “No. And I think I’ve seen every wrist in this place. Well, except for Lucas’s, since he’s got that cast on. But he knew my mom; there’s no way it was him.”

  “Well, I thought we should do a last round. I’ll go look through the theaters again. You do the men’s room, okay?”

  JJ froze in place, a few feet from the door to Theater One. “What?”

  “Well, you never know, right? The theaters should be empty now, but I’ll double check. And the bathroom always just seems like a good place to hide.”

  It sure does, thought JJ.

  “Anyway, be back in a minute.” McKinley was gone before JJ could even respond.

  JJ dragged himself to the entrance of the men’s room. The door was exactly the same as it was in his memory.

  He stood there, amidst the scattered people who walked around him to use the restroom, ignoring their murmurs of how rude he was.

  He thought about cycles, and fires, and turpentine, and dreams, and McKinley leading him to this doorway. Then he walked inside.

  The inside was also exactly how he remembered it: A row of three sinks off to the left. Two toilet stalls, with two urinals on their far right. The spot on the floor where toilet paper had been stacked, ready to be placed into stalls after the theater closed.

  He moved off to the side, breathing hard, and watched four or five men cycle through the bathrooms and sinks. All of their hands were blank. They left, and JJ stood there, shaking.

  “JJ?” McKinley poked his head into the door. “What’s taking so long?” He stepped inside when he saw JJ, pale and propping himself up against a stall door. “Are you okay? Did you see him?” he asked excitedly.

  “There’s no one here,” JJ whispered.

  “Oh.”

  “I mean, there’s no one here,” JJ repeated.

  McKinley grimaced. “Oh shit. I totally forgot about you and this bathroom.” He grabbed JJ and pushed him into the handicap stall, where he locked the door behind them, shoved JJ down onto the seat, and pushed his head between his legs. “JJ, I’m so fucking sorry. I never should have sent you in here. Are you okay?”

  JJ laughed, pushing McKinley’s arms off his shoulders before grabbing them and using them to pull himself up. “No, you don’t understand. There’s no one here, McKinley! No one! I stood in this bathroom, and I’m still here, and everything’s fine. I can do it. I can be in the bathroom and….” He stopped, suddenly realizing how stupid the whole thing sounded when he tried to explain it.

  But McKinley just smiled. “Yeah? You’re okay?”

  “Yeah.” JJ blinked.

  “Good.” McKinley reached out to give him a hug—not a bro hug this time, but a real hug—and when he pulled away, JJ didn’t let go completely.

  Instead, JJ reached up and pushed his lips to McKinley’s.

  The kiss started light and slow, and a low tingle built itself inside JJ, moving within him as he and McKinley pressed their lips tighter together, and JJ moved more solidly into McKinley’s body. JJ knew right then that Dr. Ben was right: you are who you are.

  When they finally pulled apart, McKinley cocked an eyebrow at JJ. “Not gay, huh?”

  JJ shrugged. “Someone told me not to think about the labels so much.”

  ON THE drive home, all Maggie could talk about was Lucas. “I can’t believe how much he’s changed! We didn’t know each other well, of course. I really only remember him from Jasper and Marilyn’s wedding and a few other events. I didn’t even know he helped with the store that much. He always had a handsome face, but it was so sad. He often looked so unhappy. He seems so much more together these days. He’s an artist, you know, a painter. He’s had shows in New York and New Haven and Boston…. He came back into town just for this benefit, but now that he’s back, he’s going to stay for a while and try to arrange some shows for art galleries in the Burlington area….”

  JJ barely heard her. He was too busy wondering about Tattoo Man, who’d never showed up that evening. And the kiss. His first kiss. His first kiss with a guy. No, his first kiss with McKinley.

  Maggie w
as still going on as they pulled into the driveway. “Of course, he’s taking some time from painting right now. He broke his wrist last week, so he says it’s difficult right now….”

  “Wait.” Suddenly JJ was paying attention again. “You said he’s a painter?”

  Maggie laughed. “Where have you been? I’ve been talking about his painting for the last five minutes.” She went on about Lucas’s painting awards, but JJ stopped listening again. Lucas was a painter. Maybe, JJ thought, he shouldn’t have been so quick to stop wondering what was under that cast.

  JJ shook his head as he stepped out of the car. He was getting so paranoid that he was starting to think someone might get a cast just to hide a tattoo.

  THE NEXT day, JJ was checking out of the physical therapy wing in the hospital after his usual shift. He’d just hung his volunteer’s jacket up along with the others and was writing the time on the sign-out list when he saw Jeremy standing at the other end of the check-in desk, dressed in scrubs. Had Dr. Ben mentioned that Jeremy was a doctor too? JJ couldn’t remember.

  JJ ambled over. “Jeremy?” He hoped it was okay to call him that.

  Jeremy looked up from the clipboard. “Hello. Aren’t you the kid from Ben’s house?” He wasn’t smiling, but he didn’t look unhappy either.

  “Yeah. I just wanted to thank you for being so nice that night and all. I’m sorry about showing up like that all randomly.”

  He shrugged. “No worries. I was just there using some of Ben’s exercise equipment. It wasn’t a big deal.”

  “Great.” JJ hesitated, and Jeremy looked curiously at him, as if to say, what else?

  “I didn’t see you at the benefit for the Bijou Street Movie Theater fire the other night.” JJ wasn’t sure why he said that. Probably because he was still curious whether or not this was the ex, the one that Ben had broken up with after his daughter died.

  The way Jeremy’s face hardened made it pretty clear this was the same ex. “I’m sorry, JJ, but I barely know you. Why would you bring that up?”

  JJ squirmed. “I’m sorry… I mean, I said that because I was there. I mean, I um, lost some people in that fire. Dr. Ben told me about, you know, his daughter. I’m really sorry, you know, if that was your daughter too.” JJ knew he was barely making sense and talking almost a million miles a minute, and he wished he’d just stuck to his original thank you.