Affliction

by Amy Miles

  “No.”

  Nox pulls back to look at me. “No?”

  I slowly open my eyes. Just the sight of him makes my toes curl with desire and the longing to be held, to be told that everything will be okay and with it the capacity to actually believe it is severe. Why can’t life ever be simple? Why couldn’t the evil of the world have been wiped out with the virus and only the good remain?

  “I don’t want you to come with me.”

  Nox’s jaw clenches tight and I can hear each deep inhalation of breath through his flexed nostrils. “I know what you’re doing.”

  Tugging the covers back, I roll away from him, pausing on the edge of the bed until I’m sure that the vertigo I felt earlier will not return and then rise. My bloody pants have been removed and my shirt has been changed. I stand before him in only a baggy t-shirt and panties, feeling utterly exposed and vulnerable.

  I know that if he were to take me in his arms now and lay me on that bed to make love to me, I wouldn’t protest. Hell, I’d beg him for it, but Nox won’t do that. If there is one thing he has proven to me since the day that I met him, it is that he goes out of his way to give me exactly what I need, even when he doesn’t approve.

  Just like he will have to do this time.

  “Go and be with your people, Nox. They need you more than I do.”

  “That’s not true. You need me too.” He rounds the bed and comes toward me.

  “Stop.” He halts less than three feet from me. I can see that every muscle in his body is flexed, ready to reach for me and pull me into his arms, but I can’t allow that. My resolve will weaken far too easily. I have to remain strong...for him.

  “Please don’t make this harder than it already is,” I beg. “I can’t stop Wiemann if I’m worried about your safety. Those Flesh Bags that came for us know that I’m here. It’s only a matter of time before Cable arrives and you will be his main target. He knows now that I care for you. I will not let you die for me. I can’t. Not again.”

  All of the fight goes out of Nox. His body slumps and he shoves his hands deep into his pockets. “This is what you truly want?”

  “It’s what I need.”

  “What about what I need?” His voice is raw with emotion that I can’t allow myself to feel. I can see his torment as he struggles to find a way through the impossible position that I have placed him in. I have made him weak and that will only get him killed. I have to stop this before it’s too late.

  Pressing back my shoulders, I speak the words that I know will finally get through to him and prove just what I am capable of:

  “Cable is coming for me and Wiemann has too much of a head start. By the time I arrive at the Atlanta Safe Zone, it will already be too late. Those people are already dead.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “But I do, Nox,” I say without showing any hint of remorse, “because I am leading Cable’s army straight to them.”

  Nox rears back from me. “You wanted him to follow you there, didn’t you? That was your plan all along.”

  “It is the only way,” I reply without emotion.

  “The only way to do what?”

  I stare up at him, knowing that I am about to land the death blow. “To make sure that no one makes it out of there alive.”

  FOURTEEN

  When a knock sounds on the door several minutes later, I know that it isn’t Nox. I drove him away just as I had planned. He will need time to process what I had to say.

  “Go away.”

  When there is a second knock I reach over and grab the oil lantern and toss it at the door. “Can’t you fucking hear? I said that I want to be left alone.”

  The doorknob turns and a head pops through just as I scramble to cover myself. “Can I come in?”

  “Liam,” I sigh and feel a small amount of guilt wiggle through me. “Yeah, might as well. I’m surprised those brutes out there will let you see me without an armed escort.”

  He laughs and slips inside, quietly closing the door behind him. “I should have known your boyfriend would spill the beans about my name.”

  “He’s not my boyfriend.”

  “Really?” He stands awkwardly by the door, fiddling with his hands in front of him and appearing to be unsure of what to do with them. Finally, he just plants them on his hips. “Are you sure he knows that you two aren’t a thing, because he seems pretty protective of you.”

  Having this conversation with Liam isn’t exactly something I care to do at the moment. Especially not while my emotions are so unveiled after stabbing Nox straight through the chest. Besides, for all intents and purposes, Liam is still a stranger, not to mention way too young to be discussing relationship issues like this.

  “Yeah, well, he’s a good guy. He would do the same for anyone.”

  “Maybe.” Liam nods absently. “He has been really great with Hope. Even got her to smile a couple of times last night when she woke up screaming from a nightmare. I haven’t seen her do that in a really long time. I think she’s getting a bit attached to him.”

  I smile for his benefit. “Nox will do a great job protecting her. It’s kind of what he excels at so you have nothing to worry about there. And hey, I heard your dad is officially alive and well. That’s wonderful news.”

  “Yeah.” He shuffles his feet from side to side. “Nox says he’s been looking for me all this time.”

  “I told you he would be. That’s what good parents do for their kids.” Or at least I think that’s what they would do. Hell, my mom barely even knew if I was around or not until she got sick and then needed me. “I bet he will be thrilled to see you.”

  “Maybe.” He traces his fingers over the chest of drawers but doesn’t come up with a single speck of dust. “I’m not going back with them to the hotel, though.”

  “What?” I sit up and throw my legs over the edge of the bed, careful to make sure that I keep the throw blanket in place to remain decent in front of the kid. “Why on earth wouldn’t you go see your dad?”

  “Because I’m coming with you.”

  “Oh, no. No way. Did Nox put you up to this?” I wish that I could stand up and storm through the house to confront Nox myself for being so underhanded, but until I find some pants to wear I’m stuck. Nox is probably banking on that very fact and it burns me.

  “He didn’t have to say anything, honest. I could see the look on his face when he came out of here. Looked like you were pretty rough on him, not that it’s any of my business,” he throws up his hands in defense before I can say anything. “I just figured that you must have pulled rank on him and told him stay behind while you go and risk your life to save the world. It seems to be your MO, from what I can tell.

  I wince at his astute assumption. “I didn’t exactly tell him...”

  Liam smiles. “But you did find a rather painful way to convince him to stay here, didn’t you?”

  “Look, I appreciate the concern and all. It’s a bit unexpected since you’ve been on my ass the whole time, but I’m grateful for the thought. This is just something I gotta do on my own and if he can’t handle the truth, that’s on him. I’m doing what I have to do and I won’t apologize for it.”

  “But I don’t see why? Wouldn’t it be easier to succeed if you had people watching your back and to help you plan?”

  “You wouldn’t understand.”

  “Try me.”

  His demand stumps me. Obviously it would be a huge help to have more people on my side. Hell, if I had even a handful of Nox’s soldiers, I would stand a much better chance of tracking Wiemann down once I reach the Atlanta Safe Zone, but in doing so, I know that I will be marking each of them for death once Cable arrives.

  “Fine. Do you remember that I told you that you’d be safer without me?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, so will he. I set some pl
ans into motion that cannot be changed. The shit is going to royally hit the fan soon enough and all of you need to be out of the way before it does.”

  Liam scratches the back of his head and then turns to lean back against the dresser. “So that’s it? You’re just going to push everyone out of your life that actually cares about you just because you’re worried they might get hurt?”

  “Will get hurt, Liam. You are not listening to me. It is a given. I won’t let their deaths be on my hands just because you and Nox are too stubborn to accept it.”

  He places his hands on the dresser and hoists himself up, making himself comfortable. Apparently he plans to be here a while.

  “What makes you think it will be on your hands? If we decide to go to back you up and do the right thing, then we do it for ourselves. What gives you the right to call this your own vendetta and ignore the fact that each of us have something invested in making sure that doctor doesn’t make any more of those freaks?”

  I lower my gaze. “Nox told you about all of that, didn’t he?”

  “Yep. He sure did. At least someone isn’t afraid of telling me the truth, especially since one of those things tried to eat me, in case you forgot.”

  “Of course I didn’t forget.” I rub the spot on my bite wound should still be. “And I’m not afraid. I’m just—”

  “Afraid.”

  I smirk at his gumption. He really is a lot like me.

  “Well, at least I know you’ve still got a mouth on you, kid. But that will only get you so far. What we are facing isn’t anything like you’ve seen before. That little taste you saw the other day was nothing. What’s coming is much bigger than all of us and far deadlier.”

  “You talking about the army of the dead that are following you because your ex-boyfriend turned zombie leader wants you back?”

  If I’d been drinking something at that very moment, I would have spit every bit of it out all over myself at his matter of fact tone.

  “Dammit, Nox!” I shout it loud enough so that he can hear it through the closed door and across the house. “He had no right to tell you that much.”

  “He has every right to tell me what I’m up against. It doesn’t matter if I go back to that hotel or go with you, I’ll still have to deal with those zombies at some point, right?”

  “Yeah, but that’s totally different. One or two is hardly the same as a whole freakin’ army...” I eye him. He seems to be taking the news of walking dead people with a new taste for human flesh a bit too well. “And you just happened to start believing that those things are zombies, just like that?”

  “Well, I sort of figured it out on my own when that thing tried to make a snack of me. Plus I saw the bite mark on your shoulder when they carried you in. Besides, I heard Nox talking about your ex to the others when they thought I was across the house. I may have a tiny bit of an eavesdropping problem. That happens when you are raised with three older brothers who never let you in on their secrets.”

  “Three brothers? You never mentioned them before.”

  For the first time he scrunches up his nose and looks away. That says it all. They must have been some of the original Withered. I wonder if he’s now thinking that maybe they’ve become like the Flesh Bags.

  When I first found out that those things had turned into full-fledged zombies, I did not take the news nearly so well. I hate to admit it, but I was far less easily swayed with a heck of a lot more incentive to believe, considering that when Nox found me, I had a whole pack of Flesh Bags hot on my tail, but yet again Liam proves to be one tough kid.

  “So Nox told you all about Wiemann’s experiments, I’m assuming?”

  “Sure did. He also mentioned that you’re still all hung up about all that crap you went through. I get it, you know? It must be hard to be different but it’s also kinda cool too, don’t you think?”

  I stare back at Liam as if he’s just sprouted a third head and has pulled out a banana to smoke. Did he seriously just ask me if I think that the changes I’ve gone through are cool?

  “Or not,” he inserts quickly and jumps down from the dresser. “Either way, I’m coming with. I’ve had a couple of days to rest up so I’m pretty much good to go. I can be scrappy when I need to be and believe it or not I can be good company when I want to be. Besides, you could use the company to chill you out. If you ask me, you’re way too serious.”

  “I didn’t ask you and you’re not coming.”

  Liam smiles. “I’ll let you get dressed. We’ve got a long hike ahead of us by the sounds of it. I’ve never been to Atlanta. Should be fun.”

  He opens the door and steps out into the hall.

  “You’re not coming!” I shout but he just keeps right on walking. I glare at the empty doorway and huff. “That kid is going to be the death of me.”

  “And what about me?”

  I blink, startled to see Nox come around the corner with a stack of clothes in his hand. They smell strongly of him and I know the instant I put them on I will be transported back to a time when I was enveloped in his arms, safe and sound despite the chaos around us. Now it seems that the chaos is mostly confined within myself and everything around me is white noise in comparison. At least it was until I let a portion of that spill out onto Nox and then watched as it worked its magic to hurt him.

  “This was all your idea, wasn’t it?”

  “No. He came up with it all on his own, actually. He’s a good kid, Avery. Give him a chance to prove himself.”

  “He doesn’t need to prove anything to me, Nox. He needs to live. Why is that such a hard concept for you to grasp?”

  He smiles ruefully and places the spare clothes on the side. “I guess I can be a bit thick headed sometimes. I’m sure you know all about that yourself, don’t you?”

  I bite down on my lower lip. I want to apologize for the slap in the face I gave him, but if I do it will only soften the blow and I can’t let that happen. Not until I know he’s safely on his way back to Nashville on a wide curve around Cable’s army.

  I push up to my feet and wobble slightly. Nox instinctively reaches out to steady me, but just as quickly releases his grip on my arm. “He could be good for you.”

  “Why are you so willing to put his life at risk?”

  “Because it’s his life to live. Neither of us can make that decision for him.”

  “And Hope? Are you going to ship her off with me too?”

  Nox rolls his eyes. “Of course not.”

  “Well, at least you’ve still got some common sense rattling around in your brain.” I grit my teeth and grab the clothes from off the dresser beside him. “Aren’t you are least going to turn around while I get dressed?”

  His eyebrow arches instinctively but his face quickly settles back into a somber expression that I hate. He turns his back on me and I feel the chill that has settled between us expand.

  I never wanted this. I never wanted to hurt him and now I seem to have done it twice.

  Feeling guilt stab at me with unrelenting accuracy, I wiggle out of my clothes and quickly slip into the new ones. The pants are baggy around the waist but feel worn and comfortable. The shirt fits better but I still have to roll the sleeves and knot the hem.

  “You can turn around now.” When he does I can see a spark in his eyes that wasn’t there a minute before. “What?”

  “You do know there is a mirror pointing right at you, right?”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake.” I punch him on the arm just enough to leave a bruise. “You are such a man!”

  His soft chuckle follows me as I shove past him and move out into the hall. I walk with far more care than I would like to admit, using the wall to make sure that I don’t teeter to one side. Although the vertigo doesn’t return, I still feel off. Almost like my equilibrium is on a full tilt counterbalance and I’m struggling to keep up.

 
Once I reach the kitchen, I find Cyrus seated on the table with Fletcher wrapping a new bandage around his foot.

  “Hey,” Cyrus calls when I enter the room and several soldiers look up. Their gazes are a mixture of distrust, anger and interest. I know that Nox has probably told them to stand down and that I’m not a threat, but the urge to have a weapon close to hand is a bit too much for a couple of the men as I see their hands disappear below the table surface.

  “How’s the foot?” I ask, acting like I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary.

  “Healing,” Cyrus shrugs. “Better than having a chunk bitten out of my ass, that’s for sure. Thanks for that. If you hadn’t reacted so quickly I’d have been a goner.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m happy to take the bullet for you.” I clap him on the shoulder and then move toward the sink. A small jug of water sits beside a stack of glasses and I pour myself a cup, swallowing the entire thing in a single gulp.

  Silence falls over the room behind me and I turn to see that Nox is leaning against the hallway door frame. I can’t help but wonder if he’s taken up that position to ensure that I don’t run from the coming topic that I can see he’s about to broach. Damn him. He knows me too well.

  “We need to talk,” he says to no one in particular.

  A couple of the soldiers shift in their seats but none reply.

  “You all know why we are here and why we have stayed. You have each been briefed on the status of Doctor Wiemann and his intended destination. Now I know for many of you, hunting Cap and the others is a tough pill to swallow. They were our comrades and that’s not easy to forget,” he pauses to look each of his soldiers in the eye. “But the fact remains that they are traitors. Many of our loved ones were cleansed needlessly. They need to be brought to justice for this act.”

  I stare hard at Nox. “What the hell are you doing?”

  “Quiet, Avery. Let the man speak,” Cyrus tugs on my hand. I frown down at him but fall into a sullen silence.

  “You need to know that your involvement in continuing with this new mission is strictly on a volunteer basis. None of you are expected to go with us to Atlanta and no one will think any less of you if you turn back and return to base. In fact, I hope a few of you will. We’ve got a sick little girl in need of care and she will be far better off back home where we can help her recover, both mentally and physically.”