Victoria Victorious: The Story of Queen Victoria

by Виктория Холт

  “It is lovely,” I cried. “What a beautiful young man.”

  “You don't recognize him?”

  I looked puzzled. I lifted my eyes to his face. The plump lady was nodding and trying to tell me something. I did not understand.

  “I daresay I have changed since that was done,” said the King sadly.

  Then I knew. I looked closely and I did see a faint resemblance between the face in the picture and that of my benign young-old Uncle King.

  I smiled. “It is you …Uncle King. It was because it was so small and you are bigger now …I didn't see it at first.”

  It was a little late, but he did not seem to mind so much after all.

  He turned to the fat lady. “Pin the miniature on her dress, my dear.”

  The fat lady, perfumed and silky, leaned over and smiling at me, obeyed.

  “There! That will remind you of this day.”

  “Oh, I should not have forgotten… not ever.”

  “You are a very nice little girl,” he said. “I have given you a present. What will you give me?”

  I thought hard. One of the dolls? Queen Elizabeth perhaps…we could mend her skirt.

  He said with a smile, “A kiss would be very nice.”

  That was easy. In spite of my disapproval of Queen Elizabeth I was glad I was not going to lose her. He put his face forward and I was so happy because the visit, which I had been dreading so much, had been so easy, and because he was kind and hadn't minded in the least being called Uncle King; and partly because he had been a little hurt because I had not recognized him as the beautiful young man in the picture, I put my arms around his neck and kissed him twice.

  There was a brief silence. I had done something terrible. Mama would say I had behaved in a most vulgar way. Lehzen would be hurt because I had disgraced her. I had been warned, time after time, that I should be in the presence of the King. I was only to lift my lips and smile, and I was not to do that often. The King would be furious. He would say I had ignored his royalty. Oh dear, what had I done!

  I drew away and then I saw his face. There were tears in his eyes. He seemed suddenly much nicer than the man in the picture. He put his arms around me and held me tightly against him. It was like lying on a feather bed.

  He said, “You are a dear little girl and you have given me great pleasure.” Then he kissed me.

  And in that moment I loved Uncle King.

  * * *

  WHEN THE AUDIENCE was over and we went to our rooms in Cumberland Lodge which were made ready for us, I was still thinking about Uncle King. Mama said nothing about my behavior, which was very strange. But she was thoughtful.

  I longed to be alone with Feodore so that I could ask her why there was this odd silence. There was something else I wanted to ask Feodore. What had she thought of the King? When she had been presented to him, he had shown clearly that he liked her. Her chair had been placed next to his and he had engaged her in conversation for quite a long time. I had heard them laughing together. I think she quite liked him, too. In fact, it was difficult not to like him. He was so pleasant and charming to everyone, and if one did not look at him one could quite imagine someone as handsome as the young man in the miniature.

  As Lehzen sat in my bedroom until Mama came to bed, I did not talk, but lay quietly thinking of the visit. I was still not asleep when Mama came up.

  She came to my bed and looked down at me. “Not asleep?” she asked. “Why not?”

  “I do not know why not,” I answered. “It is just that I am not asleep.”

  Mama said, “It has been an exciting day. You were presented to the King.”

  I thought: Now it is coming. I am going to hear what a disgrace I was to them all, how badly I had behaved, throwing my arms about the King's neck; and kissing him twice when only one kiss had been asked for was an offense to royalty. I might be sent to the Tower like poor Sir Walter Raleigh, one of the most splendid of the dolls.

  “The King was in a good mood today,” said Mama.

  I was going to say how much I liked him, but I did not think that was what Mama wanted to hear.

  “You should be careful, Victoria.”

  “Oh yes, Mama.”

  “Remember your uncle is the King.”

  “Oh, I won't forget.”

  “Sometimes he hardly behaves like one.”

  “I thought he was very nice, Mama. He has lovely hair and such pink cheeks… and yet he is very very old.”

  “Things are not always what they seem. The hair is not his own. It is a wig and his cheeks are painted.”

  I was astounded, and tried to imagine what he would look like without those lovely curls.

  “They did look very nice,” I commented, still wanting to speak for him, “and even if the curls were not his own, his kindness was.”

  Mama ignored that. She said earnestly, “If he were to make any suggestion to you, you must tell me at once.”

  “What suggestion, Mama?”

  “I think he liked you.”

  “Oh yes, he did. He said I was a dear little girl. He didn't mind that I called him Uncle King. I think he liked it.”

  “He would! If ever he should ask you if you would like to live at Windsor, you must tell me at once.”

  To live at Windsor! To see the King often! To ride in the park …perhaps to be alone now and then…It did not seem such a terrible prospect.

  “To live at Windsor …,” I said excitedly.

  “You must tell me at once. It may be that the King will want to take you away from me…from your home… and to keep you at Windsor.”

  “Why, Mama?” I asked eagerly. “Why?”

  “Never mind why.”

  What a constant cry that was! If one never knew why, one remained ignorant about so many things.

  She kissed me. “Now go to sleep.”

  But I could not sleep. People cannot command sleep any more than they can make people never mind why.

  * * *

  THAT WAS ONLY the beginning. It was very clear that the King was determined I should enjoy my visit to him and that it should be one that I would never forget. Feodore told me that he had asked her what I liked and she had said that I liked dancing and music. He had declared, “Then dancing and music there shall be. At all costs we must please the little Victoria.”

  Feodore told me that she thought he was charming also. He was very attentive to her. In fact I began to believe that he preferred her to sit close to him rather than me. Though I could not complain of his treatment of me. His eyes would light up when he saw me in a way I can only describe as tender, and he had that soft look in them that was near to tears but not quite, and his cheeks would wobble and his lips twitch as though he found me rather amusing.

  There was an entertainment in the conservatory and I was seated next to him to watch. I could not help clapping my hands in appreciation of the magnificent movement of the dancers and when there was singing I sat there entranced. The King kept looking at me and smiling; and although Mama might disapprove of my obvious delight—once I jumped up and down in my seat—the King seemed very pleased about it; and when I looked at him uncertainly, he said, “Yes, I quite agree. If I were as agile as you, my dear, I should do the same. They are worthy of such appreciation.”

  It occurred to me that he made a point of remarking on everything I liked of which Mama would disapprove. Once I caught him looking at her and his expression was very different from that which came my way.

  He likes me, I thought, but he does not like Mama.

  He leaned toward me and said, “I know you would like to ask the band to play something—a favorite of yours. Would you?”

  “Oh yes,” I replied.

  “What shall it be?”

  I looked at him steadily—his pink cheeks and his lovely curls and his wrinkled, pouchy eyes—and I loved him because he was so kind to me and made me feel that I could be myself and not have to be the little girl Mama wished me to be.

  I said, “
‘God save the King.' That is a very good song.”

  He gave me that strange look again and said, “Yes, I do indeed think you are a very nice little girl. Thank you. I will tell the band that you wish to make a request.”

  Then he said loudly, “The Princess Victoria is going to ask the band to play something of her choice. Now, my dear.”

  I stood up and said very loudly and clearly, “Please play ‘God Save the King.' ”

  People clapped. Everyone was smiling. I heard someone whisper, “She is a little diplomat already.” And I wondered what they meant.

  And then the band was playing and everyone except the King stood up; and I felt very pleased and wondered whether Mama would say I had made the right choice.

  The King evidently thought so for he suddenly took my hand and pressed it in a way to imply that we were very good friends indeed.

  The next day there was a visit to the zoo which the King had established at Sandpit Gate.

  It was a very exciting day and one of the reasons why it was so enjoyable was that Mama did not come. She had not been invited to join the party and I fancied that the King knew I should be glad to escape from her critical eyes. I was very perceptive in some ways and I had quickly gathered that although he liked me—and Feodore perhaps even more— he disliked Mama and he was of such a nature—as were all his brothers— to let her know it if the opportunity arose.

  So it was a most exciting day looking at the strange animals—zebras, gazelles, and such as I had never seen before.

  When I was united with Mama I had to answer endless questions. Who had been there? What had been said? It went on and on but I was still living in that delightful memory of having had such a wonderful day without being watched all the time.

  The day after that Mama and I, with Lehzen, were walking toward Virginia Water when we heard the sound of wheels on the road. Mama took my hand and drew me to the side of the road and we waited while a very splendid phaeton came toward us. I had never seen a carriage driven so fast, but as it approached it drew up.

  Seated there, with my Aunt Mary, was the King.

  He stopped and said it was a fine day. Then he looked at me and gave me that amused smile.

  “Pop her in,” he said, and a postilion in silver and blue livery leaped down and put me into the phaeton between the King and Aunt Mary.

  “Drive on,” cried the King; and we drove off leaving Mama and Lehzen standing on the side of the road, looking not only angry but rather frightened. I do believe Mama thought the King was kidnapping me. The King was laughing. I think he was rather pleased to see Mama's dismay.

  I was a little disturbed but I quickly forgot it because it was so exhilarating driving along in the phaeton at a greater speed than I had ever known before.

  “How do you like this?” cried the King, taking my hand in his.

  “It is lovely,” I shouted. I suddenly realized that I could shout as much as I liked and I could do and say just what came into my head. In addition to this wonderful ride I was free of Mama's supervision.

  The King talked to me all the time and Aunt Mary now and then said something, and she was smiling as though she liked me very much.

  The King asked me questions and I told him I loved riding on my dear pony Rosy. She could really go very fast when she wanted to, but sometimes she had to be coaxed a little. I told him about the lessons I had to do and how I hated arithmetic and liked history because my governess, Baroness Lehzen, made that very interesting.

  He listened with the utmost sympathy and I confided that what I liked best was dancing and singing.

  He was not a bit like a king. When he talked of certain people he changed his face and way of talking. He was very good at imitating people and some of them I recognized.

  I said, “I had never thought that talking to a king could be like this.”

  “Ah,” he said, “many people speak ill of kings and it is harder for them than most people to win real affection. If they do one thing which pleases some, it displeases others … so there is no way of pleasing everybody all the time.”

  I pondered this and said that if one were good, God would be pleased so everyone must be pleased too.

  “Except the devil,” he suggested. “He likes sinners, you know. So I am right, am I not?”

  “But of course you are right because…”

  “Because I am the King?”

  “No …” I said judiciously, “because you are right.”

  Aunt Mary laughed and said we should go to Virginia Water as it was a lovely drive.

  We went to the King's fishing temple where we left the phaeton and went into a barge. Several important people were there. The King presented me to them and they showed me a great deal of respect. One of them was the Duke of Wellington about whom Lehzen had told me a great deal. He was the hero of Waterloo who had played such an important part in our history. He was a very great man, but I did not like him very much. He was rather haughty and I believed was trying to remind everyone of his importance. I supposed that as Waterloo had happened nearly ten years before, he thought they were beginning to forget it and the memory must be constantly revived. He was not so very tall and rather thin, with a hooklike nose and eyes that seemed to look right through one—which made me rather uncomfortable. The King seemed to like him very much—at least to respect him. I supposed because of Waterloo.

  There was music and the band played “God Save the King” while I clasped my hands and looked up with affection at my uncle, who noticed this and gave me a very pleasant smile.

  But all good things must come to an end and I was taken back to Cumberland Lodge where Mama was waiting for me.

  What an interrogation there was! “What did the King say?” “And what did you reply to that?” “And then?” “And then…?” With here and there Mama clicking her tongue. “You shouldn't have said that. You should have said this…or this…”

  “But Mama,” I insisted. “I think the King liked me to say what I meant.”

  “He wanted to know exactly what was going on. He wanted to trap you.”

  “Oh no, Mama. He just wanted me to laugh and enjoy it.”

  She shook her head at me. “You are very young, Victoria,” she said.

  “But I am getting older. No one stays young forever.”

  “You do not listen enough. You are too anxious to say what you think.”

  “But, Mama, how can I say what anyone else thinks?”

  She turned away and suddenly I felt sorry for her. It was odd to feel sorry for Mama when everyone in our household obeyed her…well perhaps not all. Perhaps not Sir John Conroy and it might well be that sometimes she obeyed him.

  The time came when the visit to Windsor was at an end and we must return to Kensington. The King asked them to lift me onto his knee when he said goodbye. He told me how much he had enjoyed my visit and hoped I had too.

  “Oh yes, indeed I have,” I said. “It has been particularly wonderful because I had been afraid that it might not be.”

  “Why were you afraid?”

  “One is afraid of kings.”

  “Because of what one has been led to expect?”

  “Yes, because of that.”

  “And I was not such an ogre after all? In fact I think you and I liked each other rather well.”

  “Well, I liked you, Uncle King, and I think you liked me too because you gave me such a wonderful time… besides the picture.”

  He smiled and said, “Tell me what you liked best of your stay.”

  I hesitated for a moment and then I said, “I liked so many things but I think the best was when you said ‘Pop her in' and we galloped off in the phaeton.”

  “Did I say that?”

  “Yes. ‘Pop her in.' ”

  “It was not really kingly language, was it? But perhaps it was pardonable between an uncle and his niece…even though she is a princess and he a king. And that was what you liked best.”

  I nodded.

  “You
are a dear little girl,” he said. “I trust you will always have the sweet nature you have today, and that events… and those about you… will not succeed in changing you.”

  Then I said goodbye and he kissed me again.

  I was almost in tears at the thought of leaving him and he was very sad.

  Mama wanted to know exactly what he had said and what I had replied. I told her and added, “I think the King must be one of the nicest gentlemen in the world.”

  That did not please her, but that visit to the King had changed me a little. I had the impression that it was sometimes better for me to say what I meant rather than what I was expected to say.

  The King had thought so in any case.

  But there was so much I did not understand. Mama was right when she said I was so young; and quite often I did feel as though I were floundering in the dark.

  But I did know that the visit had made Mama very uneasy—not only about me, but about Feodore too.

  * * *

  LIFE SEEMED DULL after the visit to Windsor. There were so many lessons and far too few holidays. If I complained Lehzen told me that it was my duty to acquire knowledge. A princess must not be an ignoramus.

  “But there is so much to learn!” I cried.

  “Of course there is,” retorted Lehzen. “We all go on learning all our lives.”

  “What a dreadful prospect!” I cried. At which she laughed and said that there was little to be compared with the joy of learning.

  I wanted to dispute that and say that I knew of many more pleasant things, but Lehzen brought forth her favorite argument. “You are too young to know. In time you will realize.”

  And as I was young I could not really say this was not so. But I used to long to escape from the schoolroom. Then I would find Feodore and during the lovely summer days we would go into the gardens where I liked to water the plants. I had a very special watering can and I loved to watch the water spray out so prettily. I used to get my feet wet and Feodore would smuggle me in and Baroness Spath—whom I loved dearly because she was quite indiscreet and very kind—would put me into dry stockings, shoes, and gown, and there would be the added excitement because neither Mama nor Lehzen must know. That was imperative because if they did, the watering would be forbidden.