He raised his eyebrows. “Have you?”
“What—you don’t believe me?”
“You just don’t seem to be the type to give up on love.”
“Oh, but I have. I’ve given up on love way harder than you ever could.”
“Wait a minute,” he said. “Has this become a contest, Kat? Are we having a contest to see which of us believes in love the least?”
She laughed. “Yes. We’re having a contest to see who is the saddest and unluckiest in love, because that might be the only way to cheer ourselves up. So tell me if you can top this: my fiancé left me just three days before our wedding.”
“Hmm...” he mused. “That is going to be hard to beat. But I think I can.”
“I don’t know... I think when it comes to sad love stories, getting jilted three days before your wedding is going to win every time.”
“How about this? My fiancée left me for my brother.”
Jack didn’t know why he was telling her this. He never talked about Sophie with anyone. But talking to Kat felt so easy.
She stopped laughing and grew quiet.
“It’s all right,” he said. “It was a long time ago.”
“What happened to her?”
“She lives in Nebraska now. She’s a doctor too.”
He wasn’t sure he was ready for this after all. He flipped the pages of one of Kat’s workbooks, which seemed to contain very specific instructions on how to achieve a relaxed state.
“You know, I’m not sure you’re doing this right,” he said.
“Excuse me?” she said. “Is there a wrong way to relax?”
“I’m just not sure relaxing is something you can learn from a book,” he said. “I mean, doesn’t it seem like what you’re doing is the exact opposite of what you’re trying to learn?”
She bristled. “What are you talking about?”
He picked up the color-coded document that Kat had printed out, which outlined each major school of thought on meditation and Kat’s views on their various pros and cons.
“You’re meant to be trying to learn how to live in the moment, but you’re doing it exactly the way you’ve always done things: by planning, organizing, and obsessively studying everything there is to know about relaxing. You’re practically getting yourself another doctorate in relaxation.”
She snatched the document from him. “That may be the case, but this is the only way I’ve ever been able to learn anything. I got though medical school by throwing myself at my books and studying longer and harder than anyone else.”
“Yeah, but you’re not in medical school anymore. You’re trying to enjoy life—not study it.”
“Then what do you think I should do, if you’re so certain all my workbooks aren’t going to help?”
He considered for a moment. “So much of your life is about taking care of other people,” he said. “You need some excitement that’s focused on you, not someone else. You need something that gives you a thrill.”
“A thrill?” She looked doubtful. “That goes against everything I’m reading here. All the exercises in these books are about slowing down and focusing on the present moment.”
“Nothing gets you focused on the present like an adrenaline rush.”
He warmed to his theme. Every time he jumped out of a helicopter to reach a patient in a remote or inaccessible area, every time he resuscitated a patient from cardiac arrest, or delivered a baby on the way to the hospital, he was completely caught up in the present moment.
“Think about it,” he said. “When do you feel the most calm, the most confident?”
“Hmm...” she said slowly. “Probably those moments in the ER when we’re slammed with trauma cases.”
“Exactly,” said Jack. “It’s the same for me. You get totally lost in the moment. You forget about any of your own worries and problems and just focus on what’s in front of you.”
“Okay,” she said thoughtfully. “You might be on to something. But I can’t just spend my entire life in the ER. That kind of defeats the purpose of learning how to relax when I’m not at work.”
He shook his head. “You don’t have to spend your life in the ER.”
“Then what?”
“It could be anything,” he said. “Something that feeds your sense of adventure. Something new...something exciting. Something crazy and out of the box. Hiking, surfing, cliff jumping...”
“Cliff jumping?”
“Hurtling yourself off a cliff into the ocean is a great way to gain mental clarity. You’re never as certain of what you want in your life as you are when you’re falling through the air.”
“Um...because you’re facing death?”
“Facing death? Absolutely not.” Then, before he could stop himself, “I’ll take you. We’ll only jump in places where I know exactly how deep the water is and what the rocks are like underneath. Safety first. Safety is what makes it exciting instead of terrifying.”
Wait a minute. You’re supposed to be trying to spend less time with her—not more. The second this quarantine is lifted you’re out of here, remember? Whether that’s ten hours or ten days from now.
But she was already smiling back at him. “Spoken like a true paramedic,” she said.
At the sight of her smile he could feel his resolve to keep his distance slipping away. He needed to regroup.
“Well,” he said, “when we get out of here maybe a group of us can go. The two of us and Marceline, Kimo...”
He saw something change in her eyes. Was it disappointment? Or relief?
“Sure,” she said. “What better way to bond than over dangerous, death-defying stunts?”
“Not dangerous—exciting,” he said. “I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”
She gave him another small smile, making her face glow. “I’m starting to believe that’s true. But, since the two of us are stuck in here for now, would you happen to have any ideas about what kind of exciting thrills we could enjoy in a five-hundred-square-foot, poorly lit, windowless room?”
Jack didn’t dare voice the first suggestion that came to mind. Or the second. Or the third.
Instead, he simply said, “I play a mean Gin Rummy, if that’s the kind of thrill you have in mind?”
* * *
A few hour later Kat lay on her gurney, trying unsuccessfully to sleep.
She kept replaying that conversation with Jack in her head. For one moment she’d almost thought he was suggesting they go on a date. But that was stupid. What had he ever done that would even remotely have given her that impression?
He’d simply meant to help her as a friend. He’d been watching her try to relax and he’d actually come up with a pretty good idea. How had she never thought of it before? Jack had been absolutely right to notice that she felt the most like herself when she was caught up in life-or-death situations. It was one reason she loved her ER shifts so much. The intensity of getting a patient’s heart going again, or rushing to alleviate a trauma survivor’s pain, was thrilling for her.
Cliff jumping.
As crazy as it sounded, Kat couldn’t stop thinking about it. Hadn’t her entire decision to come to Hawaii been one giant, impulsive leap into the unknown? After making such a huge change to her life, jumping off a cliff might almost feel easy in comparison.
It had been kind of Jack to offer to take her. Although he’d been eager to clarify that he was only suggesting they go as friends. And he’d been so adamant in asserting that she wouldn’t come to any harm. He’d seemed almost fierce in his protectiveness of her.
But that was probably because he was a responsible person. He’d be protective of any friend he was with.
So why couldn’t she sleep? Why was she just lying here, feeling disappointment settle into her stomach over and over again?
She thought about whe
n he’d told her he didn’t believe in love. She’d said the same to him. But did he really mean that? And what if he did? Why should it matter to her?
Suddenly Kat couldn’t stand it for a moment longer. She was done with being in quarantine.
She sat straight up on her gurney and threw off her blankets.
This ends now, she thought. I’m not staying here another minute longer than I absolutely have to.
She had a plan, and she had no doubt that Jack would agree with it. After all, it was what a good friend would do.
* * *
Several feet away, Jack was failing to get any sleep as well. He glared at the privacy curtain that surrounded his gurney. Why the hell did it have to be so thin?
To his surprise, he saw it was rustling. And then Kat appeared in front of him.
“Hey...” Her voice was low, husky. “Can we talk for a sec?”
“What is it?” he asked as she stood in front of him in a pair of pink silk pajamas.
He didn’t want to admit just how much he’d allowed this very scene to creep into his wildest fantasies—fantasies he’d been trying to push out of his mind since the moment they’d been put into quarantine together. The ridiculous idea that she’d slip into his enclosure, gaze into his eyes, and say something like...
“We need to take our clothes off.”
Jack looked at her in disbelief, uncertain of how to take in what he’d just heard. “We need to what?” he said.
“Strip,” she replied matter-of-factly. “I don’t know about you, but I can’t take it in here for another minute—and I’m sure as hell not spending the next ten days here. All my research with the experts from the university has indicated that patients with the super-flu virus become symptomatic within the first twelve hours of exposure. Neither of us has shown even the slightest sign of having contracted the virus. So here’s what we’re going to do. You’ll examine me, I’ll examine you, and once we’ve confirmed that there’s absolutely no sign of the illness in either of us we’ll call Selena. After all, I’m the one who’s been studying this illness more than anyone on staff. I think I should be qualified to tell whether the two of us have been infected or not.”
Jack noticed that Kat was shaking. Was she really so desperate to get out of here? He wondered if she was starting to get claustrophobic in the cramped space. Or maybe she just wanted to get away from him.
“If this is about needing to get some space, I’m sure we can tell Selena that we’ve changed our minds and want separate rooms,” Jack said.
“That won’t work. The hospital’s at capacity. But that actually works in our favor. If we can convince her that we’re showing no signs of the virus right now, it means one more free room in the hospital.”
Jack considered this. Compared to the prospects of limited entertainment, uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, and hospital food, the thought of getting out of here was tempting.
The problem was, the idea of a naked Kat in front of him was pretty tempting, too.
The pajamas that Kat wore were pretty thin. He could see the curve of her hip underneath her pajama top. The silk shorts revealed long, slender legs.
He decided to try reasoning with her on a professional level.
“If this is about you being afraid of having contracted the flu, I wouldn’t worry too much,” he said. “The chances are extremely low. They’ve just got us quarantined in here out of an abundance of precaution. I know it’s a hassle, but it’s the appropriate procedure to follow.”
“It’s not that,” said Kat. “I doubt either one of us actually has the flu. I just have to get out of here.”
Jack was trying to muster his better self. In all the ways he had pictured the two of them together—and despite himself, despite every rational thought, he had been picturing it—he had never imagined it like this: him and Kat quarantined together in an isolated hospital room, surrounded by medical supplies.
To make matters worse, her request meant that she clearly thought of him as nothing more than a friend. She’d never ask such a thing of him if she had the slightest inkling of his feelings for her—or if she had any feelings for him.
He made a last weak attempt to do the right thing. “Wouldn’t you rather wait until morning?” he said. “The blood test results might not take much longer—maybe the infectious disease team will have some good news for us by then.”
“I can’t wait until morning,” said Kat. “I can’t wait another minute.”
She hastily began to unbutton her pajama top.
It was too much for Jack.
“Hold on,” he said, putting his hands over hers. He could feel her trembling, just as she had been in the water when they’d first met. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
She gritted her teeth and grabbed his T-shirt. “Jack. We are getting out of here. Tonight.”
There was no arguing with the determination in her voice. Or her eyes. Jack had a feeling that no one crossed Kat when she was in this kind of mood.
The authority in her voice was intimidating.
Her eyes burned into him.
He took a deep breath. His only hope was to remain as professional as possible. He didn’t know how he was going to handle seeing Kat naked. He had been trying so hard to avoid thinking about her body...and now it was going to appear right in front of him. Only not in the way he’d fantasized about. The only way he was going to get through this was by putting as much professional distance between himself and Kat as possible.
“All right,” he said. “If we’re going to do this, we’re going to be professional about it.”
“Agreed,” she replied. “Let’s get the lights on.”
Jack flipped a switch and harsh fluorescent lighting flooded the room.
Perfect. The least romantic lighting possible in one of the most sterile rooms imaginable. This is about as unsexy as it gets, and that’s exactly how it needs to be right now.
He pulled a coin from the nightstand next to his gurney. “Flip to see who gets examined first?” he said.
“Don’t bother. I’ll go first,” she said.
* * *
I hope you know what you’re doing, Kat thought to herself.
She was certain that if she could prove that neither she nor Jack were showing any sign of the virus then she’d be able to convince Selena to let them leave this room. Then she wouldn’t have to deal with this tantalizing closeness any more.
It had seemed like a great idea just a few minutes ago.
Now, in the harsh reality of the fluorescent overhead lighting, she was having second thoughts.
But she and Jack were both medical professionals. Surely they could be professional about this? They’d do a thorough examination of one another and then they’d be able to go home. As a doctor, Kat had long ago set aside any sense of squeamishness about undergoing or conducting examinations. This was simply what needed to be done—for the sake of her well-being and Jack’s.
She couldn’t stand waiting for the blood test results for another minute. She was at her absolute limit. She needed to get away from Jack as soon as possible. Seeing him naked might be a bit overwhelming, but only for a few moments. She could withstand a few moments of being close to him if it meant that she would be on her way home after it was over.
Her fingers shook so much that she kept fumbling the buttons of her pajama top.
“Here,” he said. “Let me help.”
He briskly undid the remaining silk buttons of her top, one by one. The top fell open, revealing the inner curves of her breasts. She kept her eyes locked with Jack’s as he slipped the top from her shoulders and it fell to the floor with the quiet rustle of crumpling silk.
He cleared his throat and then, in a clipped, professional voice, said, “Let’s start from the top.”
Jack cupped her face, palpating her jawline.
“I’ll need you to come a little closer so I can see your scalp,” he said.
She stepped forward, only inches away from him. She couldn’t stop herself from breathing in deeply. This close, his scent was intoxicating. She could barely stand. But Jack was pulling her inward, looking through her hair for any sign of the flu rash on the skin of her scalp and the back of her neck.
She tried to remain perfectly still. She didn’t want to make the situation any more uncomfortable than it had to be. She was the one who’d asked for this, she reminded herself. And she was probably the last person that Jack was interested in seeing naked. He was doing her a favor. The least she could do was be professional about it.
After a few moments Jack stepped away from her. “Everything up top looks good,” he said. “Let’s take a look at the rest of you.”
Was it just her imagination or had his voice seemed to break just a little at the end? Was he nervous? Kat couldn’t think why he would be. He’d made it clear that at the very most he was only interested in her friendship. Examining her naked body was probably, for him, just the same as it would be when he examined any other patient.
He placed both his hands on her shoulders and ran them down her arms, feeling for any inconsistencies in her skin. Then he turned her around and ran his hands lightly over her back. His hands felt rough—rough enough to have a texture, but not too much. She could tell he used them often, both for hard work and as sensitive instruments. They were hands that could rescue a drowning swimmer or pound a heart back to life.
Her own heart was pounding pretty hard. She couldn’t help but give a small shiver.
“Sorry,” he said, instantly attentive. “Are you cold?”
“N-no. I’m fine,” she managed to stammer.
His hands moved faster now. Over her back and arms, rubbing her skin as though he were trying to warm her up. He turned Kat’s body so that she was facing him again, and brought one of his hands up to touch her breast.
From Hawaii to Forever Page 8
