Raiden's Choice (A Ravens MC Novel Book 1)

by J. L. Leslie

  “I don’t need to fucking cool off!” I yell and Raiden crosses her arms, not saying a word. “Is there any truth to what he said?”

  “What do you think?” she asks.

  “I think my brother is laid up in a hospital bed and I don’t have any answers anymore.” I breathe out. “Your fucking boyfriend has my nuts nailed to a wall and so does your damn father!”

  Raiden glances to the door and I know she’s afraid someone might’ve heard me. At this point, I don’t give a shit. Not after seeing Linc.

  “I’m sorry, Luka, I don’t have the answers either.” she says, quietly. “I need to go check on Lincoln and get...”

  “Let me guess, get to Griffin.” I finish her sentence for her.

  “My shift ended a while ago.” she confirms without saying the words. She walks to the door and pauses before she opens it. “I wish it didn’t have to be like this, Luka.”

  I let out laugh and shake my head. “It doesn’t.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  ~Raiden~

  Lincoln’s vitals are stable and he’s resting soundly as I exit his room. The Rykers are still standing guard in the hallway, but now hospital security is posted with them. I have no clue where the prison security was when Luka attacked Cal, but now they’re back as well. I’m certain they’ll say they went on a coffee or bathroom break even though they were not supposed to leave Lincoln’s door and certainly not at the same time. No doubt, Cal has them on his payroll.

  “I think I need a band-aid.” Cal smirks and I ignore him. “I’m feeling a little faint.”

  I step past him and he makes a big scene pretending to fall against the wall. Overdramatic prick. Michelle looks up from the nurse’s station and can’t tell if she’s concerned or amused. She’s quick to bring a chair over and instruct Cal to take a seat if he’s feeling faint.

  “Raiden, why don’t you check his vitals while I bring him a glass of water.” she suggests, a hint of sarcasm to her tone. “We can’t have visitors passing out in the hallway.”

  I glare at Cal as I kneel in front of him and position my stethoscope on his chest. “Take a deep breath and breathe out slowly.” I instruct.

  He breathes against my face and I smell the alcohol on his breath. He licks his lips and his heart rate increases. One large hand encircles my wrist where my fingers hold the diaphragm to his skin. I attempt to pull my hand away, but he tightens his hold. With my free hand, I pull the eartips out of my ears.

  “We were so good together before.” he whispers, a hint of sincerity in his voice.

  I know he’s playing me and I don’t buy into it. Not for a second. I’m not fifteen anymore. I believed him once. I won’t do that again. I know what type of person he is now.

  “Would you like a band-aid for your neck?” I ask, attempting again to wrench my hand from his grasp.

  “Your skin is so soft, Raiden.” he comments. “Do you still touch yourself? Remember when I taught you to do that? You were so shy at first, but then you teased that sweet, pink pussy for me.”

  “Sorry it took so long with the water.” Michelle announces as she rounds the corner. “One of the machines was out.”

  I stand and this time Cal let’s go of my hand. He thanks Michelle for the water, but doesn’t take his green eyes off me as he empties the cup. Michelle takes the empty cup and walks away as if she’s oblivious to the entire situation. Either that, or she’s trying to play fucking matchmaker.

  I pull a band-aid out of my pocket along with an alcohol prep pad. Cal stands and lifts his chin a little. I clean his wound with the prep pad first and then apply the band-aid. As I’m pressing the band-aid over it, I dig my thumb into his windpipe and try not to smile when his eyes bulge and his face reddens.

  I lean in close to his ear and whisper, “I’m sure you’d love to see what I do to this sweet, pink pussy now, motherfucker. Don’t ever fucking touch me again.”

  I release him and he coughs and rubs his neck. A smile plays at his lips, but I walk away before he can say a word. I go to Michelle and let her know that I’m heading out. I’ve stayed past my shift long enough.

  As I head towards the exit, I see Luka leaving the on-call room. I assume he’s cooled off enough to go back to Lincoln’s room. I know as he walks past me without speaking that I meant every word I said. I do wish that it didn’t have to be like this. I also know that he meant every word he said. It doesn’t.

  ~Luka~

  I cringe at the pain in my neck as I shift positions in the hospital chair. I don’t want to open my eyes, but I know that I’m awake now and I won’t be going back to sleep. I sit up and look towards the hospital bed. Lincoln is awake. His dark, blue eyes gaze up at the ceiling.

  “Lincoln.” I say his name as I stand and approach his bed. He closes his eyes when I take his hand. “Brother.”

  “Stop.” he chokes out. He coughs and winces in pain, causing his monitors to sound an alarm.

  I step back as a nurse enters the room. She checks his vitals and he calms down. She also checks his bandages, which seem to be fine. He points to a pitcher of water on the table by the bed and she pours him a small cup before she leaves. I notice him checking her out as she walks away.

  “You are in no condition for any of that.” I joke, trying to lighten his mood.

  “I need you to leave, Luka.” he states. “You’re not welcome here.”

  I look down at my brother, my own flesh and blood, and my heart bleeds. He is my family. He is my brotherhood. No one else. Now he’s telling me I’m not welcome.

  “You don’t mean that, Linc.” I tell him, but he snatches his hand from my grasp.

  “Do you have any idea what happened to me?” he asks, his eyes hardening.

  I stare down at him, at the dark, blue of his eyes, and remember him questioning my father about why our eyes weren’t the same color when he was seven years old. He’d complained to our dad that I couldn’t be his real brother because my eyes weren’t the same as his. He’d cried and I’d called him a titty-baby. Then I’d listened to my dad explain that Linc had our mom’s eyes and they were the prettiest blue in the world. Then I’d cried.

  Now those same eyes look dark and cold. Soulless.

  “You are not welcome here, Luka.” he grits out. “You are a Raven and because of that…you are not my brother anymore.”

  I cross my arms and refuse to move. A mix of emotions roll through me. Anger, frustration, sadness.

  “I became a Raven to get you out.” I state. “Because your so-called brothers sold you out.”

  “At least when I’m with those brothers, I’m not living in anyone’s shadow.” he says, quietly.

  “Oh, that makes them your brothers, huh? They’ve obviously been taking such good care of you!”

  “Yeah?” he grits out. “Well, your so-called brothers did this to me, so fuck you.”

  “That’s not true.” I defend without hesitation.

  “Fuck you!” he screams. “The Ravens came into the showers and fucking shanked me, Luka!” he yells and begins pulling at his hospital gown to reveal the bandages on his chest and sides. “They fucked me up the ass!” Lincoln snatches at his IV despite me yelling for him to stop. “Is that what you want to fucking hear? Your brothers did that to me!”

  I grab Linc’s arms, but the IVs are already pulled out. Blood is seeping through one of his bandages and alarms are going off on the monitors.

  “Please, brother.” I beg.

  “Sir, we need you to step back.” I hear the nurse, but didn’t even realize anyone had come in the room.

  I let Linc go and two nurses step around me to assess him. They help him lie back on the bed and immediately begin redressing his bandage.

  “I need you to leave.” his says, his voice solemn. “And I don’t want you to come back.”

  I don’t nod or give him any inclination that I agree to his demand other than exiting the room. He’s my brother and I refuse to give up on him.

  Once th
e door closes behind me, the Rykers standing outside look in my direction. I’m sure they expect me to hold a knife to their president’s throat again. Cal sits in a chair with the blonde I saw him with before nestled in his lap.

  “You can let Dax know this deed won’t go unpunished.” he informs me.

  The blonde in his lap stares up at me with a blank expression on her face and I wonder what type of woman could ever be with someone like Cal Harrison.

  When I walk out of the hospital, I take a breath. I don’t want to let the stress of everything hit me right now so I’ll deal with it later. I climb on my bike and my phone rings before I can crank it up. Dad.

  “You mind telling me what the hell is going on, son?” he questions the moment I answer.

  “Nothing I can’t handle.”

  “Then why am I on my way to the hospital?” he throws out.

  I should have known that this would get back to him. His shop is one of the busiest in town and people like to talk.

  “Lincoln is going to be okay.” I assure him.

  “You boys and them damn motorcycles. I warned the both of you when you got them that they’d be nothing, but trouble.” he rants. “Don’t you remember what happened to Haley?”

  “As if I could forget.” I remind him. “I was there, remember?”

  “Then you of all people should know that getting involved in this motorcycle shit is not the right thing to do.”

  “Trust me, dad, I know. Right now, it’s the only way.” I admit and hang up.

  The last thing I need is a lecture. I know what happened to Haley and I know I wasn’t able to save her. If her brother hadn’t stolen from the Drycos, she’d still be alive. They took his theft very personally since he was a member. Who knows where his body is.

  I start my bike and as much as I hate to admit it, I go to the only place I’m starting to feel resembles home. The clubhouse. It’s still fairly early so those that aren’t out patrolling are sleeping, except for Jones and Shane who are in the shop.

  Instead of going to Dax’s office door, I knock on his bedroom door and hear him yell for me to go away. A female giggle follows. I knock again, ignoring his command. This time the door opens and a naked redhead walks out with a pissed off scowl on her face.

  “Sorry.” I mumble.

  “Fuck off.” she hisses.

  Dax stands up from the bed and pulls a pair of jeans on. He doesn’t look very happy that I interrupted him. Probably because I’m usually the one interrupting him. He’s getting tired of me.

  “You know, meetings are typically held in my office. Not my fucking bedroom.” he gripes.

  “I apologize.” I start. “My brother was attacked last night. He blames the Ravens and Cal made a comment about what we did not going unpunished.”

  “Hmm.” he muses. “Sorry about your brother. The Rykers do some fucked up shit to their own.”

  “I’m learning that. So, what’s the plan?” I ask.

  Dax smiles and laughs. “We’re going to have a fucking party tonight.”

  Chapter Twenty

  ~Raiden~

  I can tell by the way Griffin is shuffling through the clothes in his closet that he’s trying to wake me up. Plus, he left the bedside lamp on. He never leaves the lamp on when I’ve worked nights and stay over. He knows I need to sleep. Today though, he’s annoyed that I got here so late last night, long after my shift was over, that he’s trying to wake me up so I’ll talk to him about it. I’m lying here with my eyes closed pretending to still be asleep.

  Griffin sits down on the edge of the bed, the side that I’m lying on, and pulls his shirt on. He’s moving around so much that it’s ridiculous.

  “Can you turn the lamp off?” I ask, finally giving in to his antics.

  “Oh, baby, did I wake you?” he questions, faking concern. “You came in pretty late last night. Must’ve been a busy night at the hospital.”

  “Yes.”

  I’m hoping my short answer will get him off my case. I’m tired and just want to sleep. Surely he can understand that.

  “Did someone call in or something?”

  “Nope.”

  “Well, why’d you have to stay past your shift?” he asks. “Weren’t you supposed to get off at ten o’clock?”

  I open my eyes and peer up at him, squinting a little from the light. “I was in surgery when my shift ended. I stayed until the patient was stable.” I explain.

  “Isn’t that the doctor’s job? I mean, you’re just a nurse.”

  This comment really bugs me. Just a nurse. “Griffin, I’m tired and I’m not going to do this with you right now.”

  “I’m just trying to understand why you have trouble leaving the hospital when your shift is over, Raiden. I get that you were in surgery, but when you got finished, you should have left.”

  “I have a job to do.” I sigh and turn over so that my back is to him and to the light he rudely left on.

  I feel the bed lift as he stands and the bedroom goes dark. “I’m so glad your job is so fucking important to you. Maybe you’ll get nurse of the fucking year.”

  The door slams and I’ll admit, I’m stunned by his comment. We rarely ever argue or disagree about anything. He certainly never says things like this. It makes me wonder if he knows who I was treating. Not that it matters. I would’ve stayed for any patient. He should know that.

  I lie in his bed and for a moment, I think this could be it. This could be my way out. I only need one argument. One big blow up to end things, right? But then what would the Ravens do? How will they know when a bust is coming? How will they know who the DEA is watching? How will they know which prospects are worth investing in?

  I wrestle with these thoughts for a long time, going back and forth, and in the end the rational side of me wins out. Of course, I knew it would. The Ravens come first. They always have and they always will and that is not changing. It’s who I am.

  I get out of Griffin’s bed, shower, and dress in a pair of stark white scrubs. I’m still tired, still worn out, but I have to be at work soon and I know what I have to do.

  I eat a sandwich before I leave Griffin’s house and then I drive over to the courthouse. I talk with Beverly a few minutes, the usual pleasantries, and then head into Griffin’s office. He’s already finished with the docket call for today. He looks up when I walk in and then looks back down. He’s still pissed.

  “I’m busy, Raiden.”

  “I just wanted to see you before I went to work.” I tell him.

  “Really? Now you want to see me?” he scoffs, never taking his eyes off his file.

  I come around his desk and stand beside him. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have stayed so long last night knowing you were waiting for me. I was just worried about my patient. I just get too personal with them and I need to remember…I’m just a nurse.”

  That last part killed me. There’s no such thing as being “just” a nurse. Fucker.

  I see Griffin’s shoulders soften and relax. He leans back in his chair. “Baby, you can’t take on all that responsibility. You’re going to wear yourself out. You have bags under your eyes right now.”

  “Someone wouldn’t let me sleep.” I smile, softly.

  He smiles back and pulls me down to his lap. “Let me make that up to you.”

  And just like that, the moment I could have chosen to end this façade is over. Slipped right through my fingertips. Griffin has stood me up and is easing my scrubs and panties down my thighs. I hear his zipper as he releases his cock.

  As I ease down, impaling myself on him, I’m glad my back is to him. I don’t need him to see my eyes and how full of regret they are.

  ~Luka~

  The last place I want to be is a fucking party. I want to be by my brother’s side. Scratch that, I want him to want me to be by his side. That’s just not going to happen right now. So I’m here at the clubhouse listening to Jay-Z and watching a wet t-shirt contest. I’m also wearing my new cut. I’m officially a Raven.


  The new prospects, Oscar, Hugh, Matt, and Reid are doing the same thing I did at my first Ravens’ party. I’ll admit, it feels good to be on the other side of the bar tonight.

  Hayes walks up, a big, goofy grin on his face. “You want in?” he asks, and I cock an eyebrow at him. “Ashley is going to suck two dicks at once and see who cums first.”

  I laugh and shake my head. “I’m good.”

  “Niles and I are up first. Twenty bucks says he goes first.” Hayes grins and then slaps my back as he walks off to where the crowd is gathering.

  I decide I’d rather not see Ashley sucking off Niles and Hayes so I step outside. I can hear them cheering her on as I consider hopping on my bike and taking off. I could just ride for a few hours and then go back to my apartment.

  I won’t tempt myself into go by Raiden’s or to the hospital. Chances are, she’s working anyway. Seeing her won’t make me feel any better. I’ll just be reminded that Linc doesn’t want to see me and that she wants to, but feels that she can’t.

  I hear the door open and Dax saunters out. “You don’t want to see the double-dick-suck?” he laughs.

  “Nah. I could probably go my entire life without seeing that shit.” I grin.

  “Once you’ve seen one double-dick-suck, you’ve seen them all.” he says. “Victoria would be telling Ashley how she’ll never become an old lady by behaving like a whore.”

  I know Victoria was Raiden’s mom. I never hear Dax talk about her or even say her name, but I’ve seen her picture at Raiden’s house.

  “She definitely doesn’t leave anything to the imagination.” I confirm.

  “That’s for damn sure.”

  We hear loud cheering from inside and Dax laughs. “Sounds like someone won.”

  The moment the words are out of his mouth, a blast from the diner lights up the sky. Dax and I both take off running towards the flames and I can hear other members yelling as they exit the clubhouse. The diner was already closed since it’s after eleven, but still, it’s the diner.