“It’s going to be okay, Kitten. I promise.”
We drove in silence to my mom’s trailer, where the gloom inside worried me, since it was mid-morning and the sun was shining. But, I found her in her bed for once, passed out cold. With any luck, she’d be in the van and on her way before she woke up. No, that wouldn’t be right; she’d be so frightened if she woke up in a moving vehicle with two strange women. We needed to wake her up and tell her what was happening.
“Mom. Wake up, hon. It’s Charity.”
It took several minutes to make her stir, and I began to be afraid that this wasn’t just sleep but an alcohol-induced coma. Then Russ tried. Shaking her by the shoulders roughly, he barked, “Mrs. Brown, wake up!”
Her eyes flew open, and then squeezed tightly shut.
“Go ‘way, I’m sleepin’. Come ba’ later.”
“Mrs. Brown, you need to wake up. It’s Russ and I’m here with Charity. We need to talk to you.”
Gradually, with persuasion from me and bullying from Russ, who was good at it, we brought her to what we considered full consciousness, and along with it, full annoyance.
“Wha’ th’ fuck d’ya want from me? Char’ty I don’t like your boyfrien’. Tell ‘im to get out.”
“Mom, Russ is my fiancé. But that’s not why we’re here. You’re sick, mom, and someone’s coming to take you to a place where you can get well.”
Confusion flooded her face. “I’m no’ sick, jus’ drunk.”
“That’s just it, mom, you’re drunk, but you’ve been asleep for a long time. You shouldn’t still be drunk. You need to go to a clinic and get sober.”
If words could have done it, those would have. Her eyes widened in alarm and she sat up too quickly, then sank back with her arms spread out as if she were trying to catch her balance. “No, I’m no’ goin’ to any clinic.” She spat the last word out in disgust.
“Mom, you have to. I’m going with Russ, and you can’t take care of yourself. You’ll freeze here the next time they shut the power off. This place isn’t fit for pigs to live in. If you won’t do it for you, Mom, do it for me. You owe me.”
Russ was standing back, letting me handle my mom in the way I saw fit, but when she took a swing at me, he stepped in and caught her hand. She tried to hit him with the other.
“Mom!” I cried. But, Russ had it handled.
“Elizabeth,” he said with an even but firm tone, “we can do this one of two ways. You can listen to what Charity has to say and then go graciously when the EMTs get here, or I can carry you kicking and screaming out the door in a straitjacket. Which is it going to be?”
Mom gasped when he said straitjacket, and tears started flowing down her cheeks as she shook her head and started chanting, “No, no, no, please no.”
“No straitjacket?” Russ asked, more kindly.
“Not again, no, please.” Russ looked at me questioningly. I shrugged my shoulders. Mom hadn’t been sober enough to talk to me about the years after she’d sent me away, and I could see enough of the result to not want to know the details. Whatever had frightened her about straitjackets was her secret, but I could imagine. I tried again.
“Mom, two nice ladies are going to come and get you in an ambulance. They’re going to take you someplace where it’s nice and warm, even in the winter. And then, when you’re well, you can come and live with Russ and me. Won’t that be nice?”
She looked from Russ to me and back, her head tilted.
“That’s right,” Russ said. “Mrs. Brown, I’m going to marry Charity. She has some good news for you, something that will make you want to get well. Tell her, Charity.”
“Mom, I’m going to have a baby.”
Her mouth dropped open. “When?” she asked.
“I’m not sure, but I think next summer sometime. I’m about two, two and a half months along.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Mom, when have you been sober enough to hear me? I could have told you every day and you still wouldn’t know it.”
Even as my words betrayed my anger at her, my heart broke as I longed for the mom I remembered from before the divorce. Now anger at my father flooded in. How could he have done what he did, and destroyed my mom in the process? I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive him.
She dropped her head, crying. “I can’t help it, Charity. You don’t know what I’ve been through.”
Gathering my resolve, I put the emotion aside and stood firm. “I think I can guess, Mom, but that’s all over, now. We’re going to take care of you, and it starts with you going willingly to the clinic that Russ is being nice enough to pay for. They’ll treat you well, you’ll see.”
Mom just nodded, and Russ put his big hand on her shoulder to comfort her. A few minutes later, the knock came at the door.
It just about broke my heart to see my mom’s pleading face, tears streaming down her cheeks, as she looked back at me from between the two women who held her arms firmly. I blew her a kiss and nodded encouragingly, and then they were in the van and driving away. I slumped with relief. As grueling as the emotional confrontation had been, it was far better than Russ’s alternative scenario.
Russ pulled me up and asked if there was anything I wanted from the trailer. After a brief search of my mother’s room for any trinket she may have wanted as a keepsake, finding nothing, I told him we could go. We went to the park office, where Russ threw down the next month’s rent in cash and told the manager that she would do best to have that trailer hauled to the dump and burned. Then we left for the airport.
Chapter 15
Driving from the tiny Rawlins airport to the ranch was an adventure, as the typical Wyoming winter winds were in full force. I was more than happy to sit quietly as Russ concentrated on keeping the SUV on the road. It was dark by the time we reached home. Home, a word that hadn’t had much meaning for me before now. A rush of gratitude toward Russ made me throw my arms around him as soon as he had pulled to a halt. Whether he understood what it was for or not, he held me close and kissed me.
“Welcome home, Kitten.” It was so perfect that it brought tears to my eyes. Even more perfect was when he told me to stay put, came around to my side of the car and pulled me into his arms to carry me in, the same way he’d done the first time I ever saw this place. His strong arms cradled me, and mine circled his neck. As we burst in through the kitchen door, Janet stood beaming to greet us.
“Welcome home Miss Charity. How are you feeling?” I knew Russ had strongly hinted my condition when he asked her to research OBs, but didn’t expect her to confront the subject so quickly.
“I’m fine, Janet. Russ was just being silly, carrying me. I can walk just fine.”
“He was bringing his bride over the threshold, weren’t you, Mr. Russ?” she asked.
“Something like that,” he laughed. “I may make a habit of it. She’s a nice little armful.”
“Hey, I’m right here,” I protested.
“Are y’all hungry?” Janet asked, ever ready to feed someone. As a matter of fact, I was ravenous. It was long past dinner time in St. Louis, and my appetite was getting bigger every day.
“Starved,” I answered. Janet’s eyes traveled to my still-flat belly, then upward to my fuller breasts, and she nodded with evident satisfaction.
“We’ll take care o’ that, you sit down and rest.”
I could have protested that I’d been in a plane or a car all day and had enough of sitting, but it would have done no good. So I sat at the kitchen table while Russ went out for my luggage, now full of maternity clothes, and Janet whipped up a delicious meal of leftover vegetable-beef soup and homemade bread. Based on my previous sojourn in this house, I didn’t expect my belly to remain flat for long, pregnancy or no pregnancy. Russ and I both enjoyed a big bowl of soup and slice after slice of bread. When Janet asked if I had room for a brownie, I groaned. Brownies were my absolute favorite of her desserts, but I truly couldn’t have eaten another bite at the moment.
<
br /> “Later, I promise,” I said, to Russ’s amusement. He ate his brownie on the spot, topped with vanilla ice cream and accompanied by a big glass of milk, while I coveted every bite and every swallow.
Wondering where everyone was and why the house was so quiet, I sent Russ a silent question about it. Janet intercepted the look. “Miss Charity, Annalee, Celeste, Ciara, Janey and Amber are keeping the kids quiet for your homecoming. They all want to see you if you’re up to it.”
Up to it? Of course I was up to it! When would these idiots stop treating me like an invalid? I jumped from my chair, and said, “Where?”
“They’re in the home theater room,” she said. Not sure which wing of the house held that room, having only seen it once, I looked at Russ again.
“Come on,” he said, taking my hand. We found the five women and six toddlers watching an old Disney movie, and the kids were variously set crying or struck dumb as Russ turned on the lights and the girls rushed at me. Laughing, crying, hugging and exclaiming, we greeted each other like the old friends we were. Russ was comforting the children, some of whom clung to him in obvious adoration. I could see he’d been busy winning them over since I left.
“Girls,” he said now, in a firm tone. “Charity’s tired. There’ll be time enough to catch up later. Why don’t you finish watching the movie and then turn in?”
Accustomed as they were to obeying the orders of their men, they all gathered their children and resumed their seats without protest. A small shudder of misgiving passed through me as I wondered what they thought of this arrangement. Did they all think we were sister wives now? Over my dead body! I thought. I knew Russ wouldn’t have touched any of them. We may not have been well acquainted, but I knew to the very depths of my heart that he was faithful.
Cuddled in Russ’s arms in bed much later, I reflected on the journey that had brought me there. It was barely three months since Russ had pulled me, half frozen, from the ditch and brought me here. Three months since an unwary night of passion had sealed us together, and thank god for that. The month that I’d spent away from him had been the most miserable of my existence. I still didn’t understand love at first sight, but now I believed in it. Russ made me believe it.
I snuggled closer to my man, who was sleeping the sleep of the truly contented, sprawled on his back, his legs spread. Early in the morning, I’d wake him for another interlude like the one that had tranquilized him tonight. For now, I laid my hand gently on his slumbering manhood, and flung my leg over his nearest one. His only response was to tighten his arm around me in his sleep, but I was looking up at his face, and I’d swear a smile stole over it.
§
The few days before Christmas were a whirlwind. Russ was impatient to have me seen by a doctor, and managed somehow to get a highly qualified OB out to the ranch for a house call, all the way from Cheyenne. I liked her immediately, and was extra grateful to Janet for finding me a woman. Russ would have been less than pleased with a male doctor, I thought, and I was more comfortable with a woman anyway.
With her, Doctor Beth brought portable ultrasound equipment and an examination table that folded up, stirrups and all. She shooed Russ out of the room while she did the manual palpation to determine the state of my uterus. Grumbling that she wasn’t going anywhere he hadn’t been before, Russ left with poor grace. As soon as she was finished, she called him back in.
“Congratulations, Mr. White. You are going to be a dad, sometime next June.” His face wreathed in happy smiles, Russ pumped his fist and shouted, “Yes!” Then he asked the sex of the baby. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know, but as it turned out, the pictures were inconclusive. Dr. Beth said that usually meant girl, since a boy normally showed up pretty well. I smiled, and mouthed ‘I told you so’ at him. Russ’s face took on the tenderest look I’d ever seen on it, even in the aftermath of our lovemaking. “A little girl. Kitten, we’re having a little girl.”
“Come here,” I demanded. He came to my side and hugged me awkwardly. Dr. Beth tried to say that it was only a 60-40 chance, we’d know more next time, but both of us knew in our hearts that she’d called it right the first time. Russ thanked her profusely as she packed up.
“Mr. White, there is no reason in the world that your wife can’t travel for her appointments, at least for the next several months. I recommend you allow her some physical exercise. It will go easier on her when the time comes to deliver.”
“Whatever she feels like doing, I promise, she can do,” he answered.
“Can I ride the horses?” I asked.
Both of them turned to me with the intention of speaking. Russ got there first. “No!”
Dr. Beth looked at him, then at me. “Are you in the habit of riding?”
I had to admit I wasn’t. “Then I wouldn’t recommend you start now. Wait until after the baby is born to learn to ride, okay Mrs. White?”
“Okay.” I didn’t bother to correct her mistake. I’d be Mrs. White soon, at least I thought it would be soon.
After cleaning up, I found Russ in his office, catching up on some paperwork. “Russ, do you have time to talk with me about the wedding?”
“I thought we’d do that on our way over to my parents’ for dinner,” he said. “They’re going to want to know our plans, and I have just a few thoughts about it. Otherwise, you can have whatever kind of wedding you want, from a civil marriage down at the courthouse to the biggest wedding these parts have ever seen.”
“Oh,” I said, the possibilities opening up before me like I’d never dreamed of. “Okay. What shall I wear to your parents’?”
“Wear one of your new dresses, please?”
All of my new dresses were stretchy knit numbers, some with smocking at the waist to expand with the baby, others with empire waists. I knew what he was doing, but didn’t have the heart to argue with him. He wanted to show off, so be it, though my baby bump had yet to make an appearance. I went to dress in one with an empire waist, that being the broadest hint I’d be able to manage with my still-flat belly.
Russ’s parents were very gracious, and I felt immediately at home despite my apprehension of what they’d think of me. His mom, Eleanor, was a tall, slender woman with an elegant sense of style that carried over into her home’s decor. His dad, a shorter version of Russ, with hair that was turning silver over his ears. They had to have been in their fifties, but Jack was straight and still muscular, while Eleanor moved with the grace of a much younger woman, showing no trace of her age.
I couldn’t help comparing her wrinkle-free face with the harridan my own mother had become, and feeling sorry about it. Jack showed us into a family room and offered drinks. My eyes flew to Russ’s face, and found he was beaming broadly.
“Mom, Dad, before we have drinks, let me formally introduce you to Charity Green, who I’ve asked to be my bride as you know.”
“Welcome, Charity,” Eleanor said.
“You sure know how to pick ‘em, son,” said his dad, “just like your old man. She’s got good lines. Hi, Charity.”
Blushing at his assessment of me, akin to what he would say about one of his prize horses, I shyly answered. “Hi, and thank you for welcoming me to your home,”
“Honey, you’re welcome to not only our home, but our family, as long as you treat my boy here right.” Jack was as blunt as Russ, but somehow not as intimidating. “Now can I get us those drinks?”
“For you, mom and me, Dad. Charity doesn’t drink.”
Jack paused in mid-stride, as I looked questioningly at Russ, who winked at me ever so quickly. I got it then, and held my peace until Jack handed his wife a glass of wine, and gave Russ one of the two old-fashioned glasses with a couple of fingers of scotch in each. Russ cleared his throat, then put his arm around me.
“Mom, Dad, we have another announcement, and I’d like to make a toast to Charity, who is going to be the mother of my first child.” I watched in alarm as his mom’s wine glass wobbled, the shock in her eyes making me worry that this
wasn’t such a welcome announcement. But then, she raised her glass and touched it to Jack’s, a beautiful smile blooming on her face.
Russ’s joined them, and Jack’s big voice boomed out, “That’s the best news I’ve heard in a month of Sundays! Isn’t it, Mother?” Eleanor looked over at me and smiled kindly. “It truly is,” she said, softly. “When is the wedding? And when is my grandchild due?”
I let Russ do the talking, mostly because there was no choice. These were his parents, and I was profoundly grateful that they had taken our news so well. So I sat quietly while they discussed our future.
“Baby’s due in June, we’ll know a little more accurately after her next appointment. As for the wedding, we’ve got some issues to deal with.”
Eleanor’s look of concern made him pause. “Nothing we can’t handle, Mom. The thing is, we’d like to get married before the baby gets here.”
“I should think so!” she exclaimed primly.
“Right. But, Charity has parents too, and there are considerations. We’ve talked, and she’s okay with me telling you this.” Russ explained the circumstances of my parents’ divorce, and the fact that I’d spent three years in an RALDS compound before running away. As soon as the sect was mentioned, Jack swore and Eleanor drew a sharp breath.
Russ told them that my father was still a member, and that we weren’t sure there would ever be a reconciliation between us, much less in time for a wedding before the baby came, but that we felt obligated to get in touch. Then he told them about my mother. We wouldn’t know for at least a month whether she would be able to attend a wedding that was less than six months away.
“So,” Eleanor summarized, after composing herself. “It could be as late as May. But then, dear,” she said, turning to me, “you’ll be showing. Do you want that?”
“I’m not ashamed of it, Mrs. White.”
“Oh, please, call me mom. Or at least Mom White.” That pleased me, more than anything she could have said.
“There’s no reason for you to be ashamed, dear, but don’t you want a pretty dress? One that will show off your lovely figure? If so, we’re either going to need to get started right away, or wait until after the baby is born.”
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