by Alyssia Leon
The last time she’d flipped through this album had been two years ago, the day after her stepfather’s funeral. Her mother had wanted to remember, and Aura had sat with her and held her as she’d gone through the entire album, talking about each and every photo.
It was a visual record of Ralph and her mother’s twelve year marriage.
She opened the album. The first page had a photo of her mother and Ralph on their wedding day, and on the page opposite, a group photo from the same day. It had been at a registry office, with only a couple of employees from Ralph’s glassworks factory as guests and witnesses, and a ten-year-old Aura. Nathan was absent. He’d been sixteen at the time, and had chosen to stay at his boarding school rather than be by his father’s side that day.
She flicked through the album, her eyes searching for Nathan as they always did. He was there in only three photos, his thick dark hair longer and scruffier on his teenage head, his expression one of silent disdain. He was always standing off to the side of everyone else as if he didn’t belong in their little family unit. The third photo had been taken when he was twenty, the last time he’d spent a weekend at their house. They were all in the garden with a few of Ralph’s friends, and there as clear as day in the image was her fourteen year old self staring up at Nathan with such devotion in her eyes as he sat next to her on a wooden garden bench, that her crush was plainly written on her face for everyone to see.
She cringed. She’d been such a hopeless basket case around him even then. No wonder he’d run away the next day. Her cheeks blazing, she flicked through to the last page of the album.
A large, official looking photo of her father in his army uniform was there. She gently traced her finger over his face. She didn’t remember him, but she missed him like missing a part of herself. Ralph had been a caring stepfather to her, and she would always be grateful to him. He’d been the one to encourage her to take up sewing professionally, having believed in her skill as much as her mother had. In many ways, Ralph had saved her from growing up with a bigger hole in her heart where her father should have been.
But why had things been so intolerable between Ralph and Nathan that he never even came for his father’s funeral? She’d tried to contact Nathan, but his secretary had passed on his condolences and informed her he wouldn’t be attending. Her mother had forgiven him immediately, saying they had to be more understanding because Nathan’s relationship with Ralph had been strained. But Aura had waited for him, hoping he’d change his mind. She’d needed him there, and she’d waited all five days leading up to Ralph’s cremation for him. But true to his word, Nathan never came.
But then Nathan had always been like a dream that slipped through her fingers the harder she tried to hold on to it.
She turned the last page over, and stopped on seeing a sealed white envelope tucked into a plastic slot inside the back cover. That had never been there before. It was normal letter sized and unstamped. The only word on it was in her mother’s neat handwriting. It said, ‘Nathan’.
She pulled it out and turned it over in her fingers, frowning, feeling the folded edges of the letter inside. But why would her mother write a letter to Nathan? What was so important that it had to be written down, and why hadn’t she given it to him already?
She’d make sure to find out as soon as her mother returned from Hawaii.
She replaced the letter and closed the album, sealing the letter inside once more.
* * *
Nathan frowned but listened patiently as his assistant, Maria, spoke over the phone. Aura had just come and mentioned something about dinner, and he longed to go to her, but Maria’s call had come out of the blue and suddenly everything had gone belly up.
As Maria talked, he strode to his bedroom door and closed it. He didn’t need Aura hearing any of this conversation and worrying. “What the hell was she thinking?” He gripped the mobile phone tighter as he went back to staring unseeing out the window.
Maria sighed at the other end. “She’s still your mother, Nathan.”
His laugh was mirthless. “You give her too much credit, Maria. She doesn’t know the meaning of that word.”
Maria was fifty and soon to be a grandmother. Her idea of ‘mother’ was no doubt someone who lived for her children, soothed their fears, and cried when they were hurt. But that wasn’t Nathan’s mother. Vivienne Gimondi lived for no one but herself, and that was a truth he’d refused to acknowledge until after his father’s death two years ago. If she ever shed a tear, it was only for herself.
Vivienne’s third husband, Alberto, had mafia connections, and a year ago, as Astreca had flourished, Alberto had tried to use his dubious relationship with Nathan to ingrain himself with a Sicilian don. Vivienne, sensing an opportunity to get the kind of money she needed to fuel her exotic lifestyle, had eagerly slung her son to the wolfs, urging Nathan to sell a significant share in Astreca to the investors her husband brought. They’d offered twice what Astreca had then been valued at, but Nathan wouldn’t have sold even for ten times. Astreca’s software and technical know-how would be worth billions in the years to come, and the Cosa Nostra were aware of that. They’d put pressure on Nathan, subtle threats and warnings when he hadn’t immediately complied, but Nathan had deftly side-stepped them, actively seeking out legitimate investors for Astreca. It was a move that generated huge publicity for Astreca and put it well out of the Mafia’s shady reach.
It also thrust him right into the media limelight, but that had been a small price to pay for his company’s survival.
Alberto had been left with no deal and a lot of explaining to do to his Mafia benefactors, and since then, Vivienne had looked for any and every way to bring Nathan down, and it looked like she’d finally found one.
“How did my mother get the information?”
“Andy did some digging. Apparently, it was a stewardess on your flight back from Switzerland. She had a photo of you with your eyes bandaged.”
Nathan groaned. So much for Andy playing incognito. “So why didn’t this woman take the photo straight to the papers? Why collude with my mother?”
“I think the original idea was to blackmail Vivienne. I suppose she expected your mother to be more emotional about you. That way, you’d pay more for your mother’s peace of mind.”
“And then she met my mother, who’s even more diabolical than her, and now the two of them decide to blackmail me together.”
“That is where we stand.”
“If it weren’t so pathetic, it would be laughable.”
“Nathan, the meeting is in four days’ time. All it would take is for you to return to the office now and show everyone you’re all right. This thing would disappear without a trace.”
He fell silent. He should leave. It was the right thing to do for Aura and for himself. But a stubborn part of him refused to.
“Nathan?”
“I need time… a few more days.”
“I see.” Her headmistressy tone brought a small smile to his lips.
Maria had been his assistant for the past five years. She’d been with him since Astreca was nothing more than a paper company trading out of a rented shoebox apartment in the middle of London, with him and Andy as the only other employees. She knew him well enough not to question.
“Pull up Alberto’s file, Maria. He owes me several million and I’ve a sudden itch to see it paid back immediately, with interest.”
“How ever did you get that hold on him?”
“I bought it from the don he was trying to cosy up to. I figured I’d be needing insurance against him in the future.”
It would mean the end of any pretence of a relationship between him and his mother, but she’d brought it on herself, and strangely, the thought of losing the one family he had remaining no longer frightened him as much as before.
Maria laughed. “That’ll certainly put a damper on Vivienne’s plans. It’s put a smile on my face at any rate.”
“Happy to oblige. Let’s also gi
ve it a touch of official weight. Send the paperwork up to our law firm’s Leeds branch and I’ll sign off on it tomorrow.”
“Will do, but one more thing before you go.”
He shot an impatient glance at the door. “What is it?”
“Oksana’s been trying to reach you these past few days. Andy asked me not to tell you until after Friday’s meeting, but she called again just ten minutes ago. I’d rather you knew, in case it’s something urgent.”
He closed his eyes and rubbed a weary hand across his face. Maybe this was needed. Maybe it was a sign he should be leaving Aura alone. “Call her back, Maria, and put me through.”
“Right away.”
The line went blank for a moment and then ringtones sounded at the other end.
“Nathan!”
“Oksana, are you all right?”
“Yes. It’s wonderful to hear your voice again.”
He breathed a small sigh of relief. At least she wasn’t in any immediate trouble. When they’d split two weeks ago, she’d taken up with a mid-grade actor she’d had waiting in the wings. Perhaps that relationship had fallen through. “Was there something you wanted to talk about?” he asked.
“I know we didn’t part on the best of terms.” She rushed into speech as if afraid he might hang up on her. “I pushed you, and you weren’t ready. I understand that now. But I’m returning to London tomorrow, and maybe we could meet… for old times sake. I’d really like that.”
He let her familiar, lightly accented voice wash over him. This was his ticket out. He could leave Aura and return to the comfortable predictability of his old life, complete with Oksana. It was the right thing to do. What he needed to do.
But the words refused to form. “Oksana…”
“You’re busy. I know. But it’s Valentines tomorrow and… please, Nathan?”
He thrust his fingers through his disheveled hair. Why in hell was it so difficult to leave this place?
“I’m sorry.” It was as if a weight was lifted off his chest. “Besides, I’m not in London at the moment.” He also didn’t want her going to the office and giving Andy grief.
“I could fly over and meet you anywhere if you tell—”
“No. I’m up North. My father’s house.”
“Oh.” Her voice dropped in defeat. “Perhaps we could meet—”
“I’ll get Maria to schedule you in sometime. But if you’ll excuse me now?”
“Yes…”
“Bye, Oksana.” He hung up. No regret. Just an overwhelming need to get to Aura. And he wasn’t going to fight it any longer.
He put the phone down on the bedside table and strode to the door, but when he pulled it open, he came to an abrupt halt. A blue box of painkillers and a glass of water was on the carpet outside.
A small smile curved his lips, and hunkering down, he popped two tablets from the foil strip in the box and swallowed them with a swig of water. Then straightening up, he placed the tablets and water on a sideboard in his room and stepped out to find Aura.
He didn’t need to go far. The light was on in Cathy’s bedroom, its brightness seeping around the slightly open door into the dim unlit landing.
12
The bedroom door swung open, and Aura whipped around from where she was placing the album back in the drawer.
Nathan leaned against the door frame, both hands thrust into his jeans pockets, his face impassive and his silver-grey eyes intent on her.
She straightened, licking her lips nervously. What was going on in that head of his right now? “You’ve finished… Are you hungry?”
His mouth tipped up in that sexy half-smile that took her breath away. “Always.”
His eyes glittered with a hunger that brought heat flooding to her cheeks. She crossed her arms across her chest to hide the hardening of her braless nipples as they pushed against the thin cotton of her vest top. “I kept dinner warm,” she mumbled.
He cocked his head to the side, as if considering something for a moment, then with a nod, straightened and moved away from the door.
She didn’t hesitate. Taking the opening he’d given her, she rushed past him, not locking gazes with him again lest her body embarrassed her with more signs of its desperate clamouring for him.
* * *
Dinner was less stressful than she’d braced herself for. They kept the topics to her mother’s vacation, Andy’s little family, and even the erratic weather. The Prosecco Nathan had chosen went beautifully with the risotto, and he must have enjoyed the food as much as she did because there were no left overs.
Still, it was a relief when it was over. Nathan had been there physically, but not in any other way that mattered if their lacklustre conversation was anything to go by. It was as if neither one of them wanted to acknowledge the massive elephant in the room that was their sorry relationship.
The cleaning up afterwards was quick. She’d done most of the washing up straight after cooking, and they had only their plates to wash. Nathan had insisted on helping her, and she’d let him without a murmur of protest.
She glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes as she wiped down the tabletop. He was drying and stacking the last of the plates as if he did this everyday. So distant, yet so homely at the same time. The awkward silence between them loomed and filled the kitchen, and she couldn’t face it anymore. She had to say something to make things right between them. Maybe she could admit she missed him and wanted him. Could she admit she loved him?
She glanced at the clock on the wall. Just past eight. The coward’s way out was to excuse herself. She did have dress alterations to do, and if she spent the next couple of hours working she might stop thinking about him. It might just work.
She dropped the tea towel she was holding into the laundry basket and turned to him. “You must have work to do. I’ll just—”
“Do you have plans for tomorrow?”
“Plans?”
“Valentines. I heard you mentioning something about a date to your friend.” His tone was clipped, impatient, and he leaned against the sink, his arms crossed across his broad chest.
She frowned for a moment, confused, and then it dawned on her. “Oh, you mean… That’s Lisa’s blind date. I don’t have—”
“What about Bill?”
She frowned again and crossed her own arms, mirroring his haughty stance. “Unfortunately, no, and definitely not after today’s fiasco.”
He grinned then, his entire face lightening, and was that relief lighting his eyes? Still she couldn’t decide if she wanted to slap him for being so insensitive as to find this funny, or kiss him for coming back to his old self.
But the lightness vanished as fast as it had come, and he uncrossed his arms and pushed away from the sink, his expression pensive as he came to stand in front of her. Reaching out, he took hold of her bare upper arms and stroked his thumbs in soothing circles over her skin.
She gasped at the gentle contact, her wide-eyed gaze flying up to meet his contemplative one.
“There’s so much between us I want to set right, Aura. I’m not sure where to start…”
“Nathan…” She shook her head, trepidation robbing her of words.
“I need to apologize. You deserved much better.”
Her heart thundered in her chest. Was he saying this now because it was the end for them? What else could this be? She wanted to beg him to try again. Wanted him to believe there was more for them. But she could only stare numbly at him.
He released her and half-turned away, running a hand through his hair. “Hell, Aura, I don’t know how to say this.”
She waited with bated breath, her arms wrapped around herself, her thumbs rubbing the spots he’d held just moments before.
He turned back to her. “I have to go to Leeds tomorrow morning…”
Her stomach dropped like a stone and a chill shot through her. He was leaving? So soon?
“But when I get back, we’ll work things out…”
Relief was
a warm rush in her. He was coming back.
“But I want you to know, no matter what you decide, I’ll always look after you… and our baby if it comes to that.”
Her hand flew to her mouth. He wanted their child if she was pregnant. She hadn’t dared hope. She’d thought he would just leave, but to hear him say he would accept their baby had her heart swell to bursting.
“Thank you,” she whispered, and throwing her arms around him, pressed a kiss to his lips.
He staggered back a step in shock before steadying himself. Then with a rumbling growl, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him, deepening the kiss with a ferocious hunger.
* * *
Aura woke alone on Valentines morning. She sat up in Nathan’s bed, missing the feel of his arms around her, holding her tight through the night.
They’d made slow sweet love that had left her sobbing with its deliciousness, and then he’d held her to him as if he was scared she would run away. It had been different to all the times they’d made love before, it had been as if they finally belonged to each other.
She shook her head. She was getting carried away. He’d never promised anything, and she wasn’t going to start dreaming about forever again.
A quick glance at the bedside clock showed it was nearly ten o’clock. God, she never slept this late. She ran her hand over the indentation in his pillow where he’d slept. Leeds. That’s where he said he’d be today. But he’d also said he’d come back. She refused to think any further than that. She would wait.
Pulling herself out of his bed, she gathered her clothes from the floor and headed back to her room to get ready for the day.
* * *
Six o’clock in the evening, and Nathan still hadn’t returned. Aura put the last stitches to the dress she was altering and freed it from the sewing machine. He would have called and explained if he wasn’t coming back today, wouldn’t he?
Frowning, she put the dress back in its protective cover and went and hung it up in the wardrobe. She had to stop thinking about him. She was driving herself crazy.
