Be Mine

by Alyssia Leon

  For a moment, he looked so lonely and her heart went out to him.

  Then he saw her and slowly got to his feet, his appreciative gaze raking her up and down. He looked magnificently powerful in a dark suit and black shirt with the top button left casually undone, and she swallowed, suddenly shy at the thought of facing him.

  As they entered the private area, the couples at the other three tables glanced at her, the men’s appraising gazes lingering a bit too long, but it was Nathan’s hot gaze that held her trapped.

  The maitre d’ led her to the table and pulled out her chair, but Nathan stepped forward and took over from him. With a small bow, the man left them.

  “Thank you for the roses,” she said as she sat down, casting him a shy look over her shoulder.

  He smiled and leaning down, placed a kiss on her bare shoulder. “You look beautiful, Aura.”

  “Thank you,” she breathed, her skin burning from where his lips had touched her.

  He wouldn’t recognize the red dress, but this greeting from him was a far cry from the last time she’d worn it.

  He sat down beside her, a wry smile on his lips. “Though, I’m not sure I’m comfortable with the way the guys here are gaping at you.”

  A stupid thrill fluttered through her. Was he jealous? That was a good sign, surely? “You’re attracting a fair amount of attention yourself, Nathan.”

  And he was, if the way plenty of female gazes not so discreetly flicked to their table was anything to judge by.

  He shrugged. “I only have eyes for one woman.”

  His gaze was intent on her, and she had to glance away, her cheeks heating.

  “I’m glad you came tonight,” he said. “For a while, I thought you might leave me waiting.”

  She looked back at him. A hint of uncertainty showed in his eyes, and she bit her lip. She nearly had left him waiting, if Lisa hadn’t talked her out of it. But the way he was looking at her now was speaking more than words. Maybe Lisa was right. Maybe Nathan and she did have a future. They just needed to admit it to each other.

  She smiled. “I’m glad I came too.”

  A waiter approached them then, and Nathan turned his attention to ordering.

  She relaxed back into her comfortable chair, already loving being here with him. For once, it was as if he was finally within her reach.

  * * *

  The meal was delicious, roasted lamb and dauphinoise potatoes with a red wine and rosemary sauce, finished off with slices of mouth-watering passion fruit cake. The conversation had been easy, but something remained unsaid, on the edge of their tongues. It was there in the brooding looks Nathan shot her, and in her gathering nervousness.

  A piano struck up a slow dance melody accompanied by the rest of the band and several couples rose to go to the dance floor, moving into a close sway in each other’s arms.

  Nathan looked at her. “Would you like to dance?”

  “I don’t have much practice.” And she was wearing her mother’s shoes, which were taking some getting used to, even though they had the same size feet.

  “I’ll guide you.” He stood and extended a hand.

  Wanting to be close to him, she placed her hand in his and let him lead her out to the dance floor, where he gathered her into his arms and they swayed together to the dreamy music. He moved a hand to caress her lower back and she melted into his touch, pressing herself closer to his firm body. The hard ridge of his arousal thrust against her and she gasped, her wide-eyed gaze shooting to his. Until now all his words and actions had remained on this side of polite and to finally feel his raw desire was like reaching air in the midst of drowning.

  “Hell,” he muttered, and swooping down, captured her mouth in a fierce kiss.

  Her small moan was lost in his mouth, and her eyes fluttered closed as she abandoned herself to him.

  But he broke away, his breathing ragged. “Not here. That’s not how I planned it.”

  His face was flushed, a small frown marred his brow, and the fierce light in his narrowed eyes made him look like he was fighting a silent battle inside.

  What had he planned? That they’d have a meal, go home and have sex? Why did that make her feel so cheap, even though she ached for him?

  She shook her head sadly. “Nathan, we need to talk.”

  His mouth compressed into a thin line. “We’ll talk at your house.”

  He steered her through the crowd of dancing couples back to their table, where he made quick work of settling the bill. And within minutes they were outside, and George was opening the back door of the Bentley. Nathan seated her inside on the black bench seat, and then slipped in after her. George went to the front and soon had the big car in motion.

  The car left the brightly lit city roads behind, and she cast a glance at Nathan’s silent profile as he sat with his head tilted away from her, looking out the window. His silence unnerved her.

  What had he planned?

  Had he planned on telling her it was all over? Her heart did a painful somersault. Straight home and sex suddenly seemed the better option.

  As a teenager, she’d have given her life for just one smile from him. She’d had her smiles and much more these past few days, but now she’d give her life if he’d only give her forever. How pathetic to clutch on to a dream that would never happen. But her silly heart needed to hear him say they had no future to finally give up all hope of having him in her life.

  Taking a breath to shore up her courage, she reached out and touched his hand. “Nathan, what’s happening between us?”

  He looked at her, his light eyes hooded, and then shot a glance at the back of George’s capped head. For a moment, it looked like he wouldn’t answer, but he hit a button by his door and dark tinted privacy glass slid into place between them and the front of the car.

  A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I wanted to wait, but there’s never a right time for this.” He caught her hand in his, absentmindedly massaging her fingers, and she braced herself for his next words. “Aura, will you marry me?”

  Her world spun to a halt and she gaped at him. He had to be joking.

  But he was staring at her, waiting for her answer, everything about him taut with tension. This was everything she ever wanted, but why did her heart suddenly feel as if it had shrivelled to a lump?

  She stared back at him, yelling at herself to just say ‘yes’, but his rigid expression registered. He looked like a man willingly facing a firing squad for the greater good.

  She frowned in confusion. “Why would you ask me to marry you?”

  He gazed down at their joined hands. “I’ve been selfish where you’re concerned, taking my pleasure and damning the consequences.” His silver eyes met hers. “You might already be pregnant, and that’s my responsibility.”

  A cold chill washed over her. He didn’t want her, only the baby they might have created.

  She pulled her hand from his hold and curled it into a tight ball in her lap. “Even if I am pregnant, you don’t need to marry me for that, Nathan.”

  His eyes narrowed. “As long as you’re carrying my child, you’ll marry me. It’s as simple as that.”

  Really? He was going to order her into this? But it would be so easy to say yes. He would be hers just like she’d dreamed. Only… it wouldn’t be like she’d dreamed. She would be his wife in name, the mother of his child, but she’d never own his heart, while he already owned hers. And then when the day came that he finally gave his heart to another woman, she’d have to stand by and watch, dying a slow death inside.

  No, it was better she set him free now. She would be freeing herself too, even if it sure as hell didn’t feel like it.

  She blinked back the hot tears that stung her eyes. “The question is if I’m carrying your child, Nathan, and even that’s doubtful. It’s the wrong time of month for me.”

  “Are you saying you’re not pregnant?” he asked through gritted teeth.

  He should be happy. She was letting him off the hook.
So why was he still acting like a bear about this?

  She shook her head. “I don’t think I am.”

  “But you can’t be sure. It’s too early to tell.”

  Why oh why was he pushing this? Anyone would think he was desperate for her to be pregnant so he could marry her. Only the reality wasn’t anywhere near as romantic, and it hurt like a thousand cuts.

  The car turned into the familiar streets of Langley, and dragging up a courage she hadn’t known she had, she fired back at him. “Pregnant or not, I’d never marry you. We have no future together. You need to get off your moral high horse, Nathan, and go back to your life and women in London. I don’t need you and I never will.”

  He rocked back in his seat as if she’d struck him, staring at her like he was seeing her for the first time.

  She stared back, biting back the urge to throw herself in his arms and tell him she hadn’t meant a word. That she loved him. But no, she had to let him go. He’d thank her for this as soon as this night was over and he came back to his senses.

  The car rolled to a stop outside her house and the spell was broken. His mouth set in a grim line, Nathan pushed his door open and was out even as George came to open her door for her.

  She stepped out of the Bentley just as the passenger side door of a car parked in front of them opened and a vision in a short mink coat and stilettos got out, her long platinum-blonde hair flowing like silk down her shoulders and back.

  Aura gaped. In real life, Oksana Petrova looked like an Angel fallen from heaven.

  “Nathan!” Oksana ran to him, her arms outstretched, sure of her welcome.

  Without hesitating, he slammed his car door shut and strode the few steps to meet her, catching her in his arms.

  She hugged him tight.

  And Aura’s world crumbled then and there.

  He broke the embrace, but kept a hand at the small of her back. “Oksana, what are you doing here?”

  “Are you all right? It’s all over the news that you had a head injury from a ski accident. Your mother’s been giving interviews saying you’re not fit to work. I was so worried. I had to come here and see you.”

  His lips thinned. “I’m fine. My mother likes to exaggerate.” He frowned and glanced at George. “I’ll have to head back to London straight away.”

  “Very well, sir. The roads should be clear at this hour. We’ll make good time.”

  “No, you’ve been behind the wheel since morning. Just take us to the airport. I’ll call and have them get the helicopter ready. Book yourself into a hotel and drive back tomorrow once you’re rested.”

  Aura straightened. She’d let him go, and now she had to see this through. Just, please, let her stay in one piece until she was inside the house. She made her way around the back of the Bentley and stepped on to the pavement, walking quickly to the house’s small wrought iron gate.

  “Aura…” Nathan called her from behind.

  She turned slightly and glanced back at him, her head high.

  He still had one arm around Oksana, who was pressed into his side, a small satisfied smile on her lips. They made a beautiful couple. No denying it. And that look of concern on his face was just him wanting to know she would be all right, nothing more. Of course she would be… in time.

  “Goodbye, Nathan,” she murmured, and turning away, she fished in her clutch purse for the door keys.

  As she pulled them out, the car doors closed behind her, and the engine started.

  He wouldn’t leave until she was inside. For some reason, she knew that as sure as her next breath, but opening the door and stepping inside meant Nathan would leave forever.

  With shaking hands, she thrust the key into the lock and pushed the door open, taking that one fatal step.

  The car wheels crunched on the road, and the tears finally streamed down her face. She staggered in, turning in the act of closing the door to watch the Bentley’s red tail lights disappear down the road, until nothing remained but black emptiness.

  Closing the door, she sank to the floor of the hallway, sobbing out her grief.

  14

  Aura let herself into the empty house after work on Thursday and flicked on the hallway light. Two days had passed since Nathan left her life, and it still hurt as if her own heart was missing. Work at the alterations boutique had helped keep most of the suffocating loneliness at bay. She just had to keep her head down and get on with her sewing. The three older seamstresses had more than made up for the silence with their tales of family misadventures and opinions on who should be making out with whom on the daytime soaps.

  But being back home was something else. The memory of Nathan lingered everywhere, and she had nowhere to hide.

  George had stopped by early Wednesday morning on his way to London and taken all of Nathan’s clothes and belongings with him. She’d packed up every little thing and handed it over, not wanting anything of Nathan in the house anymore. It had been an attempt at a clean break, but he refused to leave her mind. Her days were a smothering fog of loneliness, and her nights had dissolved into a nightmare of sleepless tossing and turning because she missed having his arms around her.

  She walked into the kitchen and put the shopping bag on the table. She’d bought ingredients for dinner tonight. Nothing fancy. Mum was returning from Hawaii and an easy spaghetti bolognese had sounded nice. Easy enough that she could do it with her eyes closed, and not worry about burning everything to a crisp in her current state of mind.

  Ten minutes later, she’d changed into her comfy loose cotton trousers and a yellow vest top and was dicing onions. The rhythmic motion gave her mind something to focus on, leaving it little time to mope. Stay busy. Stay busy, was her new mantra.

  The doorbell rang jolting her out of herself.

  She glanced at the clock on the wall. Mum wasn’t due back until after six, and it was only half-past-five. Maybe the flight had landed early. Wiping her hands on a tea towel, she went to open the door.

  Lisa stood on the doorstep beaming. Her blonde hair was done up in a thick side-braid over one shoulder and her make-up was flawless.

  Aura forced an answering smile to her face. She probably looked as crap as she felt, but no need to burden Lisa with it. “Why are you all dressed up? And where’s Jason?”

  “Jason’s with his grandparents, and I have a date,” She stepped into the house and took off her coat to reveal a blue silk wrap dress under a darker blue cardigan.

  Aura closed the door. “Gary?”

  Lisa nodded as she hung up her coat, her smile broader, and Aura grinned. Finally, it was like sunshine after a storm to be able to smile with real joy for the first time these past two days. “Come and tell me everything.” She led the way to the kitchen and put the mince to brown on the stove.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t drop by yesterday,” Lisa said, leaning against the counter. “But let’s just say my Valentine’s date was extended.”

  Aura laughed. “You’re excused, but only because it sounds like you had a heap of fun.”

  “Oh, you have no idea.” Lisa waggled her eyebrows.

  “Hmm, Gary’s proving to be better than expected, huh?”

  “Much better.” Her expression dropped. “I hope he feels the same about me though.”

  Aura looked up from the stove. “Why wouldn’t he? You’re still seeing each other.”

  “He hasn’t said anything about this being long-term, and honestly, I’m too scared to ask so early in the relationship. Heck, I don’t even know if it’s a proper relationship. I might be head over heels, and he seems to like being with me, compliments me like crazy, but it feels like he’s holding back for some reason. What if it’s just an infatuation for him and it all blows over?”

  Aura winced. Hadn’t this been how she’d felt about Nathan? And look how that had turned out. But not every man was like Nathan. She laid a comforting hand on Lisa’s arm. “Give it a chance. Don’t panic it to death this early on.”

  “It’s hard not
to panic, especially when I’ve been a fool once before and given my heart away too soon. And then there’s the trouble of being a single mum. It’s not just me. He has to like my kid too. Though, Gary has been brilliant with Jason so far. He’s a natural with kids.”

  Aura smiled. So Lisa had given her heart, and to Gary. Who’d have guessed, especially considering the macho action-man types she’d always claimed to be attracted to. Maybe Gary’s more easy-going nature was what Lisa had needed all along. Hopefully this would work out for them.

  She added the last ingredients to the mince and stirred. “That’s good, isn’t it? If he likes both you and Jason, then I’d say you’re on to a winner. Just give it time.”

  “Time. Yep, that’s what it needs. It’s also a good thing I’ll be moving into my own apartment tomorrow. Mum and dad are great, but it’s awkward being twenty-two and dating around the parent unit. You’re still helping me move, aren’t you?”

  “Of course. I’m leaving work at lunchtime just so I can be there.”

  “Fantastic. I’m really excited. It sort of feels like a right of passage to adulthood to have your own place. Though, does having your older brother as your next door neighbour count?”

  Aura laughed. Lisa’s new apartment for her and Jason was in the same complex as Bill’s, with his being right opposite hers. “I think it’s great you’re all together. It’ll be nice for Jason to have his uncle nearby.”

  “Huh, I thought it was a good idea to have Bill close by when I first chose the apartment, but now with Gary in the picture, I’m not so sure. You know how Bill likes to poke his nose in my business.”

  “That’s called being protective. He’s your big brother. What did you expect?”

  “I’ll put up with it for Jason’s sake, but if he scares Gary away, then he’s going to feel the sharp end of my heels on his bossy backside.”

  Aura turned down the gas and Lisa sniffed appreciatively as the bolognese sauce simmered on the stove. “That smells good. I’d be tempted to join you guys if Gary wasn’t taking me out for a fancy Greek dinner.” She grinned. “Does Nathan know your mum’s back today? It’s going to put a wet cloud over your little love nest.”