Southern Love

by Synithia Williams

  It was too early for the front door to be opened, so he walked around to the building’s side entrance. A nurse was slowly getting out of her car as he rounded the corner. He gave her his best heart-breaker smile. “I’m here to see Dr. Jones.”

  The nurse didn’t smile back. She looked at her watch. “Sir, it’s seven. Our office doesn’t open until eight.”

  Jared kept smiling as he walked over to help her out of the car. “I realize that, but I’m a friend of his and I really need to see him.”

  She frowned at him, shook off the hand he had on her arm, and walked to the side entrance. “Like I haven’t heard that before.”

  Jared rushed up behind her. “Just tell him Jared Patterson is out here.” When she rolled her eyes he reached out and took her hand. She glared and he immediately dropped his hands. “Please.”

  “Mmmhmm,” she said and disappeared behind the solid brown door.

  Jared tapped his foot and checked his watch. He wanted to catch Devin before he was bogged down with his patients. Plus, he had a plane to catch. He checked his watch again — only two minutes had passed, but it felt like two hours.

  He turned toward the door and raised his hand to knock when it opened. Devin stepped back when he saw Jared’s raised fist. “I know you didn’t come all the way up here just to hit me.”

  Jared dropped his fist. “Nah, man, I was about to knock.”

  Devin stepped out and eyed Jared curiously. “What’s going on? Malcolm and I have been trying to reach you.”

  Jared ran a hand over his face. “I know. He even came by the house last night. I pretended I wasn’t there.”

  Devin crossed his arms. “You want to tell me why?”

  “Because I didn’t want to see him.”

  “I know you have a tendency to avoid difficult situations, but there’s no need to do that with Malcolm. He’s your brother.”

  Jared shook his head. “And he’s a choir boy. I didn’t want to listen to him preach.”

  “Preach about what? How you treated Tasha? Because if that’s the case you’ll hear it from me instead.”

  “You two need to preach to Tasha about how she treated me.”

  “Jared, that girl loved you.”

  “Yeah, she loved me enough to sneak and get pregnant.” The words didn’t feel right. But what else could he say? He’d seen the evidence.

  Devin unfolded his arms and put them on his hips. “Tasha’s pregnant?”

  Jared rubbed his jaw and began to pace. “Yes. She told me in Atlanta.”

  Devin reached out to grab Jared’s arm. “And you kicked her out after she told you that?” He glared at Jared.

  Jared pulled away. “You don’t understand. I found a condom in my bag with holes in it. She was poking holes in my condoms, Devin.” He shrugged. “She tricked me.”

  Devin frowned. “Tasha poked holes in your condoms? You’ve got to be mistaken.”

  Jared shook his head. “I don’t want to believe it. I swear I don’t, but what other explanation is there? I caught her going through my bag in Charleston. It was one of the same condoms we’d had down there. She even told me how much she wanted to get married and have kids. I just didn’t think she would do that.”

  “Did she confess?”

  “No. She says she didn’t do it.”

  “Maybe she didn’t.”

  “I wasn’t sleeping with anyone else when we were together. Who else had access?”

  Devin held up his hands. “I don’t know, but she doesn’t seem the type.”

  “I didn’t think Tasha would do something so low either.” Jared sighed and leaned against the nurse’s car. “You were right in Atlanta. I did love her. Shit, sometimes I feel like I still love her. But I can’t be with her knowing she did that to me.”

  If Devin was surprised he didn’t show it. “Jared, she’s having your baby. Regardless of the circumstances, you’ve got to make things work.”

  “I can’t. I’m leaving for L.A. today.”

  Devin scowled. “You’re leaving? What about Tasha?”

  His stomach clenched. “Look, she chose to get pregnant without telling me. I don’t owe her anything.”

  Devin stalked over to Jared. “I don’t condone what she did, but you can’t just up and forget your child like that.”

  “I know, but I need some time … away from her. When I’m around her, I forget how messed up she treated me. I can’t deal with that.”

  “So you’re gonna run. Just like you always do.”

  Jared stood. “Look, the plan to go to L.A. came long before Tasha got pregnant. It’s Cassandra’s birthday, I go every year.”

  Devin looked skeptical. “When are you coming back?”

  Jared shrugged. “I don’t know, Malcolm’s wedding.”

  Devin pointed his finger. “That’s September.”

  “I know.”

  Devin raised another finger. “It’s June. You’re going to forget the woman who’s having your baby for the entire summer?”

  Jared sighed. “That’s why I’m here. I want you … no, I need you to check in on Tasha for me. Make sure she and the baby are okay. If she needs anything let me know. I’ll get it.”

  Devin’s brown furled. “Why aren’t you telling her this?”

  Jared balled his fists. “Because I can’t look at her right now.” He took a deep breath. “As much as I want to turn my back on her and the baby, I can’t. I wouldn’t make a good father on my own, and I don’t have to be in their lives to take care of them.”

  “Just like you weren’t in your mother’s life, but took care of her,” Devin said.

  “Yeah, something like that.” Jared looked at his watch. “I’ve got a flight to catch.”

  “Are you going to tell Malcolm about the baby?”

  Jared’s lips rose in a twisted sad smile. “I’ll call him from L.A. If I told him in person, he’d try to kill me.”

  Devin drew his lips in. “You’re probably right. Look, man, don’t stay out there that long. I guess I can understand your need to get away after that kind of betrayal, but come back and work things out with Tasha. You two are having a kid together.”

  “I’ll see what I can do.” Jared reached out his hand. Devin looked at him for a second before taking it. “Thanks, Devin. Just keep an eye out on her.”

  “How am I supposed to do that from Helena?”

  Jared smiled. “Kenyatta will tell Malcolm everything, and he’ll come running to you complaining about how pissed he is at me. Don’t you know that’s why you’re our friend? You keep us sane.”

  Devin grimaced. “Well who’s going to keep me sane?”

  Jared laughed. “You got it all together, man.”

  Devin joined in but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I do, I guess.”

  Jared turned to go back to his car, but paused. “Oh, and keep an eye on that doctor Kevis whatever. I don’t want him sniffing around trying to claim my baby.”

  Devin’s brows rose. “Is he still trying to see Tasha?”

  “He was at her dad’s church this weekend, and they looked all chummy.”

  “Why do you care, if you don’t want her?”

  “I never said I didn’t want her. I just don’t want to want her,” Jared said. He turned and got in his car.

  He checked the clock on his dashboard. It was seven twenty. His plane didn’t leave until nine. He pulled out of the parking lot and drove through the small town toward the interstate. He didn’t need to go back home — his bags were in the car and anything else he might need his assistant could send later. But he wasn’t in the mood to sit around the airport for hours. Columbia airport was nowhere near as busy as Atlanta or Charlotte, so arriving early wasn’t a necessity. He wouldn’t give in to the urge for w
hat he wanted to do. He’d done that on Sunday, and that had blown up in his face.

  His mind ran over the conversation he’d had with Tasha on Sunday. She was adamant she hadn’t gotten pregnant on purpose, and he wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe her so badly he was almost willing to say to hell with it and try to get back what they’d had. Or, what they’d started to have. He couldn’t hate her. He hadn’t lied when he told Devin the love wouldn’t go away. She’d buried herself deep inside of him in a place that no other woman had ever accessed. Because of that, he didn’t trust himself around her. Seeing her get sick on Sunday was like a knife in his chest. He wanted to take care of her the same way he’d done when she’d had the allergic reaction. Watching her stand for the rest of the church service had annoyed him more than he cared to admit. She should have been sitting down, not wearing herself out.

  He gripped the steering wheel and cursed in frustration. But he couldn’t ignore what he’d seen. His mistrust in women went too far back, it was so much a part of him it overruled his need to have her in his life. Even though he now knew the misunderstanding behind his father’s death, it didn’t change the fact that he’d spent the last fifteen years believing women were untrustworthy. One revelation couldn’t take away years of having women pursue him for money, sex, or fame. He didn’t want to see her and he didn’t want to talk to her. Asking Devin to let him know if she needed anything was better than most men would do in this situation.

  Yet his hand still grabbed his cell phone resting in the cup holder and pressed the preset number for the Rec Commission. His immediate need to make sure she was okay before he left town outweighed his desire to forget her.

  Feeling sick with himself for calling after admitting to Devin he couldn’t handle seeing her, he started to hang up but the receptionist answered on the second ring.

  He cleared his throat. “Is Tasha Smith in?”

  “No, she called in sick today. Is there anything I can help you with?”

  Jared squeezed the phone. “No thank you. I’ll try later.” He tossed the phone in the passenger seat. He’d reached the outer edges of town and increased his speed as he approached the interstate. Ignoring the voice in his head calling him a fool for caring, and the knowledge that going to her took him on the opposite side of town from the airport, Jared drove toward Tasha’s home.

  CHAPTER 34

  Tasha walked out of her doctor’s office in a daze. It was confirmed by a professional. She was pregnant with Jared’s child. She barely noticed her surroundings as she got on the elevator and pressed the button. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t known what the doctor confirmed, but before coming she could almost ignore it. She could say to herself the tests she’d had were faulty or she’d misread the result. But when her doctor came back and said “Congratulations” there was no way to ignore that.

  The surprise on her doctor’s face was almost comical. To have a patient go from being a virgin at their January visit to pregnant in June must be unusual. Tasha liked Dr. Robinson, and usually found it easy to open up to her about anything regarding her health, but when she’d hinted about the father, she’d clammed up. She knew Angie, Kenyatta, and Malcolm would guess who the father was, but the truth wouldn’t come from her lips. If Jared didn’t want her, then she didn’t want to even mention his name.

  “Excuse me, miss. Isn’t this your floor?”

  Tasha blinked several times and turned to the man in the elevator with her. He had a frown on his face and was holding the door open.

  “Thank you, it is,” she said and got off the elevator. She looked down the hall toward the parking garage, before turning in the opposite direction and entering the walkway that crossed Taylor Street and connected her doctor’s office and Baptist Medical Center. She walked onto the walkway and stared at the people on the street below. She didn’t want to go home. There was too much stuff there to remind her of her stupidity. Her bookshelf filled with romance novels and romantic comedy DVDs. All of them were going to Goodwill. They were full of lies. Life didn’t work like that; life wasn’t full of happy endings and romantic men who loved you forever. Life was full of men who didn’t trust women and fathers who abandoned daughters in their time of need. The box under her bed with her life goals, including the plans for her future wedding, would go in the trash. That plan had been shot to hell the minute she’d asked Jared to take her virginity.

  How stupid and naïve she’d been. The main reason she’d kept her distance from Jared after meeting him years ago was because she knew his reputation. She’d heard the gossip about him, followed some of it actually. She was fully aware women threw themselves at him. It was foolish to have thought she would be immune to what other women craved. She could have moved on if he’d treated their situation like any of his other affairs. But she’d asked him not to treat her that way. She opened her heart and he’d crashed in, setting himself so fully inside of her that even when she’d known it was time to move on she hadn’t.

  She pressed her head against the glass of the crosswalk and sighed. Her eyelids fluttered down as she remembered the way they were. How he’d talked to her about his problems. The way he’d held her on the beach in Charleston. How much fun they had watching basketball together. How he’d come to her after her date with Kevis and said he loved her. Her heart lurched painfully and she squeezed her eyes tighter. It was all a lie. He’d admitted it in Atlanta. In the end he had treated her like the rest of the women in his life, and that hurt as much as him accusing her of planning this pregnancy to trap him.

  “The time for pity parties is over,” she whispered. Taking a deep breath, Tasha pushed away from the glass and stared at her reflection. She may have been stupid, foolish, and naïve before, but she couldn’t afford to be now. She had to be smart, strong, and capable for the child she carried.

  “Tasha?”

  She froze, before whipping around and facing Kevis. He was in scrubs, carrying a cup of coffee in his hands. When she didn’t speak, he came closer.

  “Are you okay?”

  She blinked and nodded stiffly. “I’m fine.”

  He looked around. “Where’s your jock?”

  Tasha glared at him. “That’s none of your business.”

  He scoffed. “He’s no longer in the picture is he?”

  Anger snapped up her spine. “What does it matter to you? It’s not as if you’re much better. You only asked me out because you thought I was a virgin.”

  “I was curious about you because of that. What man wouldn’t be, but I asked you out because I was attracted to you. I showed up at your dad’s church because I thought there was something between us.”

  She crossed her arms. “Well, you were wrong.”

  “I wasn’t wrong. I just didn’t realize the thing between us was another man.”

  She shook her head. “Forget this.”

  When she tried to walk away, he sighed and placed a hand on her elbow. “I’m sorry I was out of line.”

  She snatched her arm away and crossed them. “Yes, you are.”

  He looked down, shuffled his feet, then met her eye. “Just tell me if he’s still in the picture.”

  “Why?”

  “Because, if he’s not … I’d like us to try and be friends.”

  Holy crap. Her palms became sweaty and her heartbeat picked up. A solution. She wouldn’t be a ruined woman. She shook her head to rid herself of the thought. Kevis was not a solution. “You can’t be serious.”

  He nodded. “I’m not saying let’s start dating or anything, I’d just like us to be friends. I like you Tasha, and I don’t want us to part on bad terms.” He held out his hand. “Friends.”

  She stared at his hand before finally taking it. “Associates.”

  He smiled. “Whatever you want to call it.” He lifted an eyebrow. “We would have been good, huh?”

 
Her lips curved into a reluctant smile. “We might have been.”

  “Fair enough.” He squeezed her hand. “Promise you’ll take care of yourself.”

  She nodded. “I will.”

  He dropped her hand. “Good.”

  She turned back toward the parking garage and her car and he crossed the walkway into the hospital. Sure they’d said they would be friends, but would they really. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to trust Kevis, and the look in his eyes told her he’d been hurt by her pregnancy. As much as she wanted to regret sleeping with Jared, she wouldn’t have this child if she’d never had, and despite the circumstances behind its conception, she wanted this baby. She also wanted Jared, now more than ever. Which was stupid.

  On the way home she stopped at Dollar General and bought four storage containers for the books, magazines, and everything else she needed to clear out of her house. Angie called her when she was in the store, but she didn’t answer her phone. She hadn’t talked to Angie since the disaster that should have been Sunday dinner. From her sister’s messages, she’d gathered her parents were still upset, but her mom was begging her dad to apologize. It was a small comfort to know her mom was taking her side in this. But she couldn’t face her family until she got her feelings straightened out.

  She turned the corner onto her street and gasped. Jared’s silver sports car sat in her driveway. The very small amount of fortification she’d built since leaving the doctor’s office nearly shattered. She pulled in beside his car and stared at him sitting on her porch step.

  She allowed herself one second to let her feelings for him warm her insides. He was dressed as usual, basketball shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt, and as always, her heart did a silly flip flop when his eyes met hers. He stood and she had to remind herself to breathe he walked toward the car. His gait was unhurried, but tense.