Monster Age

by GR Griffin

  Toriel closed her eyes, shook her head and sighed, then moved on to the next. “Undyne?”

  “Well, recently, I’ve grown kinda bored of cooking pasta all the time. That’s why I’ve decided to try something different for a change.” Undyne removed the top of her uncool picnic cooler, grey smoke billowed out. “I tried to cook something easy, like some frozen pizzas.” She pulled out the result: five charred pizza boxes, still smouldering and molten around the pizza inside each one. “I swear I followed the instructions to the letter.”

  Undyne had indeed followed the instructions on the boxes, but had missed the part on all of them that read: remove all packaging.

  Dr Alphys spoke up. “Don’t sweat it, Undyne. At least you didn’t burn the house down…” She paused for so long that it became awkward. “…a-again.”

  “Alphys, please tell us you brought something at least edible,” Toriel said.

  The former royal scientist cleared her throat. “O-okay, so you know that I’m not the greatest… I mean, I’m not exactly master chef here. I didn’t think instant noodles and hot pockets would be fitting…”

  “Don’t be so modest,” Asgore added. “I think by now, we will take anything at this point.”

  Alphys perked up with a light chuckle. “That’s so nice of you to say, your majesty – I mean, Asgore.” After all, Asgore was no longer Alphys’s king and Alphys was no longer Asgore’s royal scientist. “But I must insist, I could do better than that, but I don’t have the cooking skills.” She opened her plastic bag and pulled out several paper packets. “So… I swung around Muffet’s bakery and picked up some… er… treats?”

  Inside each bag was a different, spider-related, baked good. Spider rolls. Spider pastries. Spider cupcakes. Spider shortbread. Spider gingerbread men – shaped like spiders.

  Alphys continued, “I’ve heard that Muffet’s baked goods are pretty tasty, it’s just… I’ve never tried it before.”

  “Me neither,” added Undyne.

  “Same.” Sans raised a bony hand.

  “I know I have not,” Toriel said. “Then who amongst us has tried Muffet’s spider pastries?”

  The table became eerily quiet. Then, slowly, all eyes were drawn to the only human present. Fleck could only stare back in solid silence at the whites in Sans’s eye sockets, Asgore’s soft pupils, and Undyne’s remaining, yellow eye. It became painfully obvious who they had selected to act as their human guinea pig.

  Fleck turned from their eyes to the open bags of arachnid-based treats, amazed that the words ‘arachnid’ and ‘treats’ were just used in the same sentence. They reached out, selected a roll from the assortment and then let it hover, contemplating whether to go through with it again or not. Fleck exhaled slowly, inhaled sharp, then took a bite out of the roll. After only a few chews, their face lit up. Despite the initial disturbing image, it was not bad at all.

  With everything all set out, the feast began. Asgore overloaded his paper plate with a little bit of everything. Everyone gave the spider treats a shot, and they found them to be rather tasty. Papyrus’s trademark spaghetti-Es even got some takers. Sans more so kept to his supply of bottles and jars, all while texting messages to Toriel from under the table; a never-ending volley of skeleton-related puns, back and forth like a tennis match. Papyrus would comment, but he was glad that he did not have to listen to the horrible jokes for once. Alphys pulled out her phone, took a selfie of all of them and immediately updated her status: Picnic with the friends. She then took of selfie of herself and Undyne and did the same thing: Dinner with the girlfriend (for real this time).

  “So, Undyne,” Asgore spoke after swallowing some lasagne, “you still been keeping active these days?”

  Undyne mumbled with a mouth full, “You bet I am!”

  “Now more than ever,” Alphys said. “There’s so many more activities on the surface than in the Underground, and she’s doing them all.” She began to count with her fingers. “Jogging, swimming, weightlifting, soccer, tennis, skiing, football, basketball, ice hockey, the list goes on and she’s awesome at all of them.”

  Undyne let out a great, big smile. “Uh, yeah! Totally!” A bead of sweat formed on her head. Her smile faded. “No… I’m not good at all of them. I have been struggling a bit with… cycling.”

  “Cycling?” Asgore repeated. He took the stainless steel flask and poured himself some more tea. “Oh, of course, you’ve never rode a bike in your life. I bet that must be a new experience for you.”

  “It’s been… something. That’s for sure.”

  Alphys spoke. “Yeah. I’ve even been helping her learn. Undyne’s still a bit shaky, but she’s definitely improving. We bought this cute, little pink bicycle—”

  “Alphys…?” Undyne glanced at her.

  “—it has a pair of stabilisers—”

  “Alphys…”

  “—and these adorable tassels on the handlebars—”

  “Alphys.”

  “—we go to the park and I guide Undyne up and down the field while she’s wearing her pony helmet and matching elbow pads—”

  “Alphys!”

  “—and she’s practicing among all these kids and their parents are taking photos of them laughing at Undyne—”

  “ALPHYS!”

  Alphys stopped talking. She turned to Undyne and noticed her narrow pupil, show of shark-like teeth, the sweat glistening off her forehead, and the veins pulsating on her neck. Seeing Undyne sweat made her sweat. “Something tells me I’ve said too much…”

  “You think?” Undyne hissed through closed, yellow choppers.

  It was too late to tell everybody not to think about it, because the scene was set, and they were thinking about it. Undyne – the former leader of the now disbanded Royal Guard – wearing a pony helmet and pony elbow pads, riding on a pink bike with training wheels and tassels, riding among children and having her picture taken by the dozens of parents present.

  Fleck said that it sounded like the most adorable thing they have ever heard.

  A tear threatened to escape from Papyrus’s empty eyes. “The cuteness in overloading my brain. And yes, skeletons have brains.”

  Asgore murmured. “That’s nice, Undyne. Keep it up and you’ll be cycling the tours in no time.” His eyes switched to his former royal scientist. “Alphys, what have you been doing these past few weeks?”

  “Not too much,” Alphys said. “The new house Undyne and I moved into has a basement. I’ve been using that as a new lab to work on some new experiments.”

  Fleck looked at Alphys suddenly, startled by the thought of experiments in an underground laboratory.

  Alphys quickly shook her head. “No, no, no. No more living experiments. Trust me, after what happened last time, I am done with testing on living things. Period. In my free time, I’ve been working on some plans that I’ve been itching to try; electronics, gizmos, that sort of stuff.”

  After the banquet was done and there was nothing left – nothing edible left anyway – they realised that there was nothing for dessert. As if an alarm has been signalled, the Nice Cream Guy rolled up to the picnic spot with his warming smile and his frosty stall. The sun was bright and the breeze was warm, perfect for a chilly treat. The used wrappers held words of encouragement: ‘Here’s looking at you, Kid,’ and ‘your human hair looks especially lovely today,’ and ‘the world is a wonderful place with you in it,’ and an overly elaborate sketch of a thumbs up.

  “So, Papyrus, how have things been on your end?” Toriel asked, tapping the empty lolly stick on the table.

  “You mean besides me not getting into the Royal Guard? Quite swimmingly, in fact. I’m on my way to setting a new world record, most number of times driven around a city. And Sans here has taken several part-time jobs.”

  “Working hard as always, eh, Sans?” said Undyne.

  Sans shrugged. “Somebody’s gotta pay the bills.”

  “He’s been spotted napping at every single one,” Papyrus said. “At the s
ame time, I may add.”

  While they conversed, the dog families and the amalgamate that brought them together strolled past, having come from the Underground. Endogeny had a few suitcases stuck in their gelatinous frame. Despite freedom being mere footsteps away, there were some inhabitants of the Underground who chose not to leave. They had comfy homes and families there, and found the thought of moving daunting. They knew that they could leave whenever they wanted; some of them had jobs on the surface, and some of them left to go on holiday, like the dogs were right there. The dog family were on their way to Spain, somewhere nice of hot, and somewhere they can escape from the constant cold of Snowdin.

  While many monsters had left the Underground, there were talks among the humans of those wanting to enter. Organisations were already considering establishing routine tours through the Underground, and some even turning the place into a vacation resort itself. Why travel halfway across the world when you can experience such amazing wonders right on your doorstep? Archaeology in the ruins. Skiing down the slopes of Snowdinn. Swamp life and underwater adventures in Waterfall. Hot tubs and saunas in Hotland. Already, people had reviewed that the underground has great sights, great culture, and great people, making it a prime spot for future tourism.

  It could not have been more perfect, thought Fleck. There was peace once more. No hate. No discrimination. Endless opportunities on the horizon. A future for the monsters. Everyone was happy. Everyone was free.

  Everyone, except one…

  * * *

  Sans raced across the clearing and tossed the Frisbee that was in his hands. The disc span through the air, towards Fleck. Fleck raced across the field, jumped as high as they could and snatched the Flying disc from the air, landing with a roll. Fleck got up, a smile plastered on their face and strands of grass stuck in their hair and clothes.

  Fleck eyed Sans from many meters away. The laid-back skeleton stood there, waiting. His bony hands stuffed in the pockets of his hoodie. Fleck pulled back the disc and flung it, cutting a path toward Sans. Sans did not move a muscle, mainly because he had no muscles to move. He watched in smiling silent as the disc span over and across to his right. A single bone materialised from thin air. The joint snagged the disc by the brim, catching it in a spinning fashion.

  “What do you think?” Sans remarked, winking. “Elite skills, huh?”

  Fleck disagreed. All while retaining their smile, the human wagged their finger and called their opponent a lazy cheater.

  “Hey, I resent that,” Sans said. “I ain’t a cheater. I’m lazy, sure, but I ain’t a cheater.”

  The Frisbee was snatched off the bone by Undyne. “You two punks are doing it all wrong,” Undyne insisted. “Let me show you how it’s done.”

  “Be my guest,” Sans said. “Just don’t break it, it’s the only one we’ve got.”

  Undyne traced her thumb around the brim, bringing it close to her side. She felt the direction of the wind and judged its strength. Her target stood a distance away, holding their hands high. Once again, Undyne found herself ready to hurl something at a human. This should be a piece of cake. Frisbees and magical spears worked the same way, right? They are just smaller and less pointy and less deadly. Undyne kicked off her heel, span in the air, and then launched the flying disc.

  Fleck barely had time to move, nor did they need to. The Frisbee shot straight over their head, ruffling their already unkempt hair. Fleck span around and caught a glimpse as it flew straight into the horizon. The human child could already hear the printing presses, printing out the headlines of a UFO invasion on tomorrow’s newspapers. First monsters, now aliens.

  “Nice throw. I think you may’ve overshot the mark a little.” Sans began to walk toward the trees on the right. “I’ll go get it.”

  Fleck watched from in the middle of the empty field as Sans strutted across to the outcrop, as Alphys, Papyrus, Asgore and Toriel laughed around the table.

  You…?

  Fleck thought that they had heard something. Faint like a whisper and soft like a warm breeze on the back of the neck. Fleck ignored it. Just the wind.

  Are… you…?

  Fleck heard it again. That was not the wind, more like breath. The human turned around, no-one there except grass and flowers.

  Where… are… you…?

  Fleck turned all the way around, fully facing the entity, yet still facing nothing but warm, summer air. To the left, the imposing stature of Mount Ebott. To the right, trees. The sounds of laughter became mute under the din of the child’s own breathing.

  Fleck… Where… are… you…?

  No-one was there, and yet something was, and it was calling their name. Fleck braved a few steps forward. Brown boots crunched on healthy grass. They expected to bump into some kind of invisible figure.

  Human. Come to me.

  The sound that started as a breeze had grown into a whisper, the hissing of a snake. Fleck stopped and stood their ground. The sun from up high dazzled their eyes, causing an unwanted irritation.

  Fleck. Come to me.

  “Fleck!”

  The sound of a real voice, Undyne’s, had snapped the human out of their trance. Fleck turned around, the sun was in their eyes. Shielding them with the palm of their hand, Fleck saw that everyone was looking at them. Sans emerged from the forest, the exact same Frisbee was in hand. That skeleton and his shortcuts.

  “Where are you going?” Undyne called out. “Did you find something?”

  Fleck realised something. The sun was in their eyes. But the sun was in their eyes when they were gazing across the empty meadow, now it was in their eyes as they looked back at their friends and family, in the complete opposite direction. Something was not just amiss, something was horribly wrong. Fleck turned back to the field, the dazzle was there. Up. There, in the sky, a spark. A star? In the daytime? It was bright and it was only getting brighter.

  There you are.

  Suddenly, a beam of pure white shot down from the star, encompassing the human child. Sans and Undyne reeled back. The others jumped from their seats as the heavens themselves reached down and grabbed their human friend.

  The Frisbee fell from Sans’s hands. “What the heck!”

  “Oh my goodness,” Toriel cried, “what is happening to Fleck?”

  Fleck felt their hold on the Earth dissipate as the ray began to pull them upwards. Fleck span around and dived away, but the beam had locked on tight, catching them before they could even hit the ground. Before the beam could carry them away, Fleck desperately reached out and grabbed two handfuls of grass. The child cried for the others to help as the grass began to snap.

  Sans acted quickly. His left eye flared. Channelling his magic, a bone erupted from the earth before Fleck just as the last blade of grass broke. Fleck grabbed it and held on for dear life. “Hold on, little buddy!”

  “We gotta save them,” Undyne screamed. She saw that the ground around the bone was breaking. By now, everyone was up and racing, but none of them would make it in time. Instinct took over, Undyne reached out and grabbed Sans, lifting him off the ground. “I won’t overshoot this time!”

  Before Sans could protest, Undyne hurled him toward Fleck. Sans flew parallel to the ground before skidding face-first the rest of the way to them. The magical bone broke free in a crumble of dirt and soil, Sans snatched the other end just in time.

  “I got’cha!” Sans hollered, staring straight into the child’s horrified face. Sans felt himself being pulled off the ground. “But who’s got me?”

  Undyne reached Sans and grabbed hold of his ankles. She was arguably the strongest amongst all of them, yet even she was no match for this phenomenon. Before it threatened to take all three of them away, Papyrus grabbed Undyne by her boots.

  “If you let go,” Undyne yelled, glancing down at Papyrus “I will come back from heaven and personally haunt you!”

  “Nyeh heh,” Papyrus cackled. “Don’t expect such from the great—” He was pulled from the ground. “—Papyruuuu
uus!”

  Toriel grabbed Papyrus, but was quickly overwhelmed by how strong the energy was. She lost her grip with one of her hands, Asgore immediately grabbed it. The former king of monsters dug his large frame into the ground, acting as an immovable anchor.

  Fleck held on to the bone. Sans held on to the bone that was being held on to by Fleck. Undyne held on to Sans. Papyrus held on to Undyne. Toriel held on to Papyrus. Asgore held on to Toriel. Alphys stood back, unsure as what to do.

  “Uh oh,” Sans shouted. The sweat brimmed on his cranium. “I’m slipping!”

  Now it was Alphys’s turn. At a speed that astounded everyone, herself included, she climbed her way to the top, passing everyone along the way. She reached Sans just in time as his grip on the bone slipped away. Alphys grabbed the end of the bone as Sans clutched her by the tail.

  “Fleck,” Alphys screamed, “I’m not letting go! Do you hear me? I’m not letting go!”

  Fleck wanted to believe that that was true, but the real truth revealed itself. Alphys’s claws were slipping on the joint.

  Dr Alphys dared to take one hand away and reached toward the human child. “Grab hold of my hand!”

  Fleck could feel their own failing grip. How they had managed to cling on was a miracle. Fleck pulled one hand away and reached for the claw. They pulled hard, inching closer and closer to the outstretched monster limb. Fleck’s finger tips brushed against Alphys’s.

  Then the bone escaped from Alphys’s grasp.

  Fleck rocketed into the sky, being carried away by a pillar of sunlight. The monster buddies recoiled back, landing in a muddled line on the plains of green. They shot their gazes upward and cried their name as they ascended further into the sky, apparently being whisked away to heaven.

  Fleck could do nothing but watch as the distance between themselves and solid ground grew larger and larger. The child passed Mount Ebott’s peak and kept going. They could see both their house and the ocean’s horizon and yet they kept going. They passed the feral clouds and yet still they rose in the channel of light.