by Nola Cross
Almost without realizing, she lifted her head, and his lips were there.
“Dez,” he murmured, his mouth a hair’s breadth from touching hers.
He hesitated for three or four heartbeats, his gaze locked with hers, and then his lips took full possession. Heated, alive, his mouth moved over hers, and as he deepened the kiss, Desi’s head spun. She let her eyes close again. There, in the cradle of his arms, with his lips so firm and urgent against hers, she had no choice but to let the past go. All the hesitation, the doubts—even the silly schoolgirl wishes—were swept away by the raw passion that overtook her.
She’d made out with a few guys, and for the most part she’d enjoyed it. But those experiences had not prepared her for the onslaught of pure sexual desire Hawk’s kisses caused. When he ran his tongue along the seam of her lips, she opened for him, an unabashed moan rising in her throat. He answered with a ragged groan, his mouth becoming even more demanding. His tongue swirled inside, exploring, plundering, turning her legs to boneless things. She wanted more, and her right hand moved up over the taut, satin skin of his belly to stroke his chest. She brushed the pad of her thumb across his nipple.
His whole body jerked as he tore his lips from hers. His eyes glittered. “What are you doing, Desiree?”
In answer, she rose on tiptoe and let her lips graze his again, strumming his nipple a second time. His breath hissed in and he bent and kissed her once more with a vengeance, his tongue driving back into her mouth. She felt his erection harden and lengthen. It was like a live thing there against her belly, and she was filled with a heady sense of power she’d never experienced before. Hawk wanted her, the way a man wanted a woman, and her touch, her kiss seemed to have a profound effect on his body.
All this time, I’ve been so afraid…
The last of her thoughts were swallowed by the rising tide of physical sensation washing through her. Her nipples tingled, and the flutter between her thighs became more pronounced. By the time he drew back from their kiss, her breath was coming in uneven gasps.
“Whoa,” he said. “We better call a halt right here, Dez, or I’m gonna lose control.”
“But why should we stop? I don’t want to.”
* * * *
Neither did Hawk. His cock flat-out ached with desire as Desiree’s lush body moved against his, enticing him to ignore his better judgment. Her full breasts pressed to his chest, and he wanted nothing more than to lift away that damned, nubby, red sweater and capture her plump, naked flesh in his hands.
And that was the real problem...his hands. He couldn’t touch her. No matter how much he wanted to make love to her, the experience was bound to be a fiasco until he had the full use of his hands.
Sure, there were sexual positions where hands weren’t critical. He’d been going over and over those in his mind during that torrid kiss. But for their first time together? When he really wanted to show Desiree how much he wanted her, how desirable she was? No. No way. He longed to fill her body. And to be able to thrust, a man needed leverage. He needed his hands, and he for sure needed the use of his fingers.
“I want you, Dez. You can probably feel how much.” He nuzzled along her jawline, raining little kisses on the silky brown skin just beneath her ear. She let out a sexy whimper and pressed closer. “But I want our first time together to be something special, you know?”
She shuddered a long sigh and raised her gaze to his, giving him a resigned little smile. “I guess you’re right. I’ve waited eleven years for you, Hawk. I suppose a couple more weeks won’t kill me.”
“That’s my girl.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead and stepped back. If she rubbed against him much longer, he was likely to come in his sweatpants. That was a scenario neither one of them would appreciate.
She ducked her head, then said in a quiet voice, “I’m so glad my first time will be with you, Hawk.”
It took a few seconds for her words to penetrate.
What? Shit. She’s a virgin? He should have expected that, should have known from her tentative kisses. He put his paw beneath her chin and raised her face to his. “You’ve never been with anyone?”
She shook her head. “I was waiting for you. Just like you told me to.”
What?
“I told you to? What do you mean?” An odd sensation, a little like being pulled under water, crept over him. He couldn’t quite catch his breath.
“The day you left to join the Army. Remember? You told me to wait for someone I really loved.” She smiled and shrugged. “That’s you.”
Love? Who’d said anything about love?
Sure, he was attracted to her. Wanted to fuck her more than just about anyone else he could think of, especially since they’d now resolved that whole brother-sister thing. And yeah, they had a long history together. Of course he cared what happened to her and always would. But she seemed to be turning this into something more than what it was. Into something he wasn’t at all ready for.
He scrambled for something neutral to say, but came up empty.
The shine had already left Desi’s eyes. She had that lost kid look on her face again. He wanted to kick himself.
“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way,” she said, and he could tell she was hurt. She was trying to sound casual, like his response didn’t matter. “I’m not expecting anything from you. I just meant I want my first time to—”
Her words were cut short by the ringtone of her cellphone, which still lay on the counter nearby. She pounced on it. And she wasn’t the only one relieved by the interruption. Hawk kneed a kitchen chair out from under the table and slumped into it, only half-listening to Desi’s conversation.
“Cora? Hi. Oh yeah. I got Dad’s message, I just hadn’t had a chance to call back.”
Several seconds of silence went by as Desi listened. Then: “What? You’re kidding. I had no idea things were getting that serious.”
He glanced at her face. She looked back at him, her eyes wide.
“Well, sure I can. Tracy and I are just hanging out for spring break this week, so I can be there to help you decorate Friday afternoon.” She paused a few moments, then continued. “White and silver balloons, white crepe paper. Right. I’m on it. See you then.”
She clicked off the call and set the phone down, looking shell-shocked.
“My dad’s getting married.”
“You’re kidding. Who’s the lucky lady?” Whoever it is needs her head examined.
“Cora’s daughter, Seville. You might have met her at the funeral.”
He had a vague memory of a slender, attractive, middle-aged woman with that unusual name. He hoped she was aware of what she was getting into by marrying Jordan Taylor.
“They’re having an engagement party on Saturday, a week from today. I just promised Cora I’d be there Friday afternoon to get the church reception hall decorated.”
Was it wrong that he was flooded by a sense of relief at her news? She’d insisted this morning that she intended to stay for two full weeks. Now that time period had been cut in half. From a practical standpoint it would be nice if she could stay longer. Would his hands be healed enough in just one week for him to take care of himself without her help? To tell the truth, it bothered him how much he’d already grown to rely on her in the twenty-four hours she’d been there. Add in this afternoon’s true confessions, weighing on him now like a full-sized boat anchor on an inflatable kiddy raft, and he was wracked with confusion.
What the hell do I want? As delicious and sexy as Desi was, and as much as his body craved hers, he wasn’t ready for a full-blown romantic relationship. His track record when it came to relationships of any kind was miserable—just like his dad’s—and he had no reason to think that anything was about to change that very soon.
And it was clear Desiree wasn’t the kind of girl who did casual, uncommitted sex.
The whole issue was a fucking minefield.
He watched as she brushed past him and disappeared up the stairs
, carrying her phone, her eyes downcast and cheeks still a faint pink. After a moment or two his body began to relax and he leaned back in the chair and let his eyes close. He smiled as he remembered the tremble in her body, the shy-but-eager way her lips had pressed to his. Oh yeah, she’s a virgin all right.
Out of nowhere a crazy, protective feeling surged through him. He was back on that porch eleven years ago, telling her goodbye, warning her to be careful. And then he was hit by the irony of it all. Desi wanted and deserved much more than he could offer her. She needed a champion, a guardian if you will...against guys like himself.
For Desi, I can stay strong for six short days.
Right?
Chapter 11
“So what do you think?” Desi asked as she pulled the fork from Hawk’s lips.
A thick residue of awkwardness still hung in the space between them, but he seemed to be doing his best to ignore it.
He chewed, looking thoughtful, then swallowed and smiled. “Every bit as good as Dovie’s. Maybe better.”
“Thanks. But it’s good she can’t hear you say that. She’d be crushed. Her fudge cake won the blue ribbon at the Multnomah County Fair five years in a row, you know. It was a very big deal to her.”
“I’m not surprised she won. Her cake was killer.”
She fed him another bite, being careful not to touch him, and then held a glass of cold milk to his lips while he took noisy slurps. Night had fallen, and they sat side by side on the couch, with Norman snuggled next to Hawk on the broad, padded arm. Hawk had spent the evening watching sit-coms while she kept herself busy in the kitchen.
But first she’d had to suck it up and make the dreaded call to her dad. If she was going to stay another six days, she had no choice but to come clean. It had been silly to think she and Tracy could continue their charade for two full weeks, but Desi had hoped he was distracted enough by his varied love life not to notice her absence. The call from Cora had changed all that.
After escaping the kitchen, Desi had climbed the stairs, closed the door to the small guest room and sat down on the bed, hugging the quilt around her shoulders as she dialed her home number.
Jordan Taylor wasn’t happy to hear the truth.
“What do you mean you’re in Tacoma? I thought you were at Tracy’s. Why the hell are you in Tacoma?”
“I’m taking care of Hawk. He burned his hands and needs help to do everything.” She took a breath and rushed on. “Remember how great he was to us when Dovie died? I kind of felt like we owed him, Dad.”
There was a long pause.
“You’re staying with Ironcloud?”
“Yes. He can’t even take his pain medication on his own.”
“He lives alone? It’s just the two of you?”
“There’s a neighbor lady who stops by and a nurse who comes once a day to change his dressings.”
“I see. You think it’s okay to lie to your old man, Desiree?”
“I’m sorry, Dad. But hey, I’m getting in some great nursing practice.”
His voice rose. “I don’t like it. A girl your age has no business being under the same roof with someone like him.”
“What do you mean? Hawk has always been like a brother to me.” She pretended outrage at her father’s insinuation, all the while blushing as she remembered the response of that thing as it had pressed against her belly only moments before.
“I want you home,” he growled.
“I’m staying,” she said, her pulse pounding in her ears. It was the first time she had directly defied her father’s wishes. “I promised Cora I’d come home Friday to help decorate for the party, but until then I am staying to help Hawk. He needs me.”
“I said I don’t like it. You come on home.”
“I will, Dad. I’ll come home Friday, like I promised.”
“Well…you be careful, you hear? And you be here early in the day, by noon.”
She couldn’t believe it! He was backing down. Her heart raced at the heady realization that she had broken the old pattern between them. She could forge her own path from now on, do what she wanted.
“I will. I’ll be there by noon. And congratulations by the way, to you and Seville.”
“What? Oh yeah. Thanks.”
Her feeling of elation lasted as she stopped in the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face, but began to fade as she descended the stairs. When she’d left the kitchen to make the call, Hawk had been sprawled in one of the straight-backed chairs, his eyes closed. Would he be waiting there for her, ready to continue their conversation where they’d left off? Her pulse rocketed at the thought. What more was there to say? He’d made it pretty clear his desires weren’t in sync with hers.
To her vast relief, she spotted him in the recliner in the living room, staring at the TV, the colorful afghan draped over his body. As she went to the kitchen and began to assemble the cake ingredients, she tried not to think about the warm velvet of his chest and the way his nipple had pebbled under her thumb. She tried not to remember the surging demand of his mouth on hers or the way his tongue had set off all kinds of new sensations deep in the core of her body.
The whole time she was putting the recipe together, she kept replaying that awful moment when she’d said the ‘L’ word and he’d gone all silent. If she’d felt like a dumb schoolgirl before, now it was as if her naïveté was a flashing neon sign on her forehead. How stupid could she have been? Hawk was a grown man, handsome, experienced, and successful. No doubt he could have just about any woman he wanted. And even though he’d been pretty clear about wanting her—for sex at least—that didn’t mean he was at all interested in the rest of her fairytale expectations.
As she took the cake from the oven and poured the rich, hot fudge sauce over the top, letting it soak in, she bit her lip and made a solemn resolution. From now on she’d go right back to being all business. Nice Nancy Nurse. That’s what Tracy had called her, and that’s what she’d be. For the next six days, her plan was to live up to that name and forget everything else. She owed Hawk that, at the very least.
That resolve carried her now as she sat next to him, feeding him the cake she’d made. She decided not to notice when the afghan slipped down, revealing the smooth muscles of his pecs and abs. Averting her face, she used the tines of the fork to gather the last few crumbs of chocolate from his plate.
“That’s all for now,” she said, forcing a light tone as she slid the clean fork out of his mouth. “More milk?”
“Please.”
She held the glass to his lips again, but kept her eyes turned from his.
“Dez?” He had pulled back and was staring straight at her, his brows drawn together, his mouth a thin line. “About what happened earlier…”
Her face burst into flame. “Don’t worry about it,” she said in a rush. “It was all a misunderstanding.” She stood, the glass and plate clutched in her hands.
“No. I owe you a big apology. I shouldn’t have been eavesdropping on you and Tracy. And I had no right to cross that line and kiss you. The last thing I want is for things to get complicated between us.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “I—I shouldn’t have kissed you back.”
Relief and disappointment mingled in her heart as he stood to face her. The afghan fell to the floor, leaving her oddly breathless.
“Friends?” He gave her a hopeful grin.
“Friends for sure. You’re not getting rid of me ’til next Friday. I’m your nurse, remember?” She hoped he couldn’t hear the little tremble in her voice.
“Good. Good. And I was thinking that Monday morning I need to go check in at the garage, just to make sure everything is up to snuff. Would you be willing to drive me?”
“Of course.”
“Great. I appreciate it.”
* * * *
The nurse who came the next morning was not Sarah Markham. Hawk breathed a sigh of relief as a tall, sour-faced young woman introduced herself to Desi at the door. She wouldn’t
be able to compare his hands to how they’d looked yesterday morning, so his misguided adventure in the shower might go undetected another day.
“I’m Madelyn Smith, RN. I’m the home health nurse who’ll be seeing Mr. Ironcloud today.”
“Hello. I’m Desiree. Please come in. We were expecting Sarah.”
“Nurse Markham is on another assignment today. Where is my patient?”
Hawk stepped into the hallway. The woman gave him a startled glance, probably because he was still shirtless. Her cheeks turned an unfortunate splotchy pink as she dropped her gaze to the small clipboard she carried. After a moment she cleared her throat.
“I see you’ve been following Nurse Markham’s orders to leave your chest uncovered.” She drew herself up and took a deep breath, then peered through the open kitchen door. “Shall we sit at that table to do the dressing change?”
They followed her into the kitchen and Hawk sat down, laying his hands palms-up on the table. The woman seated herself across from him and opened her bag, which was much sleeker and newer than Sarah’s satchel. There was no friendly patter as she used her shears to cut away the bandages. Without saying a word she applied antiseptic gel and rewrapped his hands, then made a few notes on the clipboard. After a moment she stood and gathered her supplies.
“Nurse Markham will be back tomorrow. Continue with your home care as directed. It was nice meeting you.” She marched to the door and stood waiting for Desiree to let her out.
Desi shut the door and turned toward him.
“I can’t believe it. You got away clean,” she said with a grin. “I thought for sure Sarah was going to throw a fit.”
He grinned back. “I live to fight another day.”
