by Wyatt, Dani
“Yep. I didn’t know shit. It was just the way it was done. I arranged for her to marry your stepfather. He was part of our family — the business family, you get that? — back there. Pregnant, unwed, Irish Catholic girl would not fare well on her own. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
Mac’s eyes looked out the window at nothing.
“You were trying to take care of her.” Lilly reached over to put her hand on his as she saw his eyes glaze over.
“No.” Mac jerked his hand back to shove his plate to the center of the table. “I did what I thought I should do. I didn’t think about it, I just did it. Your father loved Abigail. He would have taken care of her, raised you. But, I was the one, I said no. He changed after that. Hardened into what you see now. Before, he had at least part of a heart. Not a great quality in our business, but nevertheless, it was just how he was wired. After that, he changed. He turned. It’s one of my biggest regrets. Sending her — both of you — away.”
“It’s okay. You did what you thought was best.”
“No, I did what was expected. That’s my point.” He slammed a flat hand down on the table and the china plates and flatware jumped and clanked. “You do what’s expected of you, you won’t be you anymore. You’ll change, too. You can’t live this life and get off scot-free. You have to decide, Lilly. Do you love him?”
“Who, Colin? No, of course not.”
“NO, Flynn.”
“I don’t know. Love’s not something I’m all that familiar with. Not something that seems worth the price.”
“Ahhh, shut up with that shit. You love him, I can see it. Something’s happened. I’m not going to die and leave another black mark on this family. I don’t have any power left, you know that. But, I have one thing. One thing I’ll give you and you have to decide how to use it.”
“What is that?”
“Follow me.”
With that, Mac spun his chair like a carnival ride, giving the young woman who’d just arrived to clear their plates a slap on the behind as he pulled away.
Chapter Twenty-One
“The meatballs stopped by.” Ana leaned against the edge of Lilly’s desk.
“Yeah? What did you tell them?” Lilly wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her lips to the side and thinking of the flask in the bottom of her purse.
“I toooollldddd them, that you were having some ‘female’ problems and you were in the ladies room.” Ana cracked a smile, proud of herself. “That sent them off like rockets. You’d think they’d never heard of a period before.”
“God, really? Did you really tell them that? I just used that on them too.” Lilly smiled at the young woman who was quickly becoming a force for good in her life.
“Well, yeah, mostly. Whatever, it worked. Men hate that shit. They’ll fly over ten moons and two oceans to not have to talk about it. Gotta use it to our advantage some times.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” Ana kicked at Lilly’s shoe. “So, what happened? You are more distracted than usual.”
“You know, the more I tell you, the more likely you will regret it.”
“I regret it already. You’re a pain in the ass. I only wish I had your brain. Architecting something like this, it’s crazy. You’re a force. And, your hair. You have great hair.”
“Shut up.” Lilly kicked her back. Ana always wore the same black Doc Martins with the pink sole.
“So?”
“Uggggg! What? I can’t believe I’ve even let things go this far. I mean, even here in 2015, I’m ‘promised’ to some man, and if I don’t go through with it, all hell breaks loose and the one thing I want more than anything goes away. How can I be so selfish? It’s like he has this pull. I cannot stop thinking about him. And now it’s so much worse.”
“Now? Why? Tell me! Did you?” Ana hushed her tones and looked back toward the window, flipping off the Downey twins who always seemed to be checking up on her.
Lilly felt the blood rise in her cheeks and just as quickly rush down to settle in a metronome’s thump between her legs.
“You did! OMG. Really? Flynn? Right? Oh, my Gaaaaawd. Lilly, he’s like the most delicious man I’ve ever laid eyes on. How was it? Good, right? It was great, right?”
“Sssshhhh! Geez. I’m not telling you anything.”
Lilly’s hand slipped into the pocket of her canvas jacket, tracing the jagged edge of the key inside.
“Whatever, you don’t have to. I can seeeeee it.” Ana pointed two fingers at her own eyes then twisted them around to taunt at Lilly.
“Well, you better unsee it, because it can’t go on. It was a momentary weakness, and I’m going to end it. I have to. I don’t know why I keep tempting fate. It’s like I know it’s wrong, or if not wrong, it’s asking for a shit ton of trouble. So, I get all steely, ready to push him away, end the friendship or whatever it was before now. Then, I swear to God, he gets like three words out of his mouth, and I’m like three years old again. Like the father I never had ordering me around and I just cave. But, in such a way it’s like I never want it to stop. Uggggg, I’m so pathetic.”
“You are not. Stop. He’s got that ‘thing’. That — you know — like something that pushes you. I’ve only met him a few times, and let me tell you, there was not a pair of dry panties in the place. He’s that guy you can imagine just bossing you around, demanding you get on your knees and —”
“STOP! Okay? Really. Just stop.” Lilly chuckled and slapped Ana on the leg.
“Fine. But, don’t sell yourself short. Stranger things have happened than hooking up with your fiancé’s son and walking off into the sunset. Besides, you look happier than I’ve ever seen you. Even through that scowl, I can seeeeeee it.” She did the finger thing again and pushed herself off the desk toward the door.
“Bye.” Lilly turned to her screen, typing in her password and pushing her legs together to try to stem the growing tension. “No. Never going to happen. Damn you, Mac. Why did you just make it so much harder?”
It can’t happen, Lilly thought, the key in her pocket feeling heavier with each passing second. The thoughts of how any of this would ever play out and leave them all alive and happy swirled until the reality of that impossibility once again set in.
There are no happy endings here, girl. You just keep digging your hole deeper and deeper and your mom right along with you. Get a backbone, do as you’re told. Like mom said, it’s been done this way for a long time. People who choose to get married get divorced all the time. Make an effort and just see. Maybe you can find a glimmer of that man who showed up with a bouquet of lilies two years ago back home. You are being ungrateful. How many women would tear off their own fake nails to live this life? Cars and money and mansions. Isn’t that the American dream? Isn’t it what everyone is chasing?
She dropped the key in her pocket to reach into her bag for two items.
One she raised to her lips, took a burning draw and then another.
You have to drive. No more goons to take you home, remember.
Shut up. I’ll be fine.
“Sorry, Mac. It’s just not our time.”
She grabbed the phone Flynn gave her and dialed her mom. It would be almost midnight, but after a few humming rings, her voice answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Mom, it’s me.”
“Hello, dear. How are you?” Abigail muffled the phone as she coughed, and Lilly could hear her struggling for a breath.
“I thought about what you said. You’re right. I’ve been a complete brat to Colin. I’m going to turn over a new leaf and make an effort.”
“Well, now, that’s my Lil. You know it’s for the best, right? For you, too. Quite the life you will have there. You won’t ever have to struggle like we did. When you have children of your own, you will understand. Giving them a life like that, it’s a gift, my dear. You’ll see.”
“I know, Mom. I know. How are you? You sound bad.”
“Oh, quit worrying. I’ll be the
re soon enough, right? You’re almost done with that program, and the wedding is a month away. I’ll see you in just a few weeks, and I’ll be fine.”
Another gasping round of coughing had Lilly’s stomach wrapped in tight nylon rope.
She chatted with her mom until she was almost out of breath. She knew she didn’t have much longer.
It’s a sign. You can’t tell Flynn about that lakehouse. It’s just going to blow everything up even more. I love you, Mac, I know you mean well, but it just can’t. It’s not our time. And, he’s just more of this life. Who’s to say he won’t end up just like his father?
Mac had set the brass key in her hand only hours ago, telling her it was the last thing he really had. A cabin on the other side of the lake from Colin’s Tudor mansion. No one had wanted it, he said, too rustic. They wanted to tear it down and build some giant new McMansion, but Mac had stood his ground. It was a place he and his wife had spent so much time together, and now, he wanted it to be a place where Flynn and Lilly could get away. Figure out what was next and have time and space to themselves.
No one would ever think to look there, he said.
Lilly brought the chrome-threaded spout to her lips, the burn running down her throat and already her head began to swim.
“Here’s to what will never be.” She raised the flask, tipped it back and let the medicine run down her throat until it was empty.
***
One of the young maids was crying as she held the briefcase by the open door of the limo.
Bile rose in Flynn’s throat as Colin dragged her into the car and closed the door, knowing what was in store for her on the drive. She was so small.
Flynn waited until the long black car disappeared into traffic as Colin made his way to the airport.
Flynn knew they all came here with papers that showed their ages as eighteen, but he knew better. This little one stood still flat chested and shaking, barely fourteen if she was lucky.
When the car was gone, Flynn ducked behind the shrubs of the rose garden and into the enormous glass conservatory just below Lilly’s bedroom window.
He knew Gideon was out; he’d watched him take one of the Suburbans and leave before the limo. It was just staff and with the cat away, the mice would play, so most of them were out back smoking and talking trash — rightfully — about their boss.
Inside, he timed the security camera, moving like a Kingsman agent down the back hall by the kitchen, then up the servant stairway where they had broken the camera themselves months ago.
From there, it was just two right turns and three dead bolts, and he would be in the place where she lay each night. Tonight, where they would lay together if his Mad Hatter dick had anything to say about it.
“Okay, make the magic happen,” Flynn whispered to himself.
Flynn drew the small tool from his pocket. It was a gift from one of his new buddies at Southside, a low-level criminal who seemed intent on being everyone’s friend. So, Flynn had the master key picker and within two minutes, the door swung open and the air in the room hit him in the chest like a cannonball.
It was her, all her. Her smell grabbed him by the balls and shook his very core.
6:30.
Without Colin around, she would probably come straight up here. Grab something to eat on her way home. Good for her. She deserved real food. Fucker.
He wouldn’t know a sexy woman if one sucked his cock. Bastard only seemed to get his hard-ons for the younger-the-better.
He looked across the ruffled linens on her bed. She’d thrown her cream-colored nightgown from last night over the back of the upholstered chair by the window and it rose his dick thinking of his hands on those pearl buttons.
The room layout was like a suite at the Plaza, but Flynn knew she never watched TV, so the flatscreen on the wall was just a resting place for your eyes. The massive desk in the corner had her Mac retina monitor and a printer with papers scattered everywhere.
He walked to the bed, laying his fingers across the pillows and picking up the rust-colored, hard-bound book that peeked out from under the messy covers.
Naughty little thing. She lifted this from the guest house. ‘East of Eden’ — she likes family drama.
It was her gilded prison, and just being here raised Flynn’s hackles. He sniffed and twisted his head, imagining all the nights she lay here wondering what kind of horror show she’d ended up in.
He pulled out the phone and thought of texting her, but if she was driving, he didn’t want her putting herself in danger. He felt a tightness in his gut, a pulling that he needed to see her, talk to her. But taking care of her was his primary responsibility, so the text would have to wait.
7:22.
Where the fuck was she? She was almost always back by now.
The house was silent. Flynn read the book she stole for another twenty minutes until he couldn’t concentrate another second.
Jesus, fuck, something’s wrong. Where did she go? Fuck, taking her was exactly what she needed. But, her head’s still jacked. She may be off the rails somewhere. No more waiting, this is fucked.
Flynn’s hand was already on the bedroom door when it swung open with a thud, and Lilly practically fell like a rootless tree into him.
“OH my gooush. What are you doing here?” Her hand moved to press back her hair in an awkward exaggerated stroke.
“What the fuck.” Flynn could smell it, and that little piece of gum she was chewing wasn’t fooling anyone.
Lilly straightened her shirt and did an unsteady, cross ankle walk over toward the bathroom.
Flynn blew out a breath, shut the door and flipped two of the deadbolts closed with the tool in his pocket. They were going to need privacy for a very different reason than he had planned.
“Tell me you did not fucking drive yourself home.” Flynn felt the muscles in his back twitch, and he felt like throwing up.
Lilly fumbled with something in her purse, avoiding his eyes before she plopped down in the chair at her desk, her fingers on the keyboard.
“Did you just ignore my question? That shit is not going to fucking fly, little girl. Turn your ass around and look at me.”
Lilly didn’t move as Flynn’s nostrils started to flare like an angry stallion.
“Turn. Around.” His voice was thick, stern but controlled.
He could see the ‘fuck you’ in her eyes as she turned slowly in the desk chair and crossed her arms. It took a battalion of force to hold back from smacking that look right off her face. But, he never would hit her in anger. Never react in anger, only in a controlled power to correct when needed, like right now.
“So, did you drive?” His eyebrows raised as he closed the space between them.
“What are you doing here? In my room?” Her glazed eyes tried to focus as Flynn looked down at her.
“Answer the fucking question. Right now.”
Flynn’s hands bolted to her cheeks, raising her chin and forcing her to square with his eyes. He felt a flex in his gut like he was going to be sick. When she hurt herself, put herself in danger, it hurt him. He physically felt ill thinking she put herself in this situation and why?
“Yes. I’m fine.”
“You are very fucking far from fine.” He let her face go, and some of her bravado faded as he walked to the small refrigerator of her suite. He flipped the door open to grab her a water and suddenly his hackles rose when he saw the crystal glass sitting in the little kitchenette sink.
A bit of amber liquid still filled the bottom of the glass.
He grabbed the water, his body like a piece of tangled wire. In his other hand, he picked up the glass and gave it a quick sniff.
“This is from when? This morning?”
Lilly blinked and looked away.
“You had to drink.” It wasn’t a question.
She wasn’t in any shape for what she needed. Flynn would never touch her either in passion or correction tonight. He needed Lilly, and this altered version of her was not
her.
“Okay. Here’s what we are doing. You are drinking this.” He picked up her limp arm and placed the opened bottle of water in her hand. “Drink it.” His voice fell a few octaves when he could see that flash of defiance in her eyes.
“Where’s the booze? Do you have some now? In the room?” He looked at her like a stern father.
She took a long draw from the water bottle and pointed toward the top of the tall carved cabinet that dominated one wall.
Flynn’s arms easily reached up and over, feeling around and finding two shoe boxes, one far heavier than the other. Inside one were two empty bottles of Jameson. Inside the other was a bottle almost full.
Flynn closed his eyes while he did what he could to control his breath.
Not now, man. It’s going to have to wait until morning. Hold the train at the station, deep breath and just take care of her for tonight. Deal with this shit in the tomorrow.
“I’m over twenty-one.” Lilly smiled.
“You aren’t acting like it.” He proceeded to open the bottles and throw them neck down into the bar sink.
“Hey, that’s expensive,” Lilly said.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now? Get up.” He took her by the arm.
“Hey, let go.”
“Let go, my ass. You’re taking a shower, then I’m sitting here until you go to sleep. That’s the end of tonight’s little adventure. Tomorrow, that’s another story; you’ve got some damn shock and awe coming tomorrow. Now, come on.” He pulled at her as she leaned away but got to her feet.
“Hey, listen. Maybe it’s good you’re here. I’ve got sumthin’ to say.”
Flynn rolled his eyes. Drunk people have so much to say. Everything is so important and interesting — to them.
“What’s that?” He sat her down on the corner chair in the bathroom and turned on the jets in the white marble and glass shower big enough for a party, thinking of the many other ways he would like to be spending this time with her.
“I meant what I said today.” She kept pushing her hair behind her ears even though it was already tucked there.
“What part?”
