by J. L. Drake
“Yup, it’s when you miss your footing and your body falls.” I tucked a cold piece of hair behind my ear, avoiding his murderous stare. It took everything I had not to fall to the ground in a shivering mess.
“Get in.”
“I’m fine. I have clothes in my car. I was just going—”
He tilted his head back and looked toward the sky, holding his arms out to the sides.
“Give me strength! Between you and Savannah, I’m going to have a stroke at forty.”
Who was Savannah?
He moved around to open the passenger side door.
“Please, get in.”
I waited a few beats to calm my anger and to fuel his.
With a heavy sigh that I didn’t try to hide, I moved around to the front of his truck and placed a hand on the door and the seat.
He suddenly grabbed my hips and hoisted me inside.
“Jesus, I should’ve expected that.”
He ignored my comment and pulled off my boot to dump out the water. He did the same to the other.
“Keys?” He held out his hand with an annoyed look. Biting my tongue, I removed them from my jacket, thankful they didn’t fall out when I took my unexpected swim. I handed them to him, and he slammed the door shut.
He returned a moment later with my bag and tossed it at my feet. Once he was inside, he turned the vent to point directly at my face and blasted the heat.
I was freezing but didn’t want to act like I was. I felt seventeen all over again. Only now my stubbornness was way worse.
Finally, I tugged off my jacket. Everything was starting to fuse to my skin. Yuck, my socks felt like wet plastic bags plastered to my skin as I peeled them free. My hands shook as I attempted to yank off my jeans, but they wouldn’t budge. For the love of God! Come on!
“Here.” Keith motioned for me to turn toward him. I nearly told him off. I was so pissed at the entire situation. If it wasn’t for the fact I was about to lose my shit with my damn pants, I would have left. I should have just jumped in my car and left.
But no, I twisted my body, and his fingers wrapped around the top of the jeans and slowly pulled them down. His eyes dragged with exaggerated slowness southward over my chilly skin, and the whole time I stayed quiet. It was exquisitely intimate, and I felt my heart rate pick up. If someone were to tell me I would be okay half naked alone with Keith in his truck at this point, I would say they were insane. Yet, here we were, and now I wasn’t sure what to do or how to feel about it. Should I scream and kick or try to be civil? Funny, I couldn’t decide.
Once I was free of my pants, I pulled myself to a sitting position, not sure what to make of the moment.
“This is all too familiar.” I jammed my leg through my tights awkwardly.
He grinned, then went back to looking out the windshield. “Ahh, yes, the good old days, where everything made sense and I had you to myself.”
“Who’s fault was that?” I snapped. Really? I hated I just made that jab, but it was what I did. Anger before any other feeling. It was my shield.
His jaw locked then twitched like the hand on a clock. “It was never my intent to have you cut me out of your life.” He then closed his eyes and settled into the corner of the door.
“No,” I huffed quietly. “It was just your intent to break my heart.”
“You broke mine too.”
I held back my pity comment. After all, we weren’t children. We were two grown adults with so much baggage we could spin in circles all night. Plain and simple, we weren’t anything anymore, only a distant memory.
“Are you staying here tonight?” I needed some space before I said anything I regretted.
“If you are going to do it, Lexi, then do it.” His raspy voice seemed to come from deep in his chest. “I fought your battles all day, and could use some sleep.”
“Battles?” Oh, there’s my temper. “I never asked you to fight shit for me!”
I swore I saw a smirk.
“Okay.”
I sat up a little straighter. “Okay? That’s it?”
“Yup.”
“Are you trying to piss me off?”
“Yup.”
My head snapped back. What the hell? I twisted on the bench seat. “Why?”
I blinked, and he slid around to face me, his hands in his lap, but I could tell he wanted to touch me. Not in this life!
“Because you only know how to fight, and if that’s the only damn way to get you talking, then let’s do this.”
I hated that he knew me so well.
“I wanted a better life for us. It’s why I left in the first place.”
“Don’t.” I held up a hand. I couldn’t go that far back right now. “I can’t…don’t go there.”
I struggled to get my shoes on, opened the door, and then I hopped down and caught myself on the door. I was freezing, and it gave me a huge reality check that I only had tights on.
“Don’t go where?” Keith slammed his door shut. “To the root of our problems?” He followed me. Lord, it was cold. “Fine, let’s change directions. Then let’s talk about how your boyfriend drugs you and treats you like crap. Yeah, let’s start there.”
“Screw you.” It was a low-handed, dirty comment which made me want to get as far away as possible. “At least Juan was there for me—” I stopped myself.
“For when?” he shouted, his shoulders rising along with his anger.
Don’t, I told myself.
“For when, Lexi?” He hands went up. “For when you turned eighteen and broke your ankle, and I stayed by your side for twelve hours in the ER? For when your best friend moved away, and you two missed your chick flick marathon, and I was your stand-in date? Or when you passed your very first test in university, and we went out and celebrated?” He shook his head. “I never forgave myself for not getting home when your parents died. I wanted to, I really did, but I just couldn’t, but dammit, Lexi, I have been there for you for so much more.”
A drop of water traveled down my hair and landed on my chest. My arms wrapped around my middle. I tried to lighten my voice. His words were chipping at my armor.
“Let it go, Keith. It’s the past.”
“No,” his tone was eerie, “I waited for you all these years, only to find out my girl has reduced herself to less than a—”
I lunged forward and slapped him across the face. The moment I did it, my hands covered my mouth. Never had I ever hit anyone I loved before, and tears filled my eyes. I wanted to sob.
“Do it again,” he whispered.
I shook my head.
“Do it now.” His teeth clenched, and a vein in his neck popped.
Weakly, I shoved his arm, and his eyes held mine. He looked so different.
“I left you.”
Hey, that comment hurt. I shoved him harder.
“With only a two-day notice.”
This time I punched him in the arm, but he didn’t even flinch. My anger started to burn inside my skin, leaving wounds at every prick. I wanted him to hurt like I had been hurt.
“I should’ve called more, but I didn’t, because I didn’t know what to say.”
My eyes felt sore, and I blinked to moisten them as I shoved him even harder.
“I didn’t come home when your parents were killed.”
My fists beat his chest, and he took it. Every emotion I’d ever felt came roaring out. Tears raced down my face, one after the other. I could easily break if I wasn’t careful.
His tone turned strange, but he fought the emotion back. “And when I returned four years ago, I didn’t stick around.”
“No, you didn’t!” A sob ripped through me, rattling my composure. “You keep screwing with my emotions walking in and out of my life.”
“Say it!” he ordered over my cries.
“I hate you!” flew out of my mouth. I didn’t care because it felt so good to finally say—no, scream—the words. “I hate you!” My hair was all over the place as I took the last how many year
s of pain out on him. “I hate you, I hate you so much!”
“I know,” he whispered.
Oh, hell no! He doesn’t get me to lose it, bare my feelings, then say he knows. You don’t know shit! So you know what, that you destroyed my heart? So you know how many nights I cried with no end in sight just to gain the tiniest relief? You don’t know. You have no fucking idea!
“Do something!” My anger boiled over. I despised that he just took my punishment. This wasn’t enough! “Christ, Keith, do something!” I was barely making sense in my head. I wanted those feelings I had spent so long fighting to bury themselves back down again.
Suddenly, he snatched my flailing wrists and slammed me to the door of the truck. His lips were on mine before I could catch up. His tongue swirled around and demanded me to follow.
Fine! He wanted my body, then take it!
I pushed my morals to the wind. You want closure, here I am.
I met him with the same force. I gripped the brim of his hat and turned it around. His hips pressed into my belly, and I felt how aroused he was.
I huffed when he lifted me in the air, opened the door, and sat me down. He reached next to me and lowered the back of the seat. It unfolded into a big cushion. He climbed in over top of me and closed the door. Oh, the heat felt good.
His hands twisted in the fabric of my shirt, and he hauled it over my head. Doing the same to his, I could only reach so high before he did the rest, chucking it to the dashboard.
With some quick work, he pulled my tights down and inched them off until I was in my bra and panties.
He pushed my knees apart and shifted inward so he loomed over me. Heat followed his fingertips as they dragged down my stomach and along my pelvic bone.
Turning off all emotion, I let myself feel how good it was to be touched by someone other than Antonio.
He leaned over and hit the screen on his stereo. “The Hills” by The Weekend started to play, and it only made the ache worse.
His lightly tanned skin tugged and stretched over his muscles, and the sight of it made me clench around his sides. His dark brown eyes flashed as he blinked at my eagerness. Yes, I’m horny! Aren’t you?
I reached down and eased the pulse between my legs myself. Once my finger found the spot, I couldn’t stop. Keith watched with passion mixed with amusement, his gaze darkening with each moan that leapt from my lips. I couldn’t help but use his body to build me up, as every part of me strained for release. My breasts felt heavy and hard. I gripped my nipple and tugged. His eyes moved, and he licked his lips at my show. My skin had a thin layer of sweat, and my breathing was shallow. I was enjoying the hold I had on him. I had to admit I had dreamed of this many times.
His palm flexed on my stomach, sending a hard jolt to the center of my building climax.
His mouth tugged upward, and I arched my back and shot forward toward the sea of colors where my orgasm took me down its crazy path of pleasure.
His hand pressed harder on my stomach as I shook underneath him. He picked up the hand that I used and slipped my two fingers into his warm mouth and sucked gently. Slowly, his eyes closed and his tongue pressed to the pads of my fingers.
It was such an intimate moment that instead of enjoying the high, I let my world sneak back in. I pressed up into his chest and pushed him away.
“That shouldn’t have happened.” I flipped over onto my stomach to get up, but he grabbed me from behind and sat me back on his lap.
“Bullshit,” he hissed in my ear. “Don’t act like you don’t want me, Lexi. I can see it. Right when you’re at the peak, you have a dance in your eye. It’s your tell.” He ran his nails up my thighs, and I nearly moaned. “I know you better than you know yourself.” He brushed my hair off my shoulder and started to kiss the back of my neck. It felt good—no, amazing. My head flopped back as his fingers started to massage my sensitive parts.
Spreading my knees wide, he whispered. “Let me remind you how you like it.”
Yeah, you do that, I snickered to myself.
He lined up and gently pushed inside me at a steady rate. I shot forward, but he grabbed my hips to hold me in place. Once he was fully in, he slowed the pace and started to rub my thighs.
“Mmm,” I moaned, forgetting everything. I just followed the climax train.
Circling my hips the way I knew he liked, I was granted a little groan of his own.
His lips grazed my shoulder before he moved me forward so he could get into a better position. My hands pressed against the glass as he bucked me from behind. His teeth dragged down my spine, then moved to bite softly but deeper at my side. He pinched and twisted my nipple, and I gave in. It had been too long since I had an orgasm like that. One that made me scream without a care, made my toes curl, and made me feel every single inch of my burning skin before I burst outward into a swirl of cotton candy.
Da-mn!
I fell onto my side, hair covering my face, my breathing off the charts.
Wow.
Keith flopped down next to me, panting in opposite time. I thought you were supposed to come down from an orgasm, but I just kept floating.
I didn’t care as he tucked me into his side, and I fell into the best sleep I’ve had in years. I didn’t care because all the pent-up aggression was gone for the moment, and I wanted to enjoy it.
Mmm, bliss…
***
Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! What the hell was that sound? I willed my eyes to open and saw my phone was lit up like a Times Square between the seats. I tried to move but couldn’t. What the hell? It took me a moment before I remembered last night.
Oh shit…
He had covered us with his jacket, and we were tangled around one another.
Carefully, I slid his arm away from my center, grabbed my phone and clothes, and hopped outside. Thankfully, the parking lot was empty so no one saw my bare ass as I stumbled to get my tights back on.
Lord, I was classy.
“Shit.” Sixteen missed calls from Antonio and eight from Elliot. Nervously I pressed play on the first voice message.
My eyes squeezed shut as his words lashed hard and deep. Then he pulled his dirty card, and I knew what I had to do. Taking a breather, I fought the urge to run to Keith and tell him everything, let him save me like he wanted to, but…this was my mess I needed to fix. Besides, how did I know he wouldn’t make me fall in love with him and ditch me again? My wounds might have been old, but they were still raw, and I had spent too long clinging to the pain to help me move forward. To run back backward now would be weak. I was not weak. I had this.
Jamming my arms through my shirt, I finger combed my hair and saw my stressed out reflection in the window. Though I still looked youthful, my soul felt old and worn out. Not much longer, Lexi.
Thank God Keith didn’t know how I left things with Antonio.
Trying to be quiet, I opened the door and started searching for my keys.
“Sneaking out?” I jumped at the unexpected sound of his voice.
“Sneaking out would imply I belonged here.”
“You do.”
Ignoring him, I tossed everything out of his center console. “Where are my keys? I need to leave.”
“Back to Antonio?” He propped himself up on one elbow and rubbed his sleepy eyes.
“Yeah.”
“No.”
My gaze snapped over to his. Pardon?
“No way! He’s insane!”
I felt my switch click, and I was back to my normal self again.
“Yeah.” I laughed a little. “He is.” My hand moved under the seat and around the carpet. “I’m not worried.”
“I am!” His voice nearly shook the windows.
I closed my eyes, begging my feisty side to settle down.
“I know you’re worried—”
“Right now I’m flippin’ pissed!”
I shook my head, ignoring him, and went back to my search.
“Tell me something, Lexi.” His voice had a warning to i
t. “Did you feel anything between us last night?”
“What I felt was my needs being taken care of.”
“Don’t lie to me, Lexi. I can tell when you do.”
I licked my lips, which made his gaze drop to them. The truck felt warm and small as he stared at me, tempting me to lie.
“Things are—”
He quickly shifted and pulled me onto the seat. “Fucked up?” he growled before he grabbed my face and kissed me breathless. He tasted like mint, and I couldn’t help but lose myself, but only for a few minutes. I hated that he felt like home, the kind of comfort only he could remind me of.
I heard Antonio in the back of my mind and I snapped out of it…and pulled quickly away.
“Stop.” I could barely form a thought.
“Lexi, what is going on with you?” One of his hands cupped my face. “Tell me you feel something.”
“I did,” I whispered before I realized what I said. I could lie well.
I saw the hurt but ignored it. Like he ignored me when I begged him to stay.
“Why are you running back to him?”
“Because I love him.”
“No, you’re scared, and you let him order you around—”
My back straightened as I shuffled back.
“I do not!” My head was foggy. I needed to be alone to get my thoughts in order. I put some space between us. I needed distance to do this. He was about to mess everything up. “Keith, we aren’t together anymore. That was just some dumb high school crush.”
“Once upon a time, you promised me you wouldn’t lie, Lexi.”
“And you promised me you wouldn’t leave. So I guess we’re both lying again!”
I grabbed my bag and spotted my keys before I jumped out.
“Go home, Keith. I don’t want to be saved.” I slammed the door and squeezed my eyes shut. The last thing I needed was Antonio showing up here looking for me and finding out I wasn’t alone.
I felt sick the whole way back to the clubhouse. I couldn’t let Keith ruin this. I didn’t want him involved and getting hurt. I wasn’t stupid enough to think he would let it go either. God, what a mess. Passing the 106 freeway made my skin twitch. What if I just left? Would he really do what he said he would? Would he hurt…
