I Need You Here

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  You need to make your move, man. You may never get a chance to talk to her again. My subconscious was right. I needed to talk with her now, or I might lose the opportunity. I knew one of Marissa’s roommates was supposed to be getting married, while the other’s new job was taking her out of Orlando. I didn’t know which thought scared me more, that she might be the one engaged, or the one leaving.

  I tapped her lightly on the shoulder. She turned quickly, her eyes wide in surprise. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m Dane’s brother, Rafe.” I extended my hand and was surprised by the electrical charge that ran up my arm when her skin touched mine. We both seemed to jump a bit at the connection.

  Her smile was heart stopping, all perfect teeth and eyes sparkling like two rare amethyst stones. I’d never seen anyone with such pale violet irises, rimmed with a rich plum. They looked amazing with her fair porcelain skin and long blonde hair. My heart felt like it might beat right out of my chest. How was it that I finally found someone that made my heart skip a beat?

  “Hi, Rafe. It’s nice to meet you, I’m Dawn, Marissa’s now former roommate.” Her eyes looked behind me and around the area, before she returned her puzzled gaze to mine. “Is there something you need?”

  This was embarrassing. I rarely had trouble approaching women, and it had been a long time since I’d been at a loss for words. It was usually very easy to find a ready and willing female, but with Dawn, I felt like a fish out of water.

  She shook her head and started to walk toward her car, when I finally yelled, “No, please don’t go.”

  I watched as Dawn opened her car door, took off her cap and gown and tossed it into the backseat, revealing a low cut little black dress. It hugged her voluptuous breasts, dipped in at the waist then flared out at her hips, and fell an inch or two above her knee. Her beauty transfixed me, and I stood there like a bumbling idiot while trying to conceal my growing arousal.

  She started tapping her foot and crossed her arms over her chest, causing her breasts to push up even more. Lord, have mercy on me!

  “I need you to either tell me why you followed me out here, or I need to go. My family is expecting me to join them for dinner in few minutes, then I’m hitting the road—I want to get some miles under my belt.”

  It was now or never. You can do this dude. She’s just a woman, albeit unlike anyone you’ve ever encountered in your life! I took a deep breath to steady my nerves when what I needed was a good stiff drink. “I’ve never been captivated by anyone’s beauty in my life.”

  She smirked, but I took a step closer and got her attention. Her eyes looked up into mine. “I know I’ve just met you, Dawn, but something about you calls to me. I’ve never believed in love at first sight and, to be honest, I’ve never wanted to know a woman beyond a one-night stand. But with you, something’s different.”

  Her mouth opened to say something, but I put a finger over it. “Let me finish, please. I’m totally shredding my man card by declaring my feelings so openly. Allow me some dignity.”

  A smile crept across her face as one of my hands found hers and our fingers entwined. The zing I’d felt before was stronger now that we were mere inches apart. “I heard something about one of Marissa’s roommates moving away to a new job. Please tell me you’re not the one.”

  She looked sad and her gaze lowered to avoid mine. Her shoulders slumped as she admitted, “Yeah, I’m the one moving.”

  I felt a piece of my heart break away at the idea of never seeing her again. “Why couldn’t we have met sooner?” I wondered, then realizing I’d said it aloud. Oh, shit! Way to act all suave and manly.

  In an almost inaudible voice—I heard, “I wish we could’ve, too.”

  I wasn’t sure how responsive she’d be, but I stepped forward, letting the backs of my fingers smooth down the side of her face before lifting her chin. “I’d still like the chance to get to know you.”

  Her eyes finally met mine, a small tear slid down her cheek. “But —”

  I pressed her back against the car, and molded my body to hers. My free hand slipped around her waist, holding her close to me. I held her gaze and whispered, “But nothing. Marissa and Dane had their moment in the elevator to realize their souls were intertwined. I want my moment to see if you’re meant for me.”

  Her lips parted with a gasp, I shifted my mouth closer to hers, hovering a hair's breadth away from hers. My voice deepened and I said softly, but firmly, “If you don’t want this, if you don’t want to see if we belong to one another, then stop me now. I’ll only ask this once, because I need to know if you’re meant to be mine.”

  I tested her resolve by licking her bottom lip, then nipped it, and sucked it into my mouth. She moaned with desire as her body molded completely against mine. The hand at her waist rose to the nape of her neck where my hold was firm, and I passionately devoured her mouth.

  THE GENTLE ROCKING OF the bus was hypnotic, and I relaxed in the knowledge that I was putting space between Liam and me. It’d taken days to get to this point, but I finally felt safe enough to fantasize about being with Rafe.

  My mind drifted back to our first kiss. I didn’t know real passion existed outside of romances, until Marissa described the first time Dane had kissed her—in the elevator at Prescott International, no less. Boy, was I wrong! Normally, I wouldn’t allow someone to kiss me unless we’d gone on a date, but I found something about Rafe irresistible. We’d only touched our hands together twice, but in those moments I’d become a mindless ball of need. How the heck did that happen?

  One arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me to him, where I could feel the outline of his erection jutting against my stomach. He held my nape firmly as his lips teased mine, before his tongue conquered my mouth in one full swoop. Fireworks went off behind my eyelids and my hands wrapped themselves around his neck of their own volition. Every nerve ending in my body came to life as our tongues wrestled with each other.

  It wasn’t until we heard a few catcalls from passersby that we finally came up for air. I’d never had a kiss take my breath away, but he’d made me lightheaded. I guessed the feeling was mutual because he pressed his forehead to mine. His eyes never wavered from mine, and he implored, “I need to get to know you. Tell me we can call one another and try to get together from time to time. I’ve never done relationships, but for you I’d like to try, Dawn.”

  His words hit me like a ton of bricks. He didn’t do relationships? There was a big part of me that urged me not to waste my time. I’d had a few past boyfriends hurt me with their selfishness, not caring what I wanted or needed. They only cared about their own satisfaction.

  However, something about Rafe seemed genuine. I looked deep into his caramel colored eyes and saw my own reflection, my own desire to know him too. I’d probably live to regret these words, but conceded, “I must be crazy to agree to this, but okay. I agree, there’s something here; but if you ever hurt me, we’re so done. No second chances.”

  He smiled, took my head in his hands, and kissed me deeply once more. “Deal.”

  We’d just finished entering in each other’s information into our phones when my father called asking me what the holdup was. “I hate to do this Rafe, but I need to go.”

  He backed me up against my car once more, taking possession of my heart with a soul-searing kiss to end all kisses. “I’d call you, but I don’t want to distract you while you’re driving. Call me when you stop for the night? I need to know you’re safe, mi amore.”

  What the hell? Mi amore? Why on earth would he call me his love? And how did he know that I spoke Italian? This was moving a bit fast, but there was plenty of time for us to talk and get to know one another; and to see if this connection was just a fluke or if it could survive a long distance relationship. “Sure. Talk to you soon.”

  I climbed into my car and he closed the door, leaning through the open window for a final peck on the lips. “I’ll be coming back for our roommate, Ashley’s, wedding, in a few weeks. You
make sure your brother takes good care of Marissa, or he’ll have to answer to me.”

  He laughed and gave me a thousand-watt smile. “I’ll be sure to do so. You take care of yourself. And call me tonight, okay?”

  “Will do. Bye, handsome.”

  I pulled away as he yelled out, “Bye, my sexy angel.”

  I felt a warm sense of contentment, lost in my dream, when someone shook my shoulder. The elderly lady next to me asked, “Are you okay dear? You were moaning a bit in your sleep.”

  “I’m fine, ma’am.” I said a bit curtly, unhappy about being awakened.

  “I’m sorry to wake you, but wondered if you’d like a bag of chips I have. My son insisted and sent me home with snacks to eat on the bus. I can’t eat these all by myself, so would you like my chips or my granola bar?” She smiled.

  The woman was very kind and gentle. I was scared to death to talk to anyone, wondering if I’d truly managed to escape without anyone following me. “Sure. Thank you.”

  She handed me both items and I munched on them. The food felt wonderful on my empty stomach. I’d been in such a hurry to leave that I never thought about asking for any money beyond what I needed for my pick-up in Orlando. I only had enough change to buy a bottle of water at the bus station. Fear had left me with no appetite, so I’d not worried about food.

  We made small talk for a bit. When she asked if I was headed home, I kept my answer vague and simply said, “I’m going to Florida. I have family there.” It wasn’t a lie. My parents did live in the panhandle, but I wasn’t heading there. I didn’t need to bring this mess to them. Instead, I was going to the one person I knew that could help me—my best friend Marissa.

  The lady glanced at me often, her gaze questioning. Even though it was warm on the bus, and nighttime, I kept my light-weight jacket, scarf, and sunglasses on. The glasses were to hide the fact that I’d been crying. I was upset that I needed to leave everything behind, but I was also crying tears of joy that I’d made it safely onto the bus. The jacket and scarf were to hide the bruises that bastard, Liam, had left—a visible reminder of the hell in which I’d lived for the last three months.

  I pretended to sleep, so I wouldn’t have to engage her in more conversation. It wasn’t long before the bus started making its scheduled stops. Our first stop, Vidalia, Georgia, was to drop off some passengers. I’d hoped the woman would get off there, but she remained on the bus for two more stops, until we finally reached Gainesville, Florida. Many of the original passengers had disembarked by then and we’d picked up a few stragglers in the early morning hours. A paunchy older driver came on board to finish the route. Next stop, Orlando.

  I had kept my wits about me at every stop. I was afraid Liam’s men might catch up to me and pull me off the bus. I finally began to relax when the bus left the Gainesville station.

  I let the movement of the bus lull me back into a restful state and let my mind drift to one of the Skype conversations I’d had with Rafe. “Shouldn’t you be at your parents’ club tonight?”

  His gleaming smile swept across his face. “I told you I don’t want to talk about the club when I’m talking with you. You are my priority. Besides, they can deal without me tonight.”

  He looked at me intently, before asking. “Have you lost weight? Are you eating? I loved the way you looked when we met, you’re still lovely, but I’m becoming concerned.”

  “My boss has me working such long hours that I sometimes work straight through lunch or dinner.” Rafe’s mouth pinched and his eyebrows became furrowed. “Don’t look at me like that. He sometimes remembers to have food brought in for me, and a couple of others, when we’re working late. It’s more upscale than what I’m used to, since I’d been eating Ramen noodles up the ying yang.”

  He laughed. “You and Marissa both need to gain some weight. You’re both getting too scrawny. To me, you looked like a stunning Italian goddess—the ideal vision of beauty.”

  I’d felt embarrassed by his words, but they made me wonder how he talked to other women, and what his sexual experience was versus my own. I didn’t know how to approach the subject, so I just asked point blank. “I’m not sure I can be everything you need, Rafe. What if we’re finally able to spend some quality time together and discover we’re incompatible? You’re so experienced, and all I’ve done is read about that lifestyle in my romance novels, while you’ve actually lived it. What if what you like scares the shit out of me? I’ve only ever had plain old boring vanilla sex.”

  My words had come out in a rush and my heart had beat a thousand beats a minute that night, wondering if this would be the last time we talked with one another. We’d had two wonderful weeks of talking on the cell phone and sending each other flirty texts, but they weren’t enough. We finally agreed to begin using Skype, so we could gage each other’s emotions and responses by the changing expressions on each of our faces.

  “Bella, calm down. I wish I was there with you so I could hold you in my arms and we could read a favorite scene from one of your books. The fact that you’re reading about the Lifestyle indicates to me that you’re intrigued and seeking more than just the world of vanilla.” He paused for a moment contemplating something. “Actually, that gives me an idea. Why don’t you bookmark several scenes from some of your favorite books? Then you can tell me what you like, what you aren’t sure you’d like to try, and what you wouldn’t even consider, then we can discuss it—you know, compare notes. Then you’d discover my likes, wants, and needs, too.”

  I shook my head and blushed profusely. I was about to say no, when he held his hand up and said, “I won’t take no for an answer. I’ll even read some of the books with you, just give me the title and author. The very basis of a Dom/sub relationship is finding balance with your partner. We need to fully communicate our desires and needs to one another. As your Dom, my purpose is to guide you, test your limits, and fulfill your fantasies. Your goal, as my sub, is to feel so comfortable that you surrender to me completely—mind, body, and soul. When you are with the right partner your life can be indescribably fulfilling both in, and out, of the bedroom.”

  His description had me wondering. “Has that ever happened to you?”

  He shook his head. “No. Dane and Nate have found their other halves, and they’re happier than I’ve ever seen either of them. I never once thought I’d find anyone who’d make me want to feel complete. But since I met you —”

  His words trailed off and he shrugged, smiling at me wryly. I took a deep breath and decided to discuss my greatest concern. “I guess my biggest fear is how much pain you would want to inflict and how subservient you’d expect me to be. I usually resent being bossed around, and the mere idea of being tied up and hit scares the hell out of me.”

  “Dawn, I assure you I’d never do anything for which you hadn’t given permission. I’d never intentionally harm you. Some people are sadists and masochists. There are people who enjoy giving and receiving pain at our club, but no one in my family enjoys that. You’ve talked to Marissa, right?”

  His face quirked into the cutest half smile, showing the slight hint of a dimple, as his caramel eyes twinkled into the computer screen. “Yes,” I conceded.

  “Then you know that she doesn’t have any complaints. My brother likes to wield a whip, which I don’t relish ever picking up. I admit, every Dom fantasizes about using his hands, or a flogger, to turn his lover’s backside a nice pink. Most of the people I know prefer bringing their submissives pleasure. It’s all about earning your trust, and your willingness to surrender yourself into my care.”

  I knew my confusion was written all over my face. I wondered if I’d ever learn to trust him. I knew one thing, though—my panties had been soaked from just that kiss in the parking lot after graduation. He went on to elaborate. “When you feel comfortable and we do get together, we can discuss what you’re willing to try. I promise, if you don’t like something, we’ll stop and do something else.”

  Rafe held his hands up in surr
ender. “Right now, all I want is for us to get to know one another. You’ll be here in another week, so I’d like for us to go on a couple of dates. Let’s see if I can fulfill some of your deepest fantasies here in Orlando, then we’ll let things happen in their own time.”

  I knew Rafe thought he’d scared me a bit the day we’d finally discussed sex. We really didn’t talk about our sexual experiences much. He was more interested in discovering what scenes I’d read that intrigued me. We ended our conversation that night with him asking me to send an email listing some of the books I’d like him to look at. Then we could review the scenes together.

  He might have thought I was nervous, but in all actuality, I’d been aroused. I’d been thankful that he couldn’t see much below my neck. My nipples were hard and rubbed against my bra, while my panties were soaked clear through.

  The memory of that night holds a special place in my heart. None of my sexual partners had ever cared about what I wanted or needed. They’d only presumed I’d enjoy what they liked, and were interested in satisfying their own urges. It was nice to have someone focused on me for once.

  I realized how tuned in Rafe was when we were about to say our goodbyes that night. “Don’t worry about anything, mi amore. I can see the wheels turning in your head; you’re over thinking things. It’s obvious that you’ve been aroused by our conversation.”

  I remember sitting there with my mouth agape, looking dumbstruck. “How did you—?”

  A salacious smile spread across his face. “Your body language is a dead giveaway.”

  “What? You can hardly see anything except from my shoulders up.” I shook my head in denial; sure that he was pulling my leg.

  He leaned in toward the camera, his eyes half hooded as he spoke. “Bella, when we started discussing sex your shoulders were back and you had an air of authority about you. When we shifted to more intimate details, you began to hunch over a bit. I’d almost bet that your nipples are hard and erect, rubbing against the fabric of your bra and you’re trying to bring them relief by bending forward.”