Devour

by E. K. Blair

  “You okay?” he leans over and asks softly in my ear. I give him a quick smile and nod, grabbing his hand in mine.

  “So are you guys like officially a couple now or what?” Kaitlyn asks abruptly.

  I glance at Evan and the blush that creeps up his cheeks matches my own, I’m sure. He picks up my hand and kisses the back of it gently.

  “We’re anything Laney wants us to be,” he answers, his gaze locked on mine.

  Heat sweeps through me, toes to scalp, and I can barely form a thought. Do I want to be a “couple” with Evan? Yes, I do. I guess we’ve kinda always been, just without the blatant physicality, which clearly sways my vote. So, it would seem I need to establish my exact intentions with him. Do I have to go ask his father first?

  With so many after parties and invites, I wasn’t sure of our plans as we made our way to the car. His mother had been thoughtful enough to make him take her Camry, sparing me the climb into his truck in my dress. Bless Mrs. Allen, she’s always looking out for me.

  “Where are we going now?” I ask as we leave the lot.

  “Well, I figured we’d run back home and change first. I know your skin’s crawling; you’ve been in a dress for almost three hours,” he laughs.

  It’s nice that he truly knows me, saves a lot of having to explain myself. He’s like the perfect song, all said for me.

  I reach over and take his hand, lifting it to softly kiss his knuckles. He looks over at me and flashes one of his signature smiles. I can tell he’s happy and the feeling’s mutual. I settle our joined hands on my thigh. “Tonight was magical, Evan. Thank you for taking me.”

  “Ah, Laney, I should be thanking you. Tonight was perfect. You’re perfect.”

  We sit in the driveway for several minutes, just staring into each other’s eyes, the fingers of our interlaced hands teasing and stroking. I lean in first, overcome with how he makes me feel, how I feel about him. An inch from his lips I stop, letting his hot, fast breath wash over my face...I love the effect I seem to have on him.

  “I’ll race you back here,” I tease and leap out for my head start.

  Chapter Seven

  THREE LITTLE WORDS

  EVAN

  I’m running around like a crazy person, trying to change my clothes and grab all the stuff I packed for tonight. I don’t want Laney to beat me back to the car. I want to be waiting to open the door for her.

  God, she looked beautiful tonight; I hope I told her enough. I’ve waited half my life to take my princess to the ball, and it’s been perfect. I want tonight to last forever, for everything to be that of her dreams. I just pray she’ll love what I have planned.

  We’re about to start a new and very different chapter of our lives with college, and the same school plan is looking less hopeful every day. So tonight, I want to take her back to the beginning of Laney and Evan, the beginning of us. I want to remind her that we’re ingrained in one another and always will be.

  I’m taking her fishing.

  She beats me back to the car, but since we’re changed now, I tell her we’ll take my truck, so I do get to open the door for her. “Where are we going?” She asks as she gets settled in her seat.

  “You’ll see,” I wink and close her door, walking around to my side, whistling.

  It doesn’t take long before she figures out where we’re headed; we’ve driven this route a hundred times.

  Climbing out, I say, “wait for me to come around.

  We’re still in ‘I open the door’ date mode, woman.”

  She smiles and stays still, but starts in on me as I open her door. “Evan Mitchell Allen, does your dad know we have his boat out at night?” Her hands are planted firmly on her hips. She’s traded the dress in for worn jeans and boots, and her hair’s back in a ponytail; gorgeous.

  “Yes, Ma’am.” I take her hand and lead her down to where the boat is banked, helping her in. “Wait here, I’ll run back up and grab our stuff.”

  I turn back once, taking her in, sitting there sweetly with her hands in her lap, the slight ripples in the moonlight water the backdrop. I speed up my steps, wanting to get back to her.

  Once I’m boarded, I turn around and hold out the lifejacket to her. “I wouldn’t want you to fall in and drown if you hook a big one.” I give her a devious wink.

  Her eyes shoot up and she makes to shoot off a smart retort, but then I see the realization take over and her face calms. She’s on to me, but says nothing.

  “Say, Laney...” I’ve started slowly trolling us towards our favorite cove and glance over my shoulder, “You do know how to bait your own hook, right?”

  She doesn’t answer, so I turn all the way around to face her, half-expecting her to smack me, but what I see is unnerving...Laney’s got silent tears falling down her cheeks.

  I scoot quickly toward her, stopping on my knees in front of her. “What is it, baby girl?” I brush the tears away with my fingers.

  She’s barely even whispering. “It’s just...you’re just...” She stops, more tears falling.

  “Tell me.”

  “This. Us...since...well, since ever. And after this summer, who knows.”

  I can hardly hear her now, but I’m hanging on every word for dear life.

  “I don’t know how...I don’t want...” And then she looks up, right into my soul, as she finishes. “I don’t want to be without you.”

  I’ve done it. I know exactly how to reach my girl. I’ve made her realize what we are, that we have always been together and always should be.

  All of the air leaves my lungs in slow relief, years of want and wonder weighing on me gone in an instant. I move slowly up to take her in my arms. “You never have to be without me, Laney, never. All I want is you; all I’ve ever wanted is you.” I cup her face in my hands and take a deep breath. I’m shaking; I’ve waited so long.

  “Laney, I love you.”

  She lifts her head and looks dreamily into my eyes, a sweet smile pulling at her mouth. “I love you, too, Evan.”

  It’s the best thing I’ve ever heard and my heart swells in my chest. I love her more than any man has ever loved a woman, I’m sure of it. I’ve loved her since the first time her little tomboy ass smarted off to me, when she was all dirt and elbows. And now, she’s a goddess.

  I kiss her then, telling her in it everything I want to say. She opens her mouth and lets me in, brushing her tongue slowly along the length of mine. Her lips are soft and sweet, a taste all her own that I’ll crave until my dying day.

  When she runs her hands up my arms, into my hair, I growl into her mouth; I can’t stop it. God, what this girl does to me; and she doesn’t want to be without me!

  Best. Night. Ever.

  When she pulls back slightly, despite every instinct in my body, I let her. I can’t push her; I’ve already led her into a dark cove, on prom night. Good Lord, she’s probably wigging out right now! Ok, damage control.

  ”You ready to head home?” Please say no. Please say no. “Did you bring a blanket?” “Yes.”

  “Hot cocoa?” “Yes.”

  “Then I’m good.” God, I love my girl.

  Chapter Eight

  LET’S GET REAL

  Laney

  Evan and I graduated high school side by side, so excited about the future, together, but...well, I guess things really do get more difficult the older you get. College no longer sounds like “the time of my life” anymore. We finally had to face reality. My letter from the University of Georgia didn’t come.

  I’ll be going to Southern, less than an hour from home, but I’ll live there in the dorm, which is co-ed and scary as hell. Evan is, of course, headed to Athens, about five hours from home; five hours from me.

  The “new adventures” Kait keeps gushing about seem more like huge, cold hands wrapped around my throat. I don’t want to be apart from my dad, Evan, or Kaitlyn. I don’t want things to change.

  Oh, grow up, Laney! Yes, I’ve resorted to mentally chastising my own pity parties.<
br />
  “Ladybug, you hear me?” “Huh?”

  “Where you at, pretty girl?”

  I completely zoned out and missed everything Evan just said. “Sorry, you know I have to worry about things months before they happen.”

  “What’s got you worried?” he asks, frowning. “Things to come, change, my dad being all alone...”

  I sigh. Should I go on? “I don’t want us to grow apart, Evan. I’m going to miss you so much.”

  And cue the waterworks...again. When did I turn into such a girl? Oh that’s right, when he started making me feel like one.

  “Oh, please don’t cry. It kills me.” He wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer to his side. He smells like my Evan, he feels like home. “I don’t have to go, Laney. I swear. I’ll back out right now. I don’t ever want to be the reason you cry, baby.” His usual vibrant blue eyes are stormy as he places a tender, lingering kiss upon my lips.

  I know he means it, too. He’s suggested different plans and beats himself up daily that we won’t be together; life sounded perfect when we assumed I’d be going to UGA. He could red shirt at Southern, I could work and just pay to go with him, without ball, maybe walk on next season...we’ve talked about lots of options, but decided it just didn’t make sense to add the strain when classes limit our time together anyway. Not sure there’s a lesser evil, but we think we’ve picked it. I’ve had to reassure him several times that I’ll be safe. Whatever spineless guy has a crush on me here won’t stalk me to college, surely.

  I breathe his scent in deep, letting it balm my shaky soul, and try to slow my tears. I’ll never be the girl who makes him give up his future for me.

  “God no, Evan, don’t even talk like that. We’ve been through this, and I shouldn’t have brought it up again. You’re gonna go and be great, and we’ll see each other every chance we get.”

  I have more to tell him, something I’ve decided and thought a lot about. If it’s plaguing me now, imagine how it will be when he’s actually away from me. I refuse to turn into the nagging, insecure, jealous pain in his ass...I’d rather let him fly and remember the girl I am now.

  “Evan, let’s be real for a sec. I gotta get this out.”

  He looks at me like he knows I’m about to drop a bomb. Good call.

  “Let’s not turn into a cliché, let’s be open about it. We both know you’ll be the hot new football star and girls will throw themselves at you. The temptation will be a constant pressure dragging you down. One night, at a frat party, maybe you’ll get too drunk and sleep with one of them. Everyone around you will be getting laid constantly. I don’t expect you to be superhuman.” I’m being too harsh, I know it, but damnit, I want worst case scenario hashed out. I DO NOT want this to ever be my reality, sneaking up on me like I’m a naïve idiot who lives in Never Never Land. I inhale a slow, calming breath and reach out my shaky hands to embrace his. “You’ll regret it and debate whether or not to tell me. I’ll find out anyway, blah blah blah. I wouldn’t forgive it, Evan, and not only would we be over, so would our friendship. Let’s just start college as best friends, with no unrealistic commitments or expectations, and see what happens. I’d rather our eyes be open and not hurt each other. That’s not who we are; we don’t hurt each other.”

  Evan pulls back from me, jaw clinched tight. I can’t quite read his face, but it’s obvious I’ve hurt him. That’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid, a huge hurt we could never fix. He opens his mouth, but then snaps it shut, open, closed.

  ”Evan, I know I’m kinda being a bitch. And yes, I’m assuming the worst of you and putting words in your mouth, or girls in your bed, so to say, but I can’t sit back and wait to live out an episode of Gossip Girl. It would literally kill me.”

  I try to move closer to him, but he backs away from me, without a word, and walks away.

  “Evan?” My shaky voice squeaks out through the silence.

  Nothing; he just keeps walking.

  Chapter Nine

  SPEECHLESS

  EVAN

  Did that just happen? Is this real life? Of course it is, only life could pull off such sick irony.

  I’ve worked my whole life to keep my nose clean, get good grades and push myself to be the best football player I can be. And right when all that hard work starts to pay off, it jeopardizes the only thing in life I’ve worked harder for...Laney Jo Walker.

  Does she honestly believe I’d cheat on her at college? And why would she give me a free pass? Is this so she doesn’t have to stay committed to me? Of course it isn’t, she’s never even kissed another guy! What the hell is she thinking then? Why is she doing this? How do I fix it?

  This is because of her mom, it has to be. Laney doesn’t trust easily. She doesn’t put herself in any position where she sees a chance of real hurt. That’s why we’re here right now.

  I just walked away from her. I never do that, but I honestly had no idea what to say, or what not to say.

  Shouldn’t I be pissed that she thinks I’ll go all manwhore? When do I ever assume the worst of her? Never.

  I have literally never been so absolutely at a loss in my whole life. Clearly it’s time to call in back up...so I go find him.

  “Dad, can I talk to you?”

  “Sure son, what’s on your mind?”

  Turn off the TV, Dad, this is a biggie. “Um, well, it’s about Laney, and me, and...damn Dad, I just don’t even know.” There we go, got his attention now; TV off.

  “Evan, start at the beginning, son, and when you get to the part where you’re ready for my advice...stop.”

  My dad really is the most uncomplicated genius alive.

  “Well, Laney thinks that since we’ll be at different colleges, we should break up. She thinks I’ll be tempted with parties and girls and do something to hurt us forever, so she basically wants to let me off the hook now.”

  I guess I kinda get it and she’s right about the girls. I mean, they’re the same way in high school, but I barely even cared when she wasn’t mine. There’s no way I’ll care about any floozies when I finally have her to lose.

  “How could she have no faith in me, Dad? I’m not some big player, what do I do?” Come on, Dad, spit out a cure-all, please.

  “Geez, son, you set out to stump a man, you really go all out,” my dad chuckles, scratching his cheek. “Bottom line is, that sweet lil Laney is a realist. She was forced to put up a guard. She’s got the oldest soul I’ve seen, always has, and she’s brave enough to put all her fears out on the table. Gotta respect the hell outta that, cause a woman who actually tells ya what you’re doing wrong, hell, before you’ve even done it; rare breed there.” He laughs a bit, probably because he never has a clue what my mom is mad at him about.

  My dad’s right, Laney is something very special. I guess I should appreciate the fact that she’s being honest with me and telling me how she feels, because it gives me a chance to fix it.

  “Son, you know she’s right about the girls. You’re a good looking young man, new athlete on campus. They’ll be sniffing around you every chance they get. How’s she know you’ll be able to handle that? Better yet, do you know you’ll be able to handle that? You could worry the same thing about her, you know. First time living out from under her dad’s roof, first time you guys have been apart, and boys will notice her, son. Maybe you ought to cool off and see where things go? That out of sight out of mind stuff can get tricky.”

  “Dad, guys notice her now. Girls notice me now. She will never be out of my mind. I want Laney, only Laney.”

  “Yeah, I know. Now go tell her.”

  Chapter Ten

  BACKBURNER

  Laney

  I may be almost nineteen years old and about to start college, but The Fox and the Hound is a classic, and this really is therapeutic; anything Disney is, really. I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve made Evan sit through this movie; basically anytime he’d screwed up and I felt he needed a reminder of friendship. Right now I’m watching t
o remind myself. Oh, here it comes...

  “Copper, you’re my best friend.” “And you’re mine too, Tod.”

  “And we’ll always be friends forever. Won’t we?” “Yeah, forever.”

  Wait for it, wait for it....and there’s the tears. I can’t fight with Evan.

  In a few weeks he’ll be gone. There’s no way I’m spending our dwindling time together fighting. Time right now is precious. He is precious. I’m not too proud to extend the branch first, but I’m snuggly, so a text will have to do.

  Laney: Hey Tod

  ....oh I know he got it, the text and the reference. Is he really ignoring—

  Evan: Hey Copper

  Laney: You’re my best friend

  Evan: And you are mine, and so much more, forever

  Laney: Where are you?

  Evan: Sitting under your window

  Laney: Creeper

  Evan: Guilty

  Laney: Movie?

  Evan: Open up

  The window isn’t locked and he knows it. He chastises me for it constantly, but I’m actually proud he held out for once and let me come to him. I want things to be okay so badly. I hate fighting with him and feeling insecure, but I couldn’t live through him cheating on me. Cheating is more than betrayal. It’s letting a selfish, physical need take over with blatant disregard for the other person’s feelings, as if they’re of no value. If Evan ever treated me with that type of disrespect, it would change us forever. It would hurt way more than this.

  Do I want to think of him with another girl? Hell no. But thinking of him not caring if he hurts me, even for the few minutes it takes to get to the goal line hurts much worse. If we’re not “together,” not only is he not physically cheating, he’s not emotionally cheating...the ultimate deal breaker for me.

  I scoot over and make room for him, pulling down the covers. “Evan, I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want you to hurt me. Please say we’re okay.”

  I feel him sigh, reaching out his arm so I can snuggle in against him. He’s so warm and solid; this is the best spot in the whole world.