Bring Me Back

by Taryn Plendl

  Chapter 27

  ~Ally

  After breakfast, I head into my bedroom to get dressed in my coveralls so I can clear some of the snow.

  Pulling my hair back, I slip on a hat and walk out the front door. I can see footprints leading over to my garage, so I head that way. Opening the side door, I see Ian standing over a plastic tote. “Ian? What are you looking at?” I ask, walking over to stand next to him. He cautiously turns and holds out a picture frame. “Oh!” I gasp and Ian grabs my arm, fully prepared for me to have a complete breakdown, but I don’t. I just stare at the picture inside the frame.

  ***

  It is my dad, mom and me on our last vacation just months before they died. We were in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. I all but forgot about that vacation until I saw this picture. In the picture, my dad and I are getting strapped into the harnesses to go parasailing together. Mom had refused to try it, stating that someone would have to be able to keep an eye on the man driving the boat, so that dad and I didn’t become fish food.

  Dad and I both knew mom was scared of heights, so we didn’t push it. I close my eyes, remembering the exhilaration I felt as we started to climb through the air. Dad was giggling like a child, and it made me giggle. There we were, flying through the sky with huge grins on our faces and giggling like school kids. I remember the moment when we reached as high as we were going to go, and the peace we both felt as everything became so quiet. “Wow Dad!” I remember saying as I grabbed his hand. “Baby girl,” He said, looking me in the eyes. “Peace of mind should never be taken for granted. You will never understand until it is taken away from you.” Squeezing my hand he continues, “Never give up, never lose hope, don't look back at yesterday, but remember these memories, and make new ones. I love you.” My heart swells, “I love you too dad!”

  When we were set back on the boat, mom rushed us and throws her arms around us. “Mom! You should have done this! It was amazing!” I gushed. “Baby,” She said. “I feel it too, just by looking at you—I don’t need to strap myself into a harness to fly with you two!”

  ***

  When I open my eyes, I realize that I am hugging the frame to my chest and Ian is staring at me. “I’m sorry.” I whisper. Wow, how embarrassing. I turn away, setting the picture frame back on top of the plastic tote.

  When I turn around, Ian is so close that I can feel the warmth of his body. Reaching out, he takes a hold of my shoulders and gently slides one hand up to my neck. He carefully cradles my head, looking into my eyes the whole time, he leans down and kisses me so softly on the forehead, letting his lips linger there for an extra second or two before breaking our embrace. Without another word, he grabs a hold of the snow blower and pushes it out of the garage.

  I have to remind myself to breathe, after he disappears through the garage. I can’t bring myself to move until I hear the roar of the snow blower come to life.

  ***

  What was that about? I wonder as I move a few things to get to the snow shovel. My heart is still beating fast, and I have a strange tingling in my stomach as I remember how good it felt to have Ian hold me, to kiss me—something I haven’t felt in years.

  After my parents died, I couldn’t let anyone touch me or hold me. I felt like I was being smothered, like I couldn’t breathe. Eventually, everyone I knew stopped trying to touch me. I didn’t realize how much I craved it until recently with Ian. What are you doing Ally? I asked myself as I grab the shovel and head outside, looking around to deciding where to start.

  Heading toward my front porch, I notice that Ian is working a path to his house with the snow blower. He must be anxious to go home, I think. The poor guy has been staying with me since I came home from the hospital. I’m sure he probably feels a sense of obligation; after all, I didn’t really give him much of a choice by showing up on his front door step.

  Although it has been so nice to have someone around—someone who didn’t pressure me into talking about things or explaining things, someone who wasn’t afraid to show his own weaknesses—someone who could make me laugh, It’s been great, but I really need to let him get back to his own life, and the only way to do that is to let him know I don’t need him—even though I think in some way, I really do.

  ***

  I start to shovel the snow, ignoring the slight pull in my side as I do it. I am over half way done when I feel the shovel pulled out of my hands. “Ally, what are you doing?” I turn and see Ian standing with my shovel in one hand and the other hand on his hip. Cocking my head to the side I answer him. “What does it look like Ian? I’m cleaning off my porch.” I state simply, raising my eyebrows in challenge, not sure I like the tone in his voice.

  He takes his hand and drags it through his hair, damp with sweat. “Listen Ally, I don’t think you should be doing this. You’re not strong enough yet.” He says, trying to sound concerned, but it sounds more condescending to me. Feeling myself getting mad, I grab the shovel back. “I’m fine Ian, and I don’t think it is your call whether I should do this or not.” I look at his face and see the shock register, and also what looks like hurt too. I can’t give into him, if I do, he will never feel like I’m well enough for him to go home. “Ally,” He says, reaching out to me, “Look, I’m sorry, I don’t want to make you mad, I just don’t want you getting hurt.” Looking into his dark eyes, I realize why I’m really doing this. Not only am I pushing him away so he doesn’t feel any obligation to me, but I’m also doing it because I am falling for this man, and I can’t take the chance of losing someone else I care about. I need to protect myself before this gets too far.

  “Ally? Let’s go inside and talk about this.” He says grabbing my hand. Taking a step back, I look at him and shake my head. Rubbing my hands over my forehead, remembering his kiss—and how much I loved it as I do it, I begin to speak. “What are we doing Ian?” He looks confused, so I continue. “This,” Pointing between us, “Well, I think it’s time to stop playing house.” He raises his eyebrows, “Is that what you think this is Ally, a game?” I sigh, “I don’t know what it is Ian, but I just think maybe it’s time for you to go back to your own house. I’m much better now, and while I appreciate everything you’ve done, I really don’t need you here anymore.” His face turns from concerned to angry, and I mentally prepare myself for a fight, but instead he simply says, “If that’s what you want Ally. I’ll just get my things.” And he turns and walks into my house. I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut, and I can’t catch my breath. I know if I stay right here when he comes back out, I’ll cave. I have to get away, so I grab the shovel and walk back to the garage, closing the door behind me.

  Chapter 28

  ~Ian

  I can’t believe what just happened. I stand in the middle of Ally’s kitchen, not sure what to do first.

  When I saw the picture in the frame sitting on one of the totes in the garage, I couldn’t help but pick it up and examine it. She couldn’t have been too much younger than she is now, but the difference was astonishing. There was so much life in her eyes. She looked so beautiful standing with her parents in her bathing suit and harness. She had her head thrown back—laughing—and her parents were looking at her with such love. It was obvious they were all very close.

  When Ally walked in and saw what I was looking at, I was sure she would not be able to handle it, but instead she just stared at it for several minutes and then closed her eyes, hugging the picture. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Behind her pain, I had caught glimpses of that beautiful smile in the past few days. The past weeks had been some of the best in my life, and the realization of that hit me like a lightning bolt. When Ally finally opened her eyes and apologized, my heart felt so full, and I wanted so badly to take her into my arms and kiss her until both of our lips were swollen and tired. I almost did, but when she turned around, standing so close to me, I could see how vulnerable she was. As I kissed her on the forehead, I felt like all of my senses came alive. Her hair smelled like strawberries and crème, an
d her skin was so warm and soft against my lips. I had to get out of there before I took it too far, so I grabbed the snow blower and left.

  ***

  I walked around Ally’s house, picking up my things that had been so comfortably spread around, like it was natural for me to be there. I grabbed my laptop, taking one final look around and walking to the front door. As I stepped out I looked around trying to find her, but she was nowhere in sight. I walked down the steps to the path I had created to my house—the path I had only made so I could get home for some extra changes of clothes so I could stay with Ally—and started walking.

  As I entered my house, I felt lost. Looking around, nothing in here felt right. I had been here so seldom in the past two weeks that it didn’t even look familiar anymore. I had to get out of here, get my thoughts together, so I grabbed my work and my keys and decided to drive into the office.

  As I pulled out onto the main drive, I watched as Ally walked out of her garage and glance back at my retreating car. Without a second glance, she walked back to her house.

  I slammed my fist against the steering wheel. “Son of a bitch!” I yelled. I was so pissed at myself—at Ally—at everything. My life had been in the crapper for so long after I lost Laney. I felt like I had, and in the past weeks I found myself coming back alive…. and it was because of Ally. I had allowed myself to care about this girl, and after everything I had done for her, she had just kicked me to the curb as soon as she was strong enough to stand on her own feet. It seems like the more you care, the more you lose, well, if that’s the way she wants it, that’s the way it will be.

  ***

  I pull up to the office building and walk inside. My boss smiles when he sees me. “Ian! I was hoping you would make it in this week. How’d the work you had turn out?” Reaching into my bag, I pulled out several folders and handed them back to him. “Pretty good I think, but I’m ready for more.” I say smiling. I’m going to need to drown myself in work to keep my mind off of Ally. “I was hoping you would say that,” he says as we walk to his office. “I have several things that just came in. I guess my question is, how much do you want?” He asks as he points to a huge stack of folders on his desk. Smiling, tell him I’ll take it all. He shakes his head at me. “Ian, you are a motivated young man.” We put the work into a box and I carry it down to my car, promising him I’ll be back as I complete them.

  I decide to swing by the store to do a little grocery shopping. Thanksgiving was in two days, and I don’t have any food in my house since I hadn’t really been there. I needed a major stock up. I decided to buy a turkey and all the fixings—I needed some major comfort food. Turning down the cereal aisle, I saw Ronnie stocking the shelves. We had met last week when he dropped off Ally’s groceries. I think he had been pretty shocked to see me answer her door.

  “Hi Ronnie.” I say as I grab a box of Frosted Flakes from the shelf. “Oh, hi Mr. Rhodes.” He says standing and reaching out to shake my hand. “How’s Miss Ally feeling?” My heart beats a little faster, hearing her name. “Umm, she’s feeling pretty good—much better in fact—ready to stand on her own now.” I say with a smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes. He looks around, almost seeming a little nervous before he speaks again in a lower voice. “Listen I think it was really great of you to step up to take care of Miss Ally when she needed it. I know she has been through a lot with the murder and all.” I feel like I am going to black out for a moment as I lean all of my weight on my cart, but I manage to squeak out a response. “Murder?” I ask, my voice betraying me. Ronnie looks surprised and then embarrassed. “I’m…I’m sorry Mr. Rhodes, you looked like you were pretty close when I saw you both last week. Umm, I guess I… I guess I just thought she must have mentioned it.” I could tell he was mortified by saying anything, so I calmed myself before speaking again. “Ronnie, I’m sure you know what a private person Ally is,” I paused and he quickly responds before I can continue. “Of course Mr. Rhodes! I would never do or say anything that would hurt her. I accidentally overheard a conversation between my boss and Mr. Reddy from the hardware store shortly after she moved here. I shouldn’t have listened, but I couldn’t help it. I felt so bad for her; I can’t begin to imagine what she went through.” He says, shaking his head. “They were trying to figure out how to get her groceries and things out to her, so she didn’t have to come into town.” He was talking rapidly now, clearly nervous. “Later that day my boss asked me to deliver her groceries, and I was happy to help.” I sigh, “It’s okay Ronnie, I just want to remind you to be very discreet with whatever information you have about Ally, okay?” He nods, and I can tell he feels horrible. I squeeze his shoulder and continue shopping, but my stomach is sick and I cut it short so I can get out of there.

  ***

  I don’t remember the drive back, and am surprised as I realize I’m already in front of my garage. I turn the car off and look over at Ally’s house. I want so much to run over there, bang on the door and pull her into my arms, but I know she wouldn’t appreciate it.

  I have barely enough information to even venture a guess about what happened, but I need to know. I carry my groceries in, put them away and decide to do something I’m almost positive I will regret. Grabbing my laptop, I walk over to the couch and open it up, pulling up Google.

  ***

  I sat frozen in front of my computer, staring at the search results that pop up after putting “Ally Mitchell, murder” in the search box. I click on the first one; Home Invasion leaves two dead and one critically injured, and brace myself.

  September 27,2008

  Denver Police were called to the 300 block of Forest Glen Drive Friday night after a neighbor reported hearing screaming from next door.

  When Police arrived, they found two men leaving the home with a handful of papers and $20,000 in cash. The suspects pointed guns at the police and incidentally were shot and killed.

  Upon entering the home, police found the home owners, Marc and Claire Mitchell dead from gunshot wounds to the back of the head. It appeared that they had been severely beaten before ultimately being shot. The police also found the Mitchell’s 19 year old daughter, Ally Mitchell, lying in the hallway, where she had apparently crawled after also being beaten and shot in the head. She was flown to St. Anthony’s Shock Trauma Center where she remains in critical condition.

  It is believed that the suspects were after business documents and money. Further details will be reported as they come in.

  I stand up and run to the bathroom, barely making it before getting sick. Sitting back on my feet, I place my head against the cold bathtub. I knew it must have been bad. The results of the nightmares that Ally has are so tremendous, that I knew whatever haunted her was bad, but I never imagined how bad it really was. I couldn’t have.

  The information in the article was horrific. I knew the memories that Ally must live with were so much worse. I sat there trying to figure out what I should do, and then it occurred to me that in the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make. I got up and went to work on my surprise for Ally.

  Chapter 29

  ~Ally

  The last two days had been horrible. I had fallen asleep last night and had another nightmare. When I woke up, I couldn’t get myself to calm down for almost 3 hours, and wished I had Ian to hold me like he had before, rocking me and smoothing my hair as he whispered to me. How could my life change so much in only weeks? Last month I went through every day, existing. For the last few weeks I had actually started living. Ian made me want to get up, to laugh to think about life. Now I was stuck back in my own self- preservation, pushing the one person who had taken a chance on me away.

  Ian had not been over or in touch since I had sent him away. Why would he? I told him I didn’t need him, and he had believed me, walking away without looking back. He must have been relieved to have an out. I tried to get his face out of my mind. The hurt I saw in his eyes, and
then the anger. Damn it Ally! You mess everything up! I scolded myself, putting my head in my hands. I was completely lost in thought, so when the doorbell rang I almost jumped out of my skin.

  ***

  I walked to the door, wondering who could possibly be here. Ronnie had just come yesterday, so I knew it wasn’t him. Opening the door, I was immediately hit in the face with such an amazing smell. Looking over a huge box of food was a smiling Ian.

  “What on Earth?” I asked. “Umm Ally, can I come in and set this down? It’s kind of heavy.” He asked as he shuffled the box back and forth. “Oh crap! I’m sorry Ian! Come in,” I said stepping aside to let him through the door.

  “What is all of this?” I ask, pointing to the food. He cocks his head to the side, watching me carefully. “Happy Thanksgiving Ally.” He finally says. I gasp, “Thanksgiving?” He nods, laughing. “You made me Thanksgiving dinner?” I ask excitedly as I start looking through the box, not waiting for an answer. “Turkey! Mashed potatoes! Green bean casserole! Pecan pie! Oh. My. God. You made me pecan pie!” I say, jumping up and down, and then throwing myself into Ian’s arms before I even think about it.