“Thanks, I’m going to get out of your way.” I closed my laptop and stood up.
“What time is he supposed to be back?” Chaz asked and then plopped down on the sofa next to Charity which made her fall into him because he was almost three times her size.
“Like ten something,” I said and then picked up my book bag off the floor and pulled the strap up over my shoulder.
“We’re catching a midnight movie if you guys wanna hang.” Chaz said.
“I doubt it. I’m sure he’s not going to feel like leaving when he gets here but thanks anyway.” I smiled at Charity. “It was nice to meet you.” And your girl definitely does not want us to join you.
“Same here.” She mumbled. I could tell she was glad that I was leaving them.
“Zay asked me to make sure you were straight so we’ll hang around here until he gets back.”
“Thanks, but I’ll be fine.”
“And he’ll kill me if something happens so, we’ll just hang around here. You know how he is.” Chaz smiled at me and I knew that he wasn’t going to budge. I was his priority until Xavier returned. Great, now this girl is really going to hate me.
I unlocked Xavier’s door and put my laptop on his desk, dropped my purse and book bag on the floor next to it before I flipped the switch to turn the lights on. His room was neater than it usually was which I contributed to the fact that he had prepared for me being alone in it.
I kicked my shoes off and they landed in the center of the floor. His remote was already on the bed so I picked it up and turned the TV on, turned the light back off and flipped through the channels trying to find something to watch before I settled on a Cosby Show marathon. I guess this would have to keep me occupied until he got back so I balled up on my side and got comfortable. My body guard and his date were keeping watch in the living so I settled in prepared to wait for Xavier.
Xavier Lee
The dorms were quiet which was unusual even at 11 o'clock at night and I was sure that Kya was sleep by now since I was supposed to be back an hour ago. We won our game but coach decided to have a forty five minute speech about responsibilities and priorities which was pointless because the team was so hype after the win that nobody was listening which pissed him off even more. I'm pretty sure he just did stuff like that to find reasons to make us run at practice.
The main door was locked and Chaz met me in the living room along with his new girl to report that Ky was safe and sound. I had asked him to hang around until I got back because I didn’t want her to be alone in our dorm. There had been a lot of talk about a few girls being assaulted around campus and I didn’t want her there by herself. There were always too many people in and out and I needed to make sure that she was good until I got there.
It was dark inside but my door was cracked so I could hear the TV and see the light flickering from it. When I pushed my door open I found Kya balled up on my bed hugging one of my pillows so I dropped my game bag on the floor and crawled over her with one arm on each side of her body before leaned down and kissed her face to wake her up.
“What time is it?” She mumbled.
“Eleven something.” I laid down next to her.
“You smell.”
“You do realize that I just played a game right.” I slide my finger down her nose which made her frown.
“Why didn’t you shower already?”
“Coach had us hemmed up so I decided to wait until I got back.”
“Did you win?”
“Yep.”
“What was the score?”
“65-58.”
“How’d you do?”
“Alright I guess.”
“You guess? Did have a bad game?”
“It was alright, my shot was just off a little.”
“You still sore?” She asked and then placed her hand on my chest.
“Lil bit.”
“Are they sure it's not broken?”
“Yep, just a deep tissue bruise.” I kissed her again, stood up and reached behind me to grab the back of my hoodie, pulled it over my head which sent a flash of pain through me so I paused for a second and then did the same with my shirt. “I’m about to shower.”
“Yeah you do that.” Kya held her nose playfully.
I walked into my bathroom and turned the water on. “You’re not going to sleep.” I yelled from the bathroom.
“I’ll do what I can.” She yelled back.
I stuck my head out. “You’re not going to sleep Ky.” I held up my arm and looked in the mirror but couldn’t see any visible signs of an injury but it sure hurt like hell. My ribs were so sore I could barely lift my arm without flinching. This was one of the worst parts about basketball. I forever had some kind of injury but unfortunately I didn’t get the luxury of letting anything heal the way that it was truly supposed to. They just patched you up enough for you to hit the floor while you prayed that you didn't get hit in the same spot again.
“I need to get my bag out the car.” Kya was standing in the doorway of the bathroom watching me.
“I’ll get it when I’m done, I don’t want you out there this late by yourself.” I said. “Let me shower first.”
“So protective.” She said with a smirk, stepped back and pulled the door closed.
When I finished my shower Ky was sitting at my desk typing something on her laptop, she had her glasses on which she rarely ever wore because she said they made her look mousy but she actually looked cute in them.
“Whatcha doing?”
“Research paper.”
“You wanna work on mine when you’re done.”
“That would be a definite no.” She said and smiled “I hate research papers. Too much work.”
“But I’m worth it.”
“Sometimes.”
I looked in my closet found a pair of shoes and a fleece jacket so that I could get Ky’s bag out of her car.
“Where’s your key.” I asked after I had my jacket and shoes on.
Ky turned in my computer chair and looked around my room scanning for her key and then jumped up and grabbed her purse. She dug inside and pulled out a floral printed wallet with her car key attached and handed it to me.
“I’ll be right back.”
“It’s in the backseat she said,” without looking at me because she was pecking away at her laptop again.
I left my room and headed out the dorm. It was after midnight so it was pretty quiet aside from a few TVs and radios there wasn’t much going on. This time of night mostly everyone was in the game room, watching movies in the lobby or shacked up in their rooms so the halls were quite. I decided to take the stairs and use the side entrance instead of going through the lobby so that I wouldn’t get held up by anybody. When I pushed the door open the cold air hit my face and sent a chill through me so I shoved my hands in my pockets and jogged towards Kya’s car. I had seen it when Ethan and I pulled up at the dorms after the game and she was parked out near the perimeter of the parking lot which I was currently regretting because the cold air was killing me. My hair was still partially wet from my shower.
A car was pulling out of the parking lot and I thought about moving her car closer but decided it wasn’t worth it so I just unlocked the doors and grabbed her bag and threw it over my shoulder and locked it again. The way Ky packed you’d think that she had planned on staying for weeks instead of one night. I made my way back to the side entrance, swiped my id card, opened the door and jogged up the stairs until I reached my floor.
“You got a call.” Kya said the second I walked in my room. She was sitting on the edge of my bed looking angry.
“Okay, and?”
“She called three times you might want to call her back, could be important.” She said and then cut her eyes at me.
“Who is she?” I asked not really sure why.
“Tamara.”
Damn, not a good time for this. I really wasn’t in the mood to have an argument with her about somebody I had not given a
second thought to. I dropped Ky’s bag on the bed, pulled off my jacket and when I didn’t respond it pissed her off even more.
“So who is she?’
“Nobody?” Please not tonight.
“She must be somebody if she’s calling.” Kya said, grabbed her bag and started pulling stuff out of it but I’m sure she was doing it because she was mad and wasn’t really looking for anything.
“Are we really gonna do this right now?”
“Nope, if you don’t care, then I don’t care.” She said sarcastically.
“Really Ky?”
“No worries, I’m good.” She starred at me as if waiting for me to say something, but what, I don’t know.
I picked up my phone off the dresser and tossed it to her. “You know the password. I don’t have anything to hide.”
“I'm not calling her, but I do wanna know why she’s calling you and this time a night there’s really only one reason.”
“You’re right, but just because she calls doesn’t mean that I answer.” I was praying that she didn’t look at my call log from the last time that Tamara called. Please lord don’t let her go through my phone. “Don’t act like you don’t know that I had other people in my life and don’t act like you don’t know that they’re not gonna just magically disappear. Girls call, text and hell they might even show up here and there’s nothing I can do about it. Eventually they’ll get the message and stop but until then I can’t control what they do. The only thing I can control is what I do. You know that.”
“And you don’t need to act like I don’t have the right to be mad about that.” I could tell that she was hurt.
I sat down next to her. “I made a lot of mistakes and I know you don’t trust me but this isn’t going to work if you don’t try. I’m with you. Just you.” I leaned over and kissed her neck.
“I’m trying but stuff like this makes it really hard Zay.”
“I know, just promise me you’ll try.”
“I am, it’s just hard.”
I knew it was hard for her to trust me. I had been caught out there too many times before and if she had done the same thing to me I knew that I would have been gone a long time ago.
Chapter 16
Kya Renee
I don’t know why I let things like this get to me. He was right it happened all the time, girls calling, texting, randomly showing up begging for his attention. Partly because he had given it to them before and they wanted it again and some just because they were curious about what he had to offer. Either way I should be used to it but just because it happened all the time didn’t mean that I was. It made me hate him sometimes because it was unfair that I had given so much of myself and he had taken it for granted over and over again.
I really wanted to believe that this time was going to be different but with every call and every text I lost a little bit of hope that I could count on him to protect my heart. Xavier was sitting next to me on his bed trying his best to convince me that he wasn’t up to his old ways but I was currently having a hard time believing him.
“Can I ask you something?” He asked calmly.
I nodded.
“Have you ever been with anybody else?” Wow, really?
I had no idea where that came from and I defiantly wasn’t expecting it so it kind of threw me for second.
“Would it matter?” I stood grabbed all of the clothes that I had thrown on his bed and floor and began shoving them back in my bag.
“Not really.” He said and then looked at me. “I just want to know.” Yeah right!
I knew he was lying and I was certainly sure that he knew the answer before he asked the question. Well he knew about Ty any way. Our junior year during one of our many breakups I had decided I had enough and let things go too far with a guy named Ty that I had been using as a distraction to help me forget about Xavier. I know that he found out and because he nearly beat the crap of out of him during a basketball game that they had been playing together at local gym. Ty felt like he had one up on Xavier and he kept getting in his face trying to pick a fight with him and when he didn’t get the reaction that he was looking for he purposely let it slip that we had been together. Xavier lost it and jumped all over him leaving Ty with a broken jaw and a bruised ego. He never told me about it but of course it got around school even though to this day we have never once mentioned it.
There was only one other guy my freshman year of college which is why me and Tequilla don’t mix. Toni will never let me forget that bad decision and lord knows I regret it too this day but oh well you live and you learn. As far as I was concerned Xavier would never find out about that even though he really couldn’t feel any type of way about it.
“If it doesn’t matter then there’s no point in talking about it then.” I said hoping to avoid a conversation that I didn’t want to have.
“It doesn’t matter, but I still want to know.” He said looking me dead in my eyes.
“Yeah, I have.” I said bluntly. My two to your, hell I didn’t even know how many. He didn't have the right to ask.
“I guess I deserve that.” Was all he said.
I just looked at him but I didn’t say a word. He stood up moved close to me making sure his body was pressed against mine and then kissed me on my forehead. “It doesn’t matter.” He said, but I knew better. I knew him.
“Are you mad?”
“I can’t be, can I?’
Heck no, you can’t. You have no right at all to feel any type of way about it All I said was. “It’s late and this is pointless.”
“Good because I can think of much better things to do.” He buried his face in my neck and began gently kissing it.
“Good luck with that I’m going to sleep.”
“Nah, I don’t think so.”
“I really am, you’re lucky I’m even up this late.”
“Okay let me give you motivation to change your mind.” He said and then unbuttoned my jeans. I was done fighting so it was time to make up.
When I woke up the next morning, Xavier was already awake, propped up on his side next to me with his elbow on the bed and his head resting on a balled up fist. The TV was on sports center but the volume was so low that you could barely hear it.
“What time is it” I asked and the stretched.
“Eight something.”
“Why on earth are you up so early?” Xavier was never the type to wake up early unless something was bothering him.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“I definitely didn’t have that problem.” I said feeling rested even after being up past one which I rarely ever did.
“You’re welcome.” He said with an arrogant smirk and then leaned down to kiss me.
I thought about us last night and I smiled. Everything about had been so intense. I was used to him being that way but I could tell he was working overtime. I wondered if it was his way of erasing my past after being reminded about me having been with someone else or if he was just caught in his emotions but either way I had no complaints.
It almost reminded me of our first time which was actually a pretty horrible experience overall but Xavier made it worth it. He was so careful and thoughtful like he was afraid that I would break and honestly at some points I thought I would but he took his time being so patient with me. I don’t know why people talk about their first time like the heaven and earths move because if it was anything like my first time it was not an experience worth celebrating. Honestly made me never want anything remotely related to sex in my life ever again. Thank goodness Xavier the ability to change my mind simply by the way he said my name otherwise I might still only have my first time as a reference and as for us now, well let’s just say that we’ve actually perfected things in that area.
I just wished that our first time was really “ours” instead of just “mine”. I should have known that I guy like him would have reached that point long before I ever thought about it. Maybe if I hadn’t been so naive it wouldn’t have bothered me
so much when I found out that he had been with others before me. My sheltered world never once allowed me to think about it. It wasn’t until I was confronted at school by one of his past experiences asking me if he did certain things to me that he had done to her that reality hit me. She wanted to hurt me and boy did she but like always he talked his way out of it.
I couldn’t really be made could I? It wasn’t like he cheated, they were just before me but I still felt like they had a piece of him that should have belonged to only me. He told me that the others were just sex, that I would never be just sex with him and ever since then he made sure I never felt that way when we were together.
He promised that he would never give himself to anyone the way he did when he was with me. I’m sure it was just his way of trying to make me feel like I had something that the others never did or ever would but either way it worked because in my mind our experience was ours and ours alone. Silly I know but I believed him. It’s crazy what we let ourselves believe to make things seem more real. His voice pulled me out of my thoughts, “If you want a replay just ask.” He said with a smug look on his face.
“Ha ha funny, Not! I most definitely was not thinking about you.”
“It had everything to do with me, I’m just good like that whether you want to admit it or not.”
“Whatever.” I sat up and stretched again and decided to get up wash my face and brush my teeth since I apparently was not going to be allowed to go back to sleep. When I was done I laid back down next to him. “So why couldn’t you sleep?” I asked.
“Just thinking.”
“About?”
He reached over and slide his hand under my shirt and started playing with the waist band of the boy cut boxers that I was wearing by sliding his thumb under it and then lifting it to let it gently pop back around my waist.
“I’ve been thinking about trying to find my dad.”
I didn’t see that coming. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, I figure why not. I’m twenty and I don’t want anything from him so I feel like he would at least have a conversation with me.”
“That’s true. Does your aunt know how to find him?”
Kya & Xavier: It's Always Been You (Life As We Know It Book 1) Page 19
