Constant Hearts, Inspired by Jane Austen's Persuasion

by Hatch, Donna

  Very well, a game of hide and seek. She could find a hiding place that would ensure she wouldn’t be found, and enjoy some solitude.

  Amelia went to the library. Inside, she waited to let her vision adjust to the dim lighting coming from only a few candles, then curled up between a sideboard table and a display case behind a divan, looking forward to time away from all pretenses.

  “Well.”

  Something warm touched her back.

  Stifling a cry, Amelia turned her head. Her breath left in a whoosh. “Reed.”

  Chapter 2

  Reed stared at Amy kneeling within reach, his heart hammering against his ribs. She was even lovelier than before, with a fuller, riper figure, and skin still as smooth as a child’s. She sat as if rooted to the floor, her eyes darting between his like they once did when trying to divine his thoughts. Wariness had replaced their trusting innocence of bygone years.

  He fisted his hands lest he do something stupid, like shake her shoulders and shout.

  Or haul her against him and kiss her until the years melted away.

  “Forgive me,” she said breathlessly. “I didn’t realize anyone else was here.”

  “Sorry to disappoint.” He didn’t bother to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

  She stilled. “I’ll leave.”

  “Perhaps that would be best.”

  She didn’t move.

  Neither did he.

  Bound in a spell woven around them, they sat on the floor of the library locked in each other’s gaze. The air crackled with the kind of electricity that comes with a thunderstorm. His focus fell to that luscious mouth that had tempted him years ago, lips she’d said were too full but which he’d always found utterly delicious. Her perfume curled around him, a heady blend of innocent rose and seductive jasmine.

  “Amy,” he whispered.

  Caught by an irresistible force, Reed touched her smooth cheek, caressing back and forth, then he cradled her face in his hands.

  She closed her eyes and tilted her face up toward his.

  So tempting, so lovely.

  He leaned in and brushed his mouth over hers. Tingles spread outward, immersing him in a long-absent warmth.

  She let out a tiny sigh. He lowered his head and kissed her again, tugging gently. Her lips, unbearably soft and welcoming, filled him with intoxicating desire. As warmth turned to aching heat, he devoured her mouth, pouring out long-suppressed passion.

  She slid her arms around him, one hand touching that sensitive place at the back of his neck. He crushed her to him as their mouths sought to regain the lost years, to repair broken hearts and shattered dreams.

  Laughter and voices outside the door brought Reed back to consciousness. He ended the kiss and pulled away. Without her in his arms, cold seeped into his soul.

  Her moist and swollen lips parted, and she let out a sob. A tear fell from each eye. Reed watched, mesmerized, as they trickled down her cheeks. How had he hurt her?

  “Oh, how I’ve missed you,” she whispered.

  Reed almost cursed out loud. He’d just opened himself up to further pain and rejection by the very women who’d nearly destroyed him years ago, a mistake he would not make a second time. Reed snapped his head back and looked down at her with contempt. “Really? Was that before or after you raced to the altar with another man?”

  She flinched at his venomous tone. Another tear fell. “Since I bade you farewell.”

  He summoned every drop of scorn in his voice that he could muster. All those long, lonely nights, those days without hope, the utter emptiness, surged through him in hot bitterness. “That was your choice, madam, not mine.”

  “I was trying to do the right thing. What could I do? I wasn’t old enough to marry without Uncle’s permission, and I couldn’t bear the scandal of an elopement. I just…couldn’t go against my family’s wishes.”

  I would have waited for you, he wanted to shout, but he held his tongue. Betraying how badly his heart ached for her even now would not serve.

  It was ironic, really, that she’d wished to avoid scandal by marrying him, only to find it with the man she’d married.

  “So you wed someone of whom your uncle approved. Have you ever regretted that?”

  The bloom faded from her cheeks. “Daily. From the beginning.” She lifted her chin and a hard glint came into her eyes. “No doubt you heard about my divorce.”

  “I did.” The papers had spared no detail of the whole ugly affair.

  “I suppose you think I received what I deserved.”

  No one deserved what she’d received, but Reed fortified the barrier around his heart. “You might have regretted marrying me as well. Following the drum is a hard life. At least with him, you had everything money could buy. And you had your precious social approval.” He stood. “I’ll find another hiding place and leave you this one.”

  He left the library and closed the door behind him. In the next room, he leaned against the door, trying to remember to breathe, and pressed the heels of his shaking hands into his eyes. The shock of seeing Amy again left his insides swirling in a chaotic maelstrom. She was just as beautiful, but heartache had left its mark upon her. The shadow in her eyes reflected the same look he’d seen on countless wounded men brought in from the battlefield. Though he’d been the personal surgeon of a general on the peninsula, he’d lent a hand after each battle rather than sitting idly by and watching men suffer as they waited to receive medical aid. He’d seen more human misery than he’d ever thought possible. To find that same misery in Amy’s eyes smote him to the heart.

  Reed pushed off from the door and made himself walk across the room. He’d left another piece of his heart in the library, but refused to go back in there. She’d rejected him years ago. He wouldn’t give her the pleasure of doing it again.

  But, as he already knew too well, resentment was a cold bedfellow, and he feared he’d never be warm again.

  Chapter 3

  Amelia paused, her fork suspended halfway to her mouth, and blinked across the breakfast table at her aunt. “You want me to what?”

  “Ask Dr. St. Ives for a sleep remedy for me.”

  Amelia let out an un-lady-like snort. “I’d hoped I’d heard you wrong. He’s a surgeon, not a physician. Besides, if you’re not sleeping well, ask your own doctor.” Although she strongly suspected the only cure Aunt Millie sought was one for Amelia’s wounded heart.

  Aunt Millie made a dismissive wave. “My physician will just prescribe laudanum. I’m losing confidence in him. I want a fresh new opinion.”

  “Then seek another doctor in London.” Amelia rubbed the space between her eyes. She couldn’t bear the thought of giving Reed a new opportunity to reject her. “I have located five new sponsors for the orphanage, and have much to do.”

  Aunt Millie pouted. “I don’t want to see another doctor. I want to hear what Dr. St. Ives has to say. Lady Evensley said he gave her some tea that made her sleep like a child, and I want some.”

  “Then ask him for it.”

  “I can’t. I promised to help a friend with her guest list this morning, and this afternoon I’m meeting someone else at the museum. Tonight is the musicale. I simply haven’t the time, and if I don’t start getting a decent night’s sleep, I’ll develop bags under my eyes.”

  Amelia regarded her suspiciously. “You don’t look as if you’ve been suffering from lack of sleep.”

  “I feel positively dreadful.” Her tone revealed exactly the opposite. “Amelia, please? Won’t you do this one thing for me?”

  Aunt Millie gave her such sad, pleading eyes that Amelia let out a long-suffering sigh. She pushed away her plate without finishing her breakfast. “Very well. You make me feel a beast for refusing you.”

  Aunt Millie laughed softly. “I knew I could count on you, dearest.” She delicately decorated her bread with jam as if she were working on a painting. “I hear he’s staying at his brother’s house. Do you know the place?”

  “Yes, Aunt.
But I feel positively manipulated.”

  Aunt Millie smiled. “I love you, too, dear.”

  “I’m to present the new plan to the board of directors at the orphanage this morning, so I’ll pay a call to your new favorite doctor this afternoon. And hope he doesn’t throw me out.”

  “You’re such a dear.” Aunt Millie stood and strode out with all the vigor of a person who’d just received the best night’s sleep of her life.

  Amelia dressed with special care in a rich, rose-colored gown, the shade Reed had once said made her glow with the beauty of Aphrodite. Then glared at her reflection. “I’m dressing to impress the board of directors, not to impress Reed.”

  The mirror made no comment.

  With a groan of disgust, she turned away. She probably wouldn’t even be allowed in the house long enough for him to see her clothing.

  She was such an idiot!

  As she met with the board of directors, Amy firmly pushed back thoughts of Reed and focused instead on the children and her plans for the orphanage. She spoke passionately, with her head high, and firmly deflected any questions regarding her character, focusing instead on the business at hand.

  Her voice rang out with confidence. “I have secured enough funding to pay for my proposed changes for the next year. As far as the increase in food rations, I’m confident that the others with whom I’ve spoken will step forward and offer their support as well, so we’ll have more than enough money to cover our expenses.”

  One of the gentlemen looked down at her with clear disapproval. Whether he disapproved of a woman in business, or found fault with her status as a divorcee, she didn’t know, but she made a point of frequently looking at him in the eye as she discussed the reports and proposals.

  Whether or not she won them over for the remodeling project, she would still continue to improve conditions for the children, beginning with more quality food and warm bedding. If nothing else, she’d speak to her solicitor about selling some more assets and fund it herself.

  She cleared her throat and passed out the papers. “Here are the itemized reports with past and proposed budgetary changes, as well as pledges I’ve received. I think you’ll agree they are realistic.”

  After she finished speaking, she clasped her hands together and waited for their decision. The board of directors conferred, their voices a low hum. Amelia stood motionless while her insides twisted into a nervous knot.

  Finally, the chairman nodded to her. “Very well, the majority has voted to approve your plan.”

  She resisted the urge to let out a squeal and jump up and down. She merely smiled. “Excellent. Thank you, gentlemen.”

  Amelia wanted to sing out loud. She never would have tried to re-establish herself in society if she hadn’t needed the aid for the orphanage so badly. But now, at last, she could affect true change for these children.

  With a firm sense of purpose, Amelia set out to meet with the contractor to begin improvements.

  If only she didn’t have this meeting with Reed to endure!

  Chapter 4

  Seated in the main gathering room inside Brooks’s, Reed toyed with his glass and only half-listened to Lord Evensley. He scanned the club, admiring the architecture of the old building. As a guest of a peer, he’d been allowed into the exclusive club, but he’d never get in on his own merit. No matter. He’d never belonged to the beau monde, despite his parents’ attempts to climb the elite ladders of society, nor did he care. Still, the good food and excellent port made the trip worthwhile.

  A gentleman walking by stopped to chat. Remembering the gentleman from the dinner party the other night, Reed nodded a greeting, then narrowed his gaze. That had been the gentleman sitting next to Amelia, engrossed in conversation with her. How he’d envied that man!

  Reed shook himself. He wanted nothing to do with that rich, spoiled lord’s daughter who thought she was too good for the likes of him.

  The other gentleman sat. “I say, where have you been hiding that charming Amelia Dasherwood?”

  Reed gave a little start.

  Lord Evensley grinned. “You liked her, eh?”

  “Lovely,” said the gentleman. “And intelligent, too. I didn’t think I’d find that combination so appealing. Have you heard about that orphanage she’s sponsoring?”

  Lord Evensley nodded. “Of course. We’ve already pledged our help.”

  Reed’s ears perked. “Orphanage?”

  “One that had a huge death toll last winter,” Lord Evensley explained. “Mrs. Dasherwood has turned the place upside down making it more healthful for children.”

  The other gentleman nodded. “I went on a tour with her yesterday, and I must admit it was impossible not to get caught up in all the excitement. I dug deep into my pockets. But seeing her eyes light up was worth every shilling.”

  How well Reed recalled Amy’s eyes all aglow.

  “Hmmm,” continued the other man. “Perhaps she’ll let me court her now that she sees me so generous.”

  Reed glared at the man as he rhapsodized about Amy. She’d been his Amy. Or so he’d thought.

  But if she were funding an orphanage, she’d obviously matured since he’d seen her. Maybe status was no longer so important. It had been odd, really, how she’d seemed so in love with him, and then the moment her uncle refused his proposal, Amy had turned so cold. He’d thought she’d had more substance than that.

  An orphanage. Now that was worthwhile. Perhaps he could help. He could offer his services as a doctor to the children.

  But no, putting himself in Amy’s path would lead nowhere he wished to go. Besides, he was leaving town soon and had no plans ever to return.

  The other gentleman finally stopped yammering on about beautiful women on missions, and left.

  “What is it about him you don’t like?” Lord Evensley’s voice broke in.

  Reed jumped. “Eh? Oh, nothing. He seems a decent chap.”

  “You were positively glowering.” Humor glittered his eyes.

  “I meant no offense to your friend.”

  “Methinks you have designs upon Mrs. Dasherwood?” Lord Evensley raised a brow.

  “No, of course not. Far above my class. I want nothing to do with lords’ daughters. Too much trouble.”

  “Ah. You’ve asked about her, then.”

  “No. I already knew….” Reed closed his mouth with a snap.

  Lord Evensley cocked his head and examined him while a smile played with his mouth. “A lady from the past?” He drew in a breath and snapped his fingers. “Of course. She’s the lady from the past.”

  Reed scowled. “I never said anything about a lady from the past.”

  “When I first met you on the peninsula, you had the clear look of a man nursing a broken heart. Only a woman can leave a man in that kind of wreckage.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” Reed rubbed his eyes.

  “Do you remember the night we got so drunk we got lost on the way back from that little tavern?”

  Reed grinned. “After the brawl?”

  “The same. You told me you envied me that I’d fallen for a woman who returned my affection. You refused to say anything more on the matter, but weeks later mentioned something about reaching above your class and getting your hand cut off.”

  “So now you know,” Reed growled.

  “Mrs. Dasherwood went on to marry a real lout.”

  “It was her choice.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Reed folded his arms. “Her uncle refused my suit and she coldly told me that her uncle knew best and that she couldn’t see me ever again.”

  “How old was she?”

  “Seventeen.”

  “Young. Impressionable.”

  “Unwilling to risk living on my means and social status.”

  Lord Evensley sipped his drink thoughtfully. “Is that why she refused you?”

  “Look who she married. An Earl.”

  “Someone of whom her uncle approved.”


  “You see?” Reed toyed with a napkin.

  “Perhaps it was his approval that mattered. Going against the wishes of a guardian to whom she felt she owed her gratitude and obedience would have been difficult for any young lady.”

  “I begged her to elope.”

  “And disappoint her uncle, to say nothing of the scandal?” He made a tsking sound. “I had no idea you had such an impetuous romantic side.”

  “Not any more. I’ve learned my lesson.” Reed took out his watch and manufactured an escape. “I have an appointment. Thank you for inviting me here.”

  “Good afternoon.” A knowing gleam remained in Lord Evensley’s eye.

  Reed left, mulling over his friend’s words. Perhaps he’d asked too much of Amy, after all. Still, she’d married that earl only a few months later. Obviously their relationship had meant more to Reed than it had to Amy.

  If only he could forget her.

  Chapter 5

  As nervous as a schoolgirl in the throws of her first tendre, Amelia smoothed the skirts of her pelisse. With her trembling hand poised over the knocker of the front door, she froze. What was she doing? Reed clearly didn’t want her back, despite the kiss they shared in the library.

  And what had that been about? There had been such longing in that kiss, such tenderness, such passion. Could it be possible he was still in love with her, but unwilling to allow her to see it? And yet, when he pushed her away, he’d looked at her as if she’d just insulted his honor.

  More likely the kiss was merely a product of their close quarters and their shared loneliness, an act he instantly regretted because he despised her. Maybe he thought her unfit for him because she was divorced.

  Perhaps he’d become a complete rake and kissed every woman within reach.

  No, that didn’t seem at all like the man she’d known. Yet time changed people—would he have changed that much?

  So here she stood on the doorstep, blithely prepared to throw herself under his feet to see if he would pick her up or trample her. There must be something wrong with her, truly, if she were willing to subject herself to further suffering, notwithstanding her aunt’s manufactured errand.