Starwalker (Starborn 1) (Sci-Fi Fantasy Romance)

by P. Jameson

  Both arms were filled with slash marks in various stages of healing. Some faintly silvered scars, others angry red and fresh. His lower legs held even more of the curious slashes.

  She climbed from the bed, forgetting her discomfort. She shook her head in disbelief as her eyes scanned his body for more of the wounds. Hands held in front of her, she nearly touched him, but stopped just before making contact.

  It must hurt. Her wren was fierce. She’d witnessed it herself. But this sort of constant injury… must hurt.

  Canna clenched her jaw against the fury bubbling inside. “Who did this?” she ground out.

  He said nothing.

  “Who did this to you?” she asked again, her voice rising. “I’ll kill them.”

  “Canna…”

  “You will tell me this instant, wren, or so help me—”

  His hand reached out, gently tipping her head back to look into his eyes. His whole demeanor had changed. His gaze was soft. Sad. But hopeful.

  “You cannot kill the one who did this, because I did it to myself.”

  She frowned, her lip trembling, but she could do nothing to stop it.

  “You did this?” she hissed. “Why?”

  Why would he harm his beautiful body? There was years of damage. Some recently too. She cringed when her eyes fell on the marks that were fresh. Especially the two that ran the length of each arm. As if it was a tally of some sort.

  Her gaze found his. He stared at her, measuring.

  “Tell me.”

  “I shouldn’t. You haven’t told me what I want to know yet.”

  She had to know. It felt like fire in her gut. What made him do this to himself? What kind of turmoil had her wren endured?

  “Please.” She wasn’t the least bit ashamed of the desperation in her tone.

  With a sigh, he dropped his hand from her cheek. “I told you,” he said softly. “When you hurt, I hurt.”

  Canna lost her breath at the implication. All she could do was shake her head in denial, wishing that what he said wasn’t true.

  “There’s a mark for every word you carved in the bench. For every time I wasn’t there to comfort you. It’s a record of all the time I wasted not approaching you. It’s… it’s our history, Canna.”

  “No,” she breathed, tears springing to her eyes.

  He’d been there the entire time. Just as he’d claimed. Tortured by their separation, just as she was. He hadn’t betrayed her.

  “No.” She shook her head hard enough her dreads slapped against her shoulder.

  “Canna—”

  “No!” She stepped backward until the cold bed hit the back of her knees. “This… this is because of me?”

  She’d done this. She’d hurt him without even knowing, and then hurt him again on purpose. She was a monster. She didn’t deserve a wren to love. She didn’t deserve him.

  He reached for her. “No, Canna—”

  She threw her hands out in front of her, tears streaming down her cheeks beyond her control. “Don’t. Do not come near me. I’m bad. I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

  Breckken frowned, his brow furling in confusion.

  “Just… go. I need you to go.”

  “I’m not leaving. I’m never leaving again. You’re mine. We’re going to work this out.”

  “Work what out?” she cried. “Look at what I’ve done! Th-the pain you must have endured, and for what? You need to forget about me. I’m no good. It’s like I said, I’m only good alone.”

  She didn’t wait for him to argue. If he wouldn’t leave, she would.

  She turned, sprinting for the door, but just as she reached the handle, a heavy weight slammed into her back, pressing her flush against the intricately carved ice. She struggled, but the steel wall of muscle at her back wasn’t giving. Gentle hands guided her arms above her head and held them there.

  “My Cannalise,” he murmured against her ear, and she lost control. The wretched sobs rolling out caused her chest to heave. There wasn’t a breath to be caught. “Shh, my maiden.” His hand grazed her hair, soothing her as she cried harder. “My sweet maiden. Nobody knows how very kind you are. How protective you are of those you care for. How you watch over the city. How you scope out trouble and try to keep others from it. Nobody sees the real you, but I have. I know you, and I’m proud to call you mine.”

  The treasured words only made her sob harder, as Breckken nuzzled the skin at her nape. His name, she realized. He caressed the evidence of his name on her neck.

  “You didn’t do this to me, Cannalise. I did it. Because I needed you and couldn’t have you. It was the only way to feel connected to you. I saw you suffer and I was helpless to stop it. There’s so much I would do different now, but all I can do is go from this day forward.”

  Time passed with Breckken’s body anchoring hers to the wall. He whispered love into her ear. He stroked her hair, her back. When her sobbing slowed, he carefully turned her in his arms and brushed the wetness from her cheeks.

  He wanted her truth. She owed it to him.

  “I’ve had no one to share myself with,” she whispered. “There was Row, though I didn’t confide in her. Later there was Emmalyn, but being a friend meant risking betrayal. Safer to keep to myself. So I had no one. But every night of my existence, I had one thought before fading to sleep.”

  Breckken pulled her in close, his roughened skin brushing hers and bringing up chills.

  “Tell me.”

  Canna drew in a shuddering breath. “I thought… someday, my Heartbeat will come for me. He will care for me, and I will never be alone again. That’s why it hurt so bad to know you’d avoided me all these years.”

  Breckken shook his head. “I was a fool. If you could only know how badly I wanted you.”

  Tentatively, she reached up and gently fingered a newer red slash. “I see it now.”

  His arms holding her, tightened. “You are mine now. Do you understand, Cannalise? I won’t be denied any longer. I can’t be persuaded away from you. And I want everything you have to give.”

  The confidence she wore when she strode the streets of An`gel was gone. Shattered under his revelation. She didn’t know if she could give him what he wanted. How could she take years of hiding herself, her thoughts, her feelings, and transform into the open, sharing maiden he deserved? It seemed like an impossibility. And the thought of letting him down felt like a knife in her chest. How would she ever be a proper mate?

  Even with all the truth between them, nothing had changed.

  She still wasn’t good for him. But maybe it wouldn’t matter. Maybe all that mattered was he was good for her.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The wavering in her gaze, threatened to undo him. She was unsure. He wanted to kiss away all her doubts. Make her forget everything but him. But he’d come into this room with one purpose in mind and he wasn’t leaving until it was done.

  He intended to strip her down. Not physically, but emotionally. He wanted to pull every rancid hurt feeling from her until there was nothing but the love and devotion that she tried so hard to hide from everyone.

  He wanted to purify her.

  Because only then, could she be the maiden she was meant to be.

  “What is it?” He brushed his thumb softly over her cheek and she shifted in his hold.

  Her slender body brushing against his was torture. He was hard for her, his erection pressing against her belly. He wondered if she even noticed.

  “I…” she began, but then couldn’t finish.

  “Whatever it is, it’s mine too. Mine to bear with you. Tell me.”

  Her eyes shone with emotion. They’d always been more expressive than she intended, but now, there was no mask, and they looked at him with such affection, his knees grew weak.

  “I do not know if I can be what you need.” She barely whispered the words, as if testing them and finding them distasteful.

  But Breckken had no worries. This Cannalise, the one who could admit she w
as scared, was the maiden he’d come to know all these years through observation. This was the part of her no one had seen but him. The tough maiden in the street, that was her too, but now, he had all of her. And she was fucking amazing.

  He bent, sliding one arm behind her knees, and lifted her into his arms. Her tiny gasp didn’t slow him as he carried her to the frozen bed where he’d watched her sleep. He laid her down and then stood back to look her over once more.

  His maiden was stunning. Ethereal skin that warmed with his touch. Small, firm, rose-tipped breasts. A waist that narrowed and flared at her hips. Muscular legs that allowed her to fight.

  He put one knee on the bed and the water-filled cushion sank beneath him, crackling when it touched the slab of ice below.

  He loomed over her while she fidgeted, unsure what to do with her hands, her legs.

  “I have watched you a thousand years,” he murmured. “Do you think I don’t know exactly what I need?”

  He watched her eyes flare with hope.

  “It’s you, my maiden. You, with whatever flaws you think you have. I am patient, you see. Too patient. And I will wait for you to open your heart to me. But…” He looked down between their bodies, tracing the tip of his finger from her throat as she swallowed hard, between the valley of her breasts as they heaved from her rapid breaths, across her stomach as it quivered from his touch, until he came to the cleft of her sex. “This…” He tapped his finger against it and she sucked in a sharp breath. “This I will not wait for.”

  He couldn’t. And not only because his body was raging for her. But because she needed this. She needed this connection to him. Something nobody else could give her. Instinct told him this could heal her. Maybe not all the years of hurt, but it was a start.

  It was their beginning. And he was taking it now.

  He watched her eyes as his finger slid even farther down, between her folds, slick with desire. Her gaze went even wider.

  “Feel how wet you are, maiden?” he breathed, sliding his finger up and down.

  Breckken shivered. He’d kept himself from all others. To be here now, with her. So he could tell her, there was no one else. That she was the only one he would ever touch. But now he couldn’t get the words past his throat.

  Canna slowly lifted her hand to his scarred biceps. They bulged, supporting his weight, and her touch was softer than a feather.

  “Do your wounds hurt?”

  He shook his head. But he didn’t let her ask any more questions. He slid a finger inside her, wringing a cry from her lips. With his thumb, he massaged the pearl at the top and she went absolutely still beneath him.

  “That’s right, my maiden,” he whispered. “See what I can do to you?”

  “Killing me,” she gasped.

  He chuckled. “No, sweet Canna. Wait and see.”

  Her hands flew to the pillow where she rested her head, gripping it so tightly he wondered if it would tear.

  Watching her intently, he used the finger inside to press against the top of her channel, finding that special spot that would give her the most intense pleasure. He knew he’d found it when a strangled cry escaped her throat.

  He ripped his gaze away from her face to look down between them. His hand working her, and his hardened cock so close by, waiting its turn was the single most erotic thing he’d ever experienced.

  “Fates…” she hissed. “Breckken… what are you doing to me? What is this torture?”

  He found her eyes, desperate and glassy. He wanted to say this was what she deserved. Torture, for torture. Hadn’t he endured the frozen night for her? But this was not torture.

  “It’s pleasure, my maiden. I’m meant to make you feel it.” He pressed more insistently at her opening. “There will be years of this, Canna. Decades. Millenniums. Every morning when you wake in my bed, this will be your reward. Our days together start now, with this. And they will go until our death. Forever, my Cannalise.”

  “But what if… I fail you? What if I disappoint you?”

  If she had thoughts of failure, he wasn’t doing it right.

  He pulled his hand from her and she let out a gasp to wake the castle. But he didn’t hesitate. He spread her thighs wide, settling his face between her legs. This view sent a trill of excitement down the length of his spine. She was slick and swollen from his attention. He was going to lick all that wetness away. Make her squirm. Make her forget failure.

  With a growl, he lunged forward, leading with is tongue. A long lick up her center had her bucking. He anchored her with his forearm across her hips, and went back for more.

  Her taste… fates, her taste. It drove him wild. He was like those fabled beasts of the star, the Moonsingers. He growled and lapped at her like he was starved and she was his favorite meal.

  Her hands flew to his hair, digging all the way to his scalp. Perhaps she meant to stay him, but all it did was spur him on. He was going to lick her until she came apart on his tongue.

  “Breckken!”

  He was lost to her. Everything else faded to a pinpoint of insignificance. There was just her need and the way he was going to fulfill it.

  Another swirl of his tongue, and she stiffened, sounds coming from her throat that he would never forget. Then he felt it. The pulsing of her body against his mouth, her release, an actual physical thing. But he didn’t stop. He continued his actions until she’d calmed a fraction.

  “Fates…” she muttered. “Wren…”

  He lifted his head to find her speechless. Perfect. No doubts. No talk of failure.

  He crawled up her body, his hands sweeping across her skin and leading the way. At her breasts, he sucked her puckered nipple into his mouth, and she moaned, making his cock ache. Kneading one breast, he sucked at the other one, hard enough to leave a mark. He wanted her to have a reminder he’d been there.

  At her neck, he kissed gently. Nipped at her collar bone. Ran his tongue along her jaw. Relished every ragged breath.

  Finally at her lips, he stopped to stare into her eyes. “You are mine. Now and forever. Say it.”

  Her eyes became wet with tears. “I am yours,” she whispered. “Now and forever.”

  “And I will be yours, Canna. You are the only maiden I’ve ever wanted. Understand what I say to you?”

  He wanted her to know he’d never been with another. Even if his pride wouldn’t let him say the words.

  She nodded, her lower lip trembling with emotion.

  Slowly, he bent his head and captured her mouth, steadying that errant lip. He kissed her luxuriously, feeling out every detail of her mouth and committing it to memory. He’d learn her so well, she wouldn’t pant without him knowing the reason why.

  He pulled back to stare into her eyes as he readied his cock to enter her. Pushing at her tight opening, he inched inward, watching her lids flutter closed at the sensation. The way her body gripped his, stole his breath. So tight, so hungry.

  He shook with the restraint of going slowly, but soon he was buried to the hilt. Breathing shallow, he gauged her reaction. She stared up at him, mouth open in surprise, and then he felt her loosen around him.

  “That’s right. Relax, my sweet maiden. I’m going to take you now.”

  Her eyes flashed with challenge, and then she reared up, forcing him backward until their roles had switched, and he lay beneath her, his back against the cold bed. He hissed as the movement added delicious friction to their connection.

  “My turn,” she breathed playfully. “Let me torture you now, my wren.”

  Breckken had no words. She was glorious in that moment. Confident, poised above him, her lithe legs spread over his hips while he was buried deep within her.

  Achingly slowly, she lifted her hips and then pushed back down. Over and over again. So slow, he wanted to scream. He understood now, the sweet, sweet torture she’d spoken of.

  Breckken let his hands drift up her body, his eyes riveted on the bounce of her breasts as she moved.

  The expression on h
er face was enough to make him come. The satisfaction there. His maiden, for this moment in time, was utterly and undeniably… happy.

  He groaned as she moved a degree faster. It wasn’t enough. The need to pound into her until he’d released himself was nigh overwhelming.

  Enough.

  In a single motion, he lifted her by the hips and flipped her beneath him once again, smiling at the little sound of surprise she made.

  He pulled back to give her a warning look. “Don’t move,” he growled.

  Curling his fingers with hers, he pulled her arms above her head and held them there. He tweaked each tight nipple with his tongue, and then found her eyes.

  The first thrust was hard, testing her. But when her eyes fluttered shut on a moan, he knew his maiden could take it. Again he surged back and then forward, her sweet body curing the ache of his manhood.

  He settled into a brutal rhythm, and felt her body build to another release, tightening around him to the point where he could barely move.

  “Ah, my maiden. You are so beautiful when you give yourself to me.”

  His words were her undoing. She exploded, convulsing beneath him, and it was more than his virgin heart could handle. He followed her over the ledge of pleasure, grunting as he spilled into her.

  As his swinging hips slowed, his arms gave out and he went to his elbows to keep from crushing her. Burying his face in her neck, he breathed her scent. She was his home. His everything. Her scent would haunt his dreams when they were apart and fill his chest with gladness when she was near.

  Her breath raced in and out of her chest as she calmed, her heart mimicking his own pitter-patter.

  “My wren,” she murmured.

  “Yes.”

  Her hands brushed up his sensitive back until she reached the spot where her name was emblazoned on his neck.

  “I will always give you my best,” she choked. “I only ask that you…”

  Breckken pulled back to look into her eyes, ready to fight away any beast of doubt she was battling. “What is it? Tell me.”

  When she answered, her voice was small and meek. A request she didn’t want to make but needed to. “Never leave me. No matter how unbearable I get, please, never leave me. Give me time to make it better. To adapt.”