Thrill Me

by Susan Mallery

  Elaine swung her legs to the floor and blinked several times. “My cell phone should be in my bag. Unless it fell out in the car. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sleep so long. You were looking for me?”

  Ceallach took a single step toward her. “I thought you’d gone.”

  “Where would I go?”

  Maya rose and moved toward the window. Del watched her, wondering what she knew that the rest of them didn’t. Maya didn’t look relieved, nor had she been concerned before. Worry began to bend toward anger.

  “Mom, is this your apartment?” he asked, his voice too loud for the small space. “And how did Maya know about it?”

  Maya paled, but didn’t speak. His mother twisted her hands together.

  “This isn’t how I wanted to tell you all. I was going to explain everything in the morning. When you boys came over for breakfast.”

  “This apartment is why you invited us over?” Nick asked. “Mom, what’s going on?”

  She drew in a breath and gave them a smile. “Everything is fine. You’re not to worry.” She turned to her husband. “A few months ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had a lumpectomy and then radiation. My doctor told me that if I had to get breast cancer, this is the one to have.”

  Del saw his brothers’ expressions of shock and had a feeling he looked just as stunned. Thoughts crowded his brain, stupid factoids and snippets from news stories. Cancer? His mother?

  “After I healed, I started on radiation. I’ve been getting treatments every day for a few weeks. I’m fine, but it makes me tired. I didn’t want to worry anyone.” She smiled at Ceallach. “You had your big commission and this would have been a distraction.”

  She looked at her sons. “You’re all so busy with your lives. So I kept it to myself and I got this place so I could rest in the afternoon without having to explain what was wrong. And if I’d remembered to set the alarm, I would have been awake on time and no one would have known until I told you in the morning. I’m sorry I worried you.”

  Del got that his mother apologizing was wrong on every possible level, but he couldn’t seem to speak. He was still dealing with the news. Cancer? His mother had cancer.

  Involuntarily, he looked at Maya. She was watching his mom but not speaking. Then all the pieces clicked into place.

  Maya was his mother’s friend. Maya had known about the apartment. Maya had known a lot of things.

  “You knew,” he said, his voice low. “You knew about this and didn’t tell me.”

  Betrayal slammed into him with the force of a tornado. She’d worked with him, laughed with him, made love with him, all the while knowing his mother was sick, possibly dying, and she hadn’t said a word. She’d lied. Every single day, for weeks. He’d been right not to trust. He could never trust her.

  “Del,” she began, but he shook his head and pointed to the door.

  “This is a family matter. You need to get the hell out.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  “YOU HAVE CANCER and you didn’t tell me?”

  Del wasn’t sure if his father meant the words as a question or a statement, but as it was the fifth time he was saying them, he wasn’t sure it mattered anymore. Everyone had left the mystery apartment and returned to the family home. As expected, his mother’s cell phone had been on the front seat of her car. He couldn’t begin to comprehend how different everything would have been if the stupid thing hadn’t fallen out of her purse.

  Now his mother sat in a chair in the living room, Sophie stretched out next to her. The beagle watched them all with a combination of worry and defiance, as if prepared to take on all comers. Sophie might love the whole family, but Elaine was her person. Ceallach paced, and Del and his brothers claimed the sofa and one of the chairs.

  It was dark outside. Lamps illuminated the room, but not the shadows beyond.

  “I didn’t want you to worry,” Elaine said stubbornly.

  “That’s no excuse.”

  “Mom, we had the right to know,” Aidan told her.

  “Did you? It was my illness, not yours. There’s nothing you could have done.”

  “We could have been there for you.”

  Which Maya had been, Del thought bitterly. No doubt she’d been at her friend’s side the whole time. He didn’t get it. How could she have kept that a secret from him? He’d trusted her. Hell, he’d wanted a future with her. They’d been planning to work together. He’d thought they’d shared a dream.

  He should have known, he told himself. She’d lied to him once—of course she would do it again.

  “I’m not going to accept blame in any of this,” his mother said firmly. “It was my decision to make. This family runs on secrets and this is simply one more of them. I had cancer, I’ve had treatment and I’m fine. Tired, but fine.”

  Del remembered how she’d looked when he’d first come back to town. She’d been pale and drawn, he remembered. He’d asked her about it and she’d claimed it was nothing more than “the change.” But it hadn’t been menopause at all—it had been cancer.

  “Mom,” Nick said, “I don’t get why you wouldn’t tell us. We love you. We would have been there for you.”

  “You couldn’t have handled it. Not any of you.” She turned to Del. “You barely come home every other year. What are you running from?” She spun to Aidan. “There’s a reason you can’t date a girl longer than three days. What is it?” Nick came next. “You’re hiding what matters most to you because you want to spite your father. That’s mature.”

  Her gaze swung to Ceallach. “You’re worst of all. You care about your art. After all these years, I know the rules. Don’t distract the master. Maybe I flatter myself, but I assumed you finding out I had cancer might serve as a distraction. So I didn’t say anything. Now you know. Does it honest to God make a difference?”

  The room fell silent. Del figured they were all dealing with the uncomfortable truths she’d exposed.

  Ceallach spoke first. “I thought you’d left me.”

  His mother sighed. “Now why would I do that? I love you. I always have.”

  “I’m not an easy man.” His voice was gruff. “I thought maybe you’d found one who was.”

  Elaine’s eyebrows rose, as did her voice. “You thought I was having an affair?”

  Ceallach sighed. “Yes. To pay me back for mine.”

  Del swung his head to stare at his father. Nick and Aidan did the same. Their mother sprang to her feet.

  “Don’t you dare tell them.”

  “It’s time, my love. They have to know.” Ceallach looked at each of them. “Nearly thirty years ago, I had a mistress.”

  Del hadn’t thought he could feel the same level of shock again, but here it was—hitting him like a two-by-four. He glanced at his mother, who had returned to her chair. She watched her husband with a combination of frustration and affection.

  “The relationship didn’t last,” Ceallach was saying. “I came to my senses and returned to my wonderful wife. But a few months later, we heard from the woman. There’d been a child. Ronan and Mathias aren’t twins. Ronan is the result of my affair.”

  Nick swore. Aidan started to stand, then sank back on the couch. Del managed to speak.

  “Ronan isn’t yours?” he asked his mother.

  “Of course he’s mine, in every way but one.” She pressed her lips together. “I can’t believe you told them like that. We’d agreed no one ever needed to know.” She squared her shoulders. “When that woman told us she was pregnant, she said she wanted to give up the baby. We couldn’t have that. I was already pregnant with Mathias, so it made sense to take in Ronan, too. He was born only a few weeks after Mathias. You three were so young. We told you that he had to stay in the hospital awhile, and that was that.”

  Del had no memory of any of t
hat. He’d been all of three or four, so the lack of detail made sense, but shit.

  Nick and Aidan looked as shocked as he felt. How could they just now be learning all this?

  “You never thought to tell us?” Del asked, even as he knew the answer.

  His mother’s expression was stern. “Ronan is your brother in every way that matters. We didn’t want you treating him differently.”

  “What about his birth mother?” Aidan asked. “Is she still alive?”

  “Sadly, no,” Ceallach murmured.

  Del involuntarily winced even as his mother turned on her husband.

  “Sadly? What does that mean? You miss her?”

  “Elaine, you know that’s not true. What Candy and I had all those years ago was nothing.”

  “Candy?” Nick murmured. “Her name was Candy?”

  Del shook his head. The other woman’s name was the least of what was going on. In the past hour he’d learned that his mother had been dealing with breast cancer, the woman he trusted and was hoping to work with around the world had once again lied to him, his father had had an affair that had resulted in a child and that child had been passed off as their mother’s son.

  “Do they know?” he asked. “Ronan and Mathias. Did you tell them?”

  “Of course not,” Elaine said.

  “Yes,” Ceallach answered at the same time.

  Elaine glared at him. “You told them?”

  “After my heart attack. I thought I was dying. They were with me at the hospital and I told them.”

  “Without letting me know? Three years of—” Her lips formed a straight line. “That’s why they left town, isn’t it? Because you told them.”

  Del wanted to say that of course his younger brothers had left because of the lie, but didn’t think that would be helpful. Aidan glanced at him and nodded, as if he, too, was thinking the same thing. That kind of a lie would be unforgivable. No wonder they’d taken off. There was nothing left for them here. Nothing they could count on.

  He wished he’d known. He would have gone to see them. Not that he could have helped, but he could have let them know... What? That they were still family? Ronan and Mathias had returned for Ceallach’s sixtieth birthday and not hinted that anything was different. Everyone in this family was blind, he thought.

  “Is there anything else?” he asked.

  His mother turned to her other two sons. “Not that I’m aware of. Unless one of you has something you want to share.”

  Nick and Aidan both shook their heads.

  “Good,” Del said as he came to his feet. “Mom, I’m sorry about what you’ve gone through. I wish I’d known. I could have helped.”

  “I know you would have, but it was my disease to fight. There wasn’t much for you to do.”

  He could have done what Maya had done, he thought bitterly. He could have listened, could have driven her to her appointments, helped her when she was tired. Suddenly her emotional meltdown about the party made sense. She’d been dealing with more than was fair.

  He crossed to her and pulled her to her feet, then held her close.

  “If you need anything, you have to call me.”

  “I will,” she promised.

  “Why don’t I believe you?”

  She gave him a smile, then stepped back. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

  He followed her to the front of the house. Sophie stuck close as if sensing the person she loved most of all needed protecting.

  “You’re angry,” his mother said quietly.

  “Not at you.”

  “It should be me. I’m the one who didn’t want you to know.” She touched his arm. “Maya didn’t like keeping my secret, but she did it because I asked her to. She was a good friend, Del. Don’t punish her for that.”

  “She knew and she didn’t tell me.”

  “I know. That’s on me.”

  “She was the one to keep the secret.” Maya had been with him every damn day for the whole summer. There were a hundred times when she could have come clean, and she’d never hinted. Not once.

  “She cares about you,” his mother told him.

  “Not enough for it to matter.”

  * * *

  MAYA HEARD FROM Elaine the next morning, but the news wasn’t encouraging.

  “He’s upset,” her friend said. “Give him time. I told him it wasn’t your fault. I’ll talk to him again later.”

  Maya had a feeling that talking to Del wasn’t going to help. From his perspective, she’d lied to him. She’d kept a significant secret about someone he loved very much. She’d known the truth for weeks.

  Now, alone in her office, she wondered how long it was going to take to be able to breathe without missing him. Without the sense of loss that accompanied her like a shadow. Knowing that she’d wanted to tell him what was happening with his mother wouldn’t count, she thought sadly. As for her loving him—there was no way he was going to care about that now.

  She wondered if he would get in touch with Ernesto and Robert or if he wanted her to. She honestly didn’t know what she was going to say to them. While the job offer had been incredible, it wasn’t as if she could take it on her own. They’d wanted to hire a team.

  She checked her email, then reviewed her schedule for the day. She had a good life here, she told herself. Family. Friends. People who cared about her. It wasn’t loving Del, but it was more than she’d had in Los Angeles. In time she would forget her plans with Del. She wouldn’t think about all the places they were going to see together.

  When it came to loving him, she had a bad feeling that was going to be with her always. She’d never fallen out of love with him, and they’d been apart ten years. The difference was, before she hadn’t known. She’d been able to go on with her life without being aware her heart was forever in the possession of someone who didn’t want it.

  Close to noon, Eddie and Gladys walked into her office.

  “Do you have a minute?” Eddie asked as they took the plastic chairs on the other side of her desk. “We have to talk.”

  “Don’t say it like that,” Gladys told her. “You’ll scare the poor girl.” Gladys gave her a bright smile. “We love our show.”

  That made Maya smile. “I suspect everyone already knows that. Your enthusiasm is both obvious and contagious.”

  “Except for the butt segments,” Eddie said. “We’re still getting some flak for those. Marsha needs to get a sense of humor, if you ask me.”

  “Or maybe you shouldn’t show so many naked butts.”

  “As if that’s going to happen.” Gladys winked. “It’s our highest rated segment. But that’s not why we’re here.”

  “I’m almost afraid to ask the reason,” Maya admitted. Silently, though, she was happy for the interruption. It was impossible to feel sorry for herself while in the company of these two.

  “We heard what happened with Del and his family,” Eddie said, her voice low. “Breast cancer. Poor thing.”

  While part of her brain assumed Eddie was referring to Elaine, the rest of her was trying to figure out how they knew.

  “Word is spreading quickly,” Gladys said. “Now that it’s out. Ceallach ran into Morgan this morning, and while I love Morgan, he’s something of a talker. It sounds like they got it all and got it early, so that’s good.”

  Eddie pressed her hands against her chest. “I know I worry about my girls, but what can you do but get them checked? Elaine was very brave and you were a good friend.”

  “Not everyone sees it that way,” Maya murmured.

  “Some people are buttheads. He’ll come around. She needed you and you were there. That’s what counts.”

  Maya knew that Eddie was right. And when she was curled up in pain from missing Del, she would tell herself
the same thing. While she regretted the outcome and she’d thought her friend had been wrong to keep the information from her family, she didn’t regret what she’d done. And if the situation were to happen again, she would do exactly the same thing. She would be a friend.

  Gladys smiled at her. “We want to thank you for your help with our show. We’ve used everything you taught us in class and it’s made a big difference.”

  “I’m glad you’re happy with the results.”

  Eddie nodded. “We are. You know, we’ve always admired you, Maya. Even when you were a teenager, you understood that making something of your life was up to you. Your mother wasn’t the nicest person, but you didn’t let that stop you. You worked hard in school and applied yourself.”

  The unexpected compliment had Maya fighting tears. “Thank you for saying that,” she said softly, not sure how they knew so much about her. But then this was Fool’s Gold, and information had a way of getting out.

  “We knew you were destined for greatness,” Gladys added.

  “Then you must be disappointed. Here I am, back where I started.”

  The two old ladies exchanged a glance, then returned their attention to her.

  “Don’t be silly,” Eddie said. “You were in television. That was really something. We liked seeing your name in the credits every night when we watched your TV show online. And now you’ll be taking off with Del to travel the world.”

  “I won’t. He and I aren’t exactly speaking right now.”

  “Pshaw.” Gladys shook her head. “He’ll come around. They always do. Then you’ll go see the world. Take lots of pictures and send them to us. We’ll love seeing what you’re doing.”

  She raised her hand toward her friend. “High five for a job well done?”

  “You bet.” Eddie raised her hand and they slapped palms.

  Maya looked between them. She felt as if an important truth was sitting right in front of her, only she couldn’t quite grasp it.

  “What are you talking about?” she asked.

  “You,” Eddie told her. “We’re proud of you, child.”