Lost In Paradise: A Billionaire Romance

by Erika Rose

  There was knock on her cottage door around lunch time. She peeked through the window to make sure it was Alana. She wasn’t ready to face Jason yet. After taking a shower and downing a scalding cup of coffee Mia had taken a long walk on the beach to clear her mind. She knew what she had to do, she just needed her friend as a sounding board before executing the hardest decision of her life.

  “Come in.” She smiled sadly and allowed her friend to walk by her.

  “I would say you look fabulous, but it looks more like you didn’t get any sleep, or you got really drunk last night?” Alana made herself comfortable on the couch waiting for Mia to tell her why she was here.”

  “Thanks for coming, I feel horrible.” Mia said sinking onto the couch next to her friend.

  “Let me guess, Jason?” Alana probed softly. When Mia just nodded, Alana put her arms around her and held on. “Oh baby, I know this must be hard. Miku told me sparks were flying all over the place and they weren’t coming from his tools.”

  Mia let out a soft laugh, “I love him.” As soon as the words she had been thinking for days left her mouth, the tears started to fall. Alana rubbed her back and allowed her to cry freely. Her heart wrenching for her friend’s pain she held on, knowing Mia needed someone else to be strong for a little while. “There now, honey, let it all out.”

  Mia cried for the love of a man she would never have, for the life she would never have and worst of all for the shame and embarrassment she had felt this morning crawling out of Jason’s bedroom. Somehow Angelique had been a vague idea until this morning when she phoned while Mia was still in his bed. The reality of the situation had shocked her to the core. She had always been a dignified person with high moral values. She had never even stolen a penny in her life. And here she was now stealing another woman’s man. She cried for the house she had come to think of as her own. She had put too much of herself into the designs and the renovations, and had come to love even the small quirks and sounds of the old mansion. But it wasn’t hers. It was Angelique’s. In a couple of months Jason would return to Hawaii with his bride, and she would have to serve them and watched as they basked in the glow of newly wedded love. Knowing she would never be able to face them together again, she had made a decision. One that hurt more than anything she had ever done before, but one that was necessary. When the sobs subsided, she pulled away from Alana’s arms. She went to the bathroom to wash her face, and blow her nose, when she returned to Alana’s side, she was calmer and determined. “I’m going to resign.”

  “Oh Mia, that’s horrible.” Alana’s eyes shone with sympathy, “But I think it might be for the best.”

  “It’s the only option I have, I can’t resist Alana, I’ve tried…” Mia’s voice trailed off in thought. “Last night was one of the best nights of my life. I really thought we had something, that this could become more than just an affair.”

  “Don’t call it that.” Alana chastened.

  “It is what it is, Alana, there’s no use in sugar coating it. I’m the other woman in this equation, and I’ve never liked being a third wheel.”

  “Oh don’t lie, you love being our third wheel,” Alana joked.

  “Yes I do,” Mia smiled. “But I’m not sleeping with Miku.”

  “Fair enough.” Alana acquiesced.

  “It’s just when he looks at me, I yearn for a life I never knew I wanted. I can see myself having his children, living in this home.” Mia shook her head sadly, “I know that’s never going to happen, and I can’t keep fooling myself.”

  “How does Jason feel?” Alana asked in a serious tone.

  “We don’t really get to the point of discussing our feelings. I’m sure the attraction is mutual but I don’t know more than that.”

  “What does he say when you make love?”

  Mia blushed, “You know the usual things.” She answered embarrassed.

  “No I don’t know what he says, but if I can tell you one thing, it’s that men can’t hide emotion when they’re making love. He might not say it, but you must’ve seen something in his face, felt something in his touch?”

  Mia thought back to the soft words and hungry kisses, “If I have to go on that, I’m sure he feels the same, but he’s still engaged.”

  “Are you sure he’s not going to leave her?”

  Mia pursed her lips, “You see Alana, that’s exactly the problem. I don’t want him to leave her for me.”

  “All right, now I’m completely confused. You want him, but you don’t want him?”

  “I want him more than anything I’ve ever wanted, but I don’t want him to leave her for me. I’ll always be the woman he left Angelique basically at the altar for. I don’t want that hanging over my head for the rest of my life.”

  “I hate to say it kid, but you’ve got a point.”

  Mia nodded in agreement, “That’s why I have to resign.”

  “Okay, but let’s be rational about this. You don’t have another job lined up. What are you going to do for money? where are you going to stay?”

  Mia looked at Alana with pleading eyes, “I don’t eat much and your sofa’s pretty damn attractive right about now.”

  Alana laughed, “You know you’re always welcome, Miku will agree. But just be sure this is what you want to do.”

  “I don’t think I have any other choice.”

  As Alana stood to leave she pulled Mia into a bear hug before whispering in her ear, “You could always resign naked and show him just what he’s losing.”

  Mia laughed as she showed her friend out the door. “Thanks for always making me laugh, even if it’s twisted as hell.”

  Chapter 12

  Jason’s hair was windblown and messy from running a frustrated hand through it all day. He sat at the table on the terrace trying to work, although he hadn’t done anything productive in more than two hours. His morning had started perfect and gone to hell in a matter of seconds. He had imagined a lazy morning spent in bed with Mia, feeding each other breakfast before making love again, and then Angelique had gone and spoiled it all. He knew it was irrational since she had every right to call him, but the reason for her call frustrated him even more. The wedding guest list was already reaching three hundred guests, and she just wanted to make sure he was fine with adding fifty more. Three hundred and fifty people, half of whom he’d never even laid eyes on. His own wedding was turning into a circus with Angelique as the ringmaster, and he was starting to feel like the clown. When he’d balked, she had hastily told him it was all right – ‘she would understand if he couldn’t afford it’. It was all about the money again. He could’ve afforded to have a wedding a thousand guests if he wanted, but he didn’t want to. He had always seen a wedding as something intimate with only your nearest and dearest sharing the day. Not a media circus to be used as a publicity stunt. He tried to ignore the fact that he felt hurt because he hadn’t seen Mia all day. Where was she? Miku wasn’t due in today, neither were the cleaning crew or the pool guy, and yet she was here. Her car was standing in front of the cottage reminding him she was just a few steps away. But somehow he couldn’t muster the courage to go talk to her. He imagined she would be hurt and mad as hell, he would’ve been as well, but he didn’t know what to do about it. There was a hollow feeling in his belly telling him that he enjoyed spending time more with his care taker than his fiancée, and he knew that was bad. The guilt had ridden him since early morning and yet he didn’t know what to do about it. He couldn’t just dump Angelique without explanation, and besides he had given her his word. Something he had always been proud of, if only his heart would stop yearning for a short and feisty woman with brunette hair and doe brown eyes. The phone rang on the table, without looking he answered.

  “Jason, eight weeks to go.” Jason flinched at the shrill voice of his wedding planner.

  “What can I do for you?” his voice was terse.

  “I just wanted to confirm the extra fifty guests Angelique want to invite, and then I’m due for another check
.”

  Money, why was it always about the money? “Sure, phone my assistant she’ll sort it out.”

  “Great and I also want to ask you if you’ve reconsidered the ice sculpture. Now, with the esteemed guests Angelique invited, you don’t want to look cheap.”

  “I’m not cheap, and I’m not having a David Ice sculpture. Got that?” Jason bit back before he slammed down the phone. He had barely retracted his hand when it started ringing again, he picked it up and all but shouted, “No dancing monkeys, no ice sculptures, no more guests! You got that?”

  “Whoa, relax Jason, it’s just me.” His dad’s voice sounded amused through the line.

  “Shit, dad. I’m sorry, it’s just this wedding planner is driving me crazy.” He sighed and sat back in his chair.

  “Well, back in my day, we didn’t need people planning for us. We got a place, a date, a few people to bring over some food and we had a wedding. Sounds to me like you’re making something really simple very complicated.”

  Jason thought about his father’s words. It would’ve been a lot easier and more intimate. “I know dad, it’s just Angelique has been looking forward to the wedding forever.”

  “Seems to me she’s taking it over.” His dad paused for a second, “Just remember it’s your day too, make sure it’s one you’ll want to remember.”

  “Thanks dad, I will. How’s mom?”

  “She misses you, actually we both do. We’ve been thinking we’ve got some air miles saved up, and if you want we can come through for a couple of days next week?”

  Jason smiled, that was the first good news he’d heard in days, “That’ll be great, but save your miles. I’ll get you first class tickets.”

  “No Jason, we’re coming on our own dime. We’re already planning on staying with you, so you’re not paying for the tickets as well.”

  Jason sighed, whenever he wanted to spoil his parents, his father’s pride refused. “Fine, I’ll leave it. But I’ll make sure you’ve got the best rooms in the house.”

  “That’s sounds wonderful!”

  “Great send me your flight details and I’ll pick you up when you land.”

  “Sure thing, son. See you soon.”

  Feeling happy about the upcoming visit, Jason went over the last few renovations that had to be done before he could head back to San Francisco when he heard Mia’s footsteps approaching him. His eyes were drawn to her like a moth to a flame. She was wearing her usual cargo pants and a soft pink shirt. She looked feminine and he couldn’t help the urge to pull her into her hug. As his arms encircled her, she pushed him back. “Jason, no.”

  “Mia?” He stood back and noticed for the first time the envelope in her hand.

  “My resignation.” She handed him the letter, without once making eye contact.

  “But why?” He asked hurt, confused.

  Mia waved her arm between them, “This is why!” She looked to the ocean as if drawing strength from it, “I can’t do this, Jason. I can’t be the other woman, I won’t. And as much as I enjoyed last night, this morning was the worst experience of my life. Do you realize I crawled out of your bed?”

  Jason flinched and recognized shame in her eyes, “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be, I’m not expecting an apology, I just think it’s better if I leave.”

  “What about the house?”

  “I’ll stay until I can find you another care taker, but not a moment longer. And if I hadn’t managed to find a replacement in two months, I’ll be leaving anyway.”

  “And just leave?”

  “No Jason, to avoid seeing you and your wife on honeymoon.” Her voice was soft, and Jason felt his heart wrench for her. He had put that pained expression on her face. But he wasn’t ready to let her go, not yet. He needed more time, more time to decide what to do.

  “I’ll accept your resignation on one condition,” Jason said with the beginning of a smile.

  “What’s the condition? And anyway, you can’t put conditions to a resignation.” Mia said despondently.

  “Hear me out first. Have a drink, dinner or just a walk on the beach with me? Just let me say what I need to say.”

  Mia knew she needed to hear what he had to say, she owed it to herself. At the same time she was scared she would be trapped by her hormones and unable to resist him again. Alcohol? Bad idea. Dinner? Flashbacks of last night had her pushing that one aside as well. “A walk on the beach, Jason, that’s it!”

  “Fine, but it might be a long walk.”

  The only sound was the sand crushing beneath their feet and waves rolling onto the shore. There was no one else in sight for miles. They walked side by side, and when their hands accidentally brushed, Mia folded her arms in front of her. She was inches from him, and yet Jason felt as if she was miles away. The sun was starting to flirt with the horizon in the distance creating a symphony of colors in the sky. The walk would’ve been perfect if it wasn’t for all the things that kept them apart. Mia bent and picked up a pebble and skipped it over the water before Jason finally spoke.

  “I know I need to say I’m sorry, but I can’t say I’m sorry for what’s happened between us.” He looked at her sincerely. Their eyes briefly met before Mia turned her gaze back to the ocean.

  “I don’t need an apology Jason, I’m a big girl.”

  “I know but, I feel I owe you one nonetheless. How do I say this: I’ve never compared you with Angelique. You are worlds apart in personality and in appearance, and in saying that I’m not insulting either of you in any way. I’m just confused at the moment, and the only yard stick I have for my feelings with you, is to compare them with what I feel for her.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I just never thought I could feel this way. When I started seeing Angelique it was fun and I don’t know, call it flirty, exciting even. I enjoyed it.”

  “Jason, I don’t want to hear about your love story with Angelique,” Mia sighed, swallowing back the tears at the thought of how he had fallen in love with the beautiful model.

  Jason stopped and softly put his hands on Mia’s shoulders, “But don’t you see, that’s just it? It wasn’t ever a love story.” He looked over her shoulders as if searching for the words. “I’ve always wanted to settle down and have a family. My parents had a special bond my entire life, and I wanted that for myself. That one person who loved you through the highs and the lows, that always stood by you. One person with whom you could laugh and share your deepest fears with. When I met Angelique, I thought it would grow into that bond. Eventually I asked her to marry me, as I had grown fond of her.” His thumbs started skimming up and down her arms, “But Mia, I had no idea this is what love should feel like. I had no idea it was an all-consuming wave of passion, which took over your senses, your needs and most of all your sense of rational thought.”

  Mia’s heart thudded as Jason spoke the words she had been waiting for. She wanted nothing more than to believe him. “Ever since I met you, you’ve become a drug I can’t live without. I find it hard working if I’m not sure where you are and what you’re doing. That’s the kind of love I was looking for when I found Angelique. Now I’m weeks away from my wedding and I’m having doubts about the woman who’s going to walk down the aisle.” He took her hand and started walking again. “How was I supposed to know I was going to meet you? I don’t know what to do. It’s like I have two different lives at the moment. In San Francisco, I’m a business mogul engaged to one of the most beautiful women in the world. And then on the other hand, I have this quiet life in Hawaii where I manage my businesses from my laptop and the occasional conference call, and I have you. The carefree, spirited, feisty girl who captured my attention the first moment I met her. Who bewitches me with her temper, drives me mad with her mouth, and doesn’t care about my money.”

  “I understand you don’t want to have to choose.” Mia said soberly.

  “Mia, I need to choose, that’s the problem. But I have no idea how you feel about me.” Jason walked a few steps away
from her brushing her fingers through his already messy hair, “Dammit, I love you! But I need to know how you feel. Is this just a fling, some fun with the owner, or do you see a future with me? Shit Mia, I know every inch and mole on your body, but I have no idea what’s cooking in your head. You’ve got the best damn poker face I’ve seen in years. Tell me!” His voice had risen in desperation to get Mia to talk.

  Mia felt her heart racing, beating against her ribcage in frenzy. Jason had just said everything she wanted to hear. He had just told her he loved her. That he would leave his wedding, his life in San Francisco all for her. She just had to tell him to do it. That was the problem. She didn’t want to ask him to love her, to give up all he had for her. She would never be able to choose that from him.

  “I don’t want you to give up anything for me, Jason.” she turned towards the ocean, drawing strength to say the hardest words she had ever had to say. “I don’t think this is going anywhere.”

  “Mia?” Jason asked confused, hurt, and angry.

  “I’ll stay until I find another care taker, but I think it’s best if we try to keep our relationship professional from now on.”

  Jason wanted to drop down on his knees and beg her to rethink her decision, but he had his pride. He had laid his heart on the table, and she had basically just told him to stuff it. If she wanted it professional, she would get professional. Jason took a few steps away from her, his ice blue eyes turning cold from anger and hurt. “I need a guest bedroom ready in two days. My parents are coming for a visit.”