Scottish Traditional Tales

by A. J. Bruford

  He says, ‘East o the moon and west o the stars.’

  He says, ‘Lord, that’s a queer direction.’

  He says, ‘Make oot o’t onythin ye like, Jack.’ Sae he jist left like that.

  He jist gied a kin of laugh: ‘My God, he’s a gey peculiar kin o lad. Och,’ he says, ‘a lad winna worry. I’ve got plenty o money now.’

  But he heaps aa his . . . he has any amount o money, I couldnae value it, but he’s any amount. So he pits it in bags, an he says tae the innkeeper, he says, ‘Will ye keep this gold to me till I come back this wey?’ he says. ‘I must fin’ far the Green Man o Knowledge bides.’

  An the innkeeper shaks his head. He says, ‘Jack, dinnae follae him,’ he says. He says, ‘You’ll go to disaster if you follae him.’

  ‘Ach,’ Jack says, ‘aabody has only oncet to die – why worry? I’ll just follae him.’ But Jack reckoned withoot the Green Man o Knowledge.

  So he hauds on the road, the only road to walk oot o the village, in the opposite direction fra whence he come.

  An he’s haudin on the road, ye ken – an he started gettin tired an weary again, an he took a few gold pieces wi him, nae much, in his pocket, ’fear he would come tae ony mair inns or that, ye ken, where he could get refreshments an that. An he’s haudin on the road – but he jist comes right in aboot til anither thackit hoosie, the same.

  He says, ‘Well, I’ll go up an see this thackit hoosie,’ he says, ‘an they might help me onywey. I’ll pay them.’

  So he chaps at the door, so . . . he hears a voice: ‘Come in, Jack.’

  He says, ‘Lord, they’re wed-informed in this country,’ he says, ‘everybody kens my name.’ So he opens the door an comes in, an says, ‘I’m in.’

  She says, ‘Are ye hungry, Jack? I suppose you are.’

  He says, ‘Yes, I’m hungry.’

  She says, ‘Sit down, Jack.’

  So he sits doon. So he gets the same meal again as he got in the ither place. An yon girl . . . If the first girl was bonnie, this girl was ten times bonnier. She was much bonnier. And if the auld woman was old, this woman was much older – she was ancient! And she was sittin, rockin awa in her chair tae. So they pits him to bed, but the same thing happens in the bed I tellt ye in the other part o the story. He goes tae his bed an rises in the mornin, and the peats was through the night . . . But he notices before he goes to bed this old woman was knittin and she was knittin just a round piece of knittin, ye ken, like crochetin, but it was knittin she wis, jist a round piece like that table there. And it was lyin on the floor when he cam in the mornin.

  ‘Now,’ she says, ‘Jack, you’re lookin for the Green Man o Knowledge.’

  He says, ‘I am.’

  And she says, ‘Jack, we’re here to help you, because you could never manage yourself, Jack.’

  He says, ‘Weel,’ he says, ‘I’ll tak aa the help I can get.’

  So efter his breakfast, she says, ‘Jack,’ she says, ‘take this piece of knittin out to the door, and lay it down and sit on’t – and sit plait-leggèd, Jack, and cross your arms, and,’ she says, ‘whatever happens, don’t look behind you.’ She says, ‘Don’t look behind you, because if you look behind you, it’s the end.’ She says, ‘Whatever happens, don’t look behind you.’

  So he sits this plait-leggèd, and folds his arms. And she says, ‘Say “Away with you.” And,’ she says, ‘whirl it three times round, when you land with it,’ she says, ‘and say “Home with you”. And,’ she says, ‘that’ll be all right, Jack.’

  And he says, ‘Weel, weel, thank ye.’

  So he says, ‘Away with you’ – but he moves that quick the wind just leaves his body. And he’s through what he doesn’t know what – Hellfire, brimstone, water, everything. And he’s just dying to look back! But he minds – he’s a strong-willpowered man – he minds what the auld woman said. He says, ‘Weel, she did nae hairm so far,’ he says. ‘We’ll just keep lookin forrit.’ So he looks forrit.

  But he lands, and he was glaid to land. So he stands up, and he catches this bit o knittin, and he pits it roond his heid three times like that, ye ken, an he says, ‘Away with ye’ – or ‘Back with ye’, it wis, sure, and away it wis. So he jist comes roond the corner, he hears ‘ting-ting-ting’, a blacksmith on an anvil, tinkerin, an so he comes in-aboot, and here a house. And here an old woman sittin like the first, rockin, ye ken, and she was older. If age coonts in that country, she was older.

  And he says, ‘Ah well, well’ – he goes in-aboot, and she says, ‘Well, Jack, we’ve been waitin for you.’ She says, ‘Go in to the house, Jack.’ So Jack goes into the house, and he gets the same meal again. The same bed, the same procedure aa through, till the mornin.

  ‘Now,’ she says, ‘Jack, go round to the smiddy shop,’ she says, ‘and you shall see,’ she says, ‘my husband, and he’s made something for you, Jack. And . . . do what he told you, and you won’t go wrong.’

  So the smith says, ‘I want to talk to you, Jack,’ he says. ‘Now,’ he says, ‘you’re nearin the Green Man o Knowledge. But,’ he says, ‘the Green Man o Knowledge has many precautions.’ ([I’m] forgetting aboot them.) He says, ‘There must be a river to cross – there a river to be crossed,’ he says. He says, ‘I can’t help you cross it, Jack, and there a bridge. But,’ he says, ‘if you step on that bridge it’ll turn to a spider’s web. You’ll fall through it, Jack.’ He says, ‘If you fall in the water, Jack, you’re finished, because the water goes into boilin lava.’ He says, ‘You’re instantly dead.’ He says, ‘There only one way across, Jack,’ he says, ‘it’s his youngest daughter. He’s got three daughters, Jack, and the youngest one,’ he says, ‘is the most powerful of the lot.’ He says, ‘They come down to swim, Jack, every mornin,’ he says, ‘at mebbe ten o’clock,’ he says, ‘that time o the mornin. And,’ he says, ‘whenever they touch water,’ he says, ‘they turn to swans.’ He says, ‘There two black swans, Jack, and a white swan. It’s the white swan you must get, Jack. But if you don’t trap her in the way I’m tellin you, Jack, you’re finished, for she’ll pull you doon. You watch where they’re puttin their clothes, and pick every article up o her clothes – and if you leave a hairpin, she’ll make a outfit out o it,’ he says, ‘don’t leave nothin.’ And he says, ‘Jack, they cross the bridge to the side you’re on,’ he says, ‘and go into the water,’ he says, ‘from that side, Jack.’ He says, ‘They come back and dress there, Jack.’

  So he says, ‘Weel, it’ll likely be true. But,’ he says, ‘this is a gey queer affair, but,’ he says, ‘weel, weel, we’ll try’t.’

  He says, ‘You see that horse-shoe, Jack?’ It was a very large horseshoe. He says, ‘You sit on the horse-shoe, Jack, and don’t look behind, whatever you do, and say, “Away wi you!” and,’ he says, ‘put it round your head three times and say, “Back wi you!” ’

  So Jack does’t, and he gings through the same again, it wis jist torture. But he lands at the banks o the river. And now, as the blacksmith telt him to hide hissel, so Jack hides hissel . . . just aside the bridge, and he sees this three lovely maidens comin ower, and they were bonnie lassies. But the littlest one was the slenderest, and the most graceful o the lot, you would have thought, you know? So they come trippin ower the bridge and undress, and into the water. And whenever they touch the water, the two oldest ones turned til a black swan, and they swum fast an away. And this youngest one undresses; and he watches where she pits her clothes, and ye ken what like Jack, I mean a fairm servant, never seen a woman in his life hardly, says, ‘Lord, this is fine!’ They’re into the water, and they’re away swimming. So he’s awa up wi her claes, up every stitch o claes she had, everything, even the very ribbons, and hides them.

  So the two oldest ones comes out and dresses, and across the bridge and away. And she’s up and doon this side, and she says, ‘Where are you, Jack?’

  He says, ‘I’m here.’

  She says, ‘My clothes, please, Jack.’

  ‘Ah na na, I’m nae giein ye nae claes
,’ he says. ‘I was weel warned aboot ye.’

  She says, ‘Jack, please, my clothes. Are you a gentleman?’

  ‘Na na,’ he says, ‘I’m just Jack the Feel. I’m nae gentleman.’

  She says, ‘What have I to do, Jack?’

  He says, ‘Well,’ he says. He says, ‘It’s a cruel thing to ask, but,’ he says, ‘you must help me across this river on your back.’

  She says, ‘Oh Jack, you’d break my slender back.’

  ‘Ah,’ he says, ‘the old smith’s nae feel. Ye’re nae sae slender.’ He says, ‘Ye’ll take me across the river.’

  She says, ‘Well Jack, step on my back, but whatever you do, on the peril of my life and your life, don’t tell how ye got across.’

  He says, ‘Okay.’

  So he jumps on her back, and she takes him across, an he steps up on the bank.

  So . . . ‘Now,’ she says, ‘Jack, he shall try his best and . . . [to ken] how ye got across, but tell him nothing.’

  He says, ‘Weel, weel,’ he says, ‘I’ll tell him nothing.’

  So he walks up to the hoose – noo she gaes awa an gets dressed, an runs past him awa – he jist goes straight up tae the hoose an he chaps at the door, see. So the door opens, and here’s the Green Man o Knowledge, and he was flabbergasted . . . he was shocked!

  So he looks at him an he says, ‘My God, Jack, how did you get here?’

  ‘Och, jist the wey ye get.’

  He says, ‘Jack, how did you cross the river?’

  ‘Och, flew across.’

  He says, ‘You’ve no wings, Jack.’

  ‘Oh, nothing’s impossible. I can grow wings,’ he says.

  ‘Well, Jack, come in,’ he says. He says, ‘I must shake your hand,’ he says. ‘You’re a good man.’ So Jack shakes his hand – and Jack’s against the waa – sae he gies Jack a push, an Jack’s through a kino drap-door affair, an he lands in a wee roomie, an there’s nae so much room for a moose, never mind a big man like Jack, he gies a couple of notes.

  An he looks, an there a bit dry breid, an hit blue-moulded, an water, an it says, ‘Drink, an eat, an be merry.’ He says, ‘My God, a lad widnae be very merry on that!’

  So he’s sittin awa, but ’at night he hears a whisper – here’s this girl that helped him. She says, ‘Jack, you’ve won me.’ She says, ‘Whenever you made me take you across the river,’ she says, ‘you spelled me, an I love you,’ she says. ‘I’ll love you till the day I die, an I can’t do nothing else.’ But she says, ‘I’ll help you anyway, but please, Jack, don’t move foolish, ’cause he’ll kill ye.’ She says, ‘My father, he’s evil.’

  She says, ‘Here’s some food, Jack.’ So Jack gets a feed o meat, an he was one aboot loves the meat! . . . He was sittin there fair right wi hunger aboot.

  So in the mornin, the place opens and Jack creeps oot. An the Green Man o Knowledge says, ‘How was ye last night, Jack?’

  ‘Ach,’ Jack says, ‘very comfortable, jist fine.’

  He says, ‘Ye wisnae fine, Jack?’

  ‘A never slept better.’

  He says, ‘You’re not bad to please, Jack.’

  ‘Ach, a lad cannae be bad to please in this times.’

  So he says, ‘Would you like,’ he says, ‘Jack,’ he says, ‘would you like,’ he says, ‘to prove to me that you are a man?’

  Jack says, ‘Yes, I would like to prove to ye I’m a man.’

  ‘Well,’ he says, ‘Jack, I’ll gie ye three tasks.’ He says, ‘They’re not hard tasks, any child could do them,’ he says. He says, ‘They’re not hard tasks, but,’ he says, ‘they take doin, Jack.’ He says, ‘Do you see,’ he says, ‘that dry wal . . . well in the garden, Jack?’

  He says, ‘Aye, I see the dry wal.’

  He says, ‘I want you,’ he says, ‘Jack, to go down to the bottom o that wal,’ he says, ‘an take out my wife’s engagement ring,’ he says, ‘which she lost there twenty year ago. Oh,’ he says, ‘it isn’t hard to dae, Jack, I could do it.’

  Jack says, ‘Why d’ye nae dee it?’

  He says, ‘I want you to do it, Jack.’

  Jack says, ‘Weel, I’ll try ’t.’ So he’s claain his heid, an, ‘My God!’

  And he says, ‘Jack, not today; tomorrow, Jack.’ An he says, ‘Come on tae I show you a photograph o my wife, Jack.’ So Jack’s standin lookin – he says, ‘Aye, she’s a bonnie woman’ – an he gies a push again, an he’s intae anither kin o a cavity, an he gies a note this time.

  So the hard breid’s there again, an the water, an the same fare.

  So here she comes again, wi mair food for ’im. So she says, ‘Jack, the task he’s going to give you is near impossible – it is impossible, Jack,’ she says. ‘I shall help you to make it possible. Now,’ she says, ‘the well is thirty-five feet [deep] Jack. An,’ she says, ‘I’ll make a lether . . . a ladder oot o my body from the tap o the well tae the bottom o the well.’ An she says, ‘If you miss one step, Jack, you’ll break a bone in my body.’ An she says, ‘For God’s sake, Jack, watch what you’re doin.’

  So Jack says, ‘Weel. . . .’ An he says, ‘Whit wey will I see’t?’

  She says, . . . ‘The well’s covered in mud,’ she says, ‘it’s a terrible well,’ she says, ‘but I’ll make the bottom clear, an you’ll see the ring shinin.’

  He says, ‘Weel, weel, I’ll try that.’

  So he comes to the wal: the Green Man o Knowledge takes him oot the next mornin, takes him to the wal – an says: ‘There’s the well, Jack.’

  So Jack says, ‘Well.’ So Jack leans ower, and feels for the lether, an he feels her there, her shouthers, God! – an he takes one step . . . [? away in] plunge doon quick, kiddin he’s drappin like, an he’s steppin doon, steppin doon, till he comes tae the last step, an he misses – he says, ‘My God, I’ve broke her neck! . . . Ah,’ he says, ‘weel, weel, we cannae help it,’ so he grabs the ring, an he’s hup like the haimmers o hell, an oot o the wal.

  An . . . so he shows the Green Man o Knowledge it, like that. He says, ‘There’s the ring.’

  ‘Oh,’ he says, ‘you’re clever, Jack.’ He says, ‘Let me see ’t, Jack.’

  ‘No,’ Jack says. ‘That’s not you who done the work.’

  He says, ‘Who’s helpin you, Jack?’

  He says, ‘Nobody’s helpin me.’

  He says, ‘Somebody’s helpin you, Jack.’

  Jack says, ‘No!’

  He says, ‘Well, Jack,’ he says, ‘you’re a clever man, ’he says. ‘You’ve deen the first task,’ he says, ‘but,’ he says, ‘the second one’s harder, Jack.’

  So he takes Jack back, an Jack he sits down to a lovely meal. But Jack’s awa to eat his meal when the seat gaes oot ablow him an whump! away in anither cavity. He says, ‘My God, I canna stand this much longer,’ he says, ‘it’ll kill me.’

  But he’s sittin, an he’s lookin at this hard breid again, when she comes again. ‘Oh,’ she says, ‘Jack,’ she says, ‘if it had been the other step, ye’d have broke my neck.’ She says, ‘You broke my pinkie, Jack, and I wore dinner gloves and Father didn’t notice it.’ She says, ‘If he had noticed it, Jack, we’d both have been dead.’

  He says, ‘Fit dis he plan to dee to me the morn?’

  She says, ‘He’s got a task for ye to do, Jack. Ye’ve to build a castle out of pure nothing within sixty minutes.’

  ‘Oot o nothing?’ he says. ‘Lord, I couldnae thack a hoose in three months,’ he says, ‘never mind build a castle oot o nothing.’

  She says, ‘Jack,’ she says, ‘he’s goin to take ye tae a hill at the back of our castle, an ask ye to build it. And,’ she says, ‘it must be bigger and larger and nicer than ours. An,’ she says, ‘Jack, I shall do it. But,’ she says, ‘watch what ye’re sayin, Jack, ’cause ye’ll get the baith o us trapped.’ See?

  He says, ‘Weel, weel,’ but he gets oot next mornin again, an the Green Man o Knowledge says: ‘How was ye last night, Jack?’

  ‘Ah,’ he says, ‘I wis niver better.�
� He says, ‘My God, ye’ve got richt places in this hoose. I like this hoose – this castle.’

  So he says, ‘Yes, Jack,’ he says, ‘I’ve a small task for ye today, Jack. Anybody could do it, but,’ he says, ‘I want you to do it, Jack.’

  Jack says, ‘What is ’t?’

  He says, ‘I want ye to build a castle, Jack, bigger than my one and larger, and nicer in every way.’ He says, ‘I want ye to build it in sixty minutes.’

  Jack says, ‘That’s a gey stiff task to gie a lad.’

  ‘Oh, but you’re Jack,’ he says, ‘you got here,’ he says, ‘you got the engagement ring, Jack, this shouldn’t bother you.’

  ‘Well,’ Jack says, ‘I’ll try’t.’

  He says, ‘Go on, Jack, do’t.’

  ‘Ah but,’ Jack says, ‘I’ll be giein awa trade secrets – you go awa,’ he says.

  So he says, ‘I cannot watch, Jack?’

  ‘No,’ Jack says, ‘I canna let ye watch.’ So he turns his back and leaves.

  So Jack sits for aboot half-an-’oor, an he says, ‘If this deem disnae hurry up, I’ll be clean killed. This lad’ll be back here because she’s takin an aafae time. . . . Oh,’ he says. ‘My God, this is nae ees, she’s takin too lang.’ He says, ‘I’ll be makin tracks oot o here.’ So he turns roon, an the castle’s at the back o’m, he wis lyin lookin the ither wey! So he says, ‘Thank God.’

  But he’s walkin roon it, an he’s lookin ower it – an there a hole aboot the size o this hoose. He says, ‘Oh,’ he says, ‘she’s made a mistake. Oh,’ he says, ‘whar is she?’

  An he hears a voice sayin, ‘Jack, that’s nae a mistake. When he comes an looks at this hole, Jack, he’ll say, “What’s this, what’s this?” An . . . you say til him, Jack, . . . “I’ve left that part for you to full up”, an see whit he says, Jack.’

  So up comes the Green Man o Knowledge, an he says, ‘My goodness, whit a lovely castle,’ he says, ‘Jack,’ he says, ‘I do gie ye credit.’ He says, ‘You are a clever man.’ So he walks aa roon’ it, an he says, ‘Oh my goodness, Jack! Whit a mess! What did ye leave this hole here for?’

  He says, ‘That’s for you to fill.’