02 Seekers

by Lynnie Purcell

  “It does for me.”

  I laughed and started pulling out things for a grilled cheese sandwich.

  “Alex is here,” Daniel said, moving to help me with the food.

  “Good! She can help me pick out something to wear for tonight,” Ellen said.

  “I don’t know if she’s going to feel like it,” Daniel said.

  “Why?”

  Before he could answer, the front door creaked open and tired feet drug along the wood floor in a very un-Alex way. Seconds later, Alex appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. Her normally happy face was etched with lines of sadness. Unlike Ellen, Alex worked hard to keep her

  thoughts scrambled, so the reason behind her sadness was obscured. She was getting better, to the point where I couldn’t hear her unless she let me. Her sadness was obvious, though; no amount of thought scrambling could take away the expression on her face.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  Alex sighed and sat down at our round kitchen table. “I just broke up with Davis.”

  Davis and Alex had only been dating for a month, but Alex really liked him. He was polite and quiet, and absolutely adored her. It was enough for any girl to want.

  “Why?” Ellen asked.

  Alex shrugged and looked down at the table. The tired lines grew more pronounced as she

  started tracing invisible lines on the table with her finger.

  “Alex…if you don’t tell us Ellen will ‘mom’ it out of you,” I said.

  “I will,” Ellen agreed.

  “Then I’ll ‘Clare’ it out of you,” I added.

  “She will,” Ellen agreed again.

  “How are you supposed to date someone when you can’t be honest with them?” Alex suddenly

  asked the room in a fit of irritation. “I mean, how? How do you have a real relationship when you can’t tell the person you’re with that you have the ability to turn into a demon? How do you go about mentioning that without putting him at risk? How does that even work? I can’t be

  honest with him…ever. It’s useless…Dating is useless.”

  Daniel shifted uneasily next to me and turned to keep the bread from burning. He took the

  spatula from me and flipped the sandwich. His flip was deft and graceful, but the movement was rushed, awkward, so unlike him. It was strange, but I kept my attention on Alex. Her problem was the more immediate one.

  She shook her head in frustration as she continued speaking. “Davis is great, but I can’t lie anymore…he was upset about the breakup, too. I could see it.” Alex shut her blue eyes, eyes that were capable of seeing straight into the heart of a person’s motivation; eyes that saw more since I had given her my blood a month ago.

  Not only had I given her the ability to change into a Nightstalker, but other talents were starting to develop. She wasn’t a Watcher like Daniel, but she wasn’t strictly human anymore. She was as much between worlds as I was. It was another thing I had placed on my ‘things to feel guilty about’ list.

  “This is my fault,” I said.

  Alex rolled her eyes. “God, if we have this conversation again, I’m going to scream.”

  “That would be loud,” I said.

  “Some things just aren’t meant to be,” Alex said. “End of story.” She turned to Ellen, her face purposefully transforming away from the sadness. “You and Dad are going to dinner tonight, right?”

  “Yes…” Ellen agreed.

  Alex grabbed Ellen’s hand and stood. I sensed an epic distraction in the making; one that would keep her mind away from her breakup. “Come on. Let’s find you something amazing to wear,”

  she said to Ellen. Alex forced Ellen down the hall and up the stairs, their laughter and their conversation filling the house with sound.

  Daniel turned off the stove and put three sandwiches on a plate. He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. I leaned next to him on the counter and mimicked his stance. Alex’s

  breakup made me sad…I had loved seeing her in a normal relationship. It was proof that normal could exist in my world. As far ‘normal’ as normal ever really was…

  “I guess I’d better take this up to them,” I said gesturing at the food, knowing Ellen would forget to eat if I didn’t take her food to her.

  “I think I should shower,” he glanced down at his sweaty clothes.

  Neither of us moved. Daniel stared at the floor, and I stared at the clock over the kitchen door.

  We both remained lost in separate, serious thoughts for a long moment. Then, I closed the

  distance between us and put a hand on his cheek. “I’m glad I don’t have to lie to you.” His eyes met mine, full of doubt. “I’m glad…I’m just glad,” I added.

  You shouldn’t be. He realized I could hear his thoughts through our shared touch and cut me out abruptly. To cover for his hasty block, he kissed me on the neck. He started to leave the kitchen to take his shower, another distraction to get away from me. He paused at the door, his back to me. “I promise to try my hardest to make sure you don’t regret feeling that way.”

  He stepped down the hall and up my stairs without another word. I picked up the sandwiches and followed him up, hearing him start the shower, and went to Ellen’s room to help pick out a dress.

  Alex was sprawled out on Ellen’s bed, her feet dangling over the edge. She was talking to Ellen as Ellen changed in her closet.

  “Daniel and I were going to go to a movie tonight, but I’ll stay home instead,” I told Alex setting the food down on the nightstand.

  “What for?” Alex asked, grabbing one of the sandwiches.

  “‘Cause you just broke up with a guy you like, which has made you sad, which, in turn, makes me sad.”

  Alex shook her head at my offer. “Thanks, but no thanks. It’s not like Davis is my first breakup or anything. My first breakup, now that was hard…Andy Henderson. He had the best smile too.

  Man…you could swim in that smile. You could swim laps around that smile…laps and laps.”

  “That’s a visual…” I stared at her, doubting she was as okay as she was trying to make me

  believe. “We can watch one of your horrible reality TV shows and binge on Rocky Road.”

  “Oh, you do know how to tempt a girl, but I’m fine. Honestly,” she said.

  “Swear you’re not just being selfless,” I commanded, holding up the thumb I had cut to give her my blood; the blood that made us sisters.

  She touched her thumb to mine. “I swear.”

  “All right, but when I get back we’re going to talk about it,” I said.

  “That sounds so ominous. Oh! I love that one, Ellen!”

  Ellen stepped into the middle of the room and twirled around in a dark blue dress, the dress beautiful against her pale skin, and smiled. The room brightened with her smile and some of the negative emotions I had been harboring dropped away. Alex was right. It was perfect. I joined Alex on the bed and felt myself unwind as I joined in on their conversation. It was a feeling that couldn’t last.

  Daniel and I got into the car in silence. His dark mood spoke a thousand times louder than any words ever could. He had been introverted since our conversation in the kitchen. ‘Introverted’

  was a word Daniel didn’t know most days of the week.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked over the music he had playing.

  “What makes you think something is wrong?” he asked.

  “You’re showing symptoms of keeping things from me. Minor symptoms include avoiding my

  eyes. Major symptoms include trying to touch your nose with your eyebrows.”

  His scowl faded, and he laughed. “Is there a cure?”

  “Truth,” I said pointedly.

  His answer was immediate. “I’ve been in contact with an old friend, who seems to think there’s a way of finding out what Marcus is planning, and why he has spent so many resources in tracking you down.”

  “Shouldn’t that be a good thing?” I asked.

&
nbsp; Daniel made a face and looked out at the sky.

  “Is that what you were doing these past couple of days? Seeing your friend?” I tried again.

  “Can we talk about it later?” he asked.

  “Define ‘later’,” I said.

  “Not now.”

  “I can handle ‘not now’,” I said slowly.

  “Me, too,” Daniel said.

  “But it’s not the end of it,” I tacked on.

  He smiled crookedly in response, knowing I wouldn’t give up.

  We sped to the lonely interstate out of King’s Cross talking about other things then, things that felt real on the surface, but were starting to unravel the further we got from home. Around us, over the blue mountains of my home, dark clouds started to form, a summer storm barreling

  towards us. I knew it would reach us soon.

  Chapter 2

  The movie Daniel took me to see was gory, horrible, and absolutely hysterical. I wiped away tears, which had leaked over from laughing so hard, as we walked out of the theater. Daniel smiled at my laughter, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. I could tell he was trying hard to act natural for my benefit. I wasn’t fooled. Even as he smiled at me and my laughter, I sensed the tension in his body.

  Outside, rain poured down in great sheets of noise, the storm having released its furious power while we were inside. The sheets of water were so thick I couldn’t see two feet in front of me against the dark evening. The transition from the light we had walked into the theater in and the dark of the storm we had walked out to, made me feel as if we had went in during one life and had come out during another.

  I was willing to run to the car with Daniel, not minding the rain, but he stopped me. “I’ll bring the car around. No sense in both of us getting wet.” He kissed my neck and ran out into the storm before I could argue.

  I tucked my hands in my pockets, annoyed he was being so pushy, and leaned against the cement building to wait. I watched the rain fall and tried to make sense of his mood and the strange sinking sensation that mood left in my stomach. As I waited, the door to my left opened, and I heard two voices I could have lived without hearing for the rest of my summer – or even the rest of my life. Alex hung out with them sometimes, but I made a point not to. Seeing them at school was bad enough.

  “It’s not funny, Mark!” Jennifer said.

  “Is so! Didn’t you see her fall?!” Mark chortled happily, stupidly.

  An image of a larger girl, an underclassman from our school, flashed into my mind as he

  replayed it in his rather small brain. In the memory she tripped over an uneven bit in the carpet and face-planted right in front of Mark. He thought it better than the action movie they had just left. At least, Jennifer was showing some humanity. I sunk back into the wall hoping they

  wouldn’t notice me, afraid to get angry and do something I regretted. I should have known better.

  Jennifer looked back at the girl – from her thoughts I knew the girl was her cousin – and caught sight of me. She stopped and tugged on Mark’s hand to make him do the same. He hadn’t

  noticed me. He had been too busy trying to think of ways to get Jennifer to go get the car instead of him.

  “Clare?”

  Crap.

  “Hey, guys,” I said, my eyes raking the rain for Daniel’s car.

  Jennifer’s eyes were wide with surprise. “What are you doing?” … skulking in the shadows like that? It’s way creepy.

  Hiding from you. “Daniel’s getting the car. He didn’t want me to get wet, I guess.”

  “He’s here?” Mark asked cautiously, looking over his shoulder casually, but I sensed his

  trepidation.

  Daniel and Mark had argued over me once and didn’t talk anymore. Mark was bitter, thinking his friend had chosen a girl before friendship. What was it? Bros before hoes? It didn’t help Mark’s feelings that Mark was entirely aware that should they fight, Daniel would win hands down. It just made him feel bitter.

  “Yes, he is,” I said.

  More thought from the pair followed my answer.

  What in the world does he see in her?

  I guess she really is off limits now. I’d like to get with her just once, but chances are she’s into freaky stuff.

  My eyebrows lifted. I wasn’t the one imaging the things Mark was imaging about us. He

  definitely had a problem…more than a few, from the looks of things. My blood pressure rose and my hands clenched in response as his thoughts pounded into my brain. Killing them both during a fit of irritation, in a crowded move theater, would only complicate things. I didn’t need a murder charge on top of the other worries I had riding on my shoulders. Taking deep breaths to calm my anger, I looked past the pair again, but the rain was too thick. Where was Daniel? Of all the times to be late!

  “Do you have any plans for the summer?” Jennifer asked over an awkward beat of silence.

  “I might be going to L.A to see my mom’s best friend,” I said, happy to have a distraction.

  We were unsure if we could go with everyone after us. I was all for Daniel, Sam, and Alex

  coming along, but Ellen didn’t want to put Naomi, her best friend and de-facto aunt to me, in a dangerous situation. I could see her point, but I really wanted Alex to see my birth city, and I really wanted Daniel to meet Naomi.

  “That’s cool!” Jennifer replied in fake excitement. Her question had just been a cover so she could talk about her own plans, a trip to Alaska.

  She rambled on about her plans, and I looked past her again. Really, where was he? Mark caught me looking and his lips curled up into a smirk. The scowl on my face was no longer contained; I glowered at them in hatred’s cousin, loathing. Finally, a car horn sounded from under the

  covered area, and a beautiful black car beckoned me: my knight in shining Audi. Thank God.

  “I hope you have fun on your trip,” I said, circling around them. “See ya.”

  I sprinted to the car, not waiting for their replies. Their mean thoughts trailed after me, but I didn’t care. I was just happy to get away from them.

  “Sorry,” Daniel apologized as soon as I was in the car. “I didn’t mean to leave you to them.”

  “What were you doing?” I asked.

  “Talking on the phone,” he said vaguely.

  “Is this later?” I asked, referring back to his promise to talk about his method of finding out Marcus’s plans. His face said the phone call had been about something dangerous, the sort of dangerous things he had been keeping from me.

  “No.” He turned up the radio to block me out and kept his hands firmly planted on the steering wheel to avoid my touch.

  If I didn’t know any better I would have thought he was frightened about something and that he thought telling me would only make it worse.

  I turned down Artie Shaw, his jazz a welcome distraction any other time. “Are we really going to play this game all night?” I asked.

  “Which game? Life? I hear its hours of fun.”

  “Until you lose,” I said. “I was thinking more like poker. There’s a thing in it where you pretend like you have one set of cards when you’re really holding another. They have a name for it even

  – bluffing.”

  “Really?” he asked, his mouth twitching.

  “That’s what they call it on Celebrity Poker. Alex’s been watching it.”

  “I see,” he said seriously.

  “I’m sure you do.”

  I crossed my arms and waited, full to the brim with determination to get to the bottom of his weirdness. He turned the radio back up in response, mutely refusing to answer my questions. I turned away and stared out the passenger window. He knew how I felt about him keeping things from me, so why the secrets? Was he contemplating doing something I wouldn’t like, or was he simply keeping secrets out of habit?

  The blurred lights of the downtown faded into the tall mountains, which rose beyond the veil of rain as we made our way back
home. The city life that was Asheville – such as it was – quickly fell behind us and the forest wrapped around us, closing us in. I watched as row after row of dark trees faded out of view of the glare of Daniel’s bright headlights.

  Finally, he sighed and reached out to turn the radio down again. “Sorry,” he said. He ran a hand through his midnight hair, then brought the hand back to the steering wheel so he could tap on it impatiently.

  “Yeah?” I asked. Sorry wasn’t what I was looking for.

  “We need to talk about something,” he continued, “but not right now. I want this night to be ours. Please?”

  “Promise you’ll tell me what’s going on,” I demanded.

  “I promise. Now stop scowling before I do something desperate.”

  “Desperate how?” I asked playfully.

  “Something that involves total humiliation on my part,” he said.

  “Like what?”

  “Like letting Beatrice get out her photo album,” he replied.

  “There’s a whole album?” I asked.

  He nodded, his face rueful at the admission.

  “Interesting. I’ll have to remember that,” I said.

  “Don’t think I don’t know where Ellen keeps your, ‘box of memories,’ I believe she calls it,” he said.

  I imagined him seeing the picture of me naked in the bath, while I made a fort out of rubber-duckies and washcloths, and shuddered. There was no way I was ever going to let Ellen pull that out from blackmail hell.

  “That’s what I thought,” he said, smiling at me.

  “I think a truce is in order-” I began.

  My words were cut off as the horizon in front of us lit up like a Christmas tree. Lightning flashed between the mountains, not once, but three times in a row. Even through the metal of the car, and the distance separating us, I could feel the aftershocks of the electricity. The rain increased its tempo on the hood of our car as the light faded back into dark. The inside of the car suddenly felt charged and alive; it was a feeling I associated with Margaret when she got angry. The car started to drift to the shoulder of the road as the thunder rippled out in furious sound. I pulled my eyes away from the storm to look at Daniel and saw that his eyes had turned as distant as the moon. I grabbed the steering wheel to prevent us from wrapping around one of the trees, which closed the road in. Our speed made the jerk very dangerous. The car fishtailed as I fought to right the car, but Daniel didn’t take his foot off the accelerator. From his body language, and his blank, faraway stare, I knew he was lost in the future. We swerved again as I fought to right the fishtail and his eyes cleared. He took control of the car with a funny jerk and his eyes narrowed.