by Simone Elise
“You can go.” I didn’t want him around anyway. I didn’t need his disapproval. I didn’t need to be lectured.
“Yeah. No, I can’t.” He turned around. “Just go to bed, Debs.”
“But we haven’t—”
“I said, go to bed. Any bed. Apart from mine.”
“Trigger, just go with her,” I groaned. All I wanted to do was get hammered to the point that I could sleep. I didn’t need him around. I didn’t need anything from him.
I watched the girl disappear up the stairs. I was refilling my glass. Considering I only got a sip from my last one, I made this one stronger. Shaking my head, I couldn’t think of one reason why he would turn down a girl willing to go to bed with him. This was Trigger after all. Women always came first.
I was swallowing a mouthful of vodka and orange juice when his hands wrapped around my waist.
“What the hell are you doing?” I went stiff from his touch. My automatic reaction was to get out of his grip. So I started to wriggle. My hands went to his and I attempted to unlock them. But while I was doing that, he lifted me up off the stool. “Let me GO!” I pushed down on his arms.
Only to be thrown over his shoulder, like I weighed nothing at all.
“If you don’t put me down, I’ll start screaming.” It wasn’t a threat. I seriously would.
“Do you want to wake Tyson?” His voice had an edge to it.
Of course I didn’t. He walked us up the stairs. Even if I couldn’t scream, I wouldn’t just be a dead doll on his shoulder. So I started punching his back and wriggling. “Put me down Trigger! I’m not yours to pick up. Or to touch!”
I wasn’t anyone’s. He scoffed, but didn’t put me down. All I wanted was to have a quiet drink. Alone. Was that asking for too much?
“Put. Me. Down,” I gritted out each word while punching his back with all my force. I couldn’t see what he was doing, but we stopped at a door. I only had a clear view of the floor.
I heard the door open and then heard it close. He finally put me down. Slowly. Making sure his hands ran up my sides. As soon as my feet touched the ground, I was out of his grasp.
His room. Why were we in his room? I looked around the too familiar room. The clothes on the couch. The bathroom I used to keep clean. The photos on the bedside tables. And then there was that bed. How many hours had I spent in it?
“What am I doing here, Trigger?” I wasn’t having sex with him. I might have had a sip of liquor, but I wasn’t drunk and I also wasn’t stupid.
His face softened and he gave me a look I rarely saw on his face: concern.
“You need sleep, Kim.” He took a step toward me and I took one back, backing into the wall.
“And what makes you think I’d sleep here? With you?” This was the last place I’d dare close my eyes.
“Kim.” He took another step toward me and I shot a hand out.
“Don’t come near me.”
“You need sleep. Take your dress off.”
My mouth fell open. “You don’t honestly expect me to sleep here where you have been banging your way through every whore possible.”
He had his hands on his hips and was looking at me patiently, like he was waiting for a little child to behave. “Dress, Kim.” His words were calm and steady. The way he was looking at me, it twisted something inside me.
Like he knew me better than I knew myself. Like he knew what my body needed and he was here willing to give it. He did know me. Too well. I gripped the bottom of my dress and pulled it off over my head. I should have felt embarrassed being in my underwear in front of him. But I wasn’t. He had seen me completely naked many times.
But it’d been a while and there was no chance he was getting anywhere tonight. Not with me, anyway.
He caught my dress. He had a smirk on his face and I didn’t know why. While I was glaring at him, he kicked his boots off, took off his leather vest and t-shirt. How many times had I run my hand over those tight muscles? How I loved to touch them and kiss them. Trigger had the body of a god and he worked hard to keep it. Always in the gym.
“In bed.” He gestured his head toward his bed. When I didn’t jump to it he added, “Don’t make me make you.”
He would, too. I frowned, and then sighed. It wasn’t worth a fight. I walked around to the side of the bed.
“There’s no point anyway. I won’t sleep. I can’t sleep.” I threw the blankets back and lay down.
“Why can’t you sleep?”
I chewed my bottom lip, not wanting to answer. The bed dipped as he climbed in, lying next to me. He grabbed the blankets and pulled them over me.
“Kim, look at me. Why can’t you sleep?”
He thought he had a magic spell over me. He was wrong. I wasn’t about to open up to him. Not after how he’d hurt me. Not after I watched him drag woman after woman away with him. I scoffed. Most likely to this bed, too.
I rolled onto my side and stared at the wall. He didn’t deserve answers. And he was no priest so I wasn’t confessing.
I felt his hand on my hip and he gently pulled me closer to him. My back was against his chest. I should get up. I should leave. I shouldn’t be here. But darn it, it felt so comfortable and right. Just being against him. I was back to being my sixteen-year-old self, who just loved to be touched by him.
Gently he slipped his arm under my head and I naturally curled back in to him. I was going to hate myself in the morning.
“I know you don’t trust me. But I will earn your trust back. I promise.” His words were just below a whisper. As if I wasn’t meant to hear them. He then planted a soft kiss on my shoulder and pulled me in even closer toward him, making sure there was no gap.
Why did I feel so comfortable? So content? Being in his arms just calmed me. As if the storm I had been battling for days was gone. And now I could rest. My worries about Tyson. About Abby. About Dad. About Reaper. All gone. And my mind was quiet as I lay between his arms, listening to him breathing in and out, his hot breath against my neck.
My eyelids got heavy and the last thing I remember was him kissing the back of my head as if I were something special to him.
***
Reaper
It was early. I was in the bar, Tyson was in his stroller and I was going over the list of addresses we were going to crash today. It didn’t help that club business was backing up either. While finding Abby was at the top of my list, the club still needed attention. Members needed to be pulled into line. Guns needed to be delivered. Then there were our businesses which owed us rent that I hadn’t sent anyone to collect.
“You wanted to see me?”
I looked up. Brad. Right. I was trying to track him down last night. “Yeah, take a seat.” I pushed out a stool.
Tyson slept like a champ last night, giving me a few hours peace. But my mind was racing with what needed to be done on top of finding Abby. I had been trying to get hold of Brad last night to ask him something. But he was nowhere to be found.
“What’s up?” Brad glanced in the stroller and then at the stool. “Are those the addresses we are hitting today?” His eyes were on my map as he took a seat on the stool.
“Yeah, they are, but that’s not why I wanted to see you.”
“What? Have I pissed off the mother charter president already?” He smirked at me.
“Something like that.” I lit up a cigarette. “You know I only want men I can trust beside me, right?”
He looked at me defensively. “You know I’m behind you one hundred percent. I’m more dedicated to finding Abby than any of the other men. Hell, I was out all night crawling around bars looking for leads.”
“That’s where you were.” Well, that answered why I couldn’t find him last night. “I can’t have you off running leads by yourself.”
“Why the fuck not?” he scoffed, looking at me with disapproval. “If finding Abby means I don’t go by the rules, then so be it.” His temper was flaring, his fi
ngers rounding into a tightly clenched fist. Brad’s temper was nearly as bad as mine. Nearly. “You got a problem with how I work?”
For the first time since Abby left, I found myself smiling. Fuck it. I hadn’t had a reason to smile since she was taken. But right now, as Brad but right now I was smiling.
“What the fuck you smiling about?”
“You,” I smirked and leaned over the bar, grabbing two shot glasses and a bottle of whiskey. I hadn’t had a drop of liquor since Abby was taken. But one shot wasn’t going to put me off my game. Fuck it, I could get blasted and still be sharp. But I wouldn’t take the risk.
“What you getting the whiskey for?” Brad’s voice rose, as if I had gone completely mad.
“’Cause we are having a toast.”
“Did we find Abby?” The hope in his voice shattered my smile, and instead, I found myself frowning again.
“No.”
“Then I don’t see a reason to be fucking toasting anything.”
I pushed the shot glass toward him. “Like I said, I have something to ask you.” I took the cigarette out of my mouth and put it in the ashtray.
“More like tell me off. Fuck it, Reaper. When have you been about rules?”
“Never.”
“Exactly.”
“But I have to change that. I have to set an example, and so do you,” I watched him roll his eyes, ready to give me another serve, “if you are going to be my vice president.”
The expression dropped off his face and he just stared blankly at me. The anger from before was gone. I think he was in shock.
“But I’m not next in line. Fuck that. I’m nowhere near the fucking line. I haven’t served enough time to be a mother chapter vice president. You need someone with experience by your side, like Trigger. Fuck, he has heaps. He should still be up for it.”
“Don’t want Trigger. I want you. Plus, he wanted to give up the patch to begin with. He was Roach’s VP. Not mine. I want someone I can trust my charter and family with. And that’s you.”
I had never trusted a guy more than I trusted Brad. He took care of Abby when I was on the road. He went to every one of Tyson’s ultrasounds. He managed to keep my charter in check while managing my family. I thought a lot of him. And right now, I was ready to pay him back for all his hard work.
“So, you up to it?” I said, pushing the shot glass toward him. “But fuck the rules, we can make them up as we go.” I wasn’t used to having such a large volume of men behind me. I was going into this half-blind, so having a man I trusted by my side was going to make the difference between me sinking or floating.
“I’ve never been a role model.”
I scoffed, “’Cause I make such a fucking good one.”
“Yeah but you’re the Reaper. Men were born to follow you. They either admire you or fear you.”
“They also won’t question my decisions. So when I say I want you as my VP, if anyone had a problem with it, they wouldn’t be saying much. My charter. My rules.”
“You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”
I looked him in the eye. “Deadly. So are we going to drink to this or not?”
Brad’s fingers wrapped around the shot glass and a smile spread across his lips. “Fucking oath.”
“To... raising hell.” I raised my shot glass.
“To raising hell.”
“What has you two drinking so early?” Trigger came down the stairs, looking fresh from a shower. What had him up early? He normally didn’t surface till mid-afternoon. And when he did, he was in a foul mood with a hangover.
“Just gave Brad the vice president patch,” I said while looking at him more closely. Why the fuck did he seem so happy?
“Pay raise, brother. It’s fun and games. You’ll do alright.” He whacked Brad on the back and then kneeled to look at Tyson. “Didn’t hear this one crying last night.”
“Yeah, he slept. For a few hours anyway.”
“You heading out soon?”
“Yeah, I’ll give the boys till eight. Then Brad gets the pleasure of getting them up.”
“Great,” Brad muttered. “Do you know how much stuff I get thrown at me when I go to wake them up? Bones pulled his gun yesterday.”
Trigger laughed. “Boys just aren’t used to early mornings.”
“Neither are you.” I looked at him, curious. “Why are you up?”
“Kim’s sleeping so I thought I’d take Tyson for the morning,” he said to me as if it wasn’t a big deal. He even shrugged his shoulders, as if what he just said was totally normal and not completely out of the blue.
“You? Look after Tyson? Do you even know how?” Brad was just as shocked as me. He was asking the same questions I was thinking.
Trigger rolled his eyes. “I’m not stupid.”
He might have thought he was up for the challenge but I had one question first. “How do you know Kim’s asleep?”
Kim normally got up right about now. Every morning since Abby was taken she was up by eight and taking over from me. It wasn’t like her to change routine. Trigger was never volunteering for babysitting either.
Sure, I had him on lockdown, watching out for Kim. But that was different from caring for Tyson. I wasn’t one of those dads who would just dump their kid on anyone. Kim, I knew I could trust with his safety. I also knew I could trust Trigger to make sure both weren’t harmed. Kim felt safe around him, so he was the best pick to watch her.
“Does it matter?” Trigger said with a defensive look in his eyes. As if he was hiding something.
“It does to me.”
“I’m just making sure she is sleeping and not running herself into the ground. You wanted me to look after her, so there I am.” Trigger said the words, but the actions behind his words weren’t crystal cut. He wasn’t doing this for me. He was doing this for Kim. He also wasn’t just looking after her for me. He was doing it because, deep down in that twisted soul of his, he loved her. Even if he wouldn’t admit it.
I stared at him. Abby and Tyson were the two most important things in my life. My life revolved around them breathing. Did I trust Trigger with Tyson? He had proven this week he could keep Kim and Tyson safe. Kim still hadn’t given a lecture bout leaving him with her yet. I had thought for sure she would be knocking my door down as soon as she found out.
“Fine.” I pointed a finger at him. “But if one thing happens to him, I swear, Trigger–”
“You will chop off my balls or something. I get it Reaper. Nothing will happen to him. We will watch some crap-ass kids’ shows. I’ll give him his morning bottle. And if he starts crying, I’ll walk him and rock him. So you can stop stressing.”
“Well, as long as you’re prepared for a slow death if something happens to him, I don’t see why not.” I got up off the stool. “Kim OK?” I was asking him because it seemed like he knew more about her than he was letting on.
“Fine. Just needs sleep.” Trigger looked at Brad, then back at me. “I think you two should start your day.”
“Go wake up the boys, Brad.” I folded the map and put it in my back pocket. “Rent to collect, guns to deliver and cookhouses to search. We will have to split up today to get it all done.”
Trigger gripped the stroller. “While you boys do that, Tyson and I are going to watch television.”
“I think I prefer his day to ours,” Brad grumbled before heading off.
“Life as a vice president isn’t easy,” Trigger shouted after him. Brad turned around and gave him the finger.
“So you and Kim sorted things out then?” I followed him as he pushed Tyson through the bar to the living rooms.
“If you mean by her not wanting to stab me to death, then yeah, we have sorted things out.”
“I meant it when I said you are not to lead her on.”
We came to a stop in one of the living rooms and Trigger took a seat on the couch in front of a television.
“And as I told
you, mind your own business.”
“My charter. My sister-in-law. My business. You fuck around with her, you answer to me. Simple as that, Trigger.”
He was grinding his teeth as he turned on the TV. “You know, it’s a bit weird you being so protective of Abby’s twin. Kim isn’t stupid. She knows what she gets herself into. Unless the problem is more about you feeling something for someone you shouldn’t.” Trigger was dancing on a very thin line. I would have had him off that couch and against the wall, smashing in his jaw… if Tyson hadn’t been in the way.
“You implying I have a thing for Kim?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Makes sense. She is Abby’s twin after all.”
“She and Abby are nothing alike. Don’t let my calmness fool you. I will have you breathing through a tube if you ever mention this fucking shit again.”
His eyes met mine. While I was boiling with rage, he was deadly calm. “Just making sure we are on the same page, Reaper, and you aren’t falling in love with another Harrison.”
No one could replace Abby. Not her twin. Not anyone. The love I felt for that woman was undying and beyond words. I would go to hell and back to make sure she was back where she belonged, with me. In the meantime, I was going to make sure everyone else she loved was safe. That included her father and her sister and her son.
If he was trying to piss me off, he had succeeded. “You might have competition here for Kim. But it isn’t from me. And remember where you are in the food chain, Trigger. You aren’t the golden boy anymore. And I’m not scared of reminding you of that.”
“Yeah, you and your temper, Reaper. You’re notorious for it.” Trigger turned on the TV. “But you aren’t the only one protective of Kim.” He looked me in the eye. “Just making sure you are protecting because she’s family and not because you are falling in love with her.”
“I’ve only ever loved one woman. And I’m planning on loving her for the rest of my life. If you were a real man, Trigger, you would stop flirting around and nail Kim down before someone else does.” I kneeled and pulled Tyson from his stroller. Men were starting to surface now, grumpy and hungry. “I have to go. Tell Kim to call me if she needs me.” I handed Tyson to Trigger. “Take care of my son.”
