Tanya certainly wasn’t!
Tanya let it be known in no uncertain terms that this should have been picked up sooner, that the team was already scrubbed and about to start the list, but Eden wasn’t in the mood for unnecessary dramas—it wasn’t as if Tanya was going to be operating!
Holding the phone away from her ear, Eden gave an exaggerated eye roll as Tanya continued to moan.
‘Look,’ Eden said finally, ‘I’m sorry it wasn’t picked up earlier, but if you’d written up the prescription when Professor Baines gave his order, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Now, are you going to come and write it up?’
‘Presumably that’s a yes,’ Eden said dryly as the phone clicked off. Suddenly remembering Donna was present, Eden coloured up a touch, wondering if she’d sounded rude. ‘She wasn’t exactly helpful,’ Eden said. ‘She was blaming the ward…’
‘When the mistake was hers,’ Donna said through pursed lips. ‘Good for you for standing up to her. And don’t take any cheek when she comes up or I’ll be having a word.’
If Tanya had been irritated before, when she flounced onto the ward a few moments later and put a name to the face that had been on the phone, she was seriously put out! Her usually pretty, elfin face scowled as she leant over the desk and scribbled on the prescription chart.
‘This should have been picked up sooner,’ she muttered, but Eden refused to rise to the bait, concentrating on paperwork of her own. ‘Perhaps if the nurses on this ward weren’t out till all hours…’
Eden shot her an appalled look, scarcely able to believe that Tanya could be so personal, so petty, but before she could think of a suitable retort Donna came up with one for her.
‘I think that’s quite enough, don’t you, Doctor?’ Donna’s voice was pure ice. ‘As Sister Hadley has pointed out, this was your mistake and just because the professor is giving you a hard time about having to leave Theatre, I’d suggest you learn from your mistake and move on.’ She took a deep breath, positively withering Tanya with her eyes as the young intern flushed. ‘And if you’re referring to the fact that the consultant of this ward and one of my senior nurses were over at Kelly’s last night, discussing a patient on this ward then, frankly, Doctor, my advice remains the same. Get over it and move on.’
‘Ouch,’ Eden winced as Tanya strode out of the ward. She turned shyly to Donna. ‘Nick’s obviously spoken to you.’
‘He has.’ Donna nodded. ‘Let’s get this gentamycin started and then we’ll go into my office.’
Unlike Nick’s office, Donna’s was incredibly neat. Taking a seat behind her desk, she gestured for Eden to sit down, which Eden did, her heart hammering in her chest, her hands fidgeting in her lap. She wondered what on earth Donna was going to say—but it was actually Eden who spoke first.
‘Thank you—for what you said to Tanya, I mean.’
‘You’re a member of my team, Sister,’ Donna said, and Eden took a deep breath, knowing they were moving on now to the real reason they were there. ‘I was actually already intending to have a talk with you about Ben before Nick spoke to me about it. I’d noticed how fond you were getting of him, how you always ask to look after him and that you often stay behind after your shift has ended.’
‘I’ve never compromised his care.’
‘Of course you haven’t. Sister. You don’t think that you’re in trouble, do you?’
‘I don’t know,’ Eden admitted. ‘I feel as if I’ve done something wrong.’
‘Eden.’ Donna dropped her title. ‘Behind that uniform you’re a human being. That’s why nurses will never be replaced by robots or machinery—it takes real people to do our job, and real people have real emotions. If Ben had a loving parent or even one relative who cared for him or came in and visited him, I know that you wouldn’t be feeling this way—Ben would be one of your favourites, a patient you had a soft spot for, one that moved you more than most perhaps. But Ben doesn’t have anyone. There’s a huge gaping hole in this little boy’s life and I can see how you might want to fill it.’
Of all the people she’d expected to understand, Donna had been the last, and Eden felt a sting of tears in her eyes as her senior spoke with more insight and compassion than Eden could have ever predicted.
‘You know that my husband’s paraplegic?’ Donna asked, and Eden nodded. ‘Do you know where I met him? I was nursing on a spinal unit,’ Donna said, not waiting for Eden to answer. ‘I was twenty-six years old and had worked on the unit for five years, since I’d qualified, and I loved every minute of it. We had the patients from the first day of their injury when they were transferred to us right through to when they moved to a small apartment while we prepared them for going home. I looked after David the whole way through and somewhere along the way we fell in love.
‘But that was twenty-five years ago. Not only did we have to deal with the scorn of my nursing colleagues, but my parents were appalled too—they said that David was using me, that if he hadn’t had his accident he’d never have even looked at me…’ She smiled at Eden’s appalled face. ‘The reason I’m telling you this is that in those days there was no support—no one to talk to. I had to leave a job I loved as if I’d committed some sort of crime. Thankfully nursing’s moved on a lot since then.
‘Now!’ Rather more crisply, Donna continued. ‘I’ve discussed this with Nick and we’re both more than happy for you to look after Ben, with a couple of provisos.’
‘Which are?’
‘Firstly, and most importantly, if Ben collapses or his condition rapidly deteriorates, you’re to summon help, make your patient safe and, so long as numbers allow, you’re to step aside. I don’t think it would be in either of your best interests to be involved in decision-making in an emergency situation.’
Eden nodded thoughtfully, actually relieved that that decision had been made for her.
‘I’d like you to talk to me, weekly at least, so we can be sure how you’re dealing with everything. If you don’t feel you can discuss things with me, I can arrange—’
‘That won’t be necessary,’ Eden interrupted. ‘You’ve been really helpful.’
Donna gave a small nod. ‘And finally, given that the paperwork has already been done with Social Services, I’m more than happy, so long as Ben’s health permits, for you to take him out for short intervals—with the necessary precautions, of course—though not while you’re on duty. If you take Ben off the ward it has to be as his carer, and therefore you’ll need the doctor who’s on call that day to come and assess Ben and approve him leaving.’
A sharp, familiar rap on the door ended the conversation. As the door opened, Eden didn’t need to look up to know that it was Nick.
‘Donna, sorry to interrupt. I’ve just been speaking to a GP who wants to send a direct admission to the ward—a four-year-old who’s just come back from overseas with query malaria. Can I use the last ISO room?’
‘It’s already taken.’ Donna stood up. ‘We’re getting an admission from Emergency but ISO five is only in there because the parents demanded a single room.’
‘I really do need it.’
‘Then I’ll tell the parents their child will have to move onto the main ward,’ Donna said crisply. ‘I warned them at the time this might happen.’
‘How was it?’ Nick asked as Donna bustled off. Instead of rolling her eyes, as was usually the case when Donna left the room, Eden found herself smiling.
‘Good.’ Eden blinked. ‘Better than good. She was great. I can even take Ben out for short periods—if he’s well enough, of course.’
And even though Nick smiled, somehow it didn’t quite reach his eyes. His green eyes held hers for just a fraction too long, and she registered the tiny swallow in his throat.
‘What is it, Nick?’
When he didn’t answer straight away, Eden answered for him.
‘His bloodwork’s back, isn’t it?’
Nick gave a hesitant nod, ‘This isn’t easy, Eden.’
‘I
know,’ Eden whispered, because she did. In this very office, just a year ago, it had been Eden breaking bad news to Nick. Even though the circumstances were entirely different she knew how hard it was for him to be standing here now and hurting a friend because, just a year ago, she’d done it to him. Clearing her throat, Eden willed her voice to hold. ‘What do his results show?’
‘They’re not all back yet and we’ll need to do a lot more tests, but things aren’t looking good for him. I’ve just been discussing his case with the infectious diseases consultant. As you know, Eden, it doesn’t suddenly happen. AIDS is just what its name says: a syndrome. But unfortunately Ben is starting to display some of the more obvious signs.’ He paused for a moment, allowed her to process the news before he gently continued. ‘There are stages to this disease, Eden, and it looks as if Ben’s HIV status has shifted.’
‘He’s going to die?’
‘One day.’ Nick nodded. ‘And sooner than he deserves to, that’s for sure. But with aggressive medication, with the right environment…’
‘He’s behind the eight ball already, then,’ Eden rasped, choking back angry tears as Donna breezed back into the office.
‘All sorted!’ she said crisply. ‘Eden, the orderly’s here to take young Rory to Theatre.’ Donna’s sharp, knowing eyes swivelled between Eden and Nick. ‘Is everything all right?’
‘I was just discussing Ben’s results with Eden,’ Nick answered.
‘I see.’ Donna paused for a second before addressing Eden. ‘Will you be OK to work, Eden?’
Eden nodded because, quite simply, she had to be. She couldn’t afford the luxury of crying. Donna had offered her support through all this, but if Eden was going to break down whenever the news was bad for Ben, clearly things would have to be revised.
There would be time for that later.
‘I’ll be fine,’ Eden said firmly, making her way out of the office and staring down the corridor she saw Ben through the massive glass windows of his ISO room. He raised a podgy little hand as he recognised her, his round face breaking into the widest of smiles as his beloved Den came into his view. Dragging in a deep breath, swallowing the tears that seemed to be choking her, somehow Eden managed to wave back, somehow she managed to give him a huge bright smile before heading back to her patients.
CHAPTER SIX
‘WHERE’S Dad?’
Pulling open her front door, Eden blinked into the darkness, shocked to see Nick standing there, appalled that he should see her looking like this and confused at his question.
‘Dad?’
‘Jim,’ Nick said, as if that should explain things, but when Eden just stared back at him, he explained further. ‘Does he usually put the bins out?’
‘Never.’
‘Or stand on the street till you’ve waved off your friends?’
‘Actually, yes…’Eden’s mouth dropped open as a rather unwelcome penny dropped. ‘Nick, you’ve got it all wrong. Jim and I are just housemates. He was just being…’ Her voice trailed off, tiny seeds of doubt that had been sown over the past few weeks starting to sprout. ‘Oh, that’s all I need,’ Eden murmured. ‘Do you really think he likes me?’
‘Take it from me.’ Nick smiled. ‘Where is he, then?’
‘Gone to get some pizza.’ Eden gave a tiny shrug. ‘Trying to cheer me up.’
‘Am I going to be asked in?’
‘Sorry.’ Pulling the door open wider, Eden stepped back. ‘Of course.’ She said it as if she meant it but really she’d have loved to slam the door in his face and dart upstairs for five minutes. Swollen red eyes weren’t her only problem tonight. A scruffy pair of denim shorts and a halter top without the necessary accessory of a strapless bra wasn’t exactly the look she was aiming for, at least not where Nick was concerned.
Stop it, Eden mentally scolded herself, padding along the floorboards in bare feet and showing Nick through to her unfortunately untidy lounge, reminding herself that Nick couldn’t give a damn what she looked like on that level, he’d made that perfectly clear. She knew exactly why he was there.
‘I assume you’ve come to check on me.’ Sitting down on the sofa, Eden tucked her legs under her. ‘To make sure that I’m coping with the news!’
‘And are you?’ Nick asked, ignoring her sarcasm. Bypassing the chair she’d assumed he’s sit in, he sat himself down on the sofa beside her and Eden could feel him taking in her swollen eyes and reddened nose.
‘Better now,’ Eden admitted. ‘I’ve had a good cry, thumped a few pillows. Jim’s been great. It was my turn to cook but, as I said, he’s insisted on going out and getting pizza. Do you want me to ring him,’ she offered, ‘and tell him to get some more? You’re very welcome to stay.’
Nick shook his head. ‘I’m actually on my way over to my parents’. I just wanted to see how you were doing.’
‘Well, I’m fine,’ Eden said in a rather falsely bright voice. ‘It was nice of you to think of me.’
‘I had an ulterior motive.’ Nick gave her the benefit of a rather devastating smile. ‘I was rather hoping you’d had a rethink about Christmas. You’ve no idea how much easier my life would be if I could tell them I was bringing a date.’
‘Nick!’ Eden wailed, wishing he’d just drop it. She had enough to weep about tonight without this as well!
‘Oh, well.’ Nick shrugged. ‘Nut roast for you, then!’
‘Looks that way,’ Eden sighed.
Nick stood up, and Eden did the same. Now he hadn’t got what he’d obviously wanted, the conversation was clearly over.
As he reached the front door Nick turned around. “Would it change your mind if—?’
‘Nothing will change my mind Nick.’
‘Hear me out, Eden. How would you feel if Ben came with us?’
‘Ben?’ Her mood shifted from irritated to angry. It had been an emotional enough day without Nick using Ben as some kind of pawn. ‘You’d use a three-year-old kid to get your way…’
‘Hey!’ Nick’s single word halted her. ‘I know you’re upset, Eden, I know this has cut pretty deep for you, but for your information, I’ve been looking after Ben since the moment he was delivered. I resuscitated that little boy when he was born. It was me who diagnosed his Down’s syndrome and it was me who opened an envelope one Monday morning and found out he was HIV positive. For three years I’ve been trying to save his life and today I’ve found out that it isn’t going to happen—and as hard as it might be for you to deal with this, you’re not the only one this news has affected.’
His outburst had her reeling, her own self-absorption shaming her now. He’d had to shout it for her to see it.
In his own way, Nick loved Ben—they all did.
‘I’m so sorry.’ Tears were close but she held them back, the sympathy card not one she wanted to play here.
‘What you said the other day, when he was first admitted, about how you wished he could have just one Christmas, one day of being the centre of everyone’s world…’ Nick’s eyes met Eden’s, holding her gaze with possibility. ‘We could give him that, Eden. Not a whole day perhaps, but for a couple of hours at least we could give Ben the Christmas he deserves. My parents were saying when I went over how much they’re going to miss having the kids there at lunchtime, given Lily’s divorce and everything. It would be so nice to have Ben with us, so nice to spoil him.’
‘You’d really do that?’
‘Of course,’ Nick said, as if he was surprised she’d even had to ask. ‘You can go home after your shift and grab a few hours’ sleep, and once I’ve finished dishing out the presents at the hospital, I’ll pick up Ben and come and get you.’
‘Are you Santa this year?’
‘I am.’ Nick grinned. ‘And I make a very fine one, too, even if I do say so myself. So what do you say?’
‘And your parents will be OK, with his HIV status and everything?’
‘They won’t turn a hair.’
‘There won’t be any other kids there?’ Eden check
ed. ‘He shouldn’t come into contact with any—’
‘Hey.’ Nick halted her again, only more gently this time. ‘I’m a paediatric consultant, Eden.’ He smiled at her embarrassed blush. ‘So, can I tell my parents you’re coming?’
‘Yes.’ Eden nodded, her first genuine smile of the day breaking out on her full mouth. ‘Yes, please.’
Despite decorating the tree at work, despite the mountain of empty boxes she’d wrapped and placed around it, Christmas hadn’t really seemed to be happening for Eden, but waking up the next morning, hearing a Christmas jingle on her alarm radio, the date caught up with her all of a sudden—seven days to Christmas and she hadn’t done a thing.
Not a single thing!
‘Oh, hell!’
Peeling back her sheet, Eden jumped out of bed and hit the floor running. She greeted a bleary-eyed Jim in the kitchen and gratefully accepted the coffee he poured.
‘Who are you ringing?’
‘The bank,’ Eden groaned. She pulled her credit card out of her purse and keyed in the digits, hitting the hash key and keeping her fingers crossed as she listened for her available balance. ‘If I post my prezzies today, do you think they stand a chance of getting there?’
Of course, first she had to buy them!
Her parents were easy to buy for, or at least predictable—for her father a CD of marching pipers which, Eden realised as she handed over her card for the first of many times that morning, at least she wouldn’t have to hear this year, and for Mum a twelve-month supply of some impossibly expensive facial treatment that promised everything but coffee in bed in the morning!
On, ever on, until every last present for her family was wrapped and stuffed into a postpak and Eden queued up at the post office with the bulging box and a half-used roll of sticky tape that she still had to pay for, trying to fathom what on earth she should get for Ben and for Nick’s family, given that they were having her for Christmas dinner. And, of course, for Nick himself! Over and over Eden had to quell her mounting excitement, over and over she had to replay Nick’s rather harsh words to her. He’d told her there was nothing between them, had told her to her face that this was merely an exercise to get his parents off his back, but as she watched the shop assistant wrapping his present, she went the whole hog and added an extra two dollars to the bill to add a bow. Eden allowed herself the tiny indulgence of a daydream, imagined for a moment that this was how Christmas would always be.
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