by Nicola Haken
“G’night, guys,” I said, heading towards my room. This conversation didn’t involve me. I was here to protect the guys, not party with them. Sawyer nodded, and I could tell by the position of his mouth that he was biting the inside of his lip. As I unlocked my door and stepped inside, the only thing on my mind was that I would be tasting that lip very soon.
I was still alone in my room at 2AM. I’d expected Sawyer to join me almost immediately, yet three hours had passed and there was still no sign of him. I’d showered, shaved, ordered up a bottle of chilled red wine – which was now almost empty – and stared at the TV, unable to concentrate on whatever was showing.
Giving up and sighing heavily, I knocked back the last mouthful of wine in my glass, set it down on the glass coffee table and decided to turn in for the night. My foot was hovering over the plush white bedroom carpet when it came – a knock on my door. Walking over to it, I purposely loosened the knot in my robe a little. I was certain I would find Sawyer on the side - no one else would stop by during the middle of the night.
“You came?” I stepped aside, holding the door open as he walked into my room. His shoulders were hunched and his head down as he took one last glance into the corridor before I closed the door.
“You doubted I would?”
“Maybe,” I shrugged slightly. “I thought I’d scared you off by telling you I want you to fuck me.”
The short distance between us made my chest ache, so I closed it – making small steps closer to him and fixing my hands to his hips. I briefly closed my eyes, inhaling his unique scent mingled with stale whiskey and body wash.
“You did scare me. But that’s not why I’m so late. The guys have noticed a change in me apparently. I can’t afford them to start poking their noses into my business so I went back to Matt’s room for a few drinks. I need to make the effort. I can’t seem to muster an interest to spend any time with anyone but you, and… they’re starting to notice.”
“So you want to spend time with me, huh?” I asked with a devilish smile, ignoring his comment about me scaring him. By the end of the night, he wouldn’t feel any fear – only pure desperation to come deep inside me.
“So much,” he whispered, cupping my face in his strong hands. His calloused thumbs, rough from years spent playing the guitar, smoothed along my freshly-shaved face, making me moan. “I’ve never wanted to be with anyone as much as I want to be with you,” he admitted, making my heart dance to a hundred different melodies.
Sawyer instigated the following kiss. Dropping his hands to my waist, he undid the loose knot on my robe and slid his hands inside, grabbing my bare arse cheeks with his hands. Then his tongue darted out, tracing the edges of my lips before delving fully into my mouth. I pressed my erection up against him as I pulled him in by the hips. Breaking the kiss, he looked down at the throbbing head, nestled between us and peeking up at him, and he grinned.
“I can’t wait to taste you again,” he murmured, giving my arse one last squeeze before completely abandoning me and walking towards the bedroom
Holy fucking hell… Where were his nerves? His doubts? You know what, I didn’t care. Sawyer Knight was making his way to my bed, tugging his ripped jeans down and exposing the top of his glorious arse along the way. Fuck, the thought of burying myself between those firm cheeks almost set my body on fire.
Discarding his clothes to the floor as he walked, Sawyer wasted no time in lying down on my bed, propping himself up on one elbow. Biting my lip in anticipation, I followed his lead - undressing quickly and throwing my robe behind me, dismissing my usual routine of folding it over a chair.
I climbed in next to him, on top of the bed sheets, and laid a flattened palm on his perfectly sculpted abs. Fuck, he’s so beautiful. He always has been. My hand wandered down over his firm muscles until my fingers reached the patch of hair surrounding his cock. I drew tiny spheres on his pubic bone with the tip of my finger, making his cock twitch. Unable to wait a second longer, I wrapped my fingers around his erection, hugging it tight before stroking him up and down. Sawyer let out a throaty groan, tossing his head back and encouraging me to move faster.
Still gripping his cock, I shifted myself closer to him and buried my face in his neck. I licked and kissed my way up along his strong, stubbled jaw and settled on his lips. He parted them willingly and I dipped my tongue inside, kissing him passionately and moaning into his mouth.
“I need you to touch me, Sawyer,” I gasped. I was so hard I could’ve bent steel and if my balls throbbed any harder I was sure they would explode. “And then I need you to fuck me.”
“A-are you sure?” he stuttered nervously.
“God yes. I’ve wanted nothing else for so damn long,” I assured him, loosening my grip on his cock and rolling onto my back. Drawing his lip into his mouth, he rolled with me, cupping my face in his hands and swiping his tongue across my lips.
“Can I go down on you first?”
“Hell, Sawyer… the answer to that question will always be yes.”
After the briefest of kisses, Sawyer nibbled and sucked his way down my body. I smoothed my hands across his broad shoulders, up his neck and then twisted his hair between my fingers, anchoring him to me. After shimmying down the bed, he hovered his mouth over my balls, looking up at me with that nervous, yet fucking stunning glint in his eyes. I gasped when I saw the tip of his tongue slide out of his mouth and he hadn’t even touched me yet.
“Jesus…” I whispered hoarsely when he started licking small circles on my sac. I felt it all the way through my body, causing me to writhe on the mattress, desperate for more.
Lifting my head slightly, I watched him take me into his mouth. I couldn’t take my eyes off him as I encouraged his head up and down with my hand wound into his thick, dark hair. It was an image I’d imagined countless times in my life, one I’d now actually seen a couple of times, and one I would never get tired of watching.
Unlike Sawyer, I’m not cut, and when he rolled down my foreskin and dotted slow, tender licks around the sensitive head, I almost exploded there and then in his mouth. Releasing my dick with a loud pop as if he sensed how close I was, I stared curiously as Sawyer licked his finger. When the said finger started travelling south I knew exactly what he was going to do and I couldn’t fucking wait.
“Oh fuck…” I panted, bucking my hips as he pushed one finger slowly inside me. “Yes… fuck yes…”
“Does that feel good?” Sawyer asked. His voice was curious, like he was asking a genuine question.
“You have no idea.”
With that, he inserted a second finger and I swear my eyes rolled into the back of my head. He scissored his slick fingers slightly, stretching me and making me want to scream from the pleasure. Then he crooked one finger, hitting my prostate gland… and it was too much.
“I’m ready, baby. I need you to fuck me now.”
Slowly, Sawyer’s fingers withdrew from my body. I missed the closeness already, so I sat up and started working his cock with my hand while I kissed him.
“Um… you should turn over,” he mumbled apprehensively into my mouth.
“No,” I said. “I want to be able to watch you. I need to look into your eyes as you fill me.” A faint look of hesitation swept over his face, causing his eyebrows to knit together. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Well… it’s just… I’ve never, um… done it that way before.”
“You mean fucked up the arse or face to face?” I asked, putting it bluntly and finding the blush in his cheeks adorable.
“Both.”
“You mean… you’ve always done it from behind?”
Seriously?
“I don’t like having to look them in the eye. Makes it too personal I guess.” He shrugged and looked away from me. I felt his dick begin to soften in my hand and I sure as hell refused to let that happen.
The Sawyer Knight kneeling naked and glorious in front of me wasn’t the confident, notorious and gifted man the rest of the
world thought they knew. The man I was looking at, the man whose cock I was holding, the man who I have loved since I was fourteen years old, was fragile and innocent. He was afraid of rejection and that made him ashamed of who he really was.
I vowed in that very moment to change that. I will show him that love is love, no matter what gender they may be, and I will prove to him that he deserves to love and be loved.
“Baby look at me,” I demanded, stroking his dick, bringing it back to life while I turned his face to mine with my free hand. “I’m not ‘them’, and you will look at me. I’m different, Sawyer. We’re different. This isn’t just about what you’re feeling here,” I said, gently squeezing his cock. “It’s also about what’s going on in here.” I laid my palm over his heart. I could feel it throbbing in rhythm with my own and I knew he could feel it too.
“Okay,” he breathed, his eyes locking onto mine. I brought him in for another kiss. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I caressed his back, smoothing my palms up and down and moaning into his mouth at just how good his skin felt against mine. When I broke away, I leaned across to the bedside table and plucked out a condom and some lube. Sawyer’s eyes widened just a little, so I kissed him again while hugging him hard.
“I’ve got you, baby,” I assured him. “Take it as slow as you need. Just enjoy it.”
Dropping the condom and lube onto the mattress beside me, I laid down on my back with my legs apart. Never taking his melted caramel eyes off mine, Sawyer tore open the condom and rolled it down himself. He stroked his handiwork up and down a few times before smothering his impressive erection in lube, and I couldn’t do anything but stare at him. He fascinated me. Everything about him.
I love him.
Sawyer nestled himself between my legs and I lifted them, supporting the weight with my hands behind my knees. His thick cock nudged at my hole while he rubbed his hands over my flat stomach. I was ready for him. It felt like I’d been ready for him forever.
“You’re sure?” he asked.
“Just do it, baby. Fill me.” Closing his eyes, Sawyer finally did what I’d been waiting a lifetime for. He pushed in slowly, stilling completely when he was met with the ring of resistance. “Keep going,” I encouraged.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t, I promise.” Opening his eyes and staring down at what he was doing, he drove all the way, making me gasp. “Oh, God yes.”
He didn’t move for a few seconds, as if he instinctively knew my body needed time to adjust to him. My dick started to weep pre-cum when he started doing slow, shallow thrusts. I don’t think I’d ever been so goddamn hard in my life and at this rate I was going to come without even touching myself.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he ground out, gritting his teeth. Hearing him as well as feeling him did insane things to my body and I could already feel the beginnings of an orgasm starting to tingle in my spine. He continued with torturously unhurried thrusts, making me moan in a mixture of pleasure and frustration.
“I need you deeper, baby. Faster. I won’t break.”
Sucking his bottom lip between his teeth to stifle his groans, Sawyer tucked his hands under my arse, dragging me closer to him and raising my hips. I hooked my legs over his shoulders and he tipped his head back, dragged in a deep breath and started pounding into me so hard my head bounced repeatedly off the headboard. Reaching down, I curled my fingers around my cock, not allowing myself to stroke because I knew I would come with just the slightest friction.
“Open your eyes, Sawyer.” It took a few seconds but eventually he did. His eyes pierced mine and I could see the doubt swimming behind them as he drew his eyebrows together. “Stay with me, baby. Look at me. We’re in this together.”
“I… I’m gonna come, Jake,” he stuttered, giving me all the ammunition I needed. I tightened the grip I had around my cock and started tugging. Sawyer’s speed increased and he slammed into me hard and deep, his balls slapping against my arse with every thrust. My free hand reached out and I ran the pads of my fingers down the front of his taut body, massaging the mist of sweat dusting his skin into the deep grooves surrounding his inked muscles. “Oh fuck… I’m-I’m…”
“That’s it, baby,” I encouraged, my voice rough and eager as I continued to tug myself off. “Fuck yes! I’m coming, Sawyer. I’m gonna come so fucking hard.” On the note of my last word, my orgasm began. Pleasure radiated from the base of my spine, spreading through my hips and down into my balls, drawing them up into my body as spurts of creamy white spunk shot out all over my stomach.
“Oh…my…fuck!” Sawyer rasped, digging his fingers into my arse cheeks as he crashed into me one last time.
His body juddered above me as his breath came in short, fast pants. He was fucking stunning. Angling his head down, his damp fringe concealed one of his eyes and instinctively I reached up with my fingers and brushed it aside. His cheeks were flushed, the skin on his body glistening. My waning erection started stirring again at the sight of him still inside me. The real thing was so much better than any one of the thousand dreams I’d had about this moment.
It was, and he was, perfect.
“That was… amazing,” I breathed, still a little breathless. “You were amazing.”
“It was? I mean… I did ok?”
His nerves about pleasing me made me smile. Sure, he’d had sex before. Hell, if the papers were to be believed he’d bedded more women than he’d had hot meals. But this was a first for him in so many ways and it felt amazing to know he’d chosen me to take those first steps with.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Sawyer, that was the single most amazing moment of my life. Did you not feel it too?”
“Yeah,” he agreed, sighing. “Yeah I did.”
Smiling proudly, I ran my fingers down his arm.
“Come on. Let’s get cleaned up. Then we can talk.”
“Talk? About what?”
“Anything. Everything. I don’t just want you for sex, Sawyer. I want you for who you are, and there’s so much I’ve missed while I was away. It’s time to start getting to know each other again.”
Pinching the condom around the base of his softening cock, Sawyer eased out of me, immediately leaving me feeling like a piece of me was missing. He crawled off the bed and went to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and came back with a damp towel. His hand hovered over my stomach for a moment, as if wondering whether he should clean me up. Laughing softly, I took the towel from him and proceeded to wipe myself clean. Then, after tossing it onto the floor, I patted the mattress next to me for him to join me.
I didn’t want the night to end.
Chapter Nine
“How do you feel?” Jake asked, rubbing his hand up and down my arm.
Hmm. How did I feel?
“Strange.”
“Um, okaaaay. Good strange or bad strange?”
“Good. I think. It’s difficult to explain.”
“Try,” he coaxed gently, curiosity lacing his smooth voice. His hand reached the top of my arm again but instead of going back down he stretched up and ran his fingers through my hair. I unconsciously nuzzled into his touch, like a cat rubbing against a leg. It didn’t make sense to me how natural it felt to be with him this way. Naked, cuddling… touching.
“I feel…ugh how do I put this? It’s like, ever since you left I’ve been surrounded by people. Friends, women, the guys, then fans, management, press… yet I’ve never felt so fucking alone. Now…” I trailed off, sucking in a shaky breath. “Now I don’t feel lonely anymore.”
“God, Sawyer, I’ve felt exactly the same for all these years.”
I smiled lovingly at him. It was the type of smile that came naturally, the kind that take no effort, the type that make your heart swell in your chest.
“What about the sex?” he added with a devilish grin. “How did that make you feel?”
“Amazing,” I sighed, my dick tingling at the memory. “I didn’t know it would feel that good.
But… does it feel good to, you know, be on the other end?”
“Are you asking me if it feels good to bottom?” he asked with a faint smirk.
“Yeah,” I shrugged.
“Yes, it does,” he answered without hesitation. “Takes a bit of getting used to, but I promise you when I get to fuck that tight arse of yours you’ll never want me to come out.”
My breath caught in my throat. The idea of being taken that way kind of terrified me, but at the same time my dick throbbed at the thought. Was it so appealing because it was a man suggesting he would do those things to me, or because it was Jake? My best friend. My…
Well, I’m not too sure what he is yet.
“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll take care of you,” he added, snapping me back to the present. “You went a little white there for a second,” he teased, stroking down the side of my face. I smiled, I think. I was still a little too paranoid about the nerves I was putting out to be sure. “What happened here?”
Using the tip of his forefinger, Jake traced the length of the scar above my left eyebrow. It’s barely noticeable these days, unless you’re as close up as Jake was.
“Jerry happened.” Damn, I was hoping I’d never have to have this conversation again.
“Your stepdad?”
“Yeah.”
Please don’t ask me to elaborate.
“What the hell happened?”
“We got in a fight, that’s all.”
“About what?”
“Dammit, Jake, does it matter?”
“Whoa…I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Slowly stroking his way down from my face, along my neck and down to my chest, he laid gentle kisses along my shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” I said, guilt making my voice gruff. “You didn’t upset me. It’s just… it wasn’t a good time for me back then.”
“Talk to me, Sawyer. I want to get to know you again. All of you.”
