Lyla: Through My Eyes

by Fleur Beale

  I curled up again on the sofa next to Lolly. ‘That shrink – he looks like he’s escaped from the bush, but he’s okay. I don’t even mind going back for another session.’

  Which was just as well because Nana Lilith had twisted his arm to book me a few more appointments.

  He was pretty keen on the safe place thing too. Yeah, I should have worked that out. He’d told me to read all about it, after all.

  It turned out that Lolly was my safe place. I just had to keep the image in my head of her being a warm weight against my back in the night, of how she liked to cuddle up to me on the sofa and how she went berserk with glee if I said walk.

  Dr James Moran gave me two good girls and told me to practise going back to those happy, safe feelings until they were good and solid in my head. ‘Whenever there’s a trigger, like another quake or hearing a train or a plane, get your mind to take you to Lolly and the feelings around her. And don’t beat yourself up if you’re not always a hundred per cent successful. You’ll get better with practice.’

  He made me practise deep breathing too. Breathe in, hold for three seconds, breathe out slowly. He reckoned that would haul my amygdala back by its toenails whenever it decided to take off into the stratosphere.

  I knew I’d get plenty of chances to practise when I went back to Christchurch – the aftershocks were still frequent and some of them were severe. Joanne moaned about them every time she messaged me. I passed the news on to Katie and Shona, but one of Katie’s answers surprised me. Nelson’s cool. Fab beaches. But I’d rather be in Christchurch. My city is changing and I’m not there to see what’s happening.

  They wanted to know how I was doing. I’m getting counselling!! Seems to be helping.

  I got the surprise of my life – Matt messaged. Sent u awesome book.

  Me: You’ve read an actual book???

  Matt: Yep. X2

  Me: It’s about rugby, right?

  Matt: Yes and no. Read it.

  It arrived three days later. I held the parcel for a few seconds before I even attempted opening it. I so didn’t want to read a rugby book. Nana handed me a pair of scissors. A note written in Matt’s scrawl fell out. JK best winger ever. Read it.

  What? The book was All Blacks Don’t Cry, by John Kirwan.

  I gaped at it and just shook my head. Matt had to have lost a marble or two. Grandy picked it up. ‘I’ve been wanting to read this. Great bloke, JK. He’s done a good thing in talking about depression.’

  The light went on in my head, along with a big fat question: was Matt finding life not so sweet too?

  I read the book. Then I read it again.

  Me: Thanx.

  Matt: When you back? Da gang going to gap-fill where my house used to be.

  Me: Dunno. When you starting?

  Matt: Waiting for u. That bossy little Imelda. And leo henry millie jess etc etc

  Me: (typing with grin on face) Soon. Be back soon.

  We looked after Lolly for a week and a bit. When her ma and pa got home she was all over them. I felt betrayed and abandoned until she ran to sit beside me where I was curled up in a chair. There wasn’t really room for me and a Doberman, but she made it work by taking over the whole of my lap.

  ‘Come back and visit anytime,’ they said, but I knew we wouldn’t. The Sunshine Coast was quite a way from Lolly’s house.

  I stayed with my grandparents in their eighth-floor apartment for another week. I got lots of practise at amygdala hijack control every time I got in the lift or a truck went past when we were in town. Mostly it worked.

  My friends asked what I was up to. Shopping? Swimming? Theme parks?

  Nah. Am facing down the demons, doing deep breathing and pretending I’ve got a Doberman.

  Joanne and Freya wrote news about school and messages flew around about gap-filling where Matt’s house used to be. Henry wanted a swimming pool. Leo wanted a basketball hoop. Imelda wanted a family of gnomes. Millie: Yes to gnomes. Maybe to hoop. Ha ha to pool. Matt wants orange flowers. Says they’ll keep his mother away. Go figure!!

  There were things to look forward to. It was time to go back.

  Author’s note

  I was born in Inglewood, Taranaki, but my mother was born in Christchurch and grew up there. I attended Christchurch Teachers’ College in 1968 and there were earthquakes during that year. The worst one was the magnitude 7.1 Īnangahua quake that struck on the opposite side of the island, the West Coast, just before five-thirty in the morning. It woke me and my flatmates and I remember it was frightening. I just froze and hoped the house would stop shaking. We never felt entirely safe with the brick chimney that rose up through the middle of our flat after that. But Christchurch was fortunate as there was very little damage, unlike in the communities on the West Coast where the quake was centred.

  On 4 September 2010 a devastating earthquake hit Christchurch at 4:35 a.m. I live in Wellington and I’d woken just after that time and turned on the radio. I found it hard to take in what I was hearing. A magnitude 7.1 quake had hit Christchurch? Christchurch? Wellington was the city with the shaky reputation. I listened in growing horror as people rang in with questions. Was it okay to light candles? No, because there could be leaking gas. The callers told awful stories of going outside to check on neighbours – but falling waist deep into a hole filled with liquefaction.

  Because the quake had hit during the night when people were at home in bed, nobody was directly killed, even though the damage was severe and would take months or years to repair. The entire country was relieved that people were safe and we did what we could to help. We learnt new words too – liquefaction was the top of the list. ‘Munted’ became the word of the moment to describe the broken city.

  Repairs were well underway when the next big quake hit the region at 12.51p.m. on the afternoon of 22 February 2011. Although this quake wasn’t as powerful as the September one, it caused more damage because it was shallower, just 5 kilometres below the surface whereas the September quake was at a depth of 11 kilometres. The ground acceleration (shaking) in February was more severe. This time, people were killed. It was a terrible time for Christchurch and the entire country.

  I was in Christchurch later that year to do some school visits. Nothing was familiar. The Christchurch Cathedral was no longer a landmark. A local friend drove me around and needed to use a GPS because all the street names had fallen down, plus so many roads were closed because they were damaged or being repaired that it was easy to lose our way. She showed me the white chair memorial – 185 chairs all painted white to commemorate the 185 lives lost.

  We saw the temporary new cathedral, dubbed the ‘Cardboard Cathedral’ because 98 heavy-duty cardboard tubes were used in its construction. We got out of the car to walk up to the cordoned-off ‘Red Zone’ and look through the wire barricade at the remains of the original cathedral. My friend stood there, tears falling. This was her city, her ruined city. She said she was looking at its devastated heart.

  I gave a writing workshop to Avonside Girls’ High School (AGHS) students during that visit. My mother had been a student – and head girl – at Avonside Girls’ High School so I wanted the fictional character of Lyla to also go to that school. The students were still site-sharing with Burnside High School on the other side of the city from their own damaged school and because it was winter, the girls didn’t get home until after dark. My abiding memory of all the students I met was their determination to keep going. The teachers were so concerned for their students, so focused on keeping things as normal as possible, even though many of the teachers, like their students, were living in homes that let in the rain and cold. Many homes had been completely destroyed and some people were having to make multiple moves as emergency and temporary housing became available.

  There was so much disruption, so much destruction. One morning we drove past rows of suburban shops with their top-floor front walls missing so that all the world could see inside. In the afternoon when we drove back, there was only emp
ty land. The whole site had been cleared.

  Six years on, Christchurch is still in recovery. People are still trying to sort out insurance claims and are still trying to get their damaged houses properly repaired. The cathedral is still sad and broken, roads are still being mended. But the city is full of street art – huge paintings on walls. Greenery and flowers pop up in empty spaces. There’s a feeling of hope and there’s energy in the air.

  Timeline

  2010 4 September 04:35 NZST (New Zealand Standard Time) A magnitude 7.1 earthquake strikes New Zealand’s South Island. The epicentre is 37 km west of Christchurch near Darfield. Central Canterbury, especially Christchurch, incurs structural damage but there are no fatalities. More than 351 aftershocks are recorded.

  In the days that follow, Sam Johnson starts a Facebook event called the ‘Student Base for Earthquake Clean Up’ to remove liquefaction from Christchurch. The Reserve Bank’s initial estimate of recovery and rebuild costs is NZ$5 billion.

  2011 22 February At 12:51 NZST a magnitude 6.3 aftershock lasting approximately 10 seconds strikes the Canterbury region. The epicentre is 2 km west of Lyttelton, just 10 km south-east of the Christchurch Central Business District (CBD). The shallow quake creates unprecedented ground shaking and is felt as far north as Tauranga and at Invercargill in the south.

  Within minutes of the quake about 300 million tonnes of ice falls from the Tasman Glacier, located 200 km from the epicentre.

  The National Crisis Management Centre is immediately activated to manage public response to the earthquake. The Mayor of Christchurch City declares a level 3 state of emergency. Hundreds of people are trapped in building rubble as hundreds more attempt to flee the devastation. Christchurch Hospital’s emergency department treats 231 patients within the first hour post-earthquake.

  A ‘Red Zone’ is quickly established in Christchurch CBD. Many buildings are cordoned off and widespread liquefaction begins to crack roads, swallow vehicles and rupture water and sewer pipes.

  The Canterbury Television Building (CTV) collapses and catches fire. The Pyne Gould Corporation Building (PGC) housing 200 workers also falls. The spire and upper tower section of the Christchurch Cathedral collapse.

  At 13:04 NZST a magnitude 5.8 aftershock hits Christchurch, followed by another aftershock measuring 5.9 at 14:50 NZST.

  Emergency shelters are set up in Hagley Park. Power and water supply is cut off to 80% of the city. The eastern suburbs and Avon River environs are the hardest hit, with Lyttelton and New Brighton deemed unliveable. Christchurch Airport is closed to all but emergency flights.

  Sam Johnson and over 2500 volunteers join with the University of Canterbury Students’ Association to create the University of Canterbury Student Volunteer Army.

  23 February Prime Minister John Key declares a national state of emergency as fatalities reach around 75. More than 1000 New Zealand Defence Force personnel lead the largest-ever rescue and recovery operation on home soil. Urban Search and Rescue and Disaster Victim Identification teams arrive from Australia, Japan, Singapore, the United Kingdom and the United States. The last survivor is pulled from the rubble.

  The Student Volunteer Army joins thousands of people in the removal of over 200 000 tonnes of liquefaction silt.

  A temporary mortuary is set up at Burnham Military Camp.

  25 February Death toll reaches 115 with 228 people missing and many thousands injured. Recovery operations continue with a focus on the CTV building and the Christchurch Cathedral site. Nine aftershocks measuring between 3.1 and 3.8 are recorded.

  Christchurch Airport reopens as hundreds of Cantabrians leave the city.

  Power is restored to 75% of the city but water and sewerage systems remain compromised.

  March The official earthquake toll is 185 with 115 people perishing in the CTV building, 18 in the PGC building, 36 in the central city, 12 in the suburbs and 4 associated deaths. 81 international students and staff from King’s Education died in the CTV building. More than 6000 people, including 220 major trauma cases, have been treated at Christchurch Hospital since the quake.

  Prime Minister John Key announces that an estimated 100 000 houses have liquefaction damage and 10 000 are to be demolished. 163 primary and secondary schools remain closed including Avonside Girls’ High School. 4879 Christchurch students enrol in other schools across New Zealand.

  18 March Tens of thousands of people, including the Duke of Cambridge, attend the National Christchurch Memorial Service at Hagley Park, where the names of the 185 victims are read out.

  13 June A magnitude 6.3 earthquake, part of a prolonged aftershock sequence, occurs inland south-east of Christchurch. It affects about 400 000 people, with 46 people injured and widespread gas leaks and soil liquefaction. More than 100 additional buildings are now beyond repair. Christchurch Cathedral suffers further damage as the rose window in the west wall collapses. Experts believe this aftershock will increase construction costs by approximately NZ$6 billion. The Christchurch population year-to-date has fallen by 2.4% as 10 000 people relocate.

  2012 Many schools reopen and Avonside Girls’ High School students return to the school’s original site.

  397 025 tonnes of silt has now been cleared from Christchurch City. More than 90% of properties in Greater Christchurch suffer some earthquake damage. The Reserve Bank’s revised repair and rebuilding estimate is NZ$20 billion. Canterbury Earthquake Recovery Authority suggests the rebuild plus improvements may well cost NZ$30 billion.

  2013 The government purchases the CTV and PGC sites and makes a commitment to consult with the bereaved families over development plans. Cordons are finally lifted from the entire city.

  2014 24 July Construction begins on a transitional cathedral in Christchurch.

  15 August A dedication service for the transitional ‘Cardboard Cathedral’ designed by Japanese architect Shigeru Ban is held in Christchurch.

  2015 February 1240 buildings in the four avenues of the Christchurch CBD have been demolished since the September 2010 earthquakes.

  2015 November Ground-breaking (sod turning) ceremony announces the commencement of construction work on the Canterbury Earthquake National Memorial.

  2017 21 February The Canterbury Earthquake National Memorial is unveiled to the bereaved families with a ceremony led by Ngāi Tahu representatives.

  22 February Thousands of people attend the public opening of the Canterbury Earthquake National Memorial on the sixth anniversary of New Zealand’s worst natural disaster since 1931.

  Glossary

  chuff bottom; behind; butt

  dairy small neighbourhood corner shop

  fanzone an area away from a sport venue (stadium) where people who don’t have tickets to a game can be part of a crowd watching the game on huge screens

  kapa haka the name for Māori performing arts, meaning to form a row (kapa) and dance (haka). Kapa haka is an emotional and powerful combination of singing, dancing, expression and movement

  kia kaha be strong

  korowai a Māori cloak made from traditional materials such as flax and feathers; a symbol of honour

  liquefaction occurs when shaking from an earthquake causes loose soils to lose strength and act as a liquid

  marae open area in front of a wharenui; the word ‘marae’ also has the meaning of generosity and sharing

  munted broken; wrecked; busted

  Rūaumoko god of earthquakes in Māori mythology

  scarper run away

  sprog baby or young child

  te waiora the healing waters

  tihei mauri ora let there be life

  verge grassy strip on side of road; nature strip

  wharenui meeting house

  Find out more about…

  Christchurch earthquakes of 2010–11

  https://www.britannica.com

  Search for ‘Christchurch earthquakes of 2010–2011

  (New Zealand)’

  22 February earthquake

  https://www.youtube
.com

  Search for ‘Christchurch Earthquake 2011’

  Search for ‘Christchurch Earthquake before and after’

  Search for ‘Liquefaction and Road Damage’

  https://www.christchurchdailyphoto.com

  Select ‘February 2011’ under ‘Archives’

  http://www.showusyourlongdrop.co.nz

  Urban Search and Rescue Teams

  https://earthquake-report.com

  Search for ‘rescue efforts continue to save lives’

  Sessions, Laura. Quake Dogs, Random House,

  New Zealand, 2013

  Student Volunteer Army

  www.sva.org.nz

  Cardboard Cathedral

  https://www.theurbandeveloper.com

  Search for ‘Cardboard Cathedral’

  National Dedication & Civic Commemoration Service 2017

  https://www.youtube.com

  Search for ‘Families attend Chch earthquake memorial unveiling’

  McKeever, Carol. The Butterfly and the Earthquake,

  First Edition Ltd., Wellington, New Zealand, 2011

  Acknowledgements

  So many people generously gave their time to tell me their experiences. I’m particularly grateful to staff and students of Avonside Girls’ High School: principal Sue Hume, librarian Kaylene Moore, English Department staff, and ex-students Jessamie Davidson and Aleisha Cotterill (who were both in their first year at AGHS in 2011). My heartfelt thanks to Linley Earnshaw, librarian at Christchurch Girls’ High School for her stories and for checking the finished manuscript to ensure that it truly reflected people’s experiences. I’m very grateful to Belynda Smith who generously shared her stories. Police officers took the time to give me a picture of what it was like in the aftermath of the quake. A member of the police communications staff was especially helpful as she was stationed in Christchurch for a week a few days after the February quake.