Confetti at the Cornish Café

by Phillipa Ashley

  OK. It doesn’t quite look as if the guys have ‘rocked up and constructed it out of a few twigs’ but it is natural and beautiful. It’s a stunning focal point for the glade, which is filled with soft spring colours and fresh scents. The log ‘altar’ is adorned with flowers and fairy lights. I’m sure Lily and Ben are going to love it. Cal is definitely going to be amazed when he turns up, if he turns up.

  Polly spots me and joins me at the rear of the glade where a row of chairs has been reserved for ‘staff’. Rachel is still with the bridal party and my dad’s double-checking the PA system is ready for the celebrant. Isla and Luke arrive and take their places near the front of the glade next to an actor I recognise from Game of Thrones, who met a very nasty end. Polly almost fainted when she spotted him because apparently he’d been in Downton a few times too.

  There’s a buzz of excited conversation and expectation. People clutch their pashminas or check their fascinators are pinned on. Most are wearing sunglasses. The folk band are playing some traditional Cornish love songs as the final guests find their seats. Dotted around the edge of the guests on each side are security guards wearing dark glasses. In the tepee and at Demelza’s, I picture Nina and the team waiting for the guests to swarm in, starving and thirsty after the ceremony, and Lily and Ben starting their first dance as a married couple – well, a handfasted couple.

  ‘I never thought this day would come after all the cock-ups, but we did it,’ Polly says to me. ‘I think we should give ourselves a pat on the back and a large G&T once this ceremony’s over.’ She pauses then clicks her tongue against her teeth. ‘Oh, he’s turned up, then, has he?’

  ‘Did you think Ben would chicken out?’ I whisper to Polly, secretly relieved because I thought the same myself.

  ‘I wouldn’t have bet my house on it, that’s for sure.’

  Polly raises her eyebrows as Ben and his best man, an actor friend, take their places in front of the willow arch. Jade scuttles around the side of the glade to bag her reserved seat in the front row next to Lily’s parents. Addison is already in place next to Isla and Luke. Harry is standing at the edge of the copse, cupping his hand in front of his mouth as if he’s talking to the other security guards.

  Above us a low buzz whirrs and we look up to see a small drone hovering above the glade.

  ‘I hate them drone things. Should be banned,’ Polly grumbles.

  ‘It’s taking pictures,’ I say. ‘Kilhallon will look good.’

  ‘I don’t care. They’re a damn nuisance.’

  Polly purses her lips but returns her attention to the celebrant, a lean, tall man in a corduroy jacket and jeans, whose charcoal hair is tied back in a ponytail. ‘I know him, the vicar. It’s that Neil Polgreen from the Reiki Healing Centre in St Trenyan, him that always smells of patchouli. I went to school with him. He took me to a folk concert in Par but I lost touch with him when we left. He’s worn well, I’ll say that for him, and he’s still got a good head of hair.’

  ‘I didn’t recognise his name and I’d no idea he was a humanist celebrant, but I know his place. I slept in his shop doorway once, but Mitch didn’t like the smell.’

  Polly clutches my arm excitedly. ‘Oh, here we go.’

  The music has stopped and the celebrant lifts his hand for quiet. Everyone gets to their feet and turns round to watch the bridal party: Lily and her bridesmaids, walking carefully down the slope from the cottages to the glade.

  ‘My God. Is that who I think it is?’

  ‘Yes. Amazing, isn’t it?’

  ‘I’d never have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. It’s scary.’ No names have been mentioned but we’ve both homed in on Mawgan, walking behind Lily, clutching her candy-coloured posy, a serene smile on her face.

  ‘Innocent as a new-born babe, I don’t think.’

  Polly lets out a snort, and someone glares at us. The bridal party draw nearer. I have a lump in my throat at the sight of Lily. Of all the people who might not turn up this afternoon, I’d have bet Kilhallon on it being Lily, but she’s obviously far more enthusiastic about marrying Ben than she seems. She’s smiling and looks happy enough.

  There are audible gasps as she reaches our line of deckchairs and enters the top of the ‘aisle’, murmurs of ‘wow’ and a few people sniffling into hankies.

  ‘Lily looks gorgeous. She’s not a real human. No wonder she’s a star,’ I whisper as Lily wafts past, her dress rustling in the breeze.

  ‘Yes, she’s a very beautiful girl. Still can’t think for the life of me what she’s marrying him for, but each to their own.’

  Mawgan spots us and smirks. I nod politely and smile, even though it hurts me. She looks around as if she’s trying to spot Cal but has to concentrate on not tripping over her dress. Far be it for me to ruin Lily’s day but I can’t help thinking that it would be fun if Mawgan did end up flat on her bum on the grass.

  Polly nudges me. ‘I’ve just heard something from my Zumba mate, Karen. Did I tell you she’s married to Mr Gwennap’s brother?’

  ‘Er. No.’

  ‘Well, you know that I found out that Mr Gwennap was away when his fields were spread? Apparently, his hip replacement was paid for by “a generous member of the local community” who arranged for him to have it done privately. The old boy was taken aback but he needed the op and he wasn’t going to say no, was he? Karen said she’d promised not to reveal the name of the “well-wisher” but she dropped enough hints for me to guess.’

  Polly nods at Mawgan. ‘Besides, who round here has the cash to offer to pay for someone’s op and arrange for a load of slurry to be dumped on someone’s land?’

  We both fix our eyes on Mawgan, looking sweet and innocent in her bridesmaid’s dress. Butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. The drone hovers in the sky above Mawgan’s head, as if she’d specially arranged for it to do a close-up.

  Polly purses her lips then says in a loud voice, ‘Muck never sticks in some places, does it?’ She whispers again. ‘Of course I can’t prove it and if the contractors were paid cash by a third party, we can’t get evidence. Whoa!’

  In the nick of time, Polly stops her fascinator from sailing off in the breeze and out over the Atlantic. ‘Oh well. It’s an ill wind, eh? I’d rather be holding on to my hat all day than holding on to my nose.’

  Polly makes me smile, but I want to be smiling at her with Cal by my side. Is he driving up the road to Kilhallon even now? Is he trudging wearily down the track or sitting in a station cafe? I can’t wait to hear how his reunion with Esme went. I try to refocus. Lily hands her bouquet to her bridesmaid and joins Ben under the willow arch. They face each other and hold hands. Every eye in the glade is on them as the celebrant smiles and in his strong Cornish accent, says:

  ‘A very warm welcome, everyone, to the joining together of Lily and Ben on this beautiful afternoon.’

  At that moment, a hand closes around mine and a familiar voice whispers in my ear, ‘Sorry I’m a bit late.’

  ‘Cal!’

  People stare at me but I couldn’t help myself. I want to laugh and burst into tears all at the same time. Ignoring everyone, Cal kisses me. I close my eyes and everything and everyone around me vanishes for those few brief moments. I want to dance down the aisle and shout but I can’t even squeak because the celebrant is talking about the joining together of Lily and Ben and something about nature’s ways … and I’ve no idea what else because all I can see, hear, smell and touch is Cal.

  ‘Sorry,’ he mouths and squeezes my hand.

  ‘You made it,’ I mouth back, fizzing with relief.

  Polly leans forward and glares at us, but mostly at Cal.

  He smiles and shrugs. His shirt is rumpled, his boots are dusty. He looks tired, but the tension etched on his face has gone. Whatever happened between him and Esme in Greece, it doesn’t seem to have made things worse.

  The celebrant must have told us to sit down because everyone’s back in their seats and the folk band is playing a quirky version
of one of Ben and Lily’s favourite songs. While they’re playing and some people are clapping and singing along, Cal takes his chance.

  ‘I’m sorry I didn’t call you. Phone problems, no signal and then I didn’t dare call in case you were here at the ceremony and most of all I didn’t want to raise your hopes that I’d be back in time. When I saw the queue at the taxi rank, I had my doubts. I should have called and booked ahead but the past few days have been crazy and I haven’t exactly been thinking clearly.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter now. What about Esme? How is she?’

  He breaks into a smile. ‘I’ll tell you more later but she’s alive, she’s well, and she’s with a loving family who are helping her deal with losing her mum. There’s hope of a better life. They want to apply for asylum in Germany. Esme’s auntie is there and she’s offered to adopt her if they can get asylum.’

  ‘I’m so glad. It must have been terrible to leave her.’

  ‘Yes … but not what you think. It wasn’t like I thought— Ow! Jesus, Polly, that really hurt!’

  Cal rubs his side where Polly has poked him hard in the ribs. She puts her finger to her lips and gives him the evils.

  ‘Later,’ he whispers to me, still wincing, ‘I promise I’ll tell you everything, as soon as this is over.’

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  ‘Strangest wedding I’ve ever been to,’ Polly whispers as a hush falls over the glade while the celebrant invites Lily and Ben to make their vows to each other. I don’t care how strange or weird it is. All I know is that my whole body has heaved a massive sigh of relief. The wedding’s actually happening and Cal’s home and not in despair. His fingers brush mine, making my skin tingle deliciously, as we listen to the celebrant talking. Ben is reading out his vows about how amazing Lily is and how kind and gorgeous, but I’m trying not to giggle.

  ‘What’s up?’ Cal whispers as I clamp my hand to my mouth.

  ‘That’s his brave hero voice,’ I say. ‘It’s exactly the voice he used for the sea otter in Ocean Furries.’

  Cal smiles. ‘You’re a very bad girl.’

  I bite my lip as the celebrant invites Lily to speak. Unfortunately, he drops the microphone and everyone lets out a collective wince as the feedback unleashes a piercing shriek of sound. Then there’s laughter as Ben rescues the microphone and hands it to Lily. We all wait as she composes herself. And we wait some more. She seems to be taking a few deep breaths to calm herself but there’s an air of tension creeping in.

  Seconds pass and the only sound is the drone hovering over the altar, waiting, and the cawing of crows in the trees.

  ‘Oh dear,’ Polly whispers.

  ‘Shh.’

  ‘From the first moment I met Ben, at the read-through for Desperate Poets, I knew I’d found my best friend.’

  You can almost feel the sighs of relief as Lily finally speaks.

  ‘I have to say that our first meeting wasn’t an auspicious one. Ben had only just finished shooting a thriller and he had a terrible buzz cut and a bad attitude,’ Lily says.

  Everyone laughs again. ‘Despite that beginning, we seem to have got together and here we are now. About to be joined together forever.’

  Awws of delight echo around the glade. A few people applaud. Louie, sitting on Addison’s lap, lets out a yip.

  ‘And so …’

  Lily’s words are drowned out by a baby screaming. A little boy pipes up with, ‘Can we go in the tent yet?’

  Everyone laughs and then hush falls again as we wait for Lily to carry on. The baby is hurried off in her buggy and the little boy is quiet again.

  ‘And so …’ Lily begins again, still holding hands with Ben.

  ‘She is an actress – it’s probably for dramatic effect,’ Polly chirps up.

  It’s hard to see Lily’s face from the back. Butterflies stir in my stomach. What if …?

  ‘And so,’ she says in a loud voice that makes us all jump. ‘I can’t think of anyone else that I’d rather spend the rest of my life with.’

  ‘Phew. Thank goodness for that,’ I whisper to Cal. ‘I’m amazed they made it this far.’

  ‘Hmm. Slightly tense moment.’

  The celebrant starts talking again about the birds and the bees and nature and the stars and then addresses us all.

  ‘Dear friends, Ben and Lily will now seal their eternal love by exchanging rings.’

  Polly snorts. ‘Eternity’s a long time.’

  ‘Shh!’ hisses a woman next to her.

  Cal stifles a laugh.

  ‘So, now, we invite a very special guest, Boris, to deliver the rings to Lily and Ben.’

  There’s an air of confusion, a few mutter ‘who the hell is Boris?’ with people glancing at each other in puzzlement. Knowing what’s coming, I smile.

  Cal squeezes my hand. ‘This should be fun.’

  Everyone turns round to see the falconer with a beautiful tawny owl perched on her glove. There are gasps of amazement as she releases Boris and he flies swiftly down the aisle, his golden feathers flashing past, a tiny pouch dangling from his talons. Ben is wearing a leather glove and holds his arm straight out and rigid. From here, I can see he’s cringing as he braces himself for the landing. The drone whizzes up and hovers above the altar.

  Boris flies straight past Ben’s glove and up into the copse.

  After a few seconds’ confusion, everyone laughs.

  ‘Ah. Boris has decided to keep us waiting a while longer,’ says the celebrant.

  Jenni, the falconer, jogs down the aisle and whispers something to Ben, Lily and the celebrant.

  ‘Boris can be a bit unpredictable, apparently, but his owner assures us he’ll come down soon,’ says the celebrant.

  ‘Does that bird really have the rings in his pouch?’ Polly asks me.

  ‘Yes. The falconer tried to persuade Lily to put her substitute rings in the bag, in case this happened, but Lily wouldn’t hear of it. She thought it was cheating to use fake rings.’

  Polly rolls her eyes.

  ‘I’m sure Boris will come down soon,’ Cal says, though I can feel him shaking with the effort of trying not to laugh himself.

  ‘If he’s anything like his namesake, he’ll change his mind when it suits him,’ says Polly.

  Ten minutes later, the falconer is still trying to lure Boris down from his perch. The guests are all talking among themselves and the kids have started to chase each other about in the aisle. The falconer is desperately trying to tempt Boris with his favourite snack: raw rabbit chunks. Some of the kids have now wandered closer to watch the entertainment.

  Cal blows out a breath. ‘Boris isn’t going to budge, is he?’

  ‘I don’t know, but I need to do something.’

  Rachel joins the falconer to talk to her. Jade is on her feet and pacing up and down and glaring at Rachel, as if it’s her fault. Ben and Lily are talking to each other. Lily seems to be in tears. People are staring at them.

  ‘Shit. This isn’t what we want. I have to go and see what I can do.’

  I’ve no idea what help I can be but when I reach the bridal party, I can see Lily’s in tears and Ben is furious. He rips off the glove and throws it on the ground. ‘I knew this was a barking mad idea. That owl isn’t coming down any time soon. Why didn’t you let it have the falconer’s rings?’

  ‘Boris is a wild creature,’ Lily says reasonably, ‘and I wanted him to have the real rings. I wanted this whole thing to be authentic and natural and not fake, unlike the rest of my life!’

  Ben glares at her. ‘Fake? What are you trying to say, Lily?’

  Jade leaps up and grabs Lily’s hand. ‘Now, darling, calm down. We don’t need that bloody owl. We can use some other rings until we get them back. Here, I’m sure someone’s got one to spare.’ She catches sight of me. ‘You. Find two rings so we can get on with the ceremony now.’

  Rachel jogs over. ‘I’ve got the spare rings from the falconer. They were her grandparents’ and she keeps them for this very purpo
se. They’re not ideal but they’ll do for now so we can carry on and enjoy the most important part of the ceremony.’ She puts her arm around Lily. ‘How does that sound?’

  Ben folds his arms. ‘Fine by me. Lily?’

  Lily stares at him and then slowly looks around at all of us ranged in a circle around her. Me, Ben, Rachel, Jade, Addison and the falconer. She turns away and looks up into the trees where Boris sits on a branch, watching us all.

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘It’s not your fault. It’s that damned stupid bird!’

  ‘Shut up, Jade!’

  Lily’s shriek makes us jump and the buzz of conversation stops.

  ‘You’re stressed and upset. I can believe it after all the cock-ups but everything’s going to be fine. Come on, take the rings and let’s get on with this.’ Jade tries to take Lily’s arm but Lily pushes her away.

  ‘I can’t do this. I know you’ll all hate me and I’m very, very sorry, Ben, but you know it wouldn’t be real. You know that, Jade knows it and even Boris knows it. That’s why he flew into the tree.’

  ‘No, he didn’t. It was the drone, that fucking drone!’ Jade shrieks.

  Neil, the celebrant, steps between her and Lily. ‘Please, madam, this is a solemn occasion.’

  ‘No, it’s not. It’s a farce. A bloody farce. Letting my biggest clients have this wacky shambles of a wedding in this godforsaken corner is a farce. Now, Lily, come to your senses and marry Ben.’

  Jade makes a grab for Lily who backs away just as Harry bursts out of the copse and into our group. ‘Get your hands off her,’ he thunders.

  Jade lets go of Lily and rounds on Harry. ‘What did you say?’

  Everyone stares at us. My pulse races. Ben’s mouth is open. Neil and Rachel are frozen, their expressions horrified.

  ‘I said, keep away from Lily. If she doesn’t want to marry Ben, that’s her decision. Everyone knows you’ve badgered and harassed and bullied them into this.’

  Jade expands like a puffer fish, spitting venom. ‘How dare you! How dare you poke your nose in, you interfering pleb!’