Layla was drowning in his eyes. She reached up to pull him closer and couldn’t recognise her own voice as she cried out his name.
Layla woke first, a little before dawn, knowing that she’d had nowhere near enough sleep to face a day at work, but she didn’t care. The need to go downstairs to the bathroom had woken her but she let herself drift into consciousness without moving a muscle.
She let herself become aware of everything she could feel. The heavy weight of Alex’s leg draped over one of hers. The ridge of his arm beneath her head. The rise and fall of his chest against her cheek. The heavy grunt of his breathing that was almost a snore because he was still so deeply asleep.
Layla hadn’t intended staying here all night. She must have fallen asleep first, because if Alex had she would remember it. She would have agonised over whether to wake him up to tell him she was going or just slip away and leave him a note or something.
Shifting her head carefully so as not to wake him, Layla moved so that she could see his face. His lips were parted slightly. Long, dark lashes nestled on his cheeks. She had never seen Alex asleep before. He looked so peaceful.
So young.
Something huge squeezed in her chest as she remembered their conversation of the night before and put the pieces of the puzzle together. She knew now what Cade had meant when he’d said that Alex knew too much. That he was too quick to jump to conclusions about a small patient who might have been abused. She could understand why Alex had been so angry. So ready to deliver a brutal blow to Ramona’s boyfriend.
It broke her heart to think of any child being abused. But to know that Alex had been injured so badly, physically and emotionally, went beyond heart-breaking.
Tears stung Layla’s eyes. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and hold him to her heart. She couldn’t fix the past but she could protect him now.
She could let him know that he hadn’t deserved a childhood like that. That he should have been treasured and loved. She had to move more now. So that she could lift her hand and touch his face. Just with a single fingertip. A butterfly’s kiss on his temple. To let him know that he was loveable. That he was loved.
By her.
Oh … God …
Those tangled, dark lashes flickered and Alex’s eyes opened at the same instant that the realisation hit Layla that this wasn’t only about physical attraction. And it never had been. Not for her.
So much for throwing fuel onto the ashes of a smouldering lust to let it burn itself out. What Layla was feeling now was burning so brightly that she knew it would never go out. She never had, and never could, love anybody other than Alex like this.
Maybe it was just as well it took as long as it did for Alex to surface completely. That he reached for her while he was still more than half-asleep and that their slow kiss reignited their earlier passion. He would never know how tenderly Layla had touched him. Or see the tears that had filled her eyes.
Talk about mind-blowing.
Alex had often wondered what it would have been like to have the luxury of spending a whole night with Layla.
Now he knew.
Had he really thought that a sleazy motel room would have been a good idea?
Or that the sex would have been satisfying but uncomplicated?
Layla was in the shower now. Alex had pulled jeans on but nothing else and he was making a pot of coffee while he waited for his turn to freshen up. He’d been invited to share the shower. Nobody could have missed the flash of disappointment—confusion, even—at his swift turning down of the offer.
God knew, he’d wanted to share that shower.
So why wasn’t he in there? Soaping Layla’s gorgeous body. Wrapping her in a towel and pulling her into a kiss as steamy as the bathroom, while they were both wet and slippery and smelling like the soap?
Because it would have been a step too far, that’s why.
And last night hadn’t been? Alex shook his head, emitting an incredulous huff as he spooned ground coffee into the jug.
It wasn’t supposed to have been like that.
So … tender.
It had never been like that before so he hadn’t expected it. Hadn’t expected to feel like that. As though he wanted to make it up to Layla for having had to live a lie for most of her life.
To show her that he was real. That this was real.
And it wasn’t, was it?
What was eating at his gut right now was the knowledge that they hadn’t been having sex for half the night. They’d been making love.
And that was a kind of lie all on its own because if you made love like that you were making some kind of promise about the future, weren’t you?
And he couldn’t make that kind of promise to anyone. Especially not Layla. She’d proved she could turn her back and walk off if it suited her.
The kettle boiled and he poured the water over the coffee grounds. The smell hit him and he breathed in deeply as he fitted the plunger. Time to wake up, Rodriguez, he almost snarled inwardly. Don’t even think of going there.
Trust nobody. Except yourself.
It was the only way to stay safe.
The rap on his door was unexpected. Alex crossed the room and opened it to find Cade, who held up a large paper bag.
‘Breakfast, man.’ Cade was grinning. ‘I’ve got news.’ He entered the apartment with the ease of someone who knew they were welcome. ‘Mmm. You’ve got coffee ready. Perfect timing.’
They both knew that the clunking sound advertised the shower being turned off. Cade was over by the kitchen bench now, depositing the bag. His head turned swiftly. He took in the fact that Alex was only wearing jeans and that the button was still unfastened. Then he turned to stare at the bathroom door.
‘Oops. Sorry. Am I interrupting something?’
Alex shrugged, turning to push the door closed. He didn’t see the bathroom door opening.
‘Nothing important,’ he said lightly. ‘I got lucky last night, that’s all.’
The shock of seeing Alex’s half-brother standing directly in front of Layla as she came out of the bathroom was nothing compared to hearing the dismissive words that had just been spoken.
‘Hey, Layla …’ Cade looked embarrassed. On her behalf, perhaps, after hearing that she’d just been a playmate for the night? ‘I should … um … head off and get to work or something.’
‘Nah … stay and have some breakfast, now you’re here.’ Was that relief in Alex’s tone? An escape route from the intimacy of sharing a meal after the night they’d had? ‘Layla doesn’t mind, do you, Layla?’
‘Not at all. I’ll just throw some clothes on.’
‘And I’ll jump into the shower. I’ll only be two minutes.’
Layla dressed as quickly as she could. She was planning on skipping breakfast. Alex had company and, besides, she needed to get home and changed so she didn’t turn up at Angel’s wearing the same clothes she’d left in yesterday.
But Alex was coming out of the bathroom as she went back down the stairs. He had a towel knotted around his hips and an apology written across his features.
What was he sorry for? That they’d been busted or because he’d dismissed what had happened between them last night as ‘nothing important’?
He watched her pick up her handbag and stepped closer.
‘Don’t go,’ he said softly. ‘Please? At least have a coffee?’
This was confusing. Maybe the intention of last night had simply been to indulge the physical attraction they shared in the hope that it would burn itself out, but they both knew that it had been bigger than simply sex. That something had changed.
That they hadn’t picked up where they’d left off years ago.
They’d made a fresh start.
And this time it actually held the potential of going somewhere.
If they let it. If they wanted it to.
Layla felt a wash of that emotion she’d experienced watching Alex sleep. She knew how damaged this beautiful man had to be, whether he was a
ware of it or not. Did she really expect him to trust her straight off? To trust that what had happened last night was real?
Maybe she could take the first step. She could let him know that she wasn’t about to run away if things got tough. That, this time, she was quite prepared to do whatever it might take to be with him.
She smiled at him. ‘Coffee would be great. And some of whatever’s in that bag, if there’s enough, because it smells divine and I’m hungry enough to eat a horse.’
‘Is that what they do in Texas?’ Cade welcomed her into the kitchen with a grin. ‘Eat horse for breakfast?’
‘Only if there aren’t any griddle cakes and black-eyed peas.’ Layla eyed the bag he was ripping open. ‘Bagels. Yum.’
‘Help yourself.’ Cade watched as Layla swiped a smear of cream cheese from the bag and licked it off her finger. ‘You and Alex, huh? And there I was, telling people that those rumours were rubbish.’
Alex had dressed himself with impressive speed. He was buttoning his shirt as he joined them but he paused to drape his arm over Layla’s shoulder.
‘Layla and I go way back,’ he told Cade. ‘Pre-Brisbane days.’
‘Ahh …’ Cade looked as though he was retrieving some more of those rumours. The ones about Layla being married at the time, perhaps. Or maybe he was putting two and two together about the unpleasant legal repercussions of Jamie’s disastrous surgery and coming up with a reason for them splitting up that nobody would want to talk about. He gave his head a tiny shake and cleared his throat.
‘Speaking of Brisbane,’ he said to Alex, ‘I was busy myself last night. Having a long conversation with your friend Callie.’
Layla was trying not to watch as Alex tucked his shirt into his pants and did up his fly and belt buckle. There was something about the inflection on the word ‘friend’ that sent a shaft of something nasty through her belly. Was Callie the one that Alex had had the fling with when he’d arrived on that side of the world?
Jealousy. That’s what that nasty sensation was. Layla had no right to feel this possessive. Good grief … what was happening to her here?
‘She’s talked me into taking the job,’ Cade continued. ‘I’m heading off as soon as I can work out my notice. Couple of weeks, tops.’
‘Wow … you don’t muck around.’ Leaving his top buttons undone and his tie hanging loose, Alex filled a mug with coffee and took a big swallow. ‘You sure you want to do this?’
‘I’m not a kid any more, Alex. I get to make my own choices and learn from them if they turn out to be mistakes.’ His gaze flicked to Layla and then back to his brother.
Layla caught her breath. Was Cade actually saying that he thought Alex having anything to do with her was a big mistake?
No. The sudden tension between the brothers suggested that some button had been pushed that had nothing to do with her. There were probably all sorts of triggers buried in their shared, stormy backgrounds. A background that Layla needed to take into consideration for all sorts of things. Like being patient with Alex if it took him a long time to trust her. And understanding his passionate reaction to cases of child abuse. Accepting his need for his own space at times to focus completely on the career that had been his way forward from a horrible start to his adult life.
The comment led to an awkward silence that Layla felt compelled to break.
‘I should get going,’ she said. ‘I’ve got a big meeting at nine a.m. We’re trying to find sponsors to help with the fundraising to update our MRI machine and it’s a biggie. We were supposed to do it yesterday but the meeting got derailed when I had to see someone in Emergency.’
‘I thought that was already sorted,’ Cade said.
‘What?’
‘The social committee put out a flyer last week. They’re hoping everyone will attend the big Halloween party they’ve got planned. That’s down as a fundraiser for the MRI.’
‘Oh … I hadn’t caught up with that.’ Layla smiled at Cade. ‘Thanks for the heads-up. It might help to encourage the sponsors. Any money from a hospital fundraiser will be great but we’ll still need more. New technology doesn’t come cheap.’
‘It should raise heaps. Tickets are a hundred dollars and everyone’s being asked to bring as many people as they can. It’ll be Angel’s staff and all the friends and relatives they can bring with them. The venue could hold a thousand people apparently.’
Layla blinked. That was some fundraiser. Why hadn’t she heard about it already?
‘You’ll have to come,’ Cade continued. He sent a crooked smile in Alex’s direction and it looked like it was intended to be an olive branch. ‘I’m heading out to a costume-hire place with a few others after work today. Want me to pick something out for you?’
‘I don’t do dress-ups.’ The words were curt. And he was looking at Layla rather than Cade.
I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not, the silent message said.
Was he trying to tell her that he was real? That this—whatever was happening between them—was also real? On the inside as well as the outside?
‘Neither do I,’ Layla said, still holding Alex’s gaze. Then she looked at Cade and smiled. ‘I’ll be happy to buy a ticket, though.’
Cade shrugged. ‘Well, if it turns out to be my farewell gig from Angel’s, you’ll have to come, costume or not.’ His glance slid from Alex to Layla and back again and a corner of his mouth lifted. ‘Both of you.’
Was he giving his blessing to the idea of them as a couple now? Encouraging Alex?
This was doing her head in. It didn’t matter where she stood with Cade but how Alex felt right now was very, very important. Did he still see this reunion as a means of putting out an old flame so that they could both move on and be able to work together without it creating any personal tension?
Had it really been her suggestion?
Yes. But she’d known, deep down, that there was more than just a flicker of hope that it could be more than that.
What had she done? She’d learned so much more about Alex, that’s what. She’d stirred the ashes and discovered that she’d been in love with him right from the get-go and she’d only fallen deeper last night.
Had she set herself up for a devastating blow?
The thought was terrifying but there was nothing she could do about it. As far as she was concerned, the step they had taken now was irrevocable. It was Alex’s call how it was going to play out because there was no way she could pull the plug on this.
Vulnerability was dangerous. It made you weak. Layla had learned very early in life that if you felt threatened you had to make yourself stronger. Take charge. Fake it till you made it and all that.
She lifted her chin. ‘I really do have to go. Got a hospital to run. I’ll see you boys later.’
At least with Cade there, the awkwardness of what to say or do in farewell was gone. There would be no lingering kiss. No promises of when they could be together again.
It was a good thing, Layla told herself firmly as she flagged down a taxi outside Alex’s apartment.
A promise was only words and a promise could be broken.
Like hearts could?
CHAPTER NINE
IT WAS AMAZING how quickly you could get used to a new routine. How quickly you could become lulled into a false sense of security. Within days, almost, Alex and Layla both stopped worrying about the rumours that might be circulating through Angel’s. Now they didn’t even bother to try hiding the fact that they were arriving for work together.
Tyler Donaldson wasn’t about to let a chance slide by when he saw them standing near the huge fish tank in Angel’s lobby one morning.
‘You guys look as happy as pigs in muck,’ he announced. His grin widened. ‘Life’s good, huh?’
‘Hey, Ty.’ Layla seemed happy to greet her old friend but Alex had spotted another early arrival at the hospital.
‘Jack! Hey … haven’t seen you for ages.’
‘Alex …’
Th
e handshake between the two men instantly morphed into a typically male, one-armed hug that involved a bit of back thumping.
Jack Carter held his hand out to Tyler. ‘I haven’t had a chance to congratulate you on fatherhood. How’s it going?’
‘I’m lovin’ every minute of it.’ Tyler shook Jack’s hand but raised an eyebrow at the same time. ‘And didn’t I hear a rumour that you’re gonna join the sleepless nights and nappy brigade? How’s Nina doing?’
‘Glowing,’ Jack said proudly. ‘Nearly five months along now.’
‘She certainly is glowing,’ Layla put in. ‘I only caught up on that news myself last week. You must be thrilled, Jack.’
‘Oh … for sure.’
‘She told me that you’d adopted Janey and Blake, too.’
Jack shook his head. ‘I know. Single man one minute, father of three the next. Life’s full of amazing surprises, isn’t it?’
‘Mmm …’ Alex caught just the flicker of a glance in his direction. ‘I wouldn’t disagree with that.’
He made no attempt to join in the conversation, however, because he had the uncomfortable sensation that he had been left alone in a parallel universe here. He wasn’t disinterested because Jack Carter was his oldest friend. They’d been through medical school together. It had been Jack who’d set up this job for him at Angel’s. They hadn’t seen so much of each other since Jack had left to take up a full-time position at the pro bono centre in Harlem. He’d been Jack’s best man at the wedding, of course, but that had been a long time ago now. Jack still did the odd consult here at Angel’s and Nina was still a social worker but their paths didn’t cross often enough. Perhaps that was why he hadn’t noticed Nina’s shape changing. Not that he wasn’t happy for Jack because Jack looked on top of the world.
He just couldn’t imagine it for himself. In the wake of his childhood—and Cade’s—the responsibility of bringing a child into the world was not something he would touch with the proverbial bargepole.
Layla seemed to be more than happy to be discussing the expected arrival date and how Nina’s younger siblings were feeling about the addition to the new family. There was something about the animation in her face that rang a warning bell for Alex.
NYC Angels: An Explosive Reunion Page 11
