The Lost City

by J

  His companions groaned in their scaly shackles.

  “It’s not an either/or situation,” said Tzelek. He lifted his ax over Lord 6-Dog’s helpless body.

  “Excuse me, Lord Tzelek?” asked the mossy-dreadlocked stone man.

  “What is it? Can’t you see I’m busy?”

  “It’s just that most of us are man-eaters,” explained the stone man. “And we’re hungry.”

  “Fine.” Tzelek rolled his eyes. “Share with the snakes. Whatever. Just make sure they suffer horribly.”

  The monsters advanced in a circle, drooling and licking their lips.

  “Hold it right there!” shouted a woman’s voice as a sickening smell filled the room. “I command this army!”

  The monsters froze in their tracks.

  Tzelek held his nose. “Can’t a person sacrifice his own half brother in peace around here?”

  A fork of lightning zigzagged to the floor, melting a hole in Uncle Ted’s tiles, while a deafening crash of thunder made every creature in the room jump out of their skins—in many cases, literally.

  When they looked again, a giant bat stood in front of Tzelek.

  “Kamasootz’, queen of the bats,” he said. “To what do I owe this honor?”

  She bared her fangs and flapped her leathery wings. “The boy’s blood is mine. How dare you feed him to your snakes?”

  “Well, you should have showed up on time, shouldn’t you?”

  “This is no business of yours. I agreed that my vampire armies would help storm this house in return for the boy’s blood. He is mine, and mine alone.”

  “I feel like a short order cook,” said Tzelek in irritation. “So 6-Dog is mine and Max Murphy belongs to Kamasootz’. If no one else has any special requests, the rest of you can share the other three.” He motioned toward Hermanjilio, Raul, and Lady Coco. “Everybody happy?”

  A crash came from the office, followed by a roar.

  “What was that?” squeaked Raul, his voice high-pitched and echoing from inside his snake-filled suit of armor. “What’s happening?”

  “Eek’ Chapaat,” said Lady Coco. “He must have broken through.”

  “I hate to be the one to tell you this, Kamasootz’,” said Tzelek with a snigger, “but the Murphy boy was also promised to Eek’ Chapaat.”

  A murmur of protest went around the room. Apparently, there was honor among monsters.

  “Eek’ Chapaat doesn’t share with anyone,” the stone man pointed out.

  “Then I must move quickly,” said Kamasootz’.

  As the thump of Eek’ Chapaat’s many footsteps drew nearer, a black cloud of bats engulfed Max’s body, gripping him with their claws to immobilize him. He looked to his friends, but they were too busy fighting off the surge of hungry monsters moving in for the kill.

  Max heard wood cracking and splintering as the office door was ripped off its hinges by two giant centipede pincers.

  Kamasootz’ placed her webbed fingers and strong thumbs around Max’s neck to hold him still. She had pink eyes like a mouse and a little snout like a pig. As she bared her fangs, her army of bats squeaked in excitement.

  Max closed his eyes. He’d read somewhere that the teeth of vampire bats were so sharp, their victims never felt the incision. He hoped it was true.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  FREEZE-FRAME

  As nothing seemed to be happening, Max opened his eyes again.

  The room was suspended in freeze-frame.

  Kamasootz’, queen of the bats, hovered over him, fangs bared, so close he could smell the blood on her breath.

  The tidal wave of monsters was poised motionless mid-rampage.

  Even the flames in the hearth did not move.

  Only a flurry of owl wings disturbed the stillness.

  “Greetings, Max Murphy,” said Lord Kuy, the owl messenger of the underworld, as he landed between Max and Kamasootz’. His sinister yellow eyes blinked slowly and his sharp beak glinted in the moonlight. “I have come to rescue you.”

  Max looked at him in confusion. “Why would you rescue me? You work for Ah Pukuh—and he hates me.”

  “Ah Pukuh wants to talk to you.”

  “What about?”

  “I am but the messenger.”

  “What if I don’t want to talk to him?”

  “Then I will fly away and this little scene”—Lord Kuy flapped a wing at the demonic diorama—“can play itself out. Kamasootz’ will drain your blood while Eek’ Chapaat chews on your bones and the rest of the guests feast on your friends. Is that what you want?”

  “And if I talk to Ah Pukuh?”

  “All will be butterflies and rainbows,” sneered Lord Kuy.

  Max sneered back at him: “Lord 6-Dog says that butterflies are the souls of the dead, and rainbows mean the moon goddess is angry.”

  “Lord 6-Dog is a buffoon. Make your decision.”

  “Where is Ah Pukuh?”

  “He awaits you in Xibalba.”

  “Why can’t he come here?”

  “The Maya god of violent and unnatural death is not at your beck and call. Come or don’t come, the choice is yours. But make up your mind. I haven’t got all day. And Kamasootz’ looks thirsty.”

  “How do I know Ah Pukuh won’t kill me?”

  “You don’t. It’s Ah Pukuh. He’s volatile.”

  I need this to be a dream, thought Max, and I need to wake up right now. He pinched himself hard. It hurt. This was no dream.

  Meanwhile, Lord Kuy looked bored and inspected his talons for mouse entrails. “Are you coming or not? Ah Pukuh does not like to be kept waiting.”

  Max considered his options.

  His friends were about to be sacrificed or eaten.

  Kamasootz’, queen of the vampire bats, was about to sink her fangs into his neck.

  Eek’ Chapaat, the gigantic man-eating centipede, was about to burst into the room and tear him limb from limb.

  When he looked at it that way, he didn’t have much choice. So, for the second time in five minutes, Max Murphy found reserves of bravery he didn’t know he had.

  “I’ll come,” he said.

  It was like one of those extreme roller coasters where your feet hang free, except a million times scarier because there was no safety bar, no carriage, no track, and no guarantee that Max’s feet wouldn’t hit all the obstacles that loomed at him out of the darkness.

  Lord Kuy gripped him in his talons as he soared and swooped into the night, diving down, down through the raging ocean, into a tunnel of blackness, through caverns of mist and fog, along dripping passageways of slime, before dropping Max onto frozen flagstones in a room as cold as an icebox.

  Max lay there for a moment as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He looked around the chamber and shivered. Torches flickered in sconces, but their flames gave out no heat. The air was thick with the smell of mold and flatulence.

  Lord Kuy poked Max with a claw. “Get up. Lord Ah Pukuh is here.”

  And there he was. Through the gloom, Max saw the blubbery, plague-marked figure of the god of violent and unnatural death sitting cross-legged on a carved wooden throne at the far end of the room.

  Lord Kuy pushed the boy forward.

  “Greetings, Massimo Francis Sylvanus Murphy!” trumpeted Ah Pukuh, his many chins wobbling in welcome. “Or can I call you Maxie?”

  He was wearing a spectacular headdress featuring shrunken human heads carved out of beeswax and impaled on bamboo spikes. The heads peered out of green feathers that waved like jungle plants, and each head was topped with a shock of orange hair like a troll doll’s.

  “Greetings, Massimo Francis Sylvanus Murphy!” echoed the heads in squeaky voices.

  Under Ah Pukuh’s chins was coiled an extraordinarily lifelike snake necklace. It was thick and brownish gray, with a pattern of yellow diamonds. As Max studied it, the snake raised its head and flicked its tongue at him.

  He jumped back in alarm.

  “Come back!” commanded Ah Pukuh. “Com
e and tell me all your news. We have a lot of catching up to do. I’ve missed you, Maxie.”

  “We’ve missed you,” agreed the heads.

  Max backed away even farther. “That snake,” he said. “I recognize it. It’s a fer-de-lance.”

  “Want to hold it?” Ah Pukuh unpeeled the snake from his neck and held it out to Max. “It won’t bite.”

  “It won’t bite,” repeated the heads.

  “Yes, it will,” said Max. “It’s one of the deadliest snakes in the world.”

  “You’re not in your world, you’re in the underworld. Down here, we say lively not deadly. So it’s one of the liveliest snakes in the world.”

  The heads tittered.

  “It’s still a fer-de-lance. I’m not touching it.”

  The heads tutted.

  Ah Pukuh sighed and passed the snake to a loincloth-wearing attendant. The snake instantly bit the attendant, leapt out of his arms straight as an arrow, and slithered off into the shadows. The attendant took three steps and collapsed on the floor.

  “You said it wouldn’t bite,” said Max accusingly.

  “Oops,” said Ah Pukuh.

  “Oops,” giggled the heads.

  “Is he dead?” Max asked as the attendant’s body was loaded onto a bamboo stretcher.

  “Who cares?” said Lord Kuy. “We’re all dead down here. Let’s get on with business.”

  Max looked at him cautiously. “What business?”

  Ah Pukuh smirked. “I have some good news for you, Maxie. But perhaps you want to thank me first.”

  “Thank you? What for?”

  Ah Pukuh and the heads looked hurt. “For rescuing you, of course. From what I heard, Kamasootz’ and Eek’ Chapaat were about to have you for dinner. I couldn’t let that happen. Not to my friend Maxie.”

  Max looked at him suspiciously.

  Ah Pukuh smiled innocently. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “I smell a rat,” said Max.

  Ah Pukuh shrugged. “What of it? There are thousands of rats in Xibalba. It’s our house fragrance. Eau de Rat.”

  “You know what I mean. How did you know exactly when to send Lord Kuy?”

  “I sensed you were in trouble.”

  “Did you? Or did you order up those monsters in the first place?”

  The heads looked at each other uncomfortably.

  Ah Pukuh feigned shock. “Me? No! What makes you say that? Besides, they were under strict instructions not to harm one little hair on your head.”

  “I knew it!” said Max. “I knew it was you! You do realize that you’ve destroyed my uncle’s house? Why would you do that?”

  “Because I love you, Maxie!”

  “What?” Max spluttered.

  “It was a cry for attention. I sent the monsters so I could rescue you. So I could prove how much I love you.”

  “You don’t love me,” said Max coldly. “What’s this really about?”

  “You’ve got me all wrong, Maxie. I brought you down here to tell you how much I’ve changed. And I’ve got you and your cousin Lola to thank for it.”

  Max was scoping out the room for an escape exit. Now that his eyes were accustomed to the gloom, he saw that part of the room was separated by a thin cotton curtain, behind which shadowy figures could be seen reclining on low platforms.

  “How’s that?” he said vaguely.

  “Thanks to you, I’ve boarded the peace train.”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “I’ve renounced evil.”

  Max burst out laughing.

  “Why is that funny?” Ah Pukuh and the heads looked offended.

  “You are joking, right?”

  “Is it so hard to believe?”

  “To be honest, yes. Evil is what you do.”

  “I hear you, Maxie. But I’ve given it a lot of thought. I’ve realized that just because I’ve always been known as”—he made quote marks in the air with his sausagey fingers—“the god of violent and unnatural death, that doesn’t mean I have to label myself for all eternity. I watched you and Lola at the Grand Hotel Xibalba, how you worked as a team, and I envied you. Yes, I’ve enjoyed being boss of the lowest and most evil level of the Maya underworld. But it’s lonely at the bottom.” Ah Pukuh’s lower lip trembled like a vibrating slug. “I’ve never had a friend.”

  Tears formed in the wax eye sockets of the heads.

  Max looked away, embarrassed. “What about the Death Lords?”

  “Savages, the lot of them. They don’t know the meaning of loyalty.”

  “Where are they, anyway?”

  “I’ve sent them to charm school. It’s time they learned some manners.”

  “There’s Lord Kuy,” suggested Max. “He could be your friend.”

  “That oily avian? He’d leave me in a heartbeat if he got a better offer. You’ve taught me that real friends stick around. It’s you and me, Maxie. BFFs.”

  Max stared at him in horror. “What?”

  Ah Pukuh gave a ghastly smile that looked like it hurt his mouth. “It means best friends forever.”

  The heads blew kisses at each other.

  “What about your plans for world domination?” asked Max. “Last I heard you were going to use the Jaguar Stones to destroy planet Earth—starting with me.”

  Ah Pukuh smirked. “Oh, that funeral business. You didn’t take it seriously, did you? It was just my little joke.”

  “It wasn’t funny,” said Max.

  Ah Pukuh’s face grew solemn. “I see that now. I’m a reformed character, Maxie. I’m on your side.”

  Max shifted uncomfortably. “What does that mean?”

  “I don’t want to end the world anymore. I want to use the Jaguar Stones as a force for good—healing sick children and that sort of thing.” Ah Pukuh tried to look saintly.

  “Why would you do that? Evil is your life. It’s taken you an eternity to collect the Jaguar Stones. If you use them for good, you’ll be throwing away everything you’ve worked for.”

  “You’re a good influence on me, Maxie. I want to be just like you. I want us to hang out together all the time. What do you say?”

  Max chose his words carefully. “I think it’s great that you’re turning your life around. But maybe you should choose someone else to be your friend, because I’m going home to Boston soon.”

  “Is that so? Have your parents been released?”

  “No, but—“Max narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “What do you know about my parents?”

  “Never mind them.” Ah Pukuh’s voice took on an edge. “Work with me, Maxie. Here I am, trying to make a fresh start, and all you can do is reject me.” The heads in the headdress glared at Max angrily. “I have feelings, too, you know.” Ah Pukuh pulled down a head and used its hair to dab at his eyes. “You can hardly blame me if I react by lashing out.” He looked at the head and sighed. “It looks like the end of the world is back on track.”

  The heads cheered.

  “Is that a threat?” asked Max.

  “Absolutely.”

  Max rolled his eyes. “You’re saying that if I won’t be your friend, you’ll go back to your evil ways? But if we hang out, you’ll drop the whole end of the world thing?”

  “Exactly! We’ll eat pizza, play video games, make playlists, shoot hoops. I’ve got it all planned out. Let’s do a blood oath right now, to swear our loyalty!” He produced an obsidian blade and offered it to Max. “You first.”

  Max pushed the blade away. “That’s not what best friends do anymore.”

  “It’s not?”

  “No way.”

  “So what do they do?”

  Max thought quickly. “They give each other space.”

  Ah Pukuh looked crestfallen. “That doesn’t sound fun. Can we at least send each other pictures of cute fluffy kittens?”

  “I guess,” said Max without enthusiasm.

  “I’ve never had a best friend before!” Ah Pukuh clapped his hands like an excited prom princess. “Promi
se you’ll do anything for me? Promise you won’t let me down? Promise on the little fluffy-wuffy head of a kitty-witty?”

  “Yes.”

  “Promise on the snuffle-wuffle nose of a puppy-wuppy?

  “Yes.”

  “Promise on the fuzzy-wuzzy tummy of a bunny-wunny?”

  “Yes.”

  “Promise on the pinky-winky little heart of your cuzzy-wuzzy?”

  “Stop! I get it, okay?”

  “Do you promise?”

  In less stressful circumstances, Max might have concentrated a little harder on what Ah Pukuh was saying. He might have realized that a cuzzy-wuzzy was a cousin and that he’d just put Lola’s life on the line. But he wasn’t really listening. All he heard was Ah Pukuh’s girlish tones and his nauseating giggle. He was spooked by the whole situation, and he just wanted to get back to his life.

  So, without giving a thought to the consequences, he said again, irritated by this childish game: “Yes. I promise.”

  “Slumber party! Slumber party!” chanted the heads.

  Ah Pukuh looked hopefully at Max.

  “Maybe another time,” he said diplomatically.

  “I get it.” Ah Pukuh nodded wisely. “You want me to stay cool and give you space.” He clicked his fingers. “Kuy, please escort Maxie back to Middleworld. And take good care of him. He’s my new best friend.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  BEST FRIENDS FOREVER

  “What have you done?” said Lola. “We only went out for Chinese food, and you demolished our house.”

  “Haven’t you been listening? I didn’t destroy your house; Ah Pukuh did. He summoned all the monsters so he could save me from them.”

  “And that’s another thing. You shouldn’t be making friends with Ah Pukuh.”

  Max had a sudden pang of guilt, a flashback to a moment when he had possibly made a promise that involved Lola’s pink little heart. He decided not to mention it. “Ah Pukuh said he’s changed. He wants to use the Jaguar Stones for good. He said that if I rejected him, he might go back to his old ways. What was I supposed to do?”

  “Ask yourself why he wants to be friends with you.”

  Max felt vaguely insulted. “What are you getting at?”

  “You think he’s interested in your sparkling personality?”