The Chinese Tiger Ying

by Larry Darter

  “Yep, no worries,” I said. “I’ll be there as soon as I finish attending the appointment. Ahkay, I better let you get back to work and get on to it. I still have to get dressed.”

  “Okay, babe,” Mike said. “See you later then. While you’re here, we can plan something for tonight after work.”

  “Yep, sweet,” I said. “See you soon.”

  We hung up. I felt a bit uneasy Mike had started appending “babe” to his speech when addressing me. He’d done that over the weekend. The word had been his favorite term of endearment for me during our past relationship. Maybe I was overreacting, but it was a bit of a worry. I feared him using the term meant Mike thought us being intimate again meant we were moving towards having the same kind of committed, exclusive relationship we’d had before. We would definitely have that talk tonight and get it sorted. I’d intended to have the talk with Nick when I’d spent the night with him last night. But, since he had brought takeaway home with him from work and we’d gone directly to rooting after dinner, I hadn’t had the chance. It was hardly the sort of discussion I could bring up during the brief interludes between the passionate action.

  I’d just finished dressing when the mobile rang again. It was Nick.

  “Hey beautiful,” Nick said.

  “Hey Nick, how’s it going?” I hadn’t expected him to ring me today.

  “Terrific,” Nick said. “Just got back on the boat from a dive class. I was thinking about last night and thought I’d call and see what you wanted to do tonight.”

  “Yeah, nah, I can’t see you tonight, Nick,” I said. “Remember my best mate Jackie I told you about? She rang me earlier, and we organized a catch-up for this evening. We haven’t seen each other in ages because I’ve been so busy with my case.”

  “Aw gutted, babe,” Nick said.

  There was that word again. What the fuck?

  “I want to see you again tonight, so bad,” Nick said. “Can’t you reschedule with Jackie? Please?”

  Okay, I was feeling a bit panicked now. This was the first time I’d had plans to spend the night with one lover only to have the other insist on seeing me. And poor Nick sounded so desperate and sad.

  “Nick, Jackie is my best mate,” I said. “I can’t strike her off after we’ve made plans. It would be rude. I can’t do that to Jackie. We spent last night together. Can’t you hold out for just one night? I can see you tomorrow.”

  “I don’t want to wait a whole day, but I suppose I can,” Nick said.

  “I’m sorry, sweetie, really I am,” I said. “Not that I wouldn’t rather spend the night with you. I just can’t cancel on Jackie at the last minute.”

  “Okay, I get it,” Nick said. “I’ll hang on until tomorrow. Hey, you want to invite me over to your place tomorrow for a change of pace? You’ve always had to come to the apartment.”

  I was in full panic mode now. I’d never planned on inviting Nick to the house after Mike had entered the picture. It was one of the degrees of separation between him and Mike. While my past relationship with Mike wasn’t supposed to count, we still had a history. Now that I was sleeping with him again I knew it was only a matter of time before Mike would feel free to bowl around to my place with no notice. I couldn’t insist he not. If I did, he’d quickly grow suspicious and ask questions. I also couldn’t risk Nick showing up at my door and Mike being there. I hadn’t even been specific with Nick when telling him where I lived for that reason.

  “I’ll just come to your flat like always,” I said. “I really love coming to your place, Nick.”

  “Sure, okay, I just thought we’ve been together for a while now, and I’ve never seen your place,” Nick said.

  “I’ll have you over soon,” I said. “Just not tomorrow night.”

  Jeez, another bloody lie. I hadn’t even sounded convincing to me.

  “Okay, as long as I get to see you it doesn’t matter where,” Nick said.

  “That’s sweet,” I said. “Can’t wait to see you, sweetie. Fiveish again?”

  “Yeah, that’s cool,” Nick said. “See you then, babe.”

  “See you soon, Nick.”

  We hung up.

  Bloody brilliant. Not only had Nick brought up coming to the house, but it had also been the first time he’d rang me on my mobile. In the past, he had rung the office number and left a message and would wait for me to ring back. I hadn’t actually given him my mobile number, keeping it as another small degree of separation between him and Mike. But, I’d rang his mobile last Sunday from mine. Without thinking, I’d given him my mobile number when I did. Now I was in a panic, and it was time to go see Dr. Nix. Bloody fantastic.

  Thirty-Three

  Dr. Nix had his head cocked slightly to the side, ready to listen.

  “I’ve been thinking,” I said.

  Nix nodded giving me the “tell me about that” sign.

  “We’ve talked a little about me having sex with both the guys I’m dating,” I said.

  Nix nodded.

  “And one of them is a former partner as I recall,” he said.

  I nodded.

  “Yep, that’s Mike. I was dating Nick, and we’d been intimate for a while when Mike unexpectedly came back into the picture. Somehow we ended having it one night while Mike was at the house, and now I’m having sex with them both regularly.”

  Nix nodded slightly for me to continue.

  “After talking it over with my best mate, Jackie, we organized a plan I feel will handle my situation which has become a bit complicated,” I said.

  “Jackie, she is the friend you go to for therapeutic second opinions when you don’t quite agree with something I’ve said,” Nix said.

  “It’s hardly like that,” I said. “Jackie isn’t a therapist, is she? She is a helicopter pilot and my best mate. I respect her opinion on things.”

  Dr. Nix gave a small, encouraging nod.

  “Tell me about this plan you and friend Jackie came up with,” Nix said.

  I nodded.

  “I will have a serious talk with both Mike and Nick. I will draw some firm boundaries for my relationships with them. That should prevent any misunderstandings.”

  Nix said, “Boundaries?”

  “Yep.”

  “Tell me about the boundaries.”

  “I will make it clear to both of them I’m only interested in something casual and fun, not a long-term monogamous relationship. I intend to stress that just because we enjoy having sex with each other, it doesn’t mean we aren’t all free to date other people anytime we wish and to have sex with other people if we choose.”

  “If I’m following correctly, you understand there is a high probability one or both men at some point will become aware you’re also being intimate with the other. So, you intend to publish a preemptive disclaimer of sorts for when it happens. The logic being neither man will break up with you if you’ve given him advance notice you may not only be sharing intimacy with him but also with someone else at the same time.”

  “Yes, because the bottom line I want to get across is we’re having sex with each other because we enjoy having sex with each other. And, while I have an affection for them, having sex doesn’t mean we are in a committed monogamous relationship, or even on any trajectory toward one.”

  “Why did you break up with Mike before?” Nix said.

  “I’ve told you that,” I said.

  “Might be useful to talk about it again.”

  “Have you forgotten what I told you?”

  “I sometimes forget things,” Dr. Nix said. “But in this case, going over this again serves as a therapeutic tool. Reexamining the same thing again in a different context sometimes makes new insights surface that can be useful.”

  “Ahkay, Mike and I broke up because he was too possessive and too protective. And the other thing was we both wanted different things. He wanted us to marry and make babies. I wasn’t ready for that. I wasn’t even certain I would ever be. But, Mike kept pressuring me to want what
he wanted, to settle down and start a family. It was smothering me, so I had to step away.”

  “But, now Mike is fine with having casual intimacy with you, and he doesn’t want marriage and children anymore?” Nix said.

  “Mike says he is all good with our current arrangement,” I said. “To be fair, I’m not convinced he doesn’t still want the same things from me as he did when we were in the relationship. But so far, touch wood, he hasn’t tried to push me into the kind of relationship we had before.”

  Nix nodded.

  “So, what do you think of my plan? Do you think it’s workable?”

  “What is the endgame?” Nix said.

  “Endgame?”

  “Yes, what’s your goal? Where do you see this arrangement you’ve created unilaterally going?”

  “Ah, nowhere, actually,” I said. “I’m massively happy with it as is. I feel an attachment to both Mike and Nick. The sex with them both is seriously great and incredibly pleasurable. I want things to continue as they are now. Both Mike and Nick are great guys, but each of them has different qualities I find appealing and stimulating. I want to keep them both. And, I’m fine if one or both choose to see other people as long as we can carry on as we are.”

  “How often are you seeing them?” Nix said.

  “Multiple times a week,” I said. “I’m alternating. I’ll spend a night with Nick at his place. The next night I’ll spend with Mike at mine. Then it’s back to Nick’s the next night, and so on.”

  “Ever heard the phrase deeds, not words?” Nix said.

  “Maybe.”

  “It’s a motto adopted by the suffragettes, back in 1903, I think it was,” Nix said. “Doesn’t matter because they stole the motto from an ancient Roman philosopher. It was closer to ‘deeds, not words only’ or ‘deeds instead of many words’ translated from the original Latin. The point is, most people looking for the truth will pay attention to your words, but then they look to your ‘deeds’ or your behavior for confirmation, always. Then they decide what the truth is. Easy to lie with words only, impossible to sell a lie if the behavior doesn’t match.”

  “Ahkay, I get that,” I said. “But what does it have to do with anything?”

  “Apply it to your situation,” Nix said. “Mike or Nick, pick one. You’re sleeping with him three, four times a week, depending on how your schedule works out. Mike is at your house, you’re at Nick’s place. Whatever. You both know you’re about to have sex. But first, you say something like; ‘Listen, it’s only sex. Having sex doesn’t mean I may not date other people and have sex with them too while I’m seeing you and having it with you. You need to understand that.’ Got me so far?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, now since you’re seeing him three or four nights a week, Mike or Nick, doesn’t matter, what do you think he assumes from that even though you’ve set the boundaries you spoke of earlier.”

  “I don’t know,” I said.

  “Yes, you do. You know. What does he assume?”

  I thought about it for a while. Then I saw the point Nix was making. He hadn’t given me the answer. He had trusted me to work it out myself.

  “They might assume I’m afraid to make a commitment? That I’m only saying, it’s okay if we want to date other people. But, he might assume from how often I’m with him, I’m not seeing and having sex with anyone else.”

  Nix beamed. I knew that was as close as I’d ever get to an attagirl from Nix.

  “Let’s take it a step further,” Nix said. “We’ll use Mike since you’ve spoken more about him. If Mike says to you, ‘I’m only dating you, how about you?’ How are you going to respond to that?”

  “It wouldn’t be right to lie,” I said. “But it might be a situation where you could be too honest. Maybe I’d first ask him if he really wanted me to answer the question. Because if I answered it, things could get messy and there could be unwanted feelings of jealousy.”

  “Don’t you think saying all that would just be another way of answering the question, another way of admitting you were dating someone else?” Nix said.

  “Yes, I guess so,” I said. “But, if I’ve already told him that had always been part of the arrangement so it wasn’t cheating. And, that I’d said he was equally entitled to date others. Why wouldn’t he understand and accept it? Why would it have to affect negatively what we have together?”

  “Deeds not words,” Nix said. “He may listen to your words when you give him the talk, but he will also see you’re spending intimate time with him three or four nights a week. He will assume from that you aren’t also being intimate with someone else.”

  “You think he would break up with me don’t you?” I said. “That either of them would if they asked me that question. Even if I’d warned them, I might see other people while seeing them. Because they would both assume I wasn’t. And they would both feel betrayed.”

  “Don’t know,” Nix said. “I can’t predict what someone I’ve never met would do in any circumstance. But, only as an educated guess, I think you’re probably right. They would both make the assumption based on your behavior, and it’s a safe bet both would feel betrayed.”

  I’d felt good about my plan and the boundaries idea when I’d walked in. Now not so much.

  “You think I’ll be caught out on this, and no matter how much I try to be upfront and honest with them, when I’m caught out, I’ll lose both of them don’t you?" I said

  “What I think isn’t our goal here,” Nix said. “What do you think?”

  “It isn’t fair,” I said. “I care about them both. I don’t want to choose. I want to keep them both. Why can’t I have what makes me happy? Is there no way I can have what I want? Why is monogamy the only way? Don’t heaps of people have polyamorous relationships that work?”

  “We might consider your situation polyamory since you care for both men and engage in intimacy with them both,” Nix said. “But, it doesn’t meet the criteria for a viable polyamorous relationship. For a polyamorous relationship to work, all the people involved must agree to the involvement of other people. Mike and Nick don’t know about each other. They haven’t agreed to the involvement of others.”

  “Ahkay, right,” I said. “Just because I’m a sluttish tart doesn’t mean I’m not a good person.”

  Nix smiled and looked at his watch.

  Thirty-Four

  Bloody marvelous. My shrink thought me debauched. I wasn’t sure he was far wrong. Maybe I was ruining the lives of two good men only out of selfishness. Maybe having two gorgeous sexy men wanting me constantly made me feel like the ultimate catch rather than the ultimate loser I’d felt like the first time I’d walked into Dr. Nix’s office. I was so confused. Maybe I didn’t even know what it was I wanted? Or maybe I didn’t want what I should?

  Given my mental and emotional state, it was nothing short of a miracle I made it to the police station on South Beretania Street without crashing my motorbike.

  I told the uniformed officer at the desk I’d come to see Detective Mike Young. A few minutes later, Mike came down to the lobby and then took me upstairs to his desk in the homicide squad room. It was the first time he’d done that since we had broken up.

  Mike pulled a chair over beside his, and I sat down. No one was looking, so I leaned in and gave him a quick pash on the cheek. He looked at me and smiled. Sitting there beside Mike, I realized how his presence always made me feel warm inside, so safe and protected. I handed him the packet I’d brought with me.

  “Here are the things I told you about over the phone,” I said.

  He looked at the compact disc, the copy of the rental agreement, and then the photos of Zhang Yong.

  “The photos are great,” Mike said. “You still don’t want to tell me how you got the rental agreement and the copy of the security videos? We even have a hard time getting cooperation from the public storage people. We usually have to get a court order.”

  “Trust me, you don’t want to know the details of that
bit,” I said recalling my visit with Chet the groping douche. “I did nothing unlawful, but it wasn’t pleasant. I only hope I’ve not been traumatized permanently.”

  Mike laughed. Then he turned and called over an attractive blonde detective.

  “Yes, Mike,” the woman said, leaning on Mike’s desk with both palms on it.

  “Cassie, can you run these photos to the jail?” Mike said. “Pull those two guys out we arrested at the airport this morning. Show them the photos and ask them if this is the guy that paid them off.”

  “Sure, Mike, happy to help,” the woman said. “If there is anything else you need, just ask.”

  The woman gave him a huge smile that seemed to hold a lot of promise and then turned and walked away with a good bit more hip and shoulder action than I thought necessary.

  “Who the bloody hell was that?” I said.

  “Cassie,” Mike said absently while perusing the rental agreement I’d brought. He looked up at me. “Detective Cassandra Simmons that is. Everyone around here calls her Cassie.”

  “Is she new?” I said.

  “No, she transferred into homicide to take Maki’s spot when Maki went to property crimes.”

  “Funny, I don’t recall you mentioning Cassie,” I said.

  “No reason to,” Mike said. “And, we hadn’t been talking much until recently.”

  “She fancies you,” I said, “that Cassie.”

  “She does not,” Mike said. “She is only a co-worker.”

  “Yes, she does,” I said. “I saw how she looked at you, how she talked to you in that cute little girl voice. ‘Anything you need, Mike just ask.’ And, she leaned over your desk so you could take a peek at her cleavage. Then she wiggled her arse for you all the way out of the room. I’m sure you didn’t notice that bit.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Mike said. “Seriously? You’re jealous?”

  “Nooooo, I’m not jealous,” I said. “Don’t be ridiculous. I was only making the observation nasty Cassie fancies you. Men can be so bloody thick about women. Just saying, seems we’ve got another bloody Oshiro on our hands.”