Corrupt Idol

by Dinah Harper

  “Holy fuck, Violet.”

  He sounded stunned and rightfully so. This was the first time she had ever reached for him. She was desperate for what he could provide—temporary oblivion and pleasure. This was wrong, but right now she didn’t fucking care. In the darkness, there was no one to witness this coupling.

  His fingers stroked her hair as she suckled. She knew exactly what he wanted. He had taught her long ago. As she worked him, the warm breeze caressed her naked skin. Every wave that rolled in buried her thighs in soft, wet sand. She felt daring, defiant, and proudly brazen. Feeling him tremble from her touch made her feel powerful instead of weak and helpless.

  “Fuck.”

  Jesse jerked away and cupped her face as he leaned down and kissed her hard. “I’m going to come in your mouth if you don’t stop.”

  “I can—”

  “Tell me what you need,” he said in a voice rough with desire.

  She positioned herself on her hands and knees, breasts smashed against the wet sand with her ass in the air. He needed no further urging. He knelt behind her and sheathed himself in one brutal thrust. She grabbed handfuls of sand as he planted himself deep.

  “Violet, I—”

  “Just do it,” she ordered.

  He didn’t argue. He fucked her raw. Her scream was masked by the waves and when he came, he sent her sprawling. Her cheek was pressed to the sand as he rested over her quivering.

  “Violet,” he moaned.

  “Shh.”

  She didn’t want to talk. She wanted to suspend reality for as long as possible. He straightened and carried her back into the water to clean the sand and himself from her before they picked up their piles of clothes and headed to the lounger where she had dropped her slippers. She was surprised when he pushed her down on the lounger and knelt between her shaking thighs. He was gentle as his tongue slid over her, tending to her swollen flesh. She stared up at the stars as she gave herself over to the moment and climaxed with her hand clenched in his hair.

  He straightened and kissed her deeply, letting her taste herself on him. She gripped his neck to prolong the kiss. When the kiss ended, he hovered over her, searching her face.

  “Better?” he asked.

  She nodded.

  “Let’s go,” he said.

  He dressed and had to help her because she hadn’t recovered her faculties. When she stood, he picked her up in a fireman’s carry. She was too tired to complain. When he walked into the air-conditioned room, she tensed. He made his way to the bathroom and set her down in the shower. She slumped against the wall and waited for him to leave. He didn’t. Her eyes flared as he stepped in with her and slipped off his shorts and reached for her dress.

  “What the hell are you doing?” she quietly shrieked.

  “The door’s closed between the rooms,” he said.

  “Why would they do that?” she asked, so distracted by this detail that he managed to pull her dress off before she could stop him.

  “My guess is she’s having a rough night and doesn’t want to disturb us.”

  “Maybe I should—”

  “Bathe,” he said and turned on the shower, making her sputter.

  He boxed her into the corner and kissed her silly. She punched him in the stomach, which made no impact on him. When he finally pulled away, she had to blink a couple times because her head was spinning.

  “Thank you,” he said before he began to soap her up.

  Not another word was said between them as he bathed her. She left the shower before him and did her night routine in record time before she crept into the room and spotted the closed door. Hastily, she dressed in the dark before she slipped in bed and pulled the covers up to her chin like a child.

  She stared at the ceiling. She had done something stupid tonight. Monumentally idiotic. She waited for the rush of guilt and shame, but nothing happened. Instead, she closed her eyes, yawned, and fell asleep.

  “Hey.”

  She looked up from where she was sitting on her bedroom floor, surrounded by open boxes. Jesse stood in the entrance leading into the bathroom. Her heart skipped a beat as she took in his moody expression.

  “Hey,” she said and went back to pulling things out of the box.

  As he strolled toward her, her skin prickled in alarm. This morning, they had time for a quick breakfast before they had to check out and head to the airport. Thankfully, all of their seats were grouped together on the plane. She arranged Mom and Dad between her and Jesse. Once they arrived back in Texas, Dad forced Lynne to go to the hospital. She accompanied them, but was left in the waiting room until Lynne was wheeled out a few hours later, announcing that all was well. She noticed that Dad didn’t agree with her and looked worried, but he didn’t contradict Lynne. When they reached home, she whipped up dinner and spent her time by Lynne’s side until she fell asleep.

  Everyone went to bed hours ago. It was the wee hours of the morning and since she couldn’t sleep, decided to unpack. She was sure no one was awake. She’d been quiet as a mouse and thought he wouldn’t notice her light on. She should have known better.

  He crouched beside her. “Are you avoiding me?”

  She scooped a stack of clothes out of the box and plopped it on the carpet. “Of course not.”

  He gripped her chin. “I’m not playing this game with you,” he said in a low growl.

  She blinked. “I’m not playing a game.”

  He cocked his head. “Aren’t you?”

  She batted at his hand. “No, I’m not. I don’t have the heart for it.”

  “Then what happened on the beach?” When she tried to look away, he tightened his hold on her. “You gave yourself to me, Violet.”

  “I was having a moment! We both were. I was sad and—”

  He gave her a small shake. “Why can’t you admit that you need me too? Is that so hard?”

  “I don’t need you!”

  In a move so swift, she wasn’t sure how it happened, he spun her away from the bed and pinned her flat on the carpet. His hand gripped her throat as he loomed over her.

  “I’m hanging on by a fucking thread here,” he warned. “Mom’s sick and you’re… I don’t know what you are. You say you hate me, that you want a sexless friend and then you come onto me. You kissed me, spread wide for me, let me pleasure you.”

  “It was just sex.”

  His eyes narrowed to slits. “It’s more than that. You need what I can give you, don’t you see? When you’re feeling lost and alone, you turn to those you can trust.” He rested his forehead on hers. “Damn it, Vi, I thought we sorted our shit.”

  “Sex sorts nothing!” She braced both hands on his chest and pushed. “I was having a moment. That’s it.”

  His hand flexed on her throat. “Liar.”

  “Don’t call me a liar!”

  “I love you, but right now I want to strangle you. You’re making me crazy.”

  “Don’t you dare say that word!”

  He leaned down and tightened his hold on her when she tried to jerk away.

  “I’m going to say it until you believe it,” he said against her lips. “I’ve hurt you, so you want to hurt me back. I can take it, and I’ll take you whenever you give me an opening, but I’m not going to let you ignore what’s between us.”

  His hand slid over her thin top and squeezed her breast.

  “I’ll never forget the sight of you sucking me off, naked, cast in moonlight. It’s etched in my memory forever.” He groaned and pressed his forehead against hers as his hand moved further down her body to her shorts. She jerked as he unerringly found her nub and began to rub, her thin pajama shorts no detriment to his ministrations.

  “Jesse, don’t!”

  He kissed her. She was expecting him to be rough and brutish. The gentle, coaxing kiss took her by surprise. When he deepened the caress, her eyes fluttered shut. He kissed her with such absorption that her mind wiped clean of all thoughts. Her hips left the ground so his finger could penet
rate her folds.

  “I love you,” he rumbled as his eyes tracked over her face. “And you love me too.”

  Her heart slammed against her ribs. “I don’t.”

  He kissed her forehead. “Stubborn.”

  His hand disappeared from between her legs and he rose, leaving her prone and trembling on the floor.

  She stared at him. “Jesse?”

  He gripped his erection through his sweats. “You know where to find me,” he said before he walked through the connecting bathroom to his room.

  She stared at the dark doorway, mind and body clashing as she struggled to think past the lust he roused in her. She clamped her thighs together and threw an arm over her hot face as she cursed him.

  Twelve

  “Violet.”

  A shake jolted her awake. She opened her eyes and squinted at the figure beside her bed. “Jesse?”

  “The paramedics are here,” he said.

  She sat up and threw back the covers. “What? What happened?” she demanded and started toward the door.

  He caught her arm. “They’re putting her on the stretcher. Get dressed. We’re following them to the hospital.”

  “What happened?” she shouted.

  “Dad said she wasn’t breathing right so he called 911. Hopefully, it’s nothing. Get dressed. I’ll be in the living room.”

  He strode out of the room and closed the door behind him. She flew to her window and saw some neighbors standing beside the ambulance as it pulled away. Even as panic seared her insides, she told herself this was nothing. Lynne was going to be fine. Just last night they stayed up late playing Scrabble. She and Jesse had been pushing the boundaries on borderline inappropriate words to make Lynne laugh. She glanced at the clock. One-forty-five in the morning.

  She splashed her face with water, brushed her teeth, and then pulled on jeans and a shirt before she rushed out of her room with her purse in hand. Jesse stood in front of the door leading to the garage. He pushed it open as she approached.

  “Let’s go,” he said shortly.

  “Dad’s with her?” she asked urgently.

  “Yeah.”

  She got in the passenger seat and buckled herself in. “What does that mean, she wasn’t breathing right?”

  “I don’t know,” he said as he backed out of the garage and turned a little too quickly, making the tires squeal as he sped down the empty road. “He said she was gasping for breath so he called for the ambulance. He woke me up just as they pulled up.”

  “Maybe she just needs an oxygen mask,” she said as she twisted her hands together in her lap. When he barely tapped the brakes at a stop sign, she reached over and grabbed his arm. “Slow down, Jesse.”

  “I was calling her name and she didn’t respond,” he said tightly.

  Her fingers dug into his arm. “She’s gonna be okay. Just slow down. We don’t want to get into an accident.”

  It had been almost a week since their return from Florida. There was a steady stream of people coming for visits to see Lynne. They didn’t have to cook since everyone always brought a dish with them. Between cleaning, trying to organize all her things, and caring for Lynne and her father, she was starting to feel a little ragged. Although Lynne tried to keep the mood light, there was no denying that she was deteriorating rapidly. Dad hovered over her night and day. She had to force him to take naps when Lynne had visitors. Jesse ran interference so Lynne could rest. It had been a tense week and it wasn’t over yet.

  She held onto Jesse’s arm until he parked. They ran into the hospital and made their way to the emergency room, which was pandemonium. It took over ten minutes to get answers to where Lynne had been taken. They ran to the room and were greeted by the sight of Dad kneeling beside the bed, face buried in the sheets.

  “Dad?” she whispered.

  He raised his head and turned toward them. She sank to her knees as her legs went numb. He didn’t need to say a word. It was written all over his face.

  Jesse rounded the bed and took Lynne’s hand. “What happened?”

  “They said she had acute respiratory failure,” Dad said in a lifeless voice. “She was declared dead on arrival.”

  “But… she was fine a couple hours ago,” she whispered.

  Dad shook his head. “I should have taken her to the hospital. I shouldn’t have listened to her. She was always downplaying everything…”

  She stumbled toward him and put her arm around his shoulders as he cried. She felt her mind disconnect from her body as she stood there, staring at Lynne who looked as if she was sleeping. Her gaze went to Jesse who stood on the opposite side of the bed. His eyes were glued to Lynne’s face. He showed no emotion, but she saw his hand trembling as it held his mother’s.

  This couldn’t be real life. She wasn’t ready. Doctors came in. It took all of her will power to focus on what was being said. They were asking about what would be done with her body, forms that needed to be signed, and more that she couldn’t hear over the buzzing in her ears. Neither she nor Dad was in any state to act, so Jesse took over.

  Thirteen

  The house was deathly quiet. She stared at the ceiling and watched the first hint of sunlight touch her bedroom curtains. It had been three days since Lynne passed. That wasn’t enough time to wrap her mind around the fact that Mom was gone, but it was enough time to prepare a funeral. Everything was moving at supersonic speed. Mom’s best friends showed up at the hospital and took care of all the funeral arrangements, which had been planned ahead of time.

  Two weeks ago, her biggest worry was how she was going to pay her bills and where she would rent. Two weeks later, she had moved back to Texas and was attending Lynne’s funeral. Tears leaked out of the corner of her eyes. Life wasn’t fair. Lynne should have had more time. How could she be okay one day and gone the next?

  She, Dad, and Jesse had been handling Lynne’s death individually. She tried to help Dad, but he sent her away. She was too grief-stricken to fight him on it. Jesse seemed to be handling it the best. He dealt with neighbors and family friends who came by to offer condolences. She hadn’t seen him shed a tear.

  She rolled out of bed and went into the bathroom. She took a shower and stared at her swollen eyes in the mirror. That wouldn’t do. She walked out to the dark kitchen and put ice cubes in a towel and rested them over her eyes as she brewed coffee. She took her cup out to the back porch and sat on the swing. It was an overcast day with light rain falling, a fitting atmosphere for the day ahead. Her eyes stung as the conversation she had with Lynne came back to her.

  Women are the glue that holds families together. I need you to promise me you’ll keep the family intact.

  She had done a shit job so far. She took a steadying breath and sipped her coffee. If Lynne was here, she would tell her to dress in bright colors and put a smile on her face. She held the memory of Lynne laughing in the ocean in her mind as she went to her room and got ready.

  She wore a black long sleeve top and an ankle length skirt with bright flowers on it. Her makeup was light and easily fixable since she was sure she was going to bawl her eyes out.

  She jumped when the door to Jesse’s room opened. He was in his briefs and nothing else. He looked her over before he reached out and fingered her skirt.

  “Mom would have liked this,” he said.

  She gave him a tremulous smile. “I know.” Remembering her promise, she prompted, “Are you okay?”

  “No.”

  He stripped off his underwear and stepped into the shower. She quickly exited and went to Dad’s door. She knocked. Even though there was no answer, she peeked in. Dad sat on the edge of the bed, dressed in his suit, staring at the wall.

  “Dad?”

  He didn’t answer. She moved forward so she could see him properly. His face was completely blank and his eyes were staring at something she couldn’t see. He looked haggard and thinner than he had been a few days ago. She settled beside him and wrapped her arm around him.

  “Are y
ou okay?” she asked, voice warbling as she tried to suppress her emotions.

  “No.”

  Honest and blunt, just like Jesse.

  “I can make breakfast,” she said.

  No response.

  “Do you want coffee?”

  Still nothing.

  “Is there anything I can do?” she asked.

  “No.”

  That hurt like hell, but she tried not to take it personally. She gave him one last hug before she left the room and closed the door on her way out. She felt as if there was a bowling ball on her chest, restricting her airflow. It would be better once they laid Lynne to rest, right? To keep herself busy, she decided to make breakfast. She was just finishing up bacon and eggs when Jesse walked into the room wearing a dress shirt that matched his eyes and black slacks. He tossed his jacket over the back of a chair and stared out the window with his hands clasped behind him, his posture military straight.

  She was setting the table when Dad appeared. He said nothing to either of them as he grabbed the car keys.

  “Dad?” she called.

  “I’m going to take my own car,” Dad said without making eye contact. “You two can catch up later.”

  “Isaac,” Jesse began.

  Dad held up his hand. “I want to clear my head before the funeral. I’ll see you two there.”

  He slipped into the garage. She stood in the kitchen, twisting her hands together, not sure whether she should do anything.

  “He’s gonna be okay,” Jesse said.

  “I hope so.” She held up a plate of food. “Come eat.”

  They sat side by side at the table, neither of them eating much as it drizzled. The house seemed empty even with both of them there. She kept looking down the hallway, expecting Lynne to appear. When she felt the tears coming, she collected their plates and cleaned up the kitchen. All too soon, there was nothing left to do. Jesse had taken up his stance in front of the window again. She glanced at her phone and saw her messages piling up. She couldn’t read the condolences. She had to conserve as much energy as possible for the trials ahead.