Chapter 16
Tobias, what is your problem?”
Tobias looked at his brother Lukas, whose tanned complexion was florid with anger. Lukas tossed the piece of molding on the table in front of him. “This is the third time you’ve measured this wrong. It doesn’t fit, and now I’ve cut too much off. If we don’t get this armoire finished, Daed will have our heads.”
“Sorry. I’ll do it right this time.”
“You better.” Lukas was the most skilled woodworker in the Byler family, even better than their father. They all had natural talent, but Lukas’s passion for the craft surpassed them all. As serious about work as he was about life, he brooked no careless mistakes from his brothers. He turned around and headed back to the opposite end of the long work table, where he had been gluing and nailing the molding on the side of the large piece of furniture.
Respect for Lukas’s skill, combined with his own irritation at his lapse of attention, kept him from arguing with his brother. Instead he stalked to the very back of the shop where they stored the wood and selected another long piece of cherry molding. The wood was beautiful, as this particular Yankee customer wanted the best and had no problem paying for it. Lukas was right; if they screwed this job up, they would be losing a valuable customer, something that would upset their normally placid father.
He carried the molding back to the table and took out his tape measure. He intended to apply singular focus to his task, but as it had been happening all day, Rachel entered his thoughts. She was marrying Christian. Even though they hadn’t announced it, everyone knew. Rachel’s mother had been giddy with excitement, and he had over heard her and his mami talking about wedding plans a couple times during the church dinners. But the most telling sign had been the change in Christian. Before he had left for Charm, he had been a simple guy, not one to show too much emotion. Now, you never saw him without a smile. Of course who could blame him? If Tobias was marrying Rachel, he’d be walking around with a goofy grin too.
But Rachel’s reaction confused him. She didn’t act like a woman in love, at least how he thought one should be acting. He remembered how happy his sister had been when she and Levi had gotten engaged. Granted, that wasn’t the best example, considering how their marriage ended, but at the time Moriah had been very much in love with Levi, and everyone could see it. Kind of like they all could tell with Christian. Yet Rachel had seemed more resigned than anything else. Resigned and apathetic.
Or maybe that was wishful thinking on his part. He hated the idea of her and Christian together, but there was nothing he could do about it. Declaring his feelings for her now would complicate everything. And Tobias hated complications. He liked being Amish in part because he enjoyed the simplicity and ease of life. Not that he didn’t work hard, because he did. But he appreciated knowing what was around the next curve. With Rachel, he sure wouldn’t have that. Better to let Christian deal with her temper, her need to always have the last word, her competitive nature.
Lucky Christian.
“Tobias, the molding?” Lukas shouted at him. “I need it now.”
Shoving Rachel and Christian out of his mind, he ran the tape measure across the length of the molding and made the appropriate tick marks. Double-checking his work so he wouldn’t experience Lukas’s wrath, he took the molding to his brother, who put it up against the armoire. Nodding, he gave Tobias a half smile of approval.
At least someone was satisfied.
Gabe’s palms grew damp as he pulled his buggy into the Bylers’ driveway. It had been over a month since he’d seen Moriah, and he couldn’t stand it anymore. He had spent every night on his knees, asking for God’s guidance. The only thing that came to his mind clearly was that he needed to see her, but he didn’t know if that was God’s direction or his own overriding desires. Eventually he decided to take action, which had led him to try to visit her again.
He parked the buggy and stepped onto the driveway. His hat shielded his eyes from the glare of the bright sun. September had brought slightly cooler temperatures, mostly at night. Soon the harvest would begin. He had planted a small garden, and together he and his father would can the tomatoes, green beans, and beets the ground had yielded. Maybe one day he and Moriah would plant a garden for their own family, but he didn’t dare dwell on that prospect for very long.
The door to the wood shop opened, and Gabe turned to his right in time to see Tobias come outside. His light-blue shirt and dark pants were covered in sawdust. When he saw Gabe, he held up his hand and waved.
Gabe shoved his hands in his pockets and walked over to him. Tobias brushed off some of the dust from his black suspenders, but he was still covered in the fine wood powder. “Hello, Tobias.”
“Nice to see you, Gabe.”
“Wie geht’s?”
“Fine, everything’s fine. Just taking a break. You here to see Moriah?”
“Ya. Is she home?”
Tobias nodded, his welcoming expression growing sober. “She is. I don’t know if she’ll want to see you, though.”
Gabe had expected as much. “Are you saying I should leave?”
“Nee. I’m not saying that at all. In fact, I’d be happy if you could talk to her. Maybe you can cheer her up a bit.”
“I don’t know. I really messed things up.”
“Gabe, you didn’t abandon her. You’re still here. I don’t think you’re messing up at all.” Tobias started toward the house, then motioned for Gabe to follow. “I’ll tell her you want to see her.”
“Danki,” Gabe said, grateful to have Tobias in his corner. He stood by the back door while Tobias walked into the kitchen. A few moments later he came outside, shaking his head. “She doesn’t want to talk right now. I’m sorry.”
Gabe nodded, drawing in his lips. “I’m not surprised.”
Tobias looked irritated. “For the life of me, I’ll never understand women. They do the opposite of what’s good for them.”
Suspecting he wasn’t just referring to Moriah, Gabe said, “Having some lady troubles yourself ?”
“Am I ever. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.”
“Because they’re worth it.” He said the words not only to convince Tobias but also to convince himself. “Listen, I don’t know what you’re up against, but let me give you a little advice. If love is within your reach, do everything you can to grab it. Don’t let her get away.” He looked up at the Bylers’ house. “You’ll only live to regret it.”
Tobias cocked his head to the side. “That is good advice.”
“Given from experience.”
“I know.” He smiled. “It’s gonna take Moriah some time, Gabe, but I think she’ll eventually realize she needs you. Don’t give up on her.”
Gabe looked at him. “I don’t intend to.”
“I think your wedding dress is coming along very well.” Sarah carefully folded a small pleat in the waist of the dress and stitched it in place. “Don’t you think so?”
Rachel stared at the dress in progress. They had cut the dress out of a lovely light-blue fabric a few days ago, and with both of them working on it, it was almost completed. She pushed her needle through the hem of the dress, only to stab her finger. “Ow.”
“I told you to use a thimble.” Sarah continued to sew, a shiny silver thimble on the middle finger of her left hand.
“They always slip off.”
“That’s because you’re not used to using them. I’m afraid I waited too long to teach you to sew.”
“I wasn’t exactly eager to learn.”
“True. You took to sewing like you took to cooking.”
“Not very well.” Rachel put her injured finger to her mouth.
“I wouldn’t say that. You’re adequate.” Sarah smiled. “You’ll have lots of practice after you and Christian are married. Good heavens, I can’t believe the wedding is only six weeks away. We have so much more to do!” Sarah sighed with contentment and folded another pleat.
Rachel wished she coul
d share her mother’s enthusiasm about her upcoming nuptials. She also wished she could share her future husband’s. Christian’s excitement had yet to wane, and all their conversations now centered on their marriage. He had already decided where they would live, in his parents’ dawdi haus until they found a home of their own. There were a couple of houses for sale in West Farmington, which wasn’t too far from their families. They had already looked at one together. Rachel had hated it.
More than once they talked about children. Christian wanted a large family, at least eight kids. Rachel wasn’t sure how practical that would be, considering how expensive it was to raise so many children. When she pointed that out, he gave his standard reply: God will provide. While she truly believed this, she still worried how they would make ends meet once they were married.
She was starting to think they had rushed things. As the wedding date neared, she became more and more anxious, and not in a good way. She’d even started dreaming about the ceremony. More than once she had awakened in a cold sweat when the groom in her dreams hadn’t been Christian. It had been Tobias.
“Is Christian coming by today?” Sarah asked, snipping the blue thread.
“Ya.”
Sarah put down her needle. “You don’t sound very excited.”
“I see him almost every day now,” Rachel said. “I guess the excitement has worn off.”
Her mother gave her a dubious look, then picked up a spool of thread. “It’s normal for brides to be nervous, Rachel. I was terrified when I married your father.”
“You were?” She’d never heard her mother admit this before.
“Ach, I was. Like you and Christian, we didn’t court long. And though I knew I loved him, I was still scared.”
“How did you know you loved him?”
“Let’s see. I’ll have to think about that. We’ve been married almost thirty years now.” She fingered one of the ribbons on her white kapp, and Rachel could suddenly imagine her mother as a young girl newly in love. “I thought your father was one of the most exciting men I’d ever met.”
“Really?”
“Ya. He was so charming, quick with a joke, but very kind. I remember one afternoon he came by to help my daed with the harvest, and one of my cats had just died. He stopped working to sit with me. I cried like a baby over that pet, and when I was done I felt foolish. I was eighteen years old at the time, a year younger than you, and I was far too old to be crying like that. But Emmanuel never teased me about that. Instead he put his arm around my shoulders and I leaned against him. That’s when I knew I would love this man for the rest of my life.”
Rachel’s sighed. “What a romantic story. I never knew Daed had it in him.”
Sarah chuckled. “Your daed has a side he never shows you kinder.” She reached out and touched Rachel’s hand. “Marriage isn’t easy, Rachel. It takes hard work. But the rewards and blessings are many. We couldn’t be prouder of our kinder.”
“Even Aaron?”
“Even Aaron.” Tears sprang to her eyes. “Aaron has had a rough time of it, to be sure. But he’s changed. God is doing a gut work in him, I can see that. Hopefully one day you’ll see that too.”
Her father suddenly came in the kitchen, covered in dirt from working in the barn. Sarah held up her hand and stopped him from taking another step. “Emmanuel! Off with those boots.”
He grumbled as he pulled them off and set them outside the door. “Can I come in now?” he said, pulling off his hat, revealing the bald spot on the top of his head that had grown larger with age.
“Ya. Now you can come in.” Sarah turned back to her sewing as he went to the cabinet to get a plastic cup. He took it to the sink and filled it with water from the tap.
Rachel regarded her parents for a moment. They weren’t overly demonstrative with their affections, as was the Amish way. But she had never doubted that they loved each other. For the first time she thought about how their relationship had weathered raising six children, especially Aaron’s drug abuse. She tried to imagine herself and Christian thirty years from now.
For some reason, she couldn’t.
“Christian’s coming,” her father said, looking out the window. “That boy’s like clockwork with his visits, isn’t he?”
“Ya,” Rachel said, still unsettled by her lack of clarity regarding her future with Christian.
“There’s someone coming behind him too. You expecting someone else?”
Rachel rose from her chair and started toward the window. “Nee. Only Christian.”
“Then who’s that?”
She recognized the vehicle right away.
Tobias.
Tobias wanted to throw up. Never had his stomach been so twisted up. For the past two days he thought about his conversation with Gabe Miller. He watched as Gabe stopped by their house and kept trying to visit Moriah, even though she refused to see him. The man said he wasn’t giving up on her, and he was as good as his word.
But Gabe’s visits weren’t the only thing that had gotten Tobias thinking. Gabe’s admonishment to grab love when it’s right in front of you had echoed in Tobias’s mind. He could see how miserable both Gabe and his sister were. How her marriage to Levi had been a mistake, and how both of them were living with regrets.
Tobias didn’t want to live that way. He didn’t want to regret letting Rachel go, even if he wasn’t sure he ever had her in the first place.
He’d never been a man of risk, always playing things safe. Today, he would take the biggest risk of his life. If he didn’t vomit first.
He pulled his buggy beside Christian’s. He’d been hoping Christian wouldn’t be here, but now he had second thoughts. Now he could talk to them both at the same time and hopefully make them both understand why he had to do this.
Christian jumped out of the buggy and walked toward Tobias. “Hello,” he said, sporting that crazy lovesick grin he’d had on his face since returning from Charm. “What brings you by?”
His stomach coiled into another knot. He truly understood what Gabe had gone through, being in love with Moriah but not wanting to hurt his brother Levi. Tobias didn’t want to hurt Christian, and for a split second, he thought about turning around and going straight back home. But he had come this far. There was no turning back now.
“I’m here to see Rachel,” he said to Christian.
“Oh? What about?”
Tobias didn’t like the possessive way Christian asked the question, as if Rachel were already his wife. “I just need to talk to her.”
“Can it wait ’til later? We were planning to go look at another house this afternoon. I think she’ll like this one, and the price is right.”
“Nee. It can’t wait.” He looked past Christian to see Rachel coming out of the house. His stomach twisted again, but not with nerves this time. Good heavens, she was so beautiful. Fair-haired Rachel, with sharp blue eyes and tongue to match, along with a fiery temper that he loved to spark. He couldn’t let her marry Christian. Not without a fight first.
“Tobias, what do you want?”
He could see she was annoyed with him, probably over the way he had treated her at the singing in August, where he had purposely flirted with Carol Mullet in front of her. Looking back on that now, he realized how immature he’d been. If he had only been honest with himself, and honest with Christian, then maybe Rachel would be his right now. Instead someone’s heart would soon be broken.
He hoped it wouldn’t be his.
“I need to talk to you, Rachel.” He looked at Christian. “There’s something you both need to hear.”
Rachel couldn’t imagine what Tobias had to say. He seemed uneasy. Disconcerted, as if he were about to jump out of his own skin. Instead of his usual relaxed stance, his hands were thrust deeply inside the pockets of his trousers, and his full lips were pressed tightly together.
Christian moved to stand next to Rachel. He put one hand on the back of her waist, which had been his habit whenever they were in public toge
ther. As if he were branding her as his own. The more he did it, the less she appreciated the symbolism. “What is it that you want to tell us?”
He took a deep breath and looked at Rachel. “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I acted like a dummkopf at the singing last month. I apologize.”
She didn’t know what to say. That had happened almost three weeks ago, and she hadn’t thought about it since. Well, not too often anyway. Okay, more than she wanted to admit, but still, she had assumed he’d forgotten all about the incident by now.
Christian looked confused. “What are you talking about?” He glanced at Rachel.
Tobias held her gaze, and she could barely breathe. His eyes were filled with something she’d never seen before, an emotion that made her run hot and cold at the same time.
“Did I miss something?” Christian said.
She ignored him. How could she be expected to pay attention to Christian with Tobias looking at her like that?
Tobias moved toward her. “Rachel, I’m sorry for every dumb thing I’ve ever said to you. For all the stupid things I’ve done. I promise, things will be different from now on.”
“How?” She could barely speak, her mouth had gone dry.
He took another step. “Trust me. I promise you, they will.”
“Will someone please tell me what’s going on here?”
Tobias glanced at Christian. “I need to apologize to you, friend.”
“Apologize?”
“For what I’m about to say.” He looked back to Rachel and leaned toward her. “You can’t marry Christian, Rachel.”
Her eyes grew wide at his unexpected words. “Why?”
“Because. I want you to marry me.”
Rachel literally could not speak. She tried to form words, any words, but nothing came out of her mouth. Tobias asking her to marry him rendered her speechless.
Christian, however, was not. “I don’t know what you’re up to, Byler. If this is a joke, it isn’t funny.”
“It’s not a joke. I’m sorry, Christian, but I’m in love with her.”
The Hearts of Middlefield Collection Page 23
