The Hearts of Middlefield Collection

by Kathleen Fuller

  “That’s why I came to see you.” She averted her gaze. “I needed to know something.”

  “What?”

  “How did you put your life back together?” Her eyes went back to him. “I didn’t realize it would be so hard. Everyone I know is still using or drinking. I’ve been offtrack for so long I don’t know how to get back on.”

  He let his arms fall to his sides, relaxing his stance. “One day at a time, Kacey. Did they tell you that in rehab?”

  She nodded.

  “That’s the only way to do it. I had to put that life behind me, because if I didn’t, I knew I’d be right back to using again. I came back to the Amish and to my family and joined the church.”

  “You’re lucky you had something to go back to. I don’t.”

  “What about your mom?”

  “Who do you think was the inspiration for me to go to rehab? She’s in worse shape than I am.”

  Remembering her parents were divorced and her father wasn’t in the picture, Aaron asked, “What about friends?”

  “I have a couple who are helping me out. They’re good people. I was also hoping we could be friends. Hang out together every once in a while. I miss how we used to do that.”

  He stilled. “I don’t think that’s a gut idea.”

  She sighed, glancing away. “You’re probably right. You’ve made a new life for yourself here, and you seem to be doing great. I guess I’m a little jealous of that.” Looking up at him, sadness filled her eyes. “It’s just so hard. I feel so alone sometimes.” She went to him, then put her arms around his waist.

  Before he could stop himself, his arms automatically went around her. 2

  Elisabeth couldn’t take it anymore. She stood outside of the front door to the shop, straining to hear. Why did Gabe have to build the door so thick? She couldn’t hear what was going on inside, and she was dying to find out. It burned her up to think about that woman and Aaron in there alone. What were they doing for so long?

  Unable to stop herself, she opened the door. What she saw made her freeze in place.

  He was hugging her. Even worse, she was leaning her head against his chest.

  Aaron looked at Elisabeth over Kacey’s shoulder, his eyes widening. “Elisabeth,” he said.

  The woman stepped out of his arms, gave Elisabeth a quick glance, then looked back at Aaron. “I need to be going. Thanks.”

  He nodded, but didn’t say anything. He stared at Elisabeth with an expression that almost looked guilty.

  Elisabeth moved to the side as the woman hurried past her and out the front door. The smell of her cigarettes lingered in the shop. When she heard the car backing out of the driveway, Elisabeth looked at Aaron. “Who was that?”

  “An old friend.” Aaron went to the peg board on the wall and picked up a long file. Grabbing a piece of metal with his other hand, he walked to the end of one of the worktables.

  “Is she an old girlfriend?”

  “What makes you say that?” he replied, not looking at her. He began rubbing his file against the metal in the vise.

  “You two were hugging.”

  “She’s having a hard time right now.”

  Elisabeth waited for him to elaborate, but all she heard were the rough scrapes of the file against metal. She moved to stand beside him.

  “What’s her name?”

  “Kacey.”

  “How long have you known her?”

  “A while.”

  “Is that all you have to say?”

  “Ya, Elisabeth. That’s it.”

  Frustrated, she clenched her fists. “You dated her, didn’t you?”

  Aaron pressed his lips together before answering. “Yep.”

  “How long?”

  “How long what?”

  “Don’t be dense, Aaron. How long did you date?”

  He tossed the file aside and looked at her. “Does it matter?”

  “Ya. It matters to me.”

  “Why?” He looked down at her, his eyes hooded, his emotions hidden. Just as they’d been when she first started working with him.

  The thought of him going back to that guarded, secretive person increased her frustration. “Because it matters.”

  “Not a gut answer.”

  “Neither is yours, so we’re even.”

  “I don’t know why you’re getting so mad.”

  “I’m not mad!” She threw her hands up in the air. “Why should I care who you date? If you want to get back together with your ex-girlfriend, who am I to stop you?” Furious, she walked toward him and looked him directly in the eye. “But if you start using again, Aaron Detweiler, I’ll . . . I’ll . . . well, I don’t know what I’ll do, but you won’t like it.” Spinning around, she stormed to her office, slammed the door, and plopped down on the chair in front of her desk.

  She fought for breath, for calm, and thinking back to what she just said to Aaron, for dignity. He was probably laughing at her right now. She couldn’t even carry out a threat properly. She wiped her forehead with her hand, wishing she could take back what she said. But she couldn’t.

  She waited, thinking he might come to the office, if anything to point out that she needed to mind her business from now on. But he didn’t. Even after she’d collected herself enough to do some paperwork, he still didn’t show up. She glanced at the clock. An hour had passed since her outburst. Curiosity overriding any sense of pride, she stood up and opened the door to see Gabe standing at the forge, with Aaron nowhere in sight.

  Elisabeth walked to her brother-in-law, making sure she stayed a safe distance from the forge. He looked up at her, removing his safety glasses. “What’s up, Elisabeth?”

  “Just wondered where Aaron was,” she asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as she could.

  “He left. Asked me for the rest of the day off when I came back. We’re not too busy today, so I gave it to him.” Gabe put his glasses back on. “Why?”

  “Just curious. I’ll let you get back to work.”

  Gabe nodded and then went back to pounding on the anvil. Elisabeth trod back to the office, bewildered, and kicking herself. She’d probably ticked him off this time. They had argued about a lot of things but never anything this personal. Maybe she’d finally crossed the line with him.

  The thought made her feel sick to her stomach.

  At the end of the day, Elisabeth left the shop, still thinking about Aaron and her confusing reaction to seeing him with Kacey. She’d never been jealous a day in her life. What in the world had come over her?

  She was about to climb into her buggy when she heard a car pull in behind her. When she turned, she saw Kacey. What was she doing here? Maybe she and Aaron had made arrangements to meet after work.

  Kacey got out of her car and, to her surprise, bypassed the shop and walked directly to her. “Is Aaron here?”

  “Nee. He left for the day.” So much for her theory that they were meeting after work.

  Kacey looked around and slipped her hands into the back pockets of her slim jeans. “I suppose that’s a good thing. Can you give him a message for me?”

  Elisabeth nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. The ribbons of her kapp fluttered as a light breeze suddenly kicked up.

  “Tell him I’m sorry. I meant to say that in person, but I didn’t.”

  Elisabeth’s heart softened a bit at the sincerity in Kacey’s voice. She didn’t know what Kacey was talking about, but she didn’t doubt her apology was genuine. “I will.”

  Kacey hesitated but then suddenly blurted, “Are you two friends?”

  “Ya, we are.”

  “You’re lucky. He’s a great guy.”

  “I know.”

  “I wish him the best. I hope he knows that.” Kacey looked at her for a moment, her lips forming a tight smile. Then she got in her car and left.

  Elisabeth watched her drive away, feeling like a fool. Any trace of jealousy she’d had disappeared with Kacey’s words. Aaron had said she was going through a hard time
, and from the sad, empty look in Kacey’s eyes, Elisabeth believed it. But instead of acting with compassion, she’d acted like a child. Kacey wasn’t the only one who needed to apologize.

  Chapter 16

  What a beautiful day it turned out to be.” Edna burst into Anna’s bedroom, a beaming smile on her face. “I thought earlier it was going to rain. But God has smiled down on you and Lukas today.”

  Anna smiled, trying to calm the butterflies flitting around in her stomach. Her wedding day. She couldn’t believe it was finally here, and she wouldn’t let anything spoil it. Over the past couple of days she was actually feeling better and had been pain free. It had to be a sign from God.

  “Everything is just about ready,” Edna said, walking toward her. “I spoke with Emma downstairs, and the bishop said they’ll start the service in a few minutes.” She took in Anna’s wedding dress. It was the same style as her other dresses, but the material was dark blue. “You look lovely, Anna. I know we’re not supposed to be filled with hochmut, even on a day like today, but I can’t help it. You’re beautiful.”

  “Danki, Mami. Hopefully Lukas will think so too.”

  “I know he will.” Edna’s smile dimmed. “You will talk to him after the wedding and let him know about the pain?”

  “I haven’t felt any pain for a couple of days.” She turned around and looked at the mirror above her dresser. “I might not have to tell him anything.”

  “Anna, you have to. Even if you’re feeling better, you have to tell him about the procedure.”

  She adjusted one of the pins holding her kapp in place. “I will, I promise. But I don’t want to talk about that now.” Facing her mother, she said, “I want to enjoy my wedding day.”

  Edna’s expression softened. “Of course. I’m sorry I brought it up. I trust you know what you’re doing.”

  “I do.” Anna picked up her bonnet and put it on. “You think they’re ready downstairs?”

  “Ya. I’m sure they are.”

  “Then I’m ready too.” She was ready to see Lukas, to become his wife. Most of all, she was ready to start their new life together.

  Another day, another Amish wedding. Elisabeth sighed from her seat up front as she watched her brother and Anna marry in the Eshes’ living room. While she was thrilled that Anna was becoming her sister-in-law, this was the fifth wedding she’d attended since November, and she was getting a little tired of them. Especially when she could no longer observe a wedding, or even see a couple together, without thinking of Aaron.

  She’d spent the past few days helping her family get ready for the wedding, so she hadn’t seen him since they’d had their fight. But just because Aaron was out of sight didn’t mean he was out of her mind. In fact, he took up so much space in there, she couldn’t think of anything else.

  Glancing around the room, she saw a sea of familiar faces. But no Aaron. Disappointment threaded through her. He’d said he’d be here, but maybe he’d changed his mind. Hopefully not because of her. She’d hate to think she was the reason he was staying home alone.

  Then again, maybe he wasn’t alone. He might be with his friend Kacey. A fresh wave of envy flowed over her. She frowned. Why couldn’t she stop feeling jealous?

  Because I’m falling in love with him.

  “Elisabeth, stop groaning,” Ruth whispered. “People can hear you.”

  Mortified, Elisabeth sat up straight, determined to focus on her brother’s wedding instead of being so selfish and only thinking of herself. She couldn’t help but smile at the way he looked at Anna during the ceremony. Maybe someday Aaron would look at her the same way.

  Stop it!

  Wedding services lasted about three hours, and when this one was over, Elisabeth was the first to welcome Anna to the family. “I’m so happy for you,” she said, hugging her.

  “Danki.” Anna beamed. Then she looked past Elisabeth’s shoulder. “Oh, I’m glad Aaron decided to come.”

  Elisabeth swung around to see Aaron standing a few feet behind her, several people in between them. He was talking to Stephen, his profile to her. She turned back to Anna. “I should let you go. Everyone will want to give you their congratulations.”

  “We’ll talk later.”

  Elisabeth smiled and nodded, then spun around to see Aaron. But he had disappeared. She walked over to Stephen. “Where did Aaron geh?”

  Stephen shrugged. “I don’t know. We only talked for a minute, then he left.”

  She stood on tiptoes, searching for him in the crowd of people. After several minutes she gave up. Maybe he’d gone back to his old habit of leaving as soon as the fellowship started.

  Sighing, she noticed that food was being served. She should go in the kitchen and ask if anyone needed help, but she didn’t feel like doing that. What she really wanted was to be alone. She walked out the back door, unnoticed, then walked toward the shed on the edge of the field behind the house. The grass had started to grow, and she knew by summer it would be past her knees.

  A cool breeze lifted her dress, but the air was welcome. Again they were having another unseasonably warm March day, and she didn’t even need a sweater outside. A taste of spring, although it wouldn’t last long. Soon enough the cold air would return and probably another snowfall or two with it. Ohio weather was always unpredictable. She leaned against the back of the shed, listening to the voices of children running and playing.

  “Elisabeth.”

  At the sound of Aaron’s voice, Elisabeth’s breath caught in her throat. She rolled her head to the side and took him in. His black hat was pushed back on his forehead, revealing a thick section of blond bang. Her cheeks heating, she suddenly turned away.

  “Hi, Aaron.”

  He moved to stand next to her. “What are you doing out here by yourself ?”

  “Nix.”

  “That sounds like something I would say.”

  “You must be rubbing off on me.”

  “I hope not.”

  She was about to correct him when she saw the humor in his eyes. His remark made her lips lift in a half smile. “Are you still mad at me?”

  “I was never mad at you, Elisabeth. I don’t think I ever could be.”

  “I wouldn’t blame you if you were. I was a bit snippy with you the other day.”

  He looked at her. “A bit?”

  “Okay, more than a bit. I shouldn’t have been upset about Kacey.” Elisabeth sighed, letting her head fall back against the shed again.

  He chuckled. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were jealous.”

  Her face heated. “Me, jealous?” She laughed. But it sounded a little too loud, so she stopped and cleared her throat. “I’m not jealous.”

  “Gut.” Aaron pulled a blade of grass from the ground. “Because there’s nothing to be jealous of. Kacey needed someone to talk to, and she came and saw me.”

  “I know that. She came back after you left.”

  Aaron’s face registered surprise. “She did?”

  “Ya. She said to tell you that she’s sorry. And that she wished you the best.”

  “Wow.” Aaron stared straight ahead. “I wouldn’t have expected that of her.”

  “What happened?”

  “Well, as soon as I was arrested, she dropped me completely. No contact at all.” He put the blade between his thumbs and blew. The vibrating blade made a high-pitched whistle.

  “You’re just full of hidden talents, aren’t you?”

  He cast a sideways look. “I like to think so.” He let the blade float to the ground, then he moved to stand in front of Elisabeth. “I just want you to know that I have no intention of getting involved with Kacey or drugs again. I’m not interested in either. And I made a commitment to God and to the church that I’m going to keep.”

  “But what if she drags you back into them again?”

  “She won’t. She says she’s clean now, and hopefully she’ll stay that way. Either way, one of the many things I learned in rehab is that doing drugs
is a choice. Ya, they’re addictive, and when addiction is pulling you under, you feel helpless. But eventually you have to decide how you want to live—at the mercy of drugs or at the mercy of God. I chose God.” He slipped his hands in his pockets. “I don’t think I realized that until a few weeks ago. Those talks we’ve had really set me thinking, and I don’t think I would have figured it out by myself that I wasn’t just running to the Amish to keep from drugs, but I was running to God.”

  She looked up into his eyes, a catch in her throat. She had always thought they were blue, similar to hers, but from this close up she could see they were more of a silvery gray. “I can’t take credit for that, Aaron.”

  He rocked back and forth on his heels. “Demut. That’s a lovely Amish quality you possess, Elisabeth, but sometimes I think you take it too far.”

  “What do you mean?” Amish were supposed to be humble, to think less of themselves than more. How could she possibly screw that up? “Are you saying I’m too humble?”

  Shaking his head, he said, “Nee. Maybe humble isn’t the right word. Sometimes I get the impression you think you don’t measure up.” When she started to protest, he lifted his hand. “The reason I know is because I feel the same way about myself.”

  Lukas and Anna greeted their guests and accepted their congratulations for the next hour. They barely had time to look at each other, much less say anything. But every once in a while he would glance at her in such a way that made her toes curl in her shoes. While she was enjoying visiting with the wedding guests, she couldn’t wait until they were alone.

  When they had a short break in meeting the well-wishers, Lukas spoke. “I need a drink. Do you want anything?”

  She shook her head. “I’m fine.”

  “All right. I’ll be right back, Mrs. Byler.” He winked, then left to go to the dining room where they were serving food and beverages.

  Edna came up to her, smiling. “Having a gut time?”

  “Ya. Danki for everything, Mami. I know you worked really hard to make this day special.”

  “It was nothing.”

  She was about to speak again when an agonizing pain took her breath away. It felt like she was being slashed with a knife.