Down & Dirty: Linc (Dirty Angels MC Book 9)

by Jeanne St. James

  For their kid.

  Fuck!

  He slammed a palm against the wall when his knees began to buckle. He sucked a sharp breath through his nose, then pressed his forehead to hers. “Gonna get a place. Gonna do this right, Jayde. Swear we’re gonna do it right. Gotta do it right.”

  Her hands cupped his cheeks and she kept his forehead pinned to hers. “Are you sure?” Her voice sounded thick, like she was crying.

  “Yeah. Never been so sure ‘bout anything in my life, baby. Never. I knew this club was for me. And the fuckin’ moment I saw you swinging those hips across that room, knew you were fuckin’ mine. Did my damnedest not to do you wrong. Fucked that up, but gonna make it right.”

  “So you keep saying.”

  “Promising you...”

  “Okay,” she said softly. “But...”

  He lifted his head. “But what?”

  “How are we going to tell my dad?”

  Fuck.

  Chapter Six

  Linc rolled over with a groan, his hand automatically going under the sheet to scratch his balls. Then he heard whatever it was that woke him the fuck up again. The muffled ring of his cell phone was coming from the floor.

  He rolled some more and found his jeans next to the bed where he shucked them just a few hours ago after crawling in between his sheets, exhausted from working a long, busy night at The Iron Horse.

  “Fuck,” he muttered when he saw that it was Jayde blowing up his phone. He’d somehow slept through three phone calls from her. He slid his finger across the screen, and sitting up, he pressed it to his ear.

  “Hey,” he croaked, his voice rough with sleep.

  “Linc...” She sounded like she was crying.

  Linc’s spine snapped straight and every nerve in his body went on high alert. “What’s wrong?”

  “Linc...” she said again and, fuck, followed it up with a big sob.

  He pushed the tangled sheet off his lap and climbed out of bed. “What? What’s going on?”

  “They can’t find it.”

  What the fuck was she talking about? “Find what?”

  “The baby’s heartbeat.”

  “What?” he yelled into the phone, his heart pounding. “Where the fuck are you?”

  Her voice shook as she said, “At the doctor’s. I had my first appointment.”

  “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? I woulda taken you!”

  She sniffled into the phone. “I didn’t think you’d want to come.”

  What the fuck?

  “And there’s no baby?”

  “I don’t know. They couldn’t find the heartbeat. They said I’m definitely pregnant, but... but...”

  Linc scrubbed a hand over his hair and dropped his head to stare at his bare feet. He didn’t know what to say. “Jayde... I...”

  “They want me to go over to another imagining center because they can’t squeeze me in here today.”

  His brows furrowed in confusion. “For what?”

  “An ultrasound.”

  “Where?”

  “In Baldwin.”

  “Jesus. That far?”

  “Yeah, I... I need you to come with me. I’d ask my mom, but...”

  Right, they still didn’t know. They were waiting to drop that bomb once they had a place lined up.

  Linc blew out a breath. “Yeah, yeah. Of course. I’m gonna take you. I shoulda been there, Jayde. Shoulda told me.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. I know you don’t want—”

  “Jayde!” he yelled into the phone, cutting off whatever she was going to say next. Because he didn’t want to hear it. “Gonna come get you.”

  “No. They can’t get me in for another two hours. I’ll go home first. I need to drink a bunch of water.”

  “Ain’t picking you up at your pop’s place,” he growled. Jesus. He’d probably be shot on sight.

  She was silent for a moment.

  “Jayde, meet me downstairs at church. Gotta shower. Gotta wake up. Need to get some coffee in me. Then we’ll go. Yeah?”

  “Yeah,” she whispered into the phone. “Linc...”

  “No, don’t even think like that. Everything’s gonna be okay. Got me?”

  “Linc...”

  He softened his voice and tried to remain calm. “Everything’s gonna be okay, baby. I promise.”

  Again, silence on the other end of the phone.

  His stomach churned. “Baby, listen to me, I promise. Just get here as soon as you can.”

  He pulled the phone away from his ear to see she had disconnected. He whipped the phone onto the bed as hard as he could and screamed, “Fuck!” to the ceiling.

  He just made another fucking mistake by promising her something he didn’t have any control over.

  The ultrasound technician entered the room, flipped off the lights and moved toward the bed where Jayde had her pants pulled down slightly and a sheet tucked into her waistband. She had her shirt pulled up and her tummy exposed.

  She was trying not to cry. She didn’t want to start because if she did, it was going to get ugly with a whole bunch of blubbering and snot bubbles. Linc was squeezing her hand so tightly that she was trying to use his strength to keep herself together.

  Linc promised that everything was going to be okay, so she had to believe that it would be.

  And besides his hand, that’s all she had to hang on to.

  “So, the doctor said he had a bit of a difficult time finding your baby’s heartbeat.”

  Jayde couldn’t even answer the tech, because her jaws felt as if they were fused together.

  The woman turned on the machine next to the bed and began to squirt some warm gel onto Jayde’s belly. “Let me take a quick look-see and then I’ll turn on the TV up on the wall, so you can see what I’m seeing. Sound good?”

  Linc jerked her hand in response. “No. Turn it on now. Need to see.”

  The tech froze, and her wide-eyed gaze landed on Linc. “But—”

  “Turn it on,” he growled.

  Jayde squeezed his fingers. “Please. Let him watch. We’re worried.”

  The tech stared at Jayde for a moment, then nodded. “Fine.” She went over, switched on the large screen and came back to the ultrasound machine and picked up the wand. “Okay, let me take a peek.”

  Jayde closed her eyes as the tech rolled the wand over her stomach, pressing, circling for what seemed like forever without saying a word. Every time the woman moved it around it didn’t help her full bladder, which felt as though it was about to burst.

  “Okay, yes, I see something. Right there. See that, Dad?”

  Jayde heard no response from Linc. She opened her eyes and turned her head toward the screen. The one that Linc was staring at intently, his nostrils flaring.

  “That’s our baby,” Jayde whispered, tears making her sight blurry as they welled up.

  “Sure is. From what I can see, the baby is viable. It’s too early to tell what sex the baby is, but let’s find the heartbeat.”

  A few moments later, a wishy-washy sound, along with a strong steady heartbeat filled the room. Relief swept through Jayde as she continued to stare at the screen of the child she and Linc made together. She listened in awe to the thump, thump, thump of their baby’s heart beating strongly.

  “I’d say you’re only about eleven weeks, right? Sometimes the heartbeat is hard to pick up on the Doppler in a doctor’s office at that stage. But everything sounds and looks fine to me at this point. Only twenty-nine weeks to go!” She laughed lightly. “I promise it’ll go fast. And next thing you know, you’ll have a newborn in your arms.”

  Jayde blinked at that last part. She tried to picture herself with an infant. With the child she was seeing on that big screen in her arms.

  Suddenly, everything seemed so real. This was really happening. They were actually having a child in twenty-nine weeks!

  “I’m scared,” Jayde whispered.

  “Me, too,” Linc answered back, still staring at the screen
. She hadn’t even realized she said that out loud until he answered.

  “I’m sure you two will be fine.” The tech had shut off the machine, patted her shoulder and then held out something to her.

  “What’s that?” she asked the tech.

  “The images for you to keep.”

  Linc’s head swung around at her words, since the TV had gone black and he stared at what Jayde clutched in her hand. “It’s what?”

  “Pictures,” Jayde answered, lifting them. He released her hand and snagged them from her fingers.

  “Of what?”

  Jayde’s lips twitched. “The baby.”

  His brows furrowed as he stared at the printed-out images in his hands. “Pictures of my son?”

  “Or daughter,” the tech said as she finished putting things away. “You can sit up and get dressed. I cleaned you off as best as I could with the towel, but here are some wipes if you need them.” She tilted her head toward another door. “Restroom’s there, because I’m sure that you need that, too.”

  She certainly did. She had drunk a ton of water. And the vibrations of Linc’s sled didn’t help with her full bladder on the trip over.

  “You can find your way out?” The tech asked as she stared at Linc, still mesmerized by the sonogram images in his hands.

  “Yes,” Jayde said to her with a smile. She swiped at her cheek to remove the stray tear that had escaped. “Thank you for squeezing us in.”

  “You’re very welcome.” The tech patted her knee. “I’m happy for you two.” On her way out of the room, she turned the lights back on.

  “Are you okay?” Jayde asked Linc when he didn’t say anything for the longest time.

  He slowly lifted his gaze to meet hers. “Yeah,” he said so softly that she almost couldn’t hear it.

  “I was so worried.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Everything’s good now.”

  “Yeah, baby. Everything’s just fuckin’ great.” And with that he crushed his lips to hers.

  They were on a “date.” An actual date. Or at least, that’s what Linc was calling it. After tucking one of the sonogram images into his wallet, the rest into her small backpack, and after she relieved her screaming bladder, they’d headed out of Baldwin and back towards Shadow Valley on his sled.

  Linc got one of the prospects to cover his shift at the bar so he could take her to dinner. They found a little diner off the beaten path, which had great homemade food. Once her stomach was full, they headed out again on a long ride while the sun started to set.

  It felt great to wrap her arms around Linc, press her cheek into his cut and hold him tight. The child she was scared she lost earlier in the day tucked between them. On the straightaways, Linc drove his bike with one hand on the throttle and one hand on her thigh, his fingers squeezing it every once in a while.

  She loved being on the back of Linc’s bike, she loved hanging on to him. She felt safe with him. It was shocking to think she felt just as safe with the biker in front of her as she did with her police office father and brother. Maybe more.

  Once the sun was just about down, he pulled into a parking lot of a small store in Shadow Valley, one she had never paid attention to before. Mostly because she never had a reason.

  Mommy and Munchkin.

  Even though it was getting dark out, the lights still burned bright through the storefront.

  He shut down his sled, kicked the stand down and assisted her off the bike.

  “Why are we here? It’s late, Linc. They’re probably ready to close.”

  “Called ‘em when you were in the bathroom at the diner. Asked the owner if he could stay for a little bit.”

  Jayde arched a brow. “Really?”

  “Yeah. Said it was important.”

  Jayde rolled her eyes. “You heard what the tech said, we have twenty-nine weeks to do things like this. There was no reason to make them stay late.”

  Linc shrugged then dismounted, wrapping his arm over her shoulders. He leaned down and pressed his lips to her temple. “Baby, he didn’t mind when I told him we’re having our first kid.”

  First kid.

  She opened her mouth, but nothing escaped. Without waiting for her response, Linc was steering her through the front door anyway.

  The owner greeted them immediately and gave them his congratulations.

  “You said you need a crib.” He swept his hand toward one corner of the locally owned baby store. “As you see we have a nice selection. We even have a few used cribs, if you’re interested.”

  Cribs? Her head twisted toward Linc. “We’re here for a crib? Already? Linc...”

  Linc squeeze her shoulders, ignoring her surprise. “Want the safest one you got,” he told the older gentleman. “Don’t care how much it is, as long as it’s safe. You said you got lay-away, right?”

  The owner’s smile widened. “We do. That’s not a problem. And once it’s paid for, we even deliver it and set it up for you.”

  Linc gave him a nod.

  “We don’t even have a place yet,” Jayde murmured. They certainly couldn’t set it up in Linc’s room above church, and a crib being delivered to her parents’ house would be a huge red flag.

  Huge.

  The shop owner turned his warm brown eyes on her. “That’s not a problem. We can hold it until you’re ready. We try to accommodate everyone as best as we can. We really appreciate it when folks shop local instead of at the big box stores. Come this way.”

  Linc dropped his arms from her shoulders and reached for his wallet. While Jayde stood in place, Linc walked with the man toward the display of cribs. She blinked as she watched him pull out the sonogram image from where he tucked it away to show the owner, who patted him on the back and congratulated him again.

  She shook herself mentally and wandered over to where they were talking. She was in no rush, though, since it sounded like Linc was asking all the right questions.

  But as she headed in that direction, her heart began to race, and a little bit of panic began to set in.

  Hearing the heartbeat, seeing the baby on the monitor, the sonogram pictures, and now the crib...

  Holy shit, she was going to become someone’s mother.

  She was going to be responsible for another human being.

  Their lives would never be the same again.

  Chapter Seven

  “Grandchildren are such a blessing,” April said in a sing-song voice as she carried Zeke around the dinner table over to Mitch.

  Jayde watched her father’s expression, which was already closed off, turn darker, as he stared at his grandson.

  Zak sat at the other end of the table, his jaw tight, his expression just as hard.

  This was not going well. At all.

  Whoever thought this was a good idea needed to be slapped. She turned her head toward Axel and lifted her brows at him, giving him a good-fucking-job-asshole look.

  Axel shot her a frown and then ignored her, turning his gaze back to their brooding father.

  Clearly, Mitch Jamison was never going to accept having a biker in his family. At least one that wasn’t a Blue Avenger like him and Axel, the law enforcement MC they belonged to. But a non-cop MC? Never.

  If he couldn’t soften up and accept Z, his own son, back into his life, how was he ever going to accept Linc?

  He wasn’t.

  Jayde flattened a hand against her belly as it churned. Having this dinner was a complete mistake. It was only going to make things worse.

  Her gaze bounced from one uneaten plate to the next. No one at that table ate more than a forkful of her mother’s to-die-for meatloaf and creamy smashed potatoes with her famous brown gravy. Food that normally would have been scarfed down in seconds.

  Her father’s chair legs squealed as he pushed away from the table with a shove, but before he could stand, her mother plopped Baby Z right into his lap. He had no choice but to grab Zeke, or the kid would’ve tumbled to the ground. Facing his grandfather with hi
s feet planted on his thighs, Zeke fell forward with a happy squeal and wrapped his arms tightly around her father’s neck. “Pop-pop!”

  What?

  Around the table, everyone froze. Her dad had spent zero time with Zeke since he was born. How did the baby even know who he was or what to call him?

  All eyes turned to Sophie who was sitting quietly to Zak’s right, a small smile curving her lips as she stared down at her plate.

  Jayde’s gaze slid back to her father, who was staring at Zeke, their faces inches apart. If her father broke down right then and there, Jayde was going to curl up under the table and start bawling.

  Her dad cleared his throat. Then cleared it even harder the second time and said, “That’s right... I’m your pop-pop, Zeke.”

  “Zee!” Baby Z screamed, then laughed. And without warning gave his pop-pop a big sloppy kiss on the chin.

  Her father cleared his throat again and closed his eyes, avoiding them all.

  Jayde glanced at Axel, who was staring blankly at a spot somewhere over their father’s shoulder. Bella was swiping at her face with her palms. April had her hands over her mouth, a stray tear running down her cheek. Sophie was now watching Zeke in her father-in-law’s arms with a huge, satisfied smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

  Jayde finally turned to smile at Zak.

  Who was gone.

  How the hell did he sneak away from the table without anyone knowing?

  Sophie’s gaze landed on Z’s empty chair and she frowned. She pulled her napkin from her lap, threw it on the table and went to get up.

  Jayde gave her a quick shake of the head and hurried from the table in the only direction Z could have went without anyone noticing.

  The foyer outside the dining room was empty, so she hooked a left and ran up the stairs to the second floor, only to find the hallway empty, too. She rushed down the hall and found her brother in his old room.

  His old room that was now their father’s office. A room that no longer even hinted that it was once Z’s childhood bedroom. As soon as Zak had moved out of the house and into church when he became a prospect, their father threw out everything in that room. Trophies, comic books, action figures, posters, his furniture, any clothes left behind. Anything and everything that had been Zak’s.