Toys and Baby Wishes

by Karen Rose Smith

  Ted Stanley's eyes narrowed as if considering Lexa in a new light. "I must commend you, Ms. Kittredge. You know more about finances than any woman I've ever met."

  She let her lashes flutter down demurely. "Thank you, Mr. Stanley. I read a lot."

  He eyed her legs as she crossed them. "I'm not sure you need a financial planner. You seem to know what you want. There are online trading companies..."

  She had to be careful. He was beginning to get suspicious. "I don't know everything, and I've always believed two heads are better than one."

  "Usually," he replied succinctly, letting his eyes slide again from her head to her toes.

  She didn't like his bold stares but it wouldn't be wise to alienate him. Not until she got what she came for. "I know I'm probably being silly, but being a single woman, I feel I have to prepare for my future. I thought maybe you could give me some hints about IRA's or annuities and which will pay off best in the long term."

  After he had explained two and not mentioned Leisureville, she said, "A few of the senior citizens were telling me about investments in a retirement community."

  His almost black eyes narrowed and he looked at her warily. His answer was suave. "That essentially is a shorter term investment for five to ten years. If you're considering your retirement, you need something different."

  "I see." It was time to end the meeting before she sunk in deeper than she could handle. As she stood, she concluded, "I'll certainly think about everything you've explained." When she reached across his desk and extended her hand, she accidentally dropped her purse and its contents spilled out.

  "Oh, I'm sorry!" She reached for her wallet and stuffed it in. "You know what they say about women carrying everything but the kitchen sink."

  Stanley picked up a mirror and a lipstick and was going to hand them to her, but she opened her purse wide to let him drop them inside. After he did, she extended her hand again and shook his. "Thanks again. I'll get back to you when I decide what I want to do." After a nod and a good-bye, she left his office.

  Once outside, she heaved a sigh of relief. She had his fingerprints. Now all she had to do was send them to Josh's friend. If she didn't see Josh again, she'd have to take care of it herself.

  Lunch held no appeal as she sat at her desk again, trying not to think about Josh, but not doing a very good job of it. She'd pushed a stack of papers from the left side of the desk to the right when her secretary came in and laid a package on her blotter.

  When Joanne went back to her office, Lexa tore off the white bow and unwrapped the bright blue paper, lifting the lid on the box, wondering who could have sent it. Once in a while a client sent her a thank you box of candy...

  She pulled the tissue back carefully and blinked her eyes. It was a stuffed doll about twelve inches high, with scraggly bright red hair that stood out like a wild halo. The doll's black eyes were crossed, the mouth drawn in a pout. Lexa picked up the note that was tucked into the doll's overalls.

  Lexa, did I look like this last night? I'm sorry about the temper tantrum. I want to make love to you, but only when you're ready. Can we talk?

  Love, Josh.

  Tears misted in Lexa's eyes as she reached for the phone and dialed the Toy Tank. She gave her name to the person who answered, asked for Josh, and waited without thinking about what she was going to say. "Love, Josh." Could he mean that?

  "Lexa?" Josh's deep baritone rumbled through the wire.

  "Hi, Josh. I...I got the package," she said softly.

  "Well, does he look like me?"

  She laughed. "Not quite."

  "Whew! I'm glad to hear it. When I got home last night and looked in the mirror, that's what I saw."

  "Josh, it wasn't your fault. I should have... I'd like to talk to you tonight."

  "Where would you like to go?"

  "How about my place? I'll make us a late dinner."

  "What can I bring?"

  "Just yourself."

  Lexa settled on a time with Josh and hung up. Now all she had to do was get through the rest of the day, make dinner and figure out exactly how she was going to tell Josh what she had to tell him.

  ***

  Josh gave himself a talking to as he walked up to Lexa's front door. He was experienced enough to know that sex was no good without love and trust. When a man and a woman made love, they were both at their most vulnerable physically and emotionally. Naked bodies released naked emotions. Was Lexa afraid to have her emotions released? Was she afraid he wouldn't love Dani's child? Or did she really need more time to decide if he was worth as much if not more time than her crusades?

  He rang Lexa's doorbell deciding he wasn't going to throw away what he and Lexa were building because of a few hormones. A few, huh? He was going to be a gentleman, a perfect gentleman. If it killed him.

  When Lexa opened the door, she looked as vulnerable as he'd ever seen her. Her eyes were wide with questions, with anxiety? What was she so afraid of?

  He didn't want her to be afraid, certainly not of him or what he felt for her.

  She led him inside. "Supper will be ready in a little while. I..."

  "Lexa?"

  She turned and faced him. He approached her slowly. "I'm sorry. I don't want to pressure you. I know you have a lot on your mind, especially the baby."

  She smiled then, so sweetly his stomach practically turned over. "I want us to spend more time together. But I don't know how much my life's going to change. I'm not sure what I should cut out, and what I should keep."

  He stroked her cheek. "Let me be a part of the changes."

  Tears came to her eyes and there was no way he could keep from taking her in his arms. He tried to be gentle and easy. But Lexa's response drove gentle and easy from his mind. The kiss became forceful, his tongue demanding, telling her how much he wanted her. She answered the demand with demands of her own. Her hands roamed his back over this sweatshirt restlessly, seeking more intimacy. She arched against him, meeting the thrust of his desire. He was almost gone.

  He pulled away and dragged in some air. "Lexa, I said I don't want to push you, but if we keep this up--"

  Lexa heard what he was saying and she knew she should tell him she couldn't have children. But she loved being in his arms, she loved drowning in his kisses, she needed to be loved. She couldn't give up this one precious time she might never have again. She'd never felt this way about a man and she was afraid she'd lose him.

  Couldn't she have this one night?

  "I want you to make love to me, Josh. I want to make love to you."

  "You're sure?"

  She nodded.

  Josh searched her eyes for a long moment, then swept her into his arms and carried her upstairs.

  When he set her down next to the bed, he couldn't bear to let her go. He wrapped her in his arms and ran his hand down the back of her head. He felt protective--so protective.

  Lexa leaned back and braced her hands on his chest. His heart began thumping faster. "Do you see what you do to me?" he asked.

  She reached for the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head. He helped her and dropped it on the floor. When she ran her hands across his chest, down to his waistband, he shuddered. And when she said, "You do the same thing to me," he reached for the hem of her sweater.

  After pulling it over her head, he combed her hair into place with his fingers. "I love your hair. It's so soft and so natural." His hands cruised down her arms and back up. He unhooked her bra and stared. "Your skin's so white, so delicate. You're as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside, Lexa. I want to touch you and know every part of you."

  Her eyes were wider and darker than he'd ever seen them. "I'm going to please you, Josh. I want to give you what you want."

  "You will, sweetheart. You will."

  Josh's body stirred. She was so sensual and unafraid of her sexuality or his. That in itself was a potent turn-on.

  After they undressed each other, Josh laid a condom packet on the nightsta
nd, threw the covers back and laid down next to Lexa. He slid his fingers under her hair while his thumbs caressed her neck. Softly, like the spring rain kissing the earth, he showered small kisses over her face.

  Lexa was surrounded by Josh's heat, his clean maleness, the blue smoke in his eyes, the cosmic wonder of being in love. There was no past, no future, only now. When he nudged her head towards his, she reached for him, lost in his sensual drugging. She could never be immune to him. His breath kissed her cheek an instant before his lips--warm, demanding, sharing--rested on hers. His tongue flicked across their surface, patiently waiting for her to give him entrance.

  Josh couldn't hold back as his body surged toward Lexa's. His hands seemed to be designed for the curves of her body as his tongue explored the sweet recesses of her mouth. Sparks ricocheted in all directions and pricked through every part of him.

  Lexa linked her arms around Josh as he deepened the kiss. Her heart skipped too many beats to count and heat burned between her thighs. Reality exploded into another dimension where there was love, sensation, union. Lexa's tongue met Josh's with unchecked hunger and she drew him down on top of her. While his mouth plundered and seduced, his hands slid up her leg until he encountered her navel. His thumb drew circles around it, teasing her, testing her, inciting a firestorm of electricity.

  Sliding her hand up his hip, Lexa felt his shiver as if it were hers. Her palm found the small of his back where she played because she discovered it drew from him an erotic response. His weight was heavy on top of her, but a heaviness she welcomed because it sent waves of pleasure brewing inside her. When he moved suggestively, she became bolder, moving her hand between them in search of his manhood.

  Josh shifted to his side and nudged her until she faced him. His lips left hers and cascaded kisses over her cheeks down her neck to her shoulder. His hand wandered to the nest of golden hair to test her readiness. He taunted until a moan erupted from her throat. He asked raspily, "Do you want me as much as I want you?"

  "Yes," she responded breathlessly as her hand enclosed him.

  He stared at her, binding her to him with his eyes. "I have never wanted a woman the way I want you."

  "You're an incredibly sexy man."

  "I need you, Lexa."

  "Show me how much," she whispered.

  His eyes darkened in the mellow glow of the lamp. "I want to prolong this."

  "That doesn't matter, Josh. Just love me and let me love you."

  His fingers quested up and down her back until he wove them through her hair and pressed her head toward his. Kissing her was such a sensual experience. Her kisses lasted, stayed with him, for him to savor when she wasn't near. Her lips were already parted and inviting. He accepted the invitation.

  The tiny pulse at Lexa's throat fluttered. Josh's lips peppered kisses down her throat to her breast where his breath erected her nipple. He rubbed his chin against the bud. When he took the hardened rosy tip into his mouth and rolled it around on his tongue, she felt like a tornado looking for place to spin. Her hands searched through his thick black hair to his scalp and massaged in a rhythmic pattern in keeping with his mouth as he owned the crest of her breast.

  When his tongue flicked out, circling the peak, she arched upward offering him more. "Oh, Josh. That feels so good."

  Lexa needed to show Josh she loved him, to incite in him the same feelings he was inciting in her. She'd decided to take tonight, each precious moment, and live it to its fullest. Because she didn't know what would come after tonight, what would come after he knew...

  She blanked out thoughts of the future and pushed on his shoulder until he received her message. He reached for the condom, slid it on, then laid back. Each of her movements was measured and provocative as she curled on her side next to him. Her knee rubbed his hair-roughened thigh as her fingers sketched playful designs on his chest. She pecked at his shoulder, stopped to gently tug at a nipple and nipped at his tight abdomen with her teeth. Her hands were busy fondling and stroking the velvet landscape that was the most tender.

  "Sweetheart," he rasped. "I can't hold on much longer." She raised her head and with graceful movement, straddled his legs. His hands spanned her slim waist then guided her hips until their bodies fused.

  The heart of Lexa's womanhood tensed, relaxed, tensed again until neither of them could control the fire that was consuming them both. Lexa gloried in each nuance of contact as she watched Josh's eyes. She let him set the rhythm, knowing she could explode at any moment. She moved in counterpoint against him, allowing him to thrust deeper and deeper until they composed their own symphony of light and motion and sound that climaxed to a mighty crescendo in a final blinding crash of symbols. A shower of shudders rippled through her body as she heard Josh's cry of fulfillment seconds after her own.

  ***

  Lexa nestled in the crook of Josh's arm feeling more loved than she'd ever felt. He hadn't said the words, nor had she. But the feeling was there.

  Josh tightened his arm around Lexa and she turned toward him. "The pot roast is going to be overdone."

  "Does it matter?"

  She ran her finger along his cheekbone. "No."

  He passed his hand over her hip. "I hope that was as wonderful for you as it was for me."

  "It was."

  Josh's eyes darkened. "How long do you think we have until the pot roast disintegrates?"

  She rubbed her and over his chest. "How long do we need?"

  His voice was husky. "All night."

  "Josh, would you like to come home with me for Thanksgiving? I don't want to take you away from Clare, but I'd like you to meet Dani. She's going to tell Dad about the baby."

  Josh looked pleased. "I think Clare will understand. She and her housemates are inviting a few friends from the senior center who don't have family nearby." He kissed Lexa's forehead. "I want to be part of your life. I'd like to go home with you."

  "Maybe we can have supper with Clare before we go. I just thought, isn't the Friday after Thanksgiving your busiest day of the year? I was going to stay until Sunday..."

  "I have competent employees and an excellent manager." He tipped up her chin. "You're more important."

  If she hadn't been in love with Josh before, that would have done it. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a long, tender kiss.

  He rolled her over on her back and muttered, "To hell with the pot roast."

  ***

  Lexa headed for a meeting at the senior center, thinking about Josh. She'd told him she'd join him at his apartment after her meeting. Last night had been wonderful, more wonderful than she'd ever dreamed. Josh had used birth control as a matter of course. She could have said something then, she should have, but everything had been so wonderful, she hadn't wanted to spoil it. So she'd decided she'd tell Josh about her sterility after their trip to her home. Meeting Dani and her father would be enough for now.

  Lexa found a seat next to Clare and listened to the agenda for December. She kept checking her watch. Clare nudged her arm. "It's five minutes later than the last time you looked."

  She smiled sheepishly. "Am I that obvious?"

  "Just to me. Do you have a date with Josh?"

  "Um hmm."

  Clare gave her a knowing smile.

  Lexa leaned close to Clare and in a low voice asked, "Does your house feel like a home yet?"

  Clare's blue eyes sparkled like Josh's. "Sure does. It's so nice to sit in the parlor at night and talk with friends who have the same concerns. We like the same music, we've shared the same historical events, we're in no hurry when we play Scrabble because we've stopped rushing. It's a comfortable life."

  "You sound happy."

  "I am. It was the best decision I ever made."

  When Lexa looked at her watch again, Clare thumped her on the shoulder. "Get going, Lexa. There's no reason to stick around here when you want to be elsewhere."

  "I can't. I have to tell everyone something they won't want to hear."

&nb
sp; When the business meeting was over, Lexa was recognized and stood. Heads turned toward her. Her tone was as serious as her expression. "I have reason to believe Mr. Stanley's financial planning might not be the best."

  Seniors who didn't know the man questioned, "Who's he?" But they were shushed by others who wanted to listen. One of the men tapped his cane and called out, "Is he crooked?"

  Lexa answered, "I'm not sure yet. But until I can get more information, I don't think you should invest your money."

  "What if we already did?" a rotund grandmotherly type asked."

  "I think you should stop payment on your checks." At grunts of disapproval and dismay, Lexa offered, "I know that's some trouble and I know Mr. Stanley won't like it, but you've got to protect yourselves. I could be all wrong about this, and I hope I am. If I am, I will personally apologize to Mr. Stanley. But until we discover if he's who he says he is, your money will be safer in your bank."

  "My son-in-law invested money in Leisureville. What should I tell him and my daughter?" Edna Jenkins inquired, her voice shaky.

  "How old is your son-in-law, Edna?" Lexa asked.

  "Twenty-eight."

  That information added more wood to Stanley's pyre. If he had advised Lexa against Leisureville because it wasn't long term, why would he recommend it to Edna's son-in-law? "Tell them the same thing I told you, and if you know anybody else who is going to go to Stanley, tell them to wait until they hear from you."

  The crowd began murmuring loudly. Lexa raised her voice to say, "As soon as I know anything I'll let you know. Because of Thanksgiving, I probably won't hear until next week. Until then, you can send up some prayers and hope I'm wrong."

  As the group continued to mumble and some stood to disperse, Edna motioned to Lexa. She met the older lady in the middle of the aisle.

  Edna said, "I'm scared. I invested five thousand dollars. What if I never see it again? I can't afford to lose it."

  Lexa put her hand on Edna's shoulder. "We'll get to the bottom of this as soon as we can. We can't prove anything yet, so we can't make accusations."