The Long Way Home

by Roslyn Bane

  “No blood?” she muttered.

  “No. Keep your eyes open. Doc, look at me.” He placed an oxygen mask on her, and the cool air flowed across her face. “Keep breathing, doc. Come on. Breathe with me. Watch me.”

  From far away she heard someone call out “How much longer?”

  “Three minutes to wheels down. They need an update.”

  Kris saw his mouth move but heard nothing. She bit down against the pain and closed her eyes. Jostling awakened her and she grabbed the hand that pulled back the bandage. Through blurred vision she recognized David. He looked at her, and she saw the alarm in his eyes.

  “Kris, you’ll be all right. I’ll take care of you.”

  She shook her head, “Pilot.”

  “We’ve got it.” She opened her mouth to speak. He looked down, “Quiet, I know what to do.”

  Then it was dark.

  ***

  Sam became aware of sound, a steady beep in time with her heartbeat, a squeaking wheel as it moved by, the sound of footsteps on the floor. Where am I? My head hurts. Hell, everything aches. I need water. She remained quiet. Everything was dark, subdued, like she was looking through a thick fog. She tried to remember. What had happened? She tried to speak but nothing came out. Someone lifted her arm, warm fingers pressed along her wrist. She tried to turn but pain flashed bright into her head. The quick prick along the inside of her elbow was virtually painless. More footsteps and muffled voices. Finally, she heard a voice close by. “How is she doing?”

  “Vitals are stable. She’s had another unit of blood. Fluids are running now.”

  “Awake yet?”

  “Not yet.”

  I am awake. I am here. Don’t you see? I’m right here. Look at me.

  “Well, let’s take a look.”

  Someone pried open her eyelid, shined a light in it, and allowed the lid to flick closed. The other lid was subjected to the same sequence. Someone was pushing on her legs. Yanking them around. Damn, were they hitting them with hammers? She tried to pull away. Unfamiliar voices sounded confident but urgent, and she tried in vain to follow their conversation.

  “The bandages are off.”

  “Okay, let’s see what we have. Hmm. Okay. Let’s take her in. Get this cleaned up. Get another dose of antibiotics on board. When’s the next flight?”

  “In six hours.”

  “Good, let’s get her out. Where’s Kris?”

  “She’s in the OR already.”

  The voices became softer as footsteps moved away. What the hell is going on? Someone is still here. “Hey, Major. You might be able to hear me. I’m going to give you antibiotics and some more pain medicine. You’re heading home.” The female voice was calm, and Sam sighed. Warmth spread through her arm and the fog thickened until all was silent.

  ***

  Sam awakened with a jerk, and had the feeling that a long time had passed. Where was she? Damn this fog. Her throat hurt. She tried to call for help, but nothing happened. Although she tried again, no sound came out. Something held her down as she tried to sit up. Voices were clearer now, loud, fast, yet not chaotic. English. Many people were moving around. I’m being carried. Footsteps on metal. Straps were placed down over her and pulled snug. Something soft and warm covered her. A blanket?

  “Chief, this is Major Samantha Davies, thirty-one-year-old female, no allergies. Blood type A positive. Right below knee amputation, concussion, fractured ribs, right, four through eight, no pneumothorax. Pain medication on board. Light sedation. Foley is in.”

  Cool air flowed through the mask snugged to her face. More movement surged around her, snaps and clicks, multiple voices, and many conversations. There was the sound of a large door moving, and darkness enveloped her. She recognized the distinctive high-pitched squeal of an aircraft engine starting. There was a deep rumbling around her and then movement. I’m going somewhere.

  Chapter Three

  LANDSTUHL, GERMANY

  SAM WOKE GRADUALLY, A deep ache in her legs. She tried to open her eyes, but they felt gritty. Finally, one eye popped open, and she saw a shadowy figure in dark blue clothing moving nearby. The air held a peculiar odor, and she tried to recall the smell. It took several seconds, and a feeling of unease rippled through her as she recognized the smell of a hospital. The subtle odor of disinfectant lingered. Sam glanced at the brightly lit monitors, their screens filled with numbers which constantly changed. A door stood ajar, and she recognized the sounds of English and German being spoken nearby. The figure moved closer. She was a woman with blonde hair tied up in a bun and wore a single silver bar signifying her rank as a first lieutenant.

  The woman’s eyes widened in surprise. “Hi, Major, it’s good to see you awake. I’m one of your nurses, Lieutenant James. You can call me Emily if you like.”

  “Where am I?” Sam’s words came out raspy, her throat was dry.

  “You’re at Landstuhl, Major.”

  Germany. “How long have I been here?” Sam fidgeted under the blanket, trying to get comfortable. Her ribs hurt and it was painful to draw a deep breath. She had a headache that was getting worse by the minute and trying to outrace the crushing molten lava pain in her legs. She kicked trying to get more comfortable. The pain eased up in her left, but her right foot continued to throb and was becoming excruciating. She wiggled her legs, felt the sheet rub across her feet, irritating them more.

  “Almost two days, ma’am. You will be heading back to the States tomorrow.”

  Two days? “Back to the States? Why?”

  A warm hand picked up hers and pressed into her wrist. A soothing voice, spoke softly to her, “You were injured, ma’am. You’re on your way home. Can you see me all right?”

  “Little blurry. What happened?” Before the nurse could answer, the door opened, and a lanky, dark-skinned man dressed in scrubs arrived. His bald head reflected the light, distracting her momentarily. “Good morning, Major. It’s nice to see you’re awake.”

  “Morning, sir.” She croaked out, her voice gravelly.

  He pulled a chair over to the bed and sat down, “I wanted to talk to you about your injuries. Can I bring the bed up some?”

  Sam nodded and groaned quietly as the bed moved her into a semi-reclined position.

  “How’s your pain level?”

  She bit down hard, struggling to swallow against the dryness in her mouth. “It’s bad.”

  “Major, let me tell you the rules here.” His eyes that were so dark brown they nearly concealed his pupils. Subtle wrinkles marked the corners of his eyes. “When you’re in pain you say something so you get the right amount of medicine. You will recover faster if your pain is controlled. You won’t be completely pain-free, but our goal is to keep the level manageable.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Where do you hurt?”

  “Head, neck, ribs. Legs hurt. Bad. Hurt like hell.” She bit her lip and grimaced against the pain that continued to expand like a balloon filling with air.

  “Major, do you remember what happened?”

  “Helo crashed. Leg is busted.” She stared at the wall trying to remember. “I was trapped.” She stared at him for several seconds, her heart started to thud, and she squeezed her eyes tight against sudden tears. “Some of my crew didn’t make it.”

  “That’s right. You lost some of your crew. Do you remember anything else?”

  Sam sat quietly for a few moments trying to recall the events. “There was an attack. Jakes, Martinez. Two, maybe three times.” Her heart started to race, and the beep of a monitor momentarily distracted her. Sweat rose on her neck and back. She rubbed her palms on the blanket and looked down at her legs. She closed her eyes, picturing the helicopter.

  “That’s right, there were some skirmishes, and you were trapped. How did you get out?”

  Sam stared at the wall and shook her head. “I don’t know.”

  He placed his hand over hers and lowered his voice. “Your helicopter crashed and you were seriously injured. Your rig
ht leg was trapped and injured.”

  Her stomach tightened, “I broke it. It hurt too much to move it.”

  He picked up her hand and gave it a squeeze, “There was severe bleeding, extensive tissue damage. I’m sorry, but you lost your leg.”

  Sam jolted in bed, trying to sit up as her body went on alert. Her heart pounded, and blood rushed to her head. The light brightened in the room as her pulse throbbed in her ears. Her skin was damp with sweat. “No!” She tried to sit up, but collapsed with the effort. She looked at the blanket covering her legs. “Broken that’s all.” She was lightheaded, and the room started to spin.

  He squeezed her hand firmly, “No, Major. It was badly damaged and trapped. You’ve had three surgeries. The first was at the field hospital, and you’ve had two more here. We’ve been cleaning out the wounds, taking out the damaged tissue. You’re heading home tomorrow. You’ll be going to Bethesda. It’s possible you’ll need more surgery there.”

  “No. You’re wrong. I can feel them! My feet are there. Right there.” She pointed at her legs and kicked. But the blanket only moved a little. She deliberately wiggled her left foot, watching the blanket move. She repeated the action with the right foot but nothing happened. Pain exploded in her right foot, but the blanket didn’t move. Nausea roiled up, as her gut clenched. She shook her head in denial. “It hurts. I can feel it.”

  “Major, I am going to lower the blanket so you can see. What you’re experiencing is phantom pain. The nerves are firing, and your brain is trying to figure out what is going on. It’s normal for you to experience this.”

  She shook her head, “No, it’s there.”

  The doctor spoke calmly, “Major, you have a below knee amputation. You’ve lost your leg at about mid-shin.”

  Her headache exploded as she violently shook her head. “No.”

  “Your leg is bandaged. Do you want to see?”

  Staring at the wall, she tried to push up, and gasped as pain exploded in her chest.

  “Careful. You have four broken ribs.”

  “Up.” Her voice was too high. “Up, let me up.”

  “You want the bed up more? Let me help you. Are you ready?”

  Sam looked at him and realized he was serious. With her heart pounding in her chest so hard it hurt, she took a deep breath that caused the pain in her chest to flare. She let it out slowly, stared into his dark brown eyes for several seconds and nodded. She looked down. Holy fuck. No, no, no. Her thigh was swollen, and heavily wrapped with bandages that spiraled down over her knee, before stopping abruptly. There was nothing left. Her leg ended at the shin. Her right foot throbbed, pulsing with pain, like some crazy, sick magic trick even though her foot and lower half of her shin were gone.

  She looked up in a panic, opened her mouth to say something and started to dry heave. Her upper body shook as contractions racked her body. Sweat beaded on her skin and trickled down her face in front of her ears. Oh fuck. What am I going to do? What? How? Oh, my God. I can’t walk. Or drive. The doctor’s voice carried through the chaos of her thoughts but didn’t register. After several minutes, she became aware of him still speaking calmly, “We’re going to keep you here another day. Tomorrow you head for Bethesda. You’re going home, Major.”

  She lay motionless, staring at the wall as the doctor and nurse got her situated under the covers. “I’m going to give you something else for the pain. Get some rest. I’ll be back later, and we can talk some more. Your family has been notified, and they have been getting updates daily. Perhaps later, after we meet again, you would like to call your family. I’m sure they would love to hear your voice.”

  Sam watched as the nurse mixed the medicine into her IV line. Almost instantly darkness closed in.

  ***

  Kris awakened slowly, her eyes heavy, the room was blurry. The smells and sounds of a hospital were similar but somehow different. The room was modern and brightly lit. It wasn’t an open bay like the field hospital. She watched a monitor as it recorded the vital signs. Heart rate and breathing were a little slow. Blood pressure slightly elevated. Temperature good. Distractedly she looked for the patient, but she saw no bed or patient. This isn’t right. Think, think. Kris shook her head from side to side and grimaced. Her vision wasn’t clear. Lifting her arm to rub her eyes, pain flew into her chest, and she hissed against the discomfort. Oh God! I am the patient! Where am I? What happened?

  Voices around her, “Doctor Matthews, Kris, you’re waking up. You’re in Landstuhl. Can you hear me?”

  One voice among several was familiar. Who? Landstuhl? Struggling to focus she squeezed her eyes shut several times. There was pain. Pain everywhere, gnawing, creeping around the edges of awareness. “Kris, do you hear me? Look at me.”

  She looked toward the voice, struggled to focus, and recognized her old roommate from medical school and her first lover. “Vicki?” Her voice was weak and scratchy. Her mouth and throat were dry. “Where?”

  “You’re in Germany, Kris. At Landstuhl. You’ve been here for four days.”

  “Ger…? Why?” Kris shook her head slightly. Afghanistan. Field hospital. “How?”

  “Kris, you were hurt. You took a hit to your shoulder and chest. Do you understand me?”

  “Chest…hurts.” she gasped. She tried to reach for her chest, but her arm didn’t move.

  “Kris, listen to me. You had a chest injury. Your lung collapsed. There’s a wet seal in. You have a wound vac on too.”

  She bit at her lip and stared at Vicki silently. Wet seal? Wound vac? Germany?

  “Kris, do you understand?”

  She shook her head and whispered, “No.”

  “You have a wet seal in. You are going to need the chest tube and suction for a few more days. Do you understand what I am saying?”

  Kris lay still, wincing against the pain, after a few seconds she nodded as she envisioned the two tubes leading into her chest and pulling out blood and fluids. “Why?”

  “You were hit.” The bed was moved into a sitting position, and the nurse helped Kris sit up. Kris gasped with the pain. “Easy, let us support you.” The cool stethoscope pressed against her side and back and she did her best to breathe despite the pain in her chest. Deep and stabbing, it tugged painfully all the way to her shoulder.

  “Your lungs sound good. How is your pain level? Do you need something for pain?”

  Kris nodded and tried to swallow. “Yes. Thirsty.”

  Vicki adjusted the medication running through the IV, “Here is a little more. Try to relax.” She turned slightly and spoke to the nurse. “Lieutenant, can you bring some water in?” She motioned for the nurse to go and waited until the door closed. “Your parents were notified. And Shelly. They haven’t been updated since yesterday. Do you want me to call them and update them personally or do you want the official call through the command?”

  “You. They trust you.” Kris reached for her chest. “What happened?”

  “Tell me what you remember.”

  “I left the hospital, going to my quarters. Woke up here.” Kris saw concern pass over her friend’s face. “What hap…”

  She quieted as the nurse returned with a water pitcher, and watched as the nurse poured water into a pink plastic tumbler and soaked sponge swabs in the water. The nurse placed one in her mouth so she could suck the water out. Cool, fresh water spread over her dry tongue and mouth. It vanished before hitting the back of her throat, and she reached for more. “Take it easy. Nice and slow. Let’s see how you do.” She accepted the swab sticks, sucking greedily for the few drops of water.

  “What happened?” But even as Vicki started to talk Kris’ eyes grew heavy, and she drifted back to sleep.

  Chapter Four

  BETHESDA, MARYLAND

  SAM LOOKED AROUND THE unfamiliar surroundings. The room was sparsely decorated, with a two-drawer cabinet, a chair, a stool, and on the far wall hung a television. The second hand on a face clock ticked audibly. Several monitors and an IV pole were nearby, sta
nding guard. A soft, steady beep, kept time with the rhythm of her heart. There was a surprising amount of open floor space. A door stood open which led to a bathroom. Hospital. I was going home. Lifting her arm, she followed the tubing down from the largest bag of fluid, until it joined with an orange topped needle and disappeared into her hand.

  The bed rails were pulled up, keeping her from rolling out of bed. She read the buttons and raised the head of the bed, pain grabbing at her ribs. Stopping the bed movement, she pulled the blanket down and peaked inside her gown. Deep purple and blue ran along her ribcage and around her side as far as she could see. “Damn, I’m glad that doesn’t hurt as bad as it looks. They didn’t send me home for that. Did they?” She let her gown drop back into place, “Something’s not right.”

  She sat quietly trying to remember something, anything. Think Sam. What are you forgetting? Why does my foot keep itching? She reached down to scratch her leg and remembered. My God. My leg, part of my leg is gone. Her chest tightened and sweat formed on her forehead. Her muscles tensed until air burst from her lungs. Shaking uncontrollably, she jerked up to a sitting position, ignoring the grinding in her side, and tried to lower the rails. An alarm sounded, something tugged at her chest, and pulled at her skin.

  The door burst open, and Sam looked up in surprise. “Stop. Major, get back in bed. Come on, lean back. Let me get you settled.” Warm hands gently pressed her back until she was lying down.

  “I want to sit. Let me up.” She panted.

  “Shh. It’s okay. You’ll be all right. Relax, slow down your breathing. Look at me, Major. Breathe in slow, through your nose. Hold it. Out through your mouth and nose. A little slower. Come on, with me.”

  Her muscles slowly relaxed and the beeping grew slower. Sam swallowed hard before croaking out, “Where am I?”

  “Bethesda, ma’am.” The nurse looked at the EKG monitor, pressed a button silencing the alarm. “Let me look, Major, I think you pulled off one of your leads.” Sam sat still as the nurse opened her gown. “You did. Two of them are loose, let me put new pads on.”