Fighting with Shadows

by Beryl Matthews

  That would not happen. After what he had seen yesterday, with Danny clinging to her as if his life depended upon her, he could never take him away from her, but he would not be shut out of Danny’s life. He thought she was wrong to insist that they do not tell him yet. It might help to make the boy feel more secure. In his opinion it would have been more sensible to explain who he was as soon as he had arrived from Germany, but Angie was adamant that it was to be done her way. He was under no illusions about her character. She was strong, determined, and he suspected that her only vulnerability was the child.

  Dieter jumped down and closed the gate behind him, standing for a moment drinking in the tranquil scene of sheep grazing, but it did nothing to ease his turmoil. What would happen when they did tell him? Danny would expect him to live with them, as all fathers should. That could not happen, of course. As far as he was concerned, he did not mind what the villagers thought, but Angie would. One thing was certain, though: he was determined to have a hand in bringing up his own son, and if that meant a fight with Angie to exert his rights as a father, then so be it. He had been overjoyed to find that Danny had inherited his love of music. The talent came from his mother’s side of the family. How his mother would have loved her grandson, and his darling sister would have spoilt him at every opportunity. It was devastating to know he was never going to see them again. He remembered Danny’s words again, and when he thought of Jane and his family with the angels it did ease the pain a little. Angie had shown wisdom when she had told the distressed child that.

  Getting back on the tractor, he drove into the yard, parking the vehicle and jumping down. He wandered over to the pigs. Cleaning them out was not his favourite job, but it had to be done.

  The next time he managed to see Angie on her own he must tell her that he intended to support them. He had only his wages from the farm work, but he would try to find another way to make some money. If he was in London or somewhere like that, he would have little trouble earning money playing piano, but nothing was going to make him leave this village.

  He clenched his jaw. Danny was going to have a better life than he’d had. If he wanted to play piano for a living, he would make sure the child had the best training available. His talent was not going to be stifled, as his had been. And he prayed the world had learnt its lesson so that the youngsters of today would not be called upon to kill, or to spend years as prisoners.

  John looked over the fence. ‘I’ve collected Hetty from Angie’s and she’s cooking lunch. Ready in half an hour.’

  ‘Right. I’ve finished here so that will give me time to wash and change.’ He wrinkled his nose. ‘Not the kind of smell to bring to the meal table.’

  With a wave of his hand, John walked away, grinning.

  Dieter was ready for lunch within the half an hour. He was already beginning to put on some weight, and feel so much better since he’d been eating regular meals.

  ‘Ah, there you are.’ Hetty smiled as he walked into the large farmhouse kitchen. ‘Hope you don’t mind a simple lunch today. I haven’t had time for much, but I’ve got a nice apple pie for afters.’

  Dieter watched as she ladled a rich vegetable stew and dumplings into a bowl and put two large chunks of home-made bread on his plate. He spoke softly, remembering the shortages in Germany. ‘Please do not apologize, Mrs Sawyer. This would be several days’ rations in Germany.’

  Hetty shook her head. ‘It’s terrible. And that awful blockade of Berlin by the Russians must have been dreadful. Thank heavens that’s over now. After you left us we were so worried about you. We could have helped if we’d known where you were.’

  Dieter gave a wry grin. ‘The Major soon sorted me out with clothes and food. I also received a sharp lecture on how I should stop drifting and come back here. Pull myself together, I think you say in English? I objected to his attitude and we had a big argument. But he was right.’

  John helped himself to more stew. ‘He wanted to tell you about Danny and Jane, but we swore him to secrecy. We thought it would be better if you came back because you wanted to, and then we would break the news to you gently.’

  ‘We never got the chance, though, because the first person you saw when you arrived was Danny.’ Hetty refilled Dieter’s plate and gave him more bread. ‘That wasn’t how we planned it. We were disappointed when Bob wrote and said you were coming to this country to look for your sister, but that it was unlikely you would come to see us. This is where you belong, Dieter.’

  ‘That is true, and I shall now make this country my home. When I discovered that the girl in York was not my sister, I did not know what to do, but I couldn’t go back to the life I was leading in Berlin. Then I remembered your kindness and how lovely it was here.’

  ‘It must have been a terrible disappointment to find that she wasn’t your sister, but now you have found your lovely son.’ Hetty smiled fondly at him.

  ‘Danny will soon grow to love you. You’ve made good progress with him already, and little Emma also likes you. Did you say you were going to fix the hedge for the children?’ John’s grin spread. ‘Emma’s always got a bit of it on her somewhere.’

  ‘I’ll do it tomorrow during my lunch break.’

  ‘There’s no need for that, Dieter.’ Hetty was shaking her head. ‘I won’t hear of your missing a meal.’

  ‘Go to Angie’s after lunch today. There’s some spare wood in the barn you can use for a gate.’ John nodded to Hetty as she put a slice of apple pie in front of him.

  ‘I’m sure you’re anxious to see if Danny has fully recovered.’

  Dieter was touched by their kindness and understanding. ‘Has Angie ever told you what she had to deal with after Jane died?’

  ‘A little, but I suspect she’s held a lot back.’ Hetty put the kettle on to make tea. ‘But seeing the state Danny was in yesterday made me realize she’s had a very difficult time.’

  Dieter nodded. ‘I thought that also. She is very protective, but she is going to have to let me into his life.’

  ‘She will, just give it time.’ John stood up. ‘I’m off to mend a couple of broken fences this afternoon.’

  ‘Can I help?’ Dieter followed John out to the yard.

  ‘No, I can manage. Make the gate and get it fixed up. You can take the truck.’

  ‘Thank you, Mr Sawyer.’

  It didn’t take Dieter long, and it was only two o’clock when he loaded the gate and his tools into the truck and headed for the village.

  Angie opened the front door as he walked towards it. ‘I saw you arrive. Danny’s next door with Emma.’

  ‘I’ve come to fix the hedge. Mr Sawyer has given me time off to do it today. Is the side gate open?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Good. I will take my tools round to the garden that way.’ He returned to the truck, unloaded it and carried everything round the back.

  Angie met him in the garden and examined the gate admiringly. ‘The children will be thrilled with that.’

  He smiled at her praise. He had taken a great deal of trouble building it, even carving both their names on the top, Danny’s on one side and Emma’s on the other. As they were alone, he decided that this would be a good time to talk about Danny’s upkeep. He propped the gate up against the hedge and turned to face her.

  ‘I wish to support you and Danny. Please tell me how much to give you each week.’

  ‘That won’t be necessary.’ Angie gaped in surprise. ‘We’re managing.’

  ‘That is hardly the point.’ He could tell from her face that this was not something she wanted to do, but he would not give in. ‘Danny is my son and it is right that I should do this.’

  ‘I don’t want to take your money. I know you arrived here with nothing.’

  ‘The only thing I need is to be a part of my son’s life.’ He gave a dismissive wave of his hand. ‘Nothing else is important to me.’

  Angie held his gaze with determination. ‘I can understand how you feel, but I will not leave you with
nothing. Perhaps when you are more settled, we can talk about this again.’

  ‘No. We will settle this now, Angie. I insist on helping to support Danny.’ He placed his feet apart and stood firmly, determined not to give way on this point. She said she didn’t want to take what little money he had, but he believed it was more than that. Angie Westwood was trying to keep him at a distance, and she would not be able to do that if she took money from him. But he was here and he was Danny’s father, and that was something she would have to accept.

  ‘I see.’ She chewed her lip, holding his gaze. ‘Danny would like two piano lessons a week instead of one, and he is growing so fast clothes need replacing often. I would appreciate your helping with those things, but I cannot allow you to support me as well.’

  Dieter nodded. It was a small concession, but it was a start. ‘As you wish. I shall pay Mrs Poulton for the lessons and when Danny needs clothes we shall buy them together.’

  He could see that she was not happy about this suggestion, but he would not give too much ground. ‘Does he urgently need anything now?’

  ‘Well, yes, shoes. The ones he’s wearing are a little too small now.’

  ‘Then he must definitely have new. We shall all go to Bridgewater on Saturday to buy them. I shall collect you at ten o’clock. Now I must fix the hedge.’ He picked up the gate and walked away, not giving her a chance to object. She was going to find that he could also be determined and stubborn.

  For the next hour Dieter worked steadily until he had cut an elegant archway in the hedge, and the gate opened and closed smoothly. He was just packing up the tools when the children erupted out of Sally’s back door.

  ‘Deeder,’ Emma shouted. ‘What a smashing gate.’

  Danny beat her to him, his face glowing with pleasure. ‘Yippee! We won’t have to crawl through the mud any more.’

  ‘Oh, no.’ Emma was clearly disappointed at that thought, but she was soon bouncing again. ‘Can you give us a push on the swing?’

  ‘Of course. Who is to be first?’

  ‘Me, me,’ they both cried.

  Dieter winked at Danny. ‘Ladies first, I think, don’t you?’

  Danny giggled. ‘Her mum says Em doesn’t know how to be a lady.’

  ‘We will pretend she is, shall we?’ Dieter spoke softly as they enjoyed the joke, and when he looked down at the little face gazing up at him, he almost wept with joy. Oh, Jane, his heart whispered, you have given me a wonderful son. How sad you will not see him grow to be a man, but I shall, and I thank you for that with all my heart.

  He pulled his thoughts back to the children as they enjoyed themselves. ‘What a lovely swing,’ he said, as Danny clambered on for his turn.

  ‘Uncle Bob did it for us,’ Danny shouted, as he was swung high into the air.

  ‘Who is Uncle Bob?’ Dieter was puzzled.

  ‘The Major.’

  Major Strachan? Now what had he been doing building Danny a swing? Dieter had been under the impression that he had merely been the Sawyers’ messenger, but Uncle Bob sounded personal. How involved was he with Angie? Oh, Lord, it would be damned difficult if he married Angie. She was young and attractive and was bound to fall in love and marry.

  A chill rippled through him. This was something he had not before considered. He did not want another man bringing up his son. The prospect filled him with alarm.

  19

  ‘Congratulations, Lieutenant-Colonel, this is a well-deserved promotion.’

  Bob saluted the General. ‘Thank you, sir.’

  ‘Shame your father can’t be here to see this day. Enjoying his retirement, I suppose?’

  ‘Yes, sir. He manages to keep busy, though.’

  ‘I’m sure he does. Never was one for wasting time.’ The General gave a wry smile. ‘Now, I believe there is to be a celebration this evening.’ He raised an eyebrow.

  ‘You’re not supposed to know about it, but make sure you’re in the bar by eight thirty.’

  ‘I’ll look surprised, sir.’

  ‘Good. The first round will be on you.’

  ‘No doubt.’ Bob’s mouth twitched as he marched away.

  Corporal Hunt was waiting for him when he arrived back at his office. He didn’t miss the worried frown creasing his driver’s forehead. ‘I brought your mail along for you, Colonel.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Bob flicked through the letters and saw two from Somerset.

  ‘Sir?’

  Bob looked up.

  ‘Now you’ve got your promotion, will they be assigning you another driver?’

  He was tempted to have a little fun at Hunt’s expense, but he would put him out of his misery. ‘You’re stuck with me. I wouldn’t inflict you on anyone else.’

  The frown disappeared in a flash. ‘Very wise, sir.’

  Bob kept his head down to hide his grin as he slit open the first envelope. The letter was from John and Hetty, giving him all the news about Dieter’s arrival. He wasn’t surprised to learn that the girl in York hadn’t been Dieter’s sister. It had been a long shot, but at least it had got Dieter back to England, and he had gone straight to the Sawyers from York. The poor sod must be devastated, though.

  ‘The gentleman’s okay, then, sir.’

  ‘You still here?’ Bob laid the letter on the desk. ‘It seems so. The girl wasn’t related to him, and he went to Somerset, as we’d hoped. Would you like to read the letter?’

  ‘That won’t be necessary.’ Hunt smirked. ‘I’m good at reading upside down.’

  ‘Another of your doubtful talents?’

  ‘Quite useful at times.’ Hunt pointed to the other unopened letter. ‘I’d say that’s from the gentleman himself. Got more than a letter inside.’

  ‘Have you steamed it open?’

  ‘No, sir.’ The Corporal looked suitably offended. ‘From the feel of it, I would say it has money in it.’

  Did nothing get past this man’s sharp eyes? When Bob opened the letter, he found that it contained a brief note and the money he’d given Dieter for his return fare. The note thanked him, and said that he wouldn’t be returning to Germany.

  ‘Ah, an honest man, sir.’

  ‘I must be careful not to read anything of importance while you’re around.’ Bob felt the urge to laugh but managed to control it.

  Hunt was going to hate this next order. ‘Go and pack your gear: we’re leaving at oh-six hundred hours.’

  ‘Where to, sir?’

  ‘Manoeuvres.’

  ‘Man –’ The word died on his lips as a look of panic flitted across his face.

  ‘Yes, you know, where we get to play at being soldiers, digging holes to sleep in, hiding in bushes, crawling through the mud. Things like that.’

  ‘But … but, sir, you can’t do that. Not with your poor leg. And it might rain … or even snow.’ The last word came out in a horrified gasp.

  Bob was enjoying this. He’d really poked the wind up him. ‘I’m touched by your concern, but I shall be in a tank.’

  This took Hunt a few seconds to absorb, and then the jaunty expression was back. ‘Ah, well, that’s different, sir. I can drive a tank.’

  ‘Can you? I didn’t know that.’

  ‘If it’s got pedals and gears I can drive it.’ The Corporal looked smug. ‘And you can’t drive it, sir … Not with your poor leg.’

  ‘Will you stop acting like a mother hen? I’m perfectly fit, as you well know. And leave my leg out of this.’

  ‘Can’t do that, sir.’ Hunt shook his head, a crafty glint in his eyes. ‘It’s my job to look after you. You was limping real bad after putting up the kids’ swing. Hope the little chap is happy. Nice boy that, and his auntie too, of course.’

  ‘Don’t change the subject. We’re going on manoeuvres for the next ten days, whether you think I’m up to it or not. Where I go, you go. Now get your kit together. We’re leaving at dawn for West Germany. The destination is secret, but why the hell we bother is a mystery to me. The Russians know every move we make.’
>
  Hunt was crestfallen again, not the slightest bit interested in the location of the manoeuvres. ‘Ten days?’

  Bob nodded and watched his dejected driver start to walk out of the office. ‘And don’t forget to pack your marching boots, Sergeant.’

  Hunt stopped, turned his head and looked over his shoulder. ‘What did you say, sir?’

  ‘Don’t forget to pack your marching boots.’

  ‘No, sir, after that.’

  ‘Oh, you mean Sergeant.’ Bob chuckled. ‘You’ve been promoted as well.’

  Hunt spun back to face him. ‘That’s very good of you. Not that I don’t deserve it, of course.’

  ‘I thought you would be less of an embarrassment to me with extra stripes on your sleeve. You would blend in better with a more elevated rank.’

  ‘Very wise, sir.’ Hunt was beaming from ear to ear now. ‘Perhaps these games won’t be so bad, and ten days ain’t long.’

  ‘Keep that in mind. The other good news is that we are going on fourteen days’ leave over Christmas.’

  ‘That is good news.’ The new sergeant’s eyes took on a calculating shine. ‘Would there be any chance of a flight home, sir?’

  ‘I’ll arrange it for both of us. I want to go back as well.’

  ‘If you could summon up a car in England, I could drive you to Somerset. You will be going to Somerset, sir?’

  ‘You won’t be on duty. I’ll catch the train.’ He knew just what Hunt was after.

  ‘It wouldn’t be no trouble, sir. I’d like to visit there myself.’

  ‘Would you?’ Now there was a surprise. ‘In that case I’m sure the landlord’s daughter will be pleased to see you. You can book us rooms at the pub for a couple of nights.’

  ‘I’ll send a telegram as soon as these manoeuvres are over.’ He grimaced at the thought of playing soldiers.

  ‘You’d better get off and pack now.’ Bob glanced at his watch. ‘I’ve been ordered to attend a surprise party.’