Fighting with Shadows

by Beryl Matthews

  ‘And he’d better have a damned good explanation,’ John muttered under his breath.

  ‘You find him, Auntie, and tell him he’s naughty.’

  ‘He’ll get the biggest telling-off of his life!’

  He leant on Angie’s knees, his grey eyes imploring. ‘Make him come back soon.’

  ‘I will. Now it’s time you went back to bed. Say good-night to Granny and Grandpa.’

  ‘Night.’ He gave them a wan smile and went obediently upstairs with Angie. Once he was tucked up, she waited until he had fallen asleep. Gazing down at his tear-stained face, she felt numb with disbelief. Dieter must have known how this would upset his son, so why had he done it? Why disappear without an explanation? What was so urgent that he couldn’t take half an hour to see Danny first? And was he going to come back? All he’d said in the note was that he would be in touch – not a word about returning. That was her biggest worry because they had told Danny that he was definitely coming back to them, and her darling boy had accepted that. But suppose he never did?

  She wandered downstairs to John and Hetty. They were staring silently into the fire.

  ‘Danny’s asleep.’ Angie sat down, bowed her head wearily and then looked up. ‘Okay, what the hell do you think this is all about? Has Dieter done or said anything lately to make you suspect he was going back to Germany?’

  ‘Nothing at all.’ John sighed. ‘He’s been very happy, what with Danny and the new job.’

  ‘That’s what I thought.’ Angie cast her mind back over the last couple of weeks, trying to remember if he’d said or done anything to give a hint that he might leave. But she couldn’t think of a thing.

  ‘I don’t know what would have had him tearing off in such a hurry that he couldn’t even leave a proper note.’ Hetty put her hand on the teapot and, finding it still warm, poured herself another cup of tea.

  John also held his cup out. ‘I think I’ll drive over to Bob’s parents tomorrow. They might know something.’

  ‘I’ll come with you, John. I can leave Danny with Sally for a few hours.’ Angie rubbed between her eyes as her head began to pound with tension. ‘I’ll also write to Bob and tell him what’s happened. He found him once, so perhaps he can do it again.’

  John stood up. ‘Come on, Hetty, let’s leave Angie to get some rest. I’ll pick you up around ten in the morning.’

  ‘Okay, John, and thanks for coming over.’

  She saw them to the door and watched them drive away. The cups were left in the sink and she dragged herself upstairs. There wasn’t anything else she could do tonight. It felt as if all the energy had been drained from her. Danny’s worried little face, when he had begged her to find Dieter, was imprinted on her memory. Just when things seemed to be going so well, this had to happen.

  After cleaning her teeth, she leant on the sink and bowed her head. The shock of Dieter leaving for Germany without an explanation was bringing feelings to the surface that she had denied. She wanted him to be here not just for Danny’s sake but because she had grown fond of him.

  She stood up straight and sighed deeply. No, it was more than that. Time to admit the truth. She loved him.

  ‘Oh, Dieter,’ she whispered as she crawled into bed.

  ‘Please be in touch soon. And please, please, have a very good reason for leaving in such a hurry.’

  John arrived just before ten. Angie was ready and they were soon on their way.

  ‘Is Danny okay?’ John glanced at her worriedly.

  ‘Very subdued this morning, but I think he’s happy to spend the day with Emma and Sally. They won’t give him a chance to brood. I’m sure he wanted to believe it when we told him Dieter would come back, but nevertheless, with all that’s happened to him this last few months, he must have doubts.’

  ‘Poor little devil. He’s had a lot to deal with in his young life.’

  ‘Yes, and just when I thought we were coming out into the light, this happens.’

  Angie battled with a mixture of sadness and fear. For all her anger with Dieter, she was worried sick about him. She could have sworn he was not the type to just take off, leaving his son and the new life he was building so successfully for himself here. She had become used to having him around and couldn’t imagine life without him. And it would be worse for Danny. He had just found his father and to lose him now would be devastating. She knew children were resilient, but another blow for such a young child would be too awful to contemplate.

  ‘Let’s hope we can find out something today.’

  Angie nodded, and sent up a silent prayer that they would.

  When they arrived at the house, it looked deserted. No one answered their insistent knocking.

  ‘Doesn’t look as if anyone’s at home.’ John wandered along, peering in the windows. ‘Not a sign of life.’

  ‘Can I help you?’ A man appeared from the side of the house, a shovel in his hands.

  ‘We’ve come to see the General and Mrs Strachan.’

  ‘Ah, well, miss, you’re out of luck, I’m afraid. Gone away, they have.’

  Angie’s spirits plummeted. ‘Do you know where? It’s most important we speak to them.’

  ‘They’ve gone overseas somewhere. Often do that. Don’t know where, but they left a week ago.’

  ‘Do you know when they’re due back?’ John asked.

  ‘’Fraid not. You never can tell with them. I’m only the gardener. I come in twice a week, do my job and leave. The rest of the staff have all taken time off, so there isn’t no one who can help you.’ The gardener shrugged apologetically. ‘If you come back in a week’s time, the housekeeper will be here.’

  ‘That’s too late, but thanks anyway.’ John led Angie back to the truck. ‘They left a week ago, so it can’t be anything to do with Dieter. All we can do now is wait and hope he gets in touch like he said in his note.’

  ‘Ow, a wheel’s come off my best train.’ Emma held it out for Danny to see. ‘Deeder’ll fix it for me.’

  ‘No, he won’t. He’s gone away.’

  Emma looked crestfallen. ‘I’ll have to wait till he gets back, then.’

  ‘He isn’t coming back.’ Danny pressed his lips together hard, determined not to cry. Auntie said he would, but he wouldn’t.

  ‘’Course he is.’ Emma peered at her friend’s unhappy face. ‘My daddy used to go away, but he always came back.’

  ‘He’s gone a long way. Over the sea. My mummy said he did that before and he didn’t come back to see us.’

  ‘He will this time.’ Emma, ever the optimist, sounded confident.

  ‘Won’t.’

  ‘Will. He’s got to mend my toys when they get broke.’

  ‘He don’t care about your toys. He don’t care about any of us.’

  ‘He does! Deeder’s nice.’ Emma looked outraged.

  ‘’Spect he’s just had to go off and do things daddies do.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘I don’t know!’

  It turned into a full-scale bickering match, and it made Danny feel better to let all the hurt out.

  ‘Will you two stop it?’ Em’s mummy stuck her head through the doorway and shook a duster at them.

  There was a moment of silence as they waited until she had disappeared again, then the friends began to roll on the floor, shrieking with laughter.

  32

  The curses coming from Bob as he read Angie’s letter could be heard by anyone within thirty yards of his office.

  ‘Your father’s here to see you, sir.’ Hunt barely managed to hide his smirk as he entered the office of his furious colonel.

  Bob hauled himself out of the chair just as his father swept in. ‘What the blazes are you doing here?’

  ‘Come to see for myself what’s going on in this poor benighted city.’ The General glanced at Hunt. ‘Sent him to the best schools money could buy and they still couldn’t drill good manners into him. I could do with a stiff drink, Sergeant.’

  ‘Coming right up, sir.
’ Hunt opened a filing cabinet, took out a bottle of whisky and two glasses. After pouring generous measures, he handed them to father and son. ‘Anything else I can do for you, sir?’

  ‘No, I’ll call you if I need you.’ Bob took a good swig of the drink. This was turning out to be a hell of a day, and his father turning up was the last thing he’d expected. Though the General was very unpredictable, just like his elder son, Bob thought. There wasn’t much doubt about which parent he took after. His younger brother was normal, much to his mother’s relief.

  As Hunt left the office, Bob held his glass up in greeting. ‘You know I’m pleased to see you, but what are you really doing here?’

  ‘Exactly what I said. I’ve left your mother in Frankfurt while I have a look around.’

  Bob nearly choked on a mouthful of whisky. ‘Mother’s here as well?’

  ‘Of course. We’re trying to find what happened to a girl who was shipped to a labour camp and hasn’t returned home.’

  He shot his father a furious look. ‘I’ve just had a frantic letter from Angie, saying that Dieter has returned to Germany and they don’t know why. Is this anything to do with you?’

  ‘Has he now. Shouldn’t think so.’ The General drained his glass. ‘We sent him some photographs, that’s all. Unless …’

  Bob narrowed his eyes. ‘Unless what?’

  ‘There’re a few people we met who came from Dresden, and we wondered if he might know them. We did promise we’d help him if we could.’ His father helped himself to another drink. ‘Dieter knows we’re in Frankfurt, so he might turn up there.’

  ‘He better bloody well had.’ Bob glared at his father.

  ‘And if he does, you make sure he gets back to England.’

  It had taken Dieter three days to reach Frankfurt by boat and train. He didn’t have an address for the Mansteins, but he hoped the General was still at the same hotel, or this wild dash would have been for nothing. Now the first rush of panic was over, he knew that he should have waited and asked the General to find out more about the girl. But he hadn’t been able to wait. He was so sure! After giving up all hope of finding her, the shock had been overwhelming, wiping everything else from his mind.

  He walked into the hotel, tired and dishevelled, and asked at reception for the General, sighing with relief when they picked up the phone and announced that he was here.

  ‘Room 42, Herr Cramer. Up the stairs and turn left at the top.’

  ‘Danke.’

  Mrs Strachan answered his knock. ‘Dieter, what a surprise. Come in and tell me why you’re here.’

  He stepped into the room, put down his bag and gazed around. ‘Your husband sent me photographs. Is he here?’

  ‘He’s gone to visit Robert in Berlin. Do sit down. Can I get you something to eat and drink?’

  ‘Tea and sandwiches would be very welcome.’ He grimaced. ‘I have not stopped for anything. I was so afraid you may have left here.’

  She picked up the phone and ordered the food. When this was done, she studied him intently. ‘Tell me why you’ve come in such a hurry.’

  ‘There is a girl in one of the photographs. The name on the back is Helga Manstein, but she is my sister.’

  She sat up straight in disbelief. ‘You must be mistaken. She is their daughter.’

  ‘I don’t care who they say she is, or what she is calling herself. She is my sister.’ He pushed hair out of his eyes. ‘I would know her anywhere. I must see her.’

  ‘Of course, if you are that sure, then we must get to the bottom of the mystery.’ She reached for the phone again. ‘But first we must settle you in a room here.’

  ‘I cannot afford to stay here, madam. I shall find somewhere else.’

  She dismissed his protest with a wave of her hand. ‘You are here because of us. We shall pay for your room and food.’ Her understanding smile softened the firmness of her words.

  The food arrived while she was booking him a room, and she signalled for him to eat. He did so without further urging. He was famished.

  ‘That is arranged, Dieter. You have the room next to ours. They are bringing the key to us now. When you have eaten, you must unpack and then we shall go and see the girl.’

  He ran a hand over his chin, feeling the bristles. ‘I will have to shave and freshen up first.’

  ‘While you’re doing that, I’ll try to contact my husband and let him know you’re here.’

  By the time Dieter had demolished the plate of sandwiches and drunk all the tea in the pot, his key had arrived. He stood up. ‘It will not take me more than half an hour to get ready. Will that be suitable for you?’

  ‘Take your time, Dieter. I know you are anxious to see if this girl is your sister, but she isn’t going anywhere.’

  That was a comfort, but he still washed, shaved and changed his clothes as quickly as he could.

  Bob was about to take his father to the mess for lunch when the phone rang. He answered it, listened for a while, and then said, ‘Hold on Mother, he’s here with me now.’ He held the phone out to his father, and then sat back, arms folded. Thank God! Dieter had turned up at their hotel.

  Fifteen minutes later his father put the phone down. ‘You can stop glowering like that. Dieter’s with your mother. I told you he would probably go there, didn’t I?’

  His father’s unconcerned expression was too much for Bob’s fragile temper. He exploded. ‘Do you know how much trouble we had getting him to leave Germany in the first place? Now you’ve brought him back on the off chance you might have found someone who knows him.’ He surged out of his chair and began to pace the room, knowing just how worried everyone would be back in Somerset. ‘The man was settling down, happy to be with his son, and with the prospect of a new career. He had finally accepted that his family was dead, and by your meddling you’ve dragged up the whole thing again.’

  ‘Don’t blow your top.’ The General was completely unfazed by his son’s fury. ‘We have to explore every possibility, however unlikely.’

  ‘Don’t …?’ Bob spun round to face him. ‘Hell, Dad, are you going senile in your old age? Angie’s worried sick and Danny is upset. They’ve no idea what’s going on. All Dieter left behind was a hastily scribbled note saying he was returning to Germany. They don’t even know if he’s going back to them.’

  ‘Of course he will. I’ll see he has a return ticket. We’re going back at the end of the week and we’ll take him with us.’

  ‘You make sure you do.’ Bob rotated his shoulders, easing the tension. ‘Did Mother say why he’s come here?’

  ‘She did. Dieter believes that a girl in one of the photos I sent him is his sister.’

  ‘What?’

  For the first time the General looked uncertain. ‘It can’t be, though. Her name is Helga.’

  The groan was audible as Bob ran his hand over his eyes. ‘Then the poor sod’s in for another disappointment. Father, you should be shot!’

  The General stood up. ‘Nothing we can do about it now. I’ll go back to Frankfurt in the morning. Today, you can show me round the place and buy me a meal. I’m starving.’

  Bob gave a resigned sigh and prepared to give him a guided tour of British HQ, Charlottenburg. It was near Spandau, so his father would undoubtedly want to see the prison as well. Then there would be a riotous evening in the mess as his father revelled in army life again.

  His mouth twitched at the corners. There was never a dull moment when his father was around. He would have to warn Hunt to wake them both early in the morning.

  Mrs Strachan was ready when Dieter returned to her room.

  ‘Good, you look more refreshed. The house is only ten minutes away from here.’ She closed her door and they walked towards the stairs. ‘I managed to contact my husband, and he’s coming back tomorrow.’

  When they were in the street, she took Dieter’s arm and looked up, her face showing sympathy. ‘You mustn’t raise your hopes too much, for I’m sure you’re mistaken.’

  ‘I
am not.’

  ‘We shall soon see.’

  They walked the rest of the way in silence, until they reached a terraced house. Dieter was too tense to take much notice of the place, but his impression was of a small family house. He stood back and let Mrs Strachan knock on the door.

  It was opened by a man in his middle years, hair greying at the temples and several inches shorter than Dieter’s six feet. He smiled with pleasure and spoke in quite good English.

  ‘How lovely to see you again. Come in, come in.’

  ‘This is Dieter Cramer.’ Mrs Strachan introduced him to Herr Manstein and his wife. ‘We sent him a photograph of you, do you remember?’

  ‘Ah, yes.’ Herr Manstein looked at him closely, and then shook his head. ‘I am afraid I do not know you.’ He turned to his wife. ‘Do you?’

  Dieter could not stand politely by any longer. ‘We have never met, but I believe the young girl in the photograph is my sister.’

  The colour drained from their faces, and Frau Manstein, a petite woman with brown hair and dark eyes, clutched at her husband’s arm.

  He patted her arm and cleared his throat. ‘I am –’

  He was stopped in mid sentence when the door opened and the girl came in, laughing with the son from the picture.

  Dieter stared hard, holding his breath in anticipation. Then the elation was so overwhelming he wanted to shout for joy. He stepped towards her eagerly, arms outstretched to gather her to him. ‘Gerda!’

  She stopped laughing, stepped back away from him and frowned. ‘My name is Helga.’

  ‘No, it isn’t.’ His arms dropped to his sides, stunned by her reaction and denial. ‘I am your brother, Dieter. Do you not recognize me?’

  Looking alarmed, she walked over and sat beside Frau Manstein, who placed a comforting arm around her shoulder. ‘I do not know you.’

  ‘What is it, Dieter?’ Mrs Strachan had been unable to follow the conversation, as they were all now speaking in German. ‘Is it your sister?’