To Have and to Harley

by Regina Cole

  He laughed a little, a deep rumbling sound that sent a shiver through her. “Then I guess I did my job right.”

  “Did you ever.” She stretched, her ass pressing back against him with the movement.

  “Keep that up and we’ll have to think about round two.”

  She sighed. “As much as I’d love that, I should probably get home.”

  Her legs swung over the side of the bed, but his grip around her waist tightened. “You don’t have to go.”

  She paused. “Are you sure you want me staying here all night?”

  He rose on his elbow and looked down at her, his free hand brushing the hair from her cheek. “Stay with me.” He paused, then resumed stroking her cheek. “I mean, I want you to stay with me.”

  Her thoughts were a whirlwind.

  This felt like a much bigger decision than whether or not she’d wake up in her own bed in the morning. This felt like…a step. A move toward the future that she wouldn’t necessarily be able to take back tomorrow. A turning point of sorts.

  Which path should she take? The safe one that led back to her lonely apartment, or the one that led toward a man who was more question than answer, more darkness than light, more passion than security?

  But even though she barely knew him in reality, something deep inside her understood that Trey was the kind of person she’d have chosen under any circumstances.

  “I’ll stay,” she whispered, turning toward him in the bed and wrapping her arm around him as she nuzzled against his chest’s soft mat of hair. “I’ll stay with you tonight.”

  And she did.

  * * *

  At first she thought the noise of a car backfiring had woken her out of a deep slumber. But then the sound happened again, and her heart jumped as she realized it was a gunshot.

  She rocketed out of bed, her body catching a quick chill as she finally remembered she was naked.

  Trey was nowhere to be seen, but her clothes were laid out neatly on the chair in the corner. She grabbed them and pulled them on, wincing at the crack of gunshots that were way, way too close.

  “Trey?” she called as she jammed her feet into her shoes. “Are you okay?”

  No answer.

  She walked down the hall, glad for the momentary silence that had fallen. At least, until she reached the kitchen. Then she heard shouting voices, one of which was Trey’s.

  She hurried to the door to see what was up.

  Trey was standing barefoot on the deck, wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt as he yelled out into his yard. A huge guy with a shotgun was standing only twenty feet away.

  “Holy crap,” Bethany gasped, and whirled. She ran for the living room to find her phone.

  Shaking fingers opened the dial pad, and she’d just typed the nine when a bellow of laughter met her ears.

  Was that—Trey?

  Bethany cleared the number from her phone and hesitantly walked back into the kitchen.

  Sure enough, Trey’s head was thrown back and he was laughing his ass off. The big guy with the gun was laughing too. Behind him were three other guys that she hadn’t noticed before. One of them was holding an RC controller, and another had a big drone with a pink-and-white poster board attached to the bottom of it.

  Bethany slid open the door a little, her adrenaline still racing.

  “I don’t give a damn if you break it, but why do you have to do it in my cock-sucking backyard?”

  “I told you, Boss. You’ve got more clearance over the pond. Too many trees in our backyard.”

  “Why the hell do you want to shoot it anyway?”

  The guy holding the controller shrugged. “I got a new one. Wolf wanted to do some target shooting, and I figured this would give me some practice at evasive maneuvers. Besides, we agreed that Ace’s vision board needed some adjustments.”

  “I can’t believe you don’t appreciate my artistic genius. Do you know how hard it was to go into the store and get those glitter markers? The pink poster board? You guys have no appreciation for how hard I worked!”

  Trey shook his head as Bethany slipped out the door. “Ace, you’ve totally lost it. Rocco, you’ve got a few screws loose. And Wolf, I’d expect you to act like an adult.”

  Wolf, she presumed, was the big, bearded one with the gun. “I never turn down the opportunity to break something, Boss. Especially Ace’s balls.”

  “My heart, more like.” Ace sniffed. “All the time I spent slaving away…”

  Trey noticed her, and a smile broke out over his face as he reached for her hand.

  “Hey, Beth.”

  “Hi,” she said quietly, curling her fingers into his. “Do I need to call the cops? Or do you typically use gunshots as an alarm clock?”

  Just like that, his face went thundercloud dark.

  “You assholes woke up my old lady.”

  “Shut up,” she said, nudging Trey.

  Instantaneously, all four men froze like statues. The silence stretched out so long that Bethany shifted nervously.

  Had she done something wrong?

  “Old lady?” the one holding the drone said. “Boss, since when do you have an old lady?”

  “Since now,” Trey said, slinging his arm around Bethany’s shoulders. “Boys, this is Bethany. She’s the maid of honor for the Yelverton wedding. Say hello.” Trey nodded at each of them in turn. “That’s Wolf, Rocco, Ace, and Dean.”

  A chorus of muttered hellos reached her, and Bethany fought her blush.

  “Hey,” she said, wondering why she felt so awkward. These were clearly the same guys that had been helping at the bar wedding. Trey’s coworkers, or friends, or whatever they were.

  But all in all, the situation was uncomfortable, and she was glad when Trey waved goodbye to them, and she walked back into the house with him.

  “What was that about?” Bethany asked as Trey started making coffee.

  “Just assholes killing time.” Trey poured water into the coffeepot. “Sorry they woke you up though.”

  She crept up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

  “It’s okay. You should have woken me up this morning. I didn’t need to sleep in.”

  He looked over his shoulder with an evil grin. “Yes, you did. I kept you up too late last night.”

  She smiled back. “You did, but I don’t mind getting up early to be with you.”

  He brushed a kiss across her lips and poured her a cup of coffee.

  She took it and sat down at the table while he made her breakfast.

  Damn. If she wasn’t careful, she could get used to this.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Every day that passed left Bethany wanting him more and being more confused by him.

  Trey was definitely an enigma. He’d disappear, sometimes for days on end, and then reappear like nothing had happened. When she asked what was up, he’d just tell her not to worry about it.

  It was definitely worrying.

  But then they’d spend time together, whole days naked in bed exploring each other, and she’d forget about the questions, the worry, the wondering.

  She was walking on a tightrope that couldn’t take her weight, and it would eventually snap. She knew it, but she also couldn’t bring herself to care.

  She was the happiest she’d ever been in her life, with the exception of a couple of tiny details. One, the constant phone calls and voicemails from her grandmother, who was still insisting that Bethany’s “boyfriend” was a criminal thug, or worse, and two…

  “Can’t believe you dragged me to this freaking dress store.” Sarah was grumbling as she swam her way through about twelve yards of white tulle. “I told you I didn’t want to deal with any of this stuff!”

  “You’ve got to try on wedding dresses. I can’t do it for you. You’d end up with something that your boo
bs wouldn’t fit inside.”

  Sarah shot her a glare as soon as her face emerged from the neckline of the wedding dress. “I can get married in jeans and a T-shirt.”

  “And break Mama Yelverton’s heart? You’re not that cruel. Now come on, turn around and let me zip you.”

  Sarah bitched and moaned as Bethany slid the zipper closed, but then she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror and suddenly the whining turned to oohs and aahs.

  “Oh, Bethy, it’s so beautiful,” Sarah gasped as she smoothed the puffy skirt down at her hips. It was a beautiful design, fitted at the bodice and with lots of fluffy princess poof at the bottom. A short train swished out behind, the ideal finish to the perfect wedding dress.

  As soon as Bethany had seen it, she’d known it would be perfect for Sarah. The memory of taking Ace dress shopping would be one she’d carry to her grave, but she had to admit, behind the flirtatious, teasing playboy act, he actually had nice taste.

  “I’m so glad you like it,” Bethany said, pride and happiness swelling within her as Sarah laughed and spun in front of the mirror. “Just needs a little alteration in the waist and the tuck-up for your train.”

  The fitting-room attendant took the dress and made notes about the alterations, and Sarah and Bethany left the shop together.

  “Thanks so much for finding it,” Sarah was saying as they climbed into Bethany’s car. “I can’t believe how wonderful it is.”

  Bethany shrugged as she clicked on her seat belt. “It just screamed you, that’s all.”

  Sarah happy-sighed. “Great, that’s done. How about some lunch? My treat.”

  Bethany glanced at the clock. She’d promised to meet Trey for lunch, presuming that Sarah had other plans, but she couldn’t exactly tell Sarah that.

  “Um, sure. I just need to rearrange a meeting or two, if that’s okay.”

  Sarah shook her head. “No, don’t worry about it. I should probably get home to study anyway. Just thought you could use a break. I hardly hear from you at all these days. You seem to be so busy with the wedding.”

  Bethany tried to keep her wince under wraps, but damn Sarah’s sharp eyes.

  “Are you sure this isn’t too much on you? I can get Mark’s mom to help…”

  “No, no, that’s not it.” The need to tell the truth was like a flaming-hot knife inside her chest, but the fear of upsetting Sarah was even stronger. “I’m enjoying it. Really. Just worried about the job search and everything.”

  Sarah hiked her brow in her friend’s direction. “Do you need more money for helping with the wedding planning? I’ll be happy to pay more—”

  Bethany shook her head vehemently. “No, you’ve been way too generous already. I’ve barely touched my savings. But even with this temporary wedding job, I need to figure out what I’m going to do with my life once your wedding is over.”

  “Well, you should take some time to have fun too. There’s a month left before the wedding, and from what Mom has told me, you guys are in really good shape. And besides, Trey should be doing some of this. Mom’s paying him for that too.”

  The note of disapproval in Sarah’s tone made Bethany’s stomach tense. “Still not sure about the whole brother thing?”

  “No. Sorry. It’s just…” Sarah shook her head as the car pulled to a stop in front of her apartment. “Eh. I’ve avoided dealing with it. Like usual, Sarah’s patented ‘Ignore the problem till it goes away’ technique.” She reached for the door handle, then paused. “Hey. I’ve got an idea.”

  Uh-oh. Sarah’s ideas were usually cause for worry.

  “What is it?”

  Sarah turned and looked at her with eyes that could only be termed puppy-dog. “What if we did a family dinner? With both of us, Mom, Mark, and Trey. To get to know everyone a little. I’d feel more comfortable with you there to run interference. What do you say?”

  Bethany closed her eyes and tried to swallow, but damn if her mouth wasn’t full of cotton wool. It was hard enough pretending in front of Mama Yelverton. How could she keep her feelings for Trey secret if Sarah was staring at her the whole time at dinner?

  It wasn’t possible. It was a terrible idea.

  But of course she’d do it. She never left her best friend in the lurch. Damn it.

  “Sure, if everyone else is okay with it,” Bethany said weakly.

  Sarah leaned across the seat and gave her a quick hug.

  “You’re the best, bestie. I’ll get the dinner set up and talk with you soon, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  Bethany smiled tightly and waved as Sarah disappeared down the walkway. As soon as she was out of sight, Bethany let her forehead thump against her steering wheel.

  This was not going to be fun, in any sense of the word.

  She was screwed.

  The drive to the little diner where she and Trey were meeting took much longer than she’d have thought. Being alone with her brain while it screamed at her for the double life she was leading wasn’t exactly her idea of a good time.

  By the time she’d turned into the parking lot, her hands were clammy, her shoulders aching, and all she wanted to do was take a hot shower and a nap, in that order.

  She had to talk to Trey though. Tell him her worries, and get on the same page. Hopefully, he’d be on board with keeping their…relationship…secret. Was that even the right word? They hadn’t made promises to each other, but he’d kind of claimed her in front of his friends a few weeks ago. That was like declaring her his girlfriend, right? And she definitely wasn’t seeing anyone else.

  The engine cutting left her in too much silence, and the worries rushed in to fill the gap.

  What if she thought they were exclusive and Trey didn’t? She shook off the toxic notion the instant it crept into her frontal lobe. No way. Trey was loyal; she didn’t doubt that. Even though he could probably have four or five women every night if he wanted to, she didn’t think he was the kind of guy to sleep around like that.

  But what do you really know about him? He hasn’t even told you what he does for a living.

  That poisonous voice inside her head popped up at the most inopportune times.

  She climbed out of the car and walked toward the diner, shutting the voice out yet again.

  Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Everything is fine. And if she kept repeating that, it had to be true.

  Didn’t it?

  * * *

  Trey was outside on his phone when Bethany’s car pulled into the lot.

  He smiled to himself, the happiness and peace sliding through him like it always did when he caught sight of her.

  Her car was looking more yellow than green, pollen from the pines covering it in a thin layer of golden dust. He’d wash it for her, maybe tomorrow afternoon when it was supposed to be sunny and warmer.

  He started toward her, intending to walk her to the door of the diner, but the expression on her face stopped him.

  There were lines on her forehead, her eyebrows were knitted together, and the corners of her mouth were drawn down.

  She closed her eyes, and it looked for a moment as if she was arguing with herself.

  Guilt crept in, pore by pore, overtaking his previous happiness.

  With every day that went by, he felt worse and worse about the charade he was keeping up in front of her. She knew he wasn’t what he’d claimed to be, but he’d never once tried to tell her the truth. And why?

  Fear. He was a cowardly asshole, and it was eating him from the inside out.

  She opened her eyes and climbed out of the car. He strode across the walk to catch up with her.

  “Hey,” he said softly, and she turned.

  Her expression lifted slightly at the sight of him. “Hi. You okay?”

  He nodded, wrapping his arm around her waist. “Yeah. You?”

 
She nodded and leaned her head against his shoulder. “I’ll be fine. Just up in my head about some stuff.”

  You know that, asshole. It’s not like you haven’t given her a ton of crap to be up in her head about.

  Shaking off the conscience that wasn’t taking no for an answer, Trey held open the door to the diner and let Bethany precede him into the restaurant.

  They took a booth in the corner, Trey facing the rest of the place, Bethany opposite him. They made small talk for a few minutes, each of them ordering from the menu and sipping on tea and water, respectively.

  As he did whenever he was with her like this, Trey wondered what her reaction would be if she knew. What would she think if she found out that he’d been keeping the Iron Shadows—and the fact that he was their leader—a secret from her?

  Nothing good. Nothing at all good.

  “I wanted to talk to you,” Bethany said, unwrapping the halves of her BLT, the wrapper crinkling under her hands. “About something kind of important.”

  He tensed. “Okay.”

  It wasn’t okay, but it also wasn’t as if he had a choice.

  “It’s Sarah. You know she’s my best friend. I haven’t told her about…” Bethany’s voice trailed off, and she gestured between them. “About us, I guess I mean to say.”

  Trey nodded, a little relieved that the conversation hadn’t gone where he’d thought it was going, namely to Why are you still lying to me, you asshole?

  Bethany took a deep breath, setting her sandwich down as she continued. “I mean, we haven’t really defined what it is we are to each other. And Sarah has some unresolved feelings when it comes to the family situation. I didn’t want to complicate things any further by telling her.”

  Trey sank back in the booth. He didn’t say anything, wondering if there was anything else she wanted to say.

  He didn’t have to wait long.

  “Sarah wants to have a family dinner to get to know you, and she wants me to be there as a buffer, since I said you were nice. But it’ll be hard to keep our involvement from her, she’s so freaking sharp.”

  A worry crept in, one that snaked its way up his spine and curled back down into the pit of his stomach. “Are you ashamed of being seen with me?”