The Rancher's Surrender

by Jill Shalvis

  She felt as though she were on an emotional roller coaster ride, one she was completely unequipped for. She knew nothing of these matters, she'd avoided exactly this kind of attachment most of her life.

  Walking away would be so easy, but she had no choice. For her sisters, she had to do this. And really, just how bad could pride taste, anyway? "We figured we could fix up the barn," she said. "The cabins on the edge of the property aren't needed right now, so they can stay the way they are."

  "We've discussed this."

  "There's more."

  He crossed his arms, his legs spread and steady. An aggressive male stance that screamed dangerously annoyed, tired male. She spoke quickly. "Then maybe we could get some animals, you know. Nothing too complicated at first. Maybe start out with some chickens."

  "Uh-huh."

  "And a cow or something."

  No response. And agonized over what she had to ask, Zoe held her breath. "Only we need some…"

  "Some…?" he repeated, ever so helpfully.

  She sighed loudly. "We need some help, dammit. Okay?"

  He looked disbelieving. "To handle a single cow and a few chickens?"

  "I want more than that. Ty … I'm trying to ask you for help."

  "Why is it so hard?"

  "I don't know."

  He didn't soften in the least, keeping his arms crossed over the still-bare, still-magnificent chest she was trying her best to ignore.

  "For the record," he asked finally, "are we talking technical help or financial help?"

  "Technical."

  "I'm already—"

  "Yes, yes, I know. Manager," Zoe said, finishing for him impatiently. "This is different. I need more than a general manager. I need to be taught everything."

  He didn't comment on the fact they'd be working together, closely. "Where is the money going to come from?" he asked instead.

  "I'm going to get a loan."

  "You?"

  "Yes, me." Zoe forced herself to relax or she was going to split in two. "Delia has a … well, let's just say she got in trouble with credit cards and shopping a few years back."

  "Bad credit, huh?" he asked, showing his first signs of sympathy.

  For her sister! She was baring her guts here and he felt sorry for Delia.

  "Maddie can't get a loan, either. She's never established any credit at all." And she tended to get suckered by every male she met as well, Zoe thought with a burst of worry that never faded, but she kept that to herself. "So that leaves me."

  He looked unimpressed. "You have any credit?"

  "Sure." Maybe.

  He studied her seriously, his face impassive, his eyes still that startling ice.

  It frightened her, this distant Ty, as nothing else could have. But why, when it was what she'd wanted all along? "We're … we're helpless without you," she said quietly.

  "You're many things, Zoe," he said dryly. "But helpless is not one of them."

  She was positive that was not a compliment. "I'm thinking of Maddie and Delia." Here was the swallowing-pride part. "I want this badly," she said with as much dignity as she could muster. "Will you do it?"

  "I must be an idiot," he said wearily. "But yes. I'll help you. For Maddie and Delia, I'll help."

  It was an effort to keep her voice even. "But not for me."

  His eyes held hers, and for one moment they warmed and showed her a glimpse of what she'd seen before. Then it was gone, replaced by that frightening chilliness she'd caused. "How you'd resent that," he said softly. "If I dared do anything to help the independent Zoe Martin."

  With that cryptic statement, he turned on his heels and walked away.

  And this time, she let him go.

  * * *

  It was dessert time when Cliff showed up and asked if they needed anything done.

  "Where's Ty?" Zoe asked casually as she let Cliff in. Usually Ty would be here sniffing out the goods.

  Cliff smiled and removed his hat. "He went mountain climbing."

  "Mountain climbing."

  Cliff looked surprised at her shocked tone. "He always goes, especially when he's mad or unsettled." Cliff grinned and shrugged. "Which happens a lot with Ty. He's a dark sort of guy."

  "Mountain climbing is dangerous."

  "Especially the way he does it."

  Zoe schooled her face into impassivity, but still Cliff's grin faded slowly. "Anyway…" He cleared his throat. "He takes off for a day here and there when he can. He loves it, though you wouldn't catch me dead doing half of the crazy climbs he does."

  Zoe's stomach dropped. She pictured Ty hanging off an edge of a cliff, reaching for another, and because of his state of mind—the state of mind she'd put him in—imagined him missing and falling.

  Imagined his body broken and bleeding on the valley floor.

  Ty Jackson was a big boy, she reminded herself all that night and into the dawn. He could take care of himself, he'd been doing just that for a long time.

  She could take care of herself, too. And would.

  * * *

  The next morning, Zoe made excuses to her sisters and got into one of the ancient trucks.

  She drove the long, windy road into the closest town. Lewiston. She was going to get a loan, it was the only way. All of Ty's expertise wouldn't help if she couldn't get the money.

  She knew Ty would have loaned her money, but she had no intention of doing any such thing. It was bad enough she needed him at all. She'd been reading her library books late at night, soaking up the information she needed on ranching. But even Zoe wasn't that stubborn.

  She still needed Ty.

  And the money. But five minutes later, she was miserable.

  Mr. Jacobs was everything Zoe imagined a loan officer being—impersonal expression and impossibly disapproving. He'd listened with polite disinterest, quickly becoming more disinterested, adamantly refusing to consider a loan. "It's out of the question," he repeated. With a deliberate movement, he pushed his glasses up on his nose and looked down its long, thin length at her. He spoke through his nose. "It's a bad investment."

  He might as well have said "You're the bad investment," that's how personally she took his statement.

  All her life she'd been told no. All her life she'd been struggling against feeling inferior. It should have been an easy swallow, but it wasn't. "I haven't even filled out a single form," she said calmly, though her heart raced and her palms were damp. She wiped them on the cotton pants she'd changed into for the occasion, when she'd stupidly believed she could dress for this part.

  Truth was, it didn't matter what she wore, she had Poor stamped across her forehead. The bank officer had probably taken one look at her when she'd walked in and had decided before she'd even opened her mouth.

  "Not necessary to fill out forms in this case." Mr. Jacobs looked past her, clearly hoping his next client was waiting. "Giving money to three women to start a ranch, when not one of you has ever even worked on one before, would be a grave error in judgment."

  Zoe refused to be dismissed so easily. "We're hard workers, we won't give up. This can work."

  Just as stubborn, Mr. Jacobs shook his head, completely without remorse. "Sorry, no can do. The ranch is not a good bet. Good day." He picked up his pencil, bent his head and proceeded to start on another project, rudely ignoring her.

  Head high as she could manage, Zoe left the bank, her stomach burning with shame and fury. She managed to make it home on autopilot, only to be ambushed by Delia at the door of Triple M.

  Her sister took one look at her face and called for Maddie. The two of them promptly dragged Zoe into the kitchen, where Maddie plied her with iced tea and homemade chocolate truffles.

  Maddie nodded to Delia, and they each sat on either side of her, faces worried and serious. They waited until she was full before attacking.

  "Spill it," Delia demanded.

  Zoe put down her tea slowly. How to tell them? She honestly didn't know. Thinking she had to protect them, she forced a
smile. "I went to see about a loan."

  "By yourself?" Maddie asked, concern wrinkling her brow. "Oh, honey, we should have been with you."

  "Yes, we should have been," Delia said. "Dammit, Zoe, stop taking everything on yourself. We're a team."

  Because there was a note of uncertainty in Delia's usually confident voice, Zoe mentally kicked herself and tried to smooth over the tension. "Yes, we're a team. I just thought I could handle this for all of us. It's such a pain."

  "It's in the works?" Delia asked, surprised. There'd been so much disappointment in their lives, Zoe refused to add to it. With the best smile she could muster, she nodded. "It's in the works," she repeated, thinking she'd try every damn bank in the state before disappointing them again.

  * * *

  Chapter 11

  « ^ »

  But there was no bank that would take them, and Zoe became insane with worry. To her shame, it had taken several days before she realized both Delia and Maddie had been uncharacteristically quiet.

  "Your turn to spill it, guys," she demanded over breakfast two days later. She was dressed for work, as she and Cliff were going to tackle the barn and finish getting it ready for the animals she hadn't yet figured out how to afford.

  But there was plenty of time to be stressed-out over that. "What is it?"

  Maddie bit her lip and looked down at her plate filled with steaming pigs in a blanket. The pancakes were fluffy and light, the scent of the sausage causing Zoe's mouth to water.

  Delia coolly drank tea.

  "I've never known you to pass up a reason for telling me what you think of me," Zoe said, trying to tease them into answering.

  A flash of humor hit Delia's serious eyes. "It's not easy to figure out where to start."

  "That good, huh?"

  "That bad." Delia's lips curved as she sipped tea.

  It was impossible to be calm about this. She couldn't handle it if she'd finally caused them to turn away from her. "Please tell me," Zoe found herself saying hoarsely. "Are you both mad at me for keeping us here? Is that it?"

  "Hon, don't be stupid," Delia said kindly, ignoring Zoe's dangerously narrowed eyes. "Come on, Zoe. Do you see me tied here, kept against my will? Do I even look like the kind of woman you could hold to a spot she didn't want to be in?"

  "You know what I mean." But already Zoe felt a relief she didn't want to think about. She looked at both of them, unconsciously holding her breath. "Are you … happy here?"

  "Happy is a relative term," Maddie said quietly. "I'm with both of you, that's all that matters to me."

  "But you could be in Los Angeles, cooking in some fancy restaurant."

  "Yes, and fighting off a boss who thinks he can sexually harass me because I look like a victim." Maddie shook her head. "I love the air here. The space. And the freedom." She reached across and took Zoe's hand. "Zoe, sweetie, I can cook wherever I am and be happy, as long as we're together. I just want to be with my family."

  "Dee?" Zoe looked at Delia. "How about you? Miss shopping?"

  "Oh, I miss shopping," Delia assured her. She dipped her fork into her bowl of fruit, shuddering in distaste when Zoe poured butter and syrup in excess over her own plate. "I miss freeways and gorgeous men jogging on the streets. But you're purposely missing Maddie's point."

  "Well, if someone would tell me the point, I couldn't miss it, could I?"

  "Don't get defensive, it gives you wrinkles."

  "I'm getting pretty tired of people telling me I'm acting defensive."

  "Then stop doing it," Maddie suggested, reaching for Zoe's hand.

  "Tell me what's wrong," Zoe begged. "Oh God." She nearly choked on a bit of pancake. "Cade called, didn't he? This is all a mistake and we have to leave—"

  "No!" Delia laughed and shook her head. "Relax, Zoe, this place is still ours."

  "Then for God's sake, tell me what is wrong."

  "Look, the truth is we're worried about you," Delia said bluntly.

  "Me?" Zoe laughed. "I'm fine."

  "You're not. You're taking this all on yourself, the success of the ranch, the money, even our happiness. And that's just dumb. Okay? We're in this together. We fail together, we succeed together. And we're happy together. Got it?"

  "Well, we're going to be happy going bankrupt together." Horrified, she covered her mouth. "I'm sorry." She rubbed her head, stress pounding through it. "Oh, hell. I'm so sorry. I'm just so worried about this. We can't get a loan."

  "Zoe." Delia took a deep breath. "We know how bad it is. And we don't want to give up, but you have to let us take on some of the stress or you're going to blow up. Stop protecting us."

  "But—"

  "But nothing. You have options. It's just for some reason, you're too stubborn to take them."

  "There are no options," Zoe said flatly.

  "We could borrow the money from Ty," Maddie said quietly. "I don't understand why you won't let us do that."

  "Haven't we had enough of charity to last us a life-time?" She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth, as both sisters paled, but she wouldn't take them back. She'd had enough to last a lifetime.

  How could they not feel the same way?

  Delia made a noise of frustration. "It's a loan, Zoe. Just like you would have from the bank. This place means freedom to us. It's our inheritance and we won't lose it. What's a little pride, hon, when it comes to that?"

  Zoe drew a ragged breath. "I just… You make me feel so stupid. Don't—" she said quickly when Delia grinned and opened her mouth. "Don't say it." Her fingers dove into her hair as her thoughts raced in tune to her pumping heart. "I hate needing money. I hate that we have to ask for it. And those banks…" She slumped. "I would have begged, that's what's so disgusting. If I thought it would have done any good, I would have gotten on my knees and begged for the money."

  "Zoe." Maddie's eyes were dark and warm. "Ty would never make us beg. He's already offered."

  "I could ask him," Delia suggested. "So you wouldn't have to, though why you can't be nice to that man is beyond me. He's—"

  "I know," Zoe broke in quickly, knowing exactly what Ty was. "He's generous."

  "He's gorgeous," Delia countered.

  "Delia."

  "And smart."

  "Delia—"

  "He's also the most open, sincere, compassionate, sweet human being I've met in a long time."

  "Ty?" Zoe gasped with laughter over that one. "Sweet?"

  "He is," Maddie insisted.

  "He's sharp, I'll give you that," Zoe admitted. "He's also fierce, intense, dangerous … and altogether a pain in my you-know-what."

  Delia shook her head in disgust. "You wear blinders with that man, and if I didn't know better, I'd think you were falling for him. But you're impervious that way, men never seem to penetrate through that shield you wear."

  Insulted now, Zoe sniffed. "I'm sure not falling for him."

  "Then you're the idiot," Delia said. "Because I'm telling you, he's just about perfect—"

  "Please," Zoe complained. "I'm trying to eat." Maddie watched the exchange with a mixture of amusement and affection. As usual, when she spoke, she went right to the heart of the matter. "We don't want to leave. We need the money. The banks won't give it. There's only one thing to do."

  They were right, but God, she didn't want them to be.

  "So … who's going to tell him?" Delia asked.

  Two pairs of eyes turned to Zoe and she let out a groan. "Fine. But I'll do it in my own good time."

  "Fine," Delia said.

  "Fine!"

  "And don't shelter us any more," Delia ordered. "We're in this equally."

  "Fine," Zoe snapped again. "And I hope you get a gray hair over this."

  Maddie smiled. "She'll just dye it. We love you, Zoe," she said softly. "The sooner you get that through your thick skull, the better."

  "I hear the thick skull part," said a familiar deep voice.

  Zoe took an uneven breath and turned. Ty's wide should
ers propped up the doorjamb, and though the day had hardly begun, he looked as though he didn't have a care in the world. He looked … oh, boy. He looked gorgeous, just like Delia had so helpfully pointed out.

  Who besides Ty could stand there so early and look so sexy? His hair was slicked back as if he'd just showered. Soap and clean male scent floated in the air. His expression was carefully masked as he met her gaze.

  It was a forcible reminder that they hadn't had a decent conversation since the day she'd help deliver his new foal.

  Obviously he was safe and sound and in one piece, and she'd wasted time worrying herself sick over him.

  As if he could read her mind, a very annoying habit he seemed to enjoy, his eyes heated. No smile, no words, just hot, hungry eyes.

  Instantly her nerves went on overdrive. "Didn't anyone ever teach you it was rude to eavesdrop?"

  "Nope," he replied in that voice that never failed to give her the shivers. He grinned slowly, his face tanned, his teeth white and even. "Missed that lesson."

  Maddie had gotten up, happily filling a plate with food. Ty took it and bent to kiss her on the cheek. Sitting down, he leaned over and gave Delia a quick hug.

  He didn't touch Zoe.

  She rolled her eyes and got up, storming over to the sink to drop in her plate.

  "Zoe, hon, you heading out?" Delia asked, surprised. "You didn't finish eating."

  And that alone was clearly so unlike her, both Delia and Maddie were staring at her wide-eyed. Great. Not only was she a jerk, she was a pig, too. She sighed. "I've got to go. I'm meeting Cliff in the barn."

  Ty didn't so much as pause in his eating. "Cliff isn't coming," he said casually, continuing to pour food into that lean body with a speed that amazed her.

  "Yes, he is. We're working on—"

  "I know what you're working on," he said, wiping his mouth with a napkin and looking at her with a smile she didn't trust. "But you're going to work on it with me instead."

  Her pulse danced. "What happened to Cliff?"

  "He's … busy."

  "You mean you made him busy."

  Ty shrugged, that annoying little knowing smile firmly in place. "You don't have a problem, do you? Working with me?"