January Dreams

by Carrigan Richards

  “No! Something worse could have happened.”

  “I think you took care of him,” I whisper and flinch as Mrs. Truitt rubs a liquid on my back.

  “What did you do, Casper?”

  “Nothing that he didn’t deserve.”

  Mrs. Truitt places a hot towel over my back and I lay my head down into my arms on the back of the chair. She sifts through my hair, checking my head.

  “Casper, go into Cora’s room and get her some clothes.”

  He obliges. And now I’m alone with Mrs. Truitt. She works methodically in silence for a little bit and speaks.

  “I know this is a very difficult situation. But if you need anyone to talk to, I can recommend a counselor. She’s a good friend.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Should I call your parents? Anyone?”

  “No. Please. I’m not…I don’t want anyone knowing.”

  “Don’t feel ashamed for one second,” she says facing me. “This was not your fault. You did nothing wrong. I’m sorry this happened to you.”

  I clench my teeth to hold back the tears and she returns to her work.

  “I want you to know how happy you’ve made my son. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him smile for a girl.”

  I’m not sure what to say to this, but lucky for me, Casper comes back in time with gray sweats and a long-sleeved shirt. When she finishes, she hugs me and tells me to come back if I need anything. Mrs. Truitt leaves the room and I stand there, holding my arms in front of my chest, inspecting the damage in the mirror. I’m a mess. A battered back. A cut on my head. A torn dress. It’s overwhelming. His mom taped bandages to my back, but I still look terrible.

  “I’m so sorry, Megan.” Casper peers at my reflection.

  “It’s not your fault. C-could I take a shower?”

  “Yeah, of course.” He walks behind me to the closet, pulls out a fresh towel and sets it beside the shower. “There’s shampoo in the shower. Let me get some other soap.”

  I nod, and then I’m alone. As I stare into the mirror, a sudden rise of panic surges through me and I see a flash of Adam slamming me against the mirror.

  “Here.” Casper’s voice startles me in his return. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. I found some soap or lotion or whatever this stuff is from Cora’s bathroom,” he says, placing several bottles on the counter.

  I raise my eyebrows and try to smile at his naïveté, but my lips won’t budge.

  “Yeah,” he says, awkwardly and turns for the door.

  The panic returns. My heart is lodged in my throat. I’m terrified that someone can easily walk in as I shower and attack me. I know I can lock the door, but what if someone breaks in through the window? “Casper.”

  “Yeah?” His eyes meet mine.

  “Um, I have sort of an odd request.”

  “What is it?”

  I bite my lip and move my hair behind my ear. “Could you…could you leave the door open and talk to me?”

  His eyebrows furrow. “Yeah.”

  “I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m—”

  “It’s okay. Really. I understand. I’ll be right outside the door.”

  “Okay.”

  I watch him take a seat on the floor outside the open bathroom door. I turn the shower on, waiting for the hot water to come through. I ease out of the dress and chuck it in the trash. I want to burn it. I shower, washing every bit of my attacker off and change into the sweats Casper lent me. After towel drying my thick hair, I walk out, and he immediately stands. I give him my towel and he tosses it on the bathroom counter.

  “Do you want to stay here tonight?” he asks.

  “Um, I don’t think that would be okay.”

  “You can sleep in Cora’s room. It’s really late.”

  Well, I can ask Casper to take me to my car and I’ll go home and somehow explain in the morning why I’m not at Cherry’s. Especially after I begged to stay the night. Or I can stay at Casper’s.

  “I’ll leave early in the morning,” I say.

  “You can stay as long as you like.”

  “Thanks.” I give a small smile and follow him to Cora’s room. It’s big like his, but a lot of the decorations have been removed since she’s away at college.

  “If you need anything, I’m next door,” he says and shuts the door.

  I pull back the blankets and slide underneath. I fall asleep rather quickly only to find myself looking out over a lake. It’s dark, but the crescent moon reflects in the black water. The stars glitter in the black sky. Casper and I have managed to live for years together. No one has come after us, and we have no idea the results of the war or anything. It’s like our private world. We don’t know if we’re going to return to his home or not. We fear leaving and being found by the Sprites.

  I hear rustling behind me and smile. “Casper, it’s so beautiful here,” I say as I turn around. My smile disappears and I freeze.

  A tall, lanky figure saunters toward me with dark eyes and a menacing smile. In the darkness I can’t make out the features of his face.

  “Who are you?” I ask.

  “You don’t belong here. You belong with us.”

  “I belong with Casper,” I say.

  “You mean nothing to me, but it’s my duty to bring you back. Dead or alive.” As he walks closer to me, I move backwards but he catches my arm and draws me against him. “I’ve always wondered what the clamor is with you.”

  I punch his chest, trying to release myself from his tight grip. “No, please!”

  “He never loved you. You’re nothing to him. He’s using you, traitor.”

  Suddenly, I feel myself slipping from him. From the lake. From the moon.

  My heart is beating crazily as I look around the moonlit room. My body shakes and I can’t calm down. I sit up in bed and cry. I was attacked tonight. My dreams consist of someone trying to kill me. I can’t take it anymore. Is someone after me? I don’t know why they would be. I don’t know anything except that I don’t want to be alone right now. I’m terrified.

  But Adam was in the dream. Has he been in them before? Are my dreams predicting the future? I’ve felt like something bad would happen, but I never imagined this.

  I grab my phone and dial Vincent’s number. I need to hear his voice. I need some comfort. He doesn’t answer and can’t help but feel disappointed. I know he’s probably in the hospital and can’t answer the phone. Or maybe he’s asleep. I wait a few minutes, but he doesn’t call back.

  Slowly pushing the blankets aside, I climb out of bed, wondering if Casper is asleep. I open the door and wait outside his room, trying to debate if I should knock or not. I stand there for a few seconds feeling awkward and scared. I bring my hand up to his door and knock softly. I don’t think he’ll hear it, asleep or not. I hold myself and let the tears fall quietly. I cover my face with my hands and suddenly I feel arms around me.

  “Megan,” he says.

  “I was attacked in my dream. You weren’t there.”

  His arms tighten around me and he takes my hand, pulling me inside his dark room. We sit on his bed until I finish crying. I feel safe with Casper and I’m not sure what that means.

  He invites me under his covers, and he climbs on the other side, on top of the covers. I lean against the headboard, but it hurts my back, so I lay on my side. He moves down to my level.

  “I’m sorry,” I say. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

  “Don’t apologize. It’s okay. You can stay.” He takes my hand and caresses it.

  We lay like that for a long time. Casper’s fingers still rub my hand, so I know he’s still awake.

  “All I kept thinking was that I have to get out of this,” I tell him, and he holds my hand tighter. “Someway. Somehow. But I couldn’t.” My chin quivers and a tear rolls over my nose and onto his pillow. “He was too strong. I’m weak. I wish I knew how to fight for myself. How to be stronger like in my dreams. I mean, even Amber can beat me up. I always thought I would
know what to do if I ever found myself in that situation. I shouldn’t have gone tonight.”

  “This wasn’t your fault, Megan. I’m sorry this happened to you.”

  “I wouldn’t have gotten out of there if it hadn’t been for you.” I look up, but I can’t see his eyes. It’s dark, but his smooth voice calms me.

  “You would have gotten out. You are strong. And no matter what, he’ll get what’s coming to him.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I have to believe in that.”

  “I’m not sure what I believe anymore. He knew my name.”

  “What?” he asks, his voice sounding alarmed.

  “I feel like I’ve dreamed of Adam before. He looked familiar. Unless my mind is playing tricks.”

  “How is this possible? Are we predicting life now?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m scared. I don’t want to have these frightening dreams anymore.”

  I feel his fingers lightly touch my cheek, then his soft, warm lips on my forehead. I exhale in relaxation, but he abruptly pulls away.

  “Sorry. I-I can’t believe I did that.”

  “It’s okay.” I smile, but I know he can’t see it. I shouldn’t have enjoyed that as much as I did. Cherry’s comment comes to mind. “I lied to you earlier because Cherry doesn’t like that I’m friends with you.”

  “Why?”

  “She thinks you’re going to hurt me.” I don’t know why I’m so honest with him. “She thinks I’m gonna cheat on Vincent.”

  “You don’t deserve that.”

  “I can’t talk to her about my dreams. She always tells me to ignore them, but I can’t. No one likes the fact that we’re friends. It’s like in our dreams. No one wants us to be together.”

  “I’m sure you’ll clear it up with her tomorrow. I’m sure Vincent hates that we’re friends.”

  “Um…he doesn’t know.”

  Casper lets out a sigh. “Megan.”

  “I know. It’s terrible, but he’s so unpredictable.”

  “You have to tell him, or it’ll be worse.”

  “I know. I don’t want to wake up feeling scared.”

  I feel him move closer to me and he’s careful not to hurt my back by placing an arm around me. I bury myself in his chest, and I’m content. This is wrong and I know I shouldn’t be here, but it feels right.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  I wake with the bright sun casting light through two giant windows and into the room. It takes a moment to remember where I am. And why. My body is sore, and it aches. The bed is empty, aside from me, who apparently took up the entire middle. I sit up and see Casper playing a video game from a chair at the end of the bed. I watch him for a second. He’s intent on the game, pressing buttons and getting frustrated, but when something goes right, he does a fist pump in the air.

  I snicker causing him to turn around and smile.

  “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

  I nod. “I don’t think I had a dream.”

  He turns back to his game. “I didn’t have one either. But we stayed up pretty late.”

  I remember lying in his bed, talking. It was unusual, but therapeutic actually. I seem to recall him kissing my forehead.

  “What are you playing?” I ask, to keep my mind from thinking about the kiss.

  He shrugs. “A football game. Wanna play?”

  I glance at the clock on the side table. The red numbers tell me I have twenty minutes to get ready for work, but the thought of work doesn’t settle well with me. “Sure,” I answer. My parents never come to the grocery store I work in, so I’m safe. I check my phone for messages and see a few from Vincent and Cherry. I text Cherry telling her I’m skipping work and that I’ll call her tonight. She asks where I am, and I’m hesitant to say, but I tell her the truth. Then I don’t hear from her.

  Vincent’s texts ask me how the party was and that he was sorry he missed my call. I want to tell him what happened, but not through texting or a phone call. I need to see him. He tells me he’ll be at the hospital, but he’ll try to visit me when I get off work.

  I spend my Sunday with Casper playing video games and texting Vincent. It’s a little weird, but it also feels like Casper and I have been friends forever or something. I’m supposed to work until six, so that’s when Casper drops me off at my car. I don’t want him to leave, and when he hugs me, it reminds me of how right it feels. As I watch him leave, I’m overcome with sadness.

  “So, it’s true.” I hear Vincent’s voice behind me.

  I freeze and curse internally. I turn around and see a cold look in his eyes. “What?” I want to rush up to him and let him hold me, but his demeanor stops me.

  “You stayed with Casper last night.”

  “Who told you?”

  “Cherry.”

  My stomach twists. Why would she tell Vincent that? Is she against me?

  “From the looks of it, she wasn’t lying. You two seemed pretty close. What’s going on?” he asks as he folds his arms.

  “Nothing.”

  “Don’t do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “Tell me there’s nothing going on when clearly there is.”

  “It’s not what you think.”

  “Of course, it isn’t.”

  He’s got it all wrong and my stomach keeps weaving into knots. “I tried calling you last night, because I needed to talk to you. But you didn’t answer.”

  “So that gives you the right to cheat on me? I can’t believe you.”

  My heart falters. Is he serious? “I didn’t—”

  “You went home with him last night. I’m pretty sure I can guess what happened.”

  I slap him. “How dare you?”

  The muscle in his jaw twitches as he moves closer, but I back up.

  “Then why’d you go, Megan?”

  “Casper is my friend.” My tears blur and my chin quivers. “Nothing more. And if you can’t handle it, then we’re done.”

  His eyes widen and I see fear set in them. “Megan, no.” He takes my hand, but I snatch it back. “I’m sorry that you feel that way, but Casper isn’t a good person. Why would you stay with him?”

  “I was attacked, and Casper saved me. I had nowhere else to go, so he let me stay in his sister’s room.” I try so hard to keep the tears back, but I can’t.

  “Wait, what? Someone attacked you?” His manner completely changes from cold and calculating to sincere concern.

  “Yes. All I thought of was trying to break free and wishing you were there. But you weren’t.”

  He steps closer to me. “Are you okay? Who attacked you? Are you hurt?” He tries to hug me, but I push him away

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Don’t do that. Tell me what happened.”

  My phone rings and when I dig it out of my purse, I see Mom’s name flash on the screen. I glance at the time. Crap. It’s past six-thirty. I answer. “Mom, I’m on my way.”

  “Where are you? It is six forty-five.” She yells so loud I recoil.

  “We got busy and I just got off.”

  “You know you’re supposed to call me.”

  She frustrates me so much. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m on my way. I’ll see you in a few.” I open my car door, hoping that Mom won’t ground me when I get home, but it doesn’t matter. Cherry hates me and so does Vincent. “I have to go home,” I tell him.

  “Megan, wait.”

  “I can’t. I’m already in trouble.”

  “Call me. Please.”

  I have no patience right now to hear his pleas and excuses. I get in and slam the door shut. I immediately lock it and feel Vincent’s eyes on me. Anger seethes inside me that I peel out of the parking lot. I have never done that before.

  I can’t believe he would actually think I slept with Casper. Especially after getting attacked. Doesn’t he understand the severity of the situation? Why doesn’t he trust me? What is so wrong with Casper that I have to lose my best friend and boyfriend? />
  I want to see Casper again. It’s like I feel better the instant I see him. When I get home, I put my stuff down on my bed, not without Ron yelling at me because I barely greeted anyone when I walked inside. I can’t win for losing.

  I join my parents and Jonathan at the table. When Mom’s in the mood, she cooks on Sunday nights, and tonight she prepared homemade lasagna and garlic bread. My favorite. I don’t want to be around anyone right now but being with my family is actually comforting. While I have my moments with my mom, there are times that I still feel like a little girl and want her to hug me and tell me that everything will be okay. I can’t tell her about the attack. She can’t know I lied to her and that I went to a party. She can’t know I wore a dress like that, and she certainly can’t know I stayed at a guy’s house last night.

  I can’t go to the police, because then my parents will find out. But Adam’s face and his words keep circling my mind. He said he knew me. How?

  “Megan?” Mom asks. Her reddish-brown hair has grayed at the roots, and wrinkles formed around her eyes more and more. She works hard but hates her job. She never takes any time off, because I guess her employer doesn’t like it, but she needs a break.

  “Hmm?”

  Mom scoops out a portion of lasagna on my plate. “How was work?”

  “Oh. It was busy.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Tired.”

  “How was church this morning?” Ron asks as if he knows I didn’t go.

  “It was good.”

  “What was the sermon about?”

  For the love. It never ends with him. I give him some baloney answer and remain quiet the rest of dinner. Afterward, I take my shower, careful not to get my back wet, and curl up in my bed with Savannah. She licks my face like she knows something’s wrong. Adam pops into my head again, but I also focus on how safe and right it felt being with Casper. It was easy, comfortable.

  My phone beeps and it’s Cherry messaging me.

  Thanks for leaving us swamped today. I hope your night with Casper was awesome.

  I sigh at her sarcasm. I don’t reply because I know I will say something I don’t mean. I lay in bed, cuddling with Savannah and listening to music. It seems to be the only thing that comforts me. Vincent calls a few times, but I don’t answer. Why is it when I want to talk to him, he never answers but now that I don’t, he calls. I don’t know why Vincent would automatically assume I slept with Casper. And why did Cherry tell him I stayed? She knows I was attacked. Doesn’t she care? I can’t stop crying. I want to leave. Run away. Forget everything and start somewhere new. Maybe Casper and I will run away in real life. I can’t keep living like this.