An Unexpected Hunger

by Rosa, C.

  She hesitated, and stopped folding to look right at me. “That he really loves you. If you only knew what he was planning for your birthday.”

  “Maybe I would understand if someone would tell me.”

  “Not a chance,” she said, smiling. “You need to ask Ricky.”

  I rolled my eyes, and threw a pair of rolled up socks at her head. She laughed, narrowly ducking my good aim.

  “I don’t know,” I huffed. “Maybe I should give up. I should just go back to my job, work my way back up. Who knows…maybe I can open up my own restaurant one day. It’s something I know my dad would have been proud of. I mean, what’s wrong with being a successful, single woman?”

  “Absolutely nothing,” Lauren said. “Except for the fact that your in love with someone who is completely dedicated to you. Why would you just let that go? Don’t you think your worth that kind of love…that you deserve it?”

  I smiled meekly, not sure how to answer. “I never thought about it like that,” I said.

  * * *

  I struggled to get into Lauren’s car so she could take me to my last doctor’s appointment. I was finally getting my cast taken off.

  I hoisted my leg into the car. “I cannot wait to get this damn thing sawed off.”

  “Me either,” Lauren said, buckling her seat belt. “I’m getting tired of doing your laundry.”

  Lauren stopped by the mailboxes, and I listened to the dinging of the door alarm as she hopped out. I stared at the clock, tapping my good foot. I was anxious to make it to the doctor, knowing that we would have to wait even longer if we were late.

  She sat back in the car, and handed me my stack. I had applied for disability since I couldn’t work, and was still waiting for my first check. The bills were starting to pile up, and my money was gradually disappearing.

  “Bill, bill, bill, “ I said, sorting through the mail. The last envelope startled me, and I held it in my hand, feeling something hard and oddly shaped inside of it. The handwritten address had my name scrawled in familiar handwriting. When I flipped the envelope over, Ricky’s return address was written at the top.

  “What is it?” Lauren asked.

  “I—I don’t know. It’s from Ricky,” I said, looking at her.

  It was the first time I had said his name out loud in weeks. I hadn’t talked to him since the night of my birthday. My mom would mention him during our weekly telephone conversations, telling me that Ricky would call her asking how I was doing.

  “Why don’t you give him a call,” mom would suggest.

  I always changed the subject as fast as I could since it was too painful to think about.

  I skimmed my finger across the seal of the envelope, tearing away at the paper. I fished inside until I felt cool, hard, metal on the skin of my fingertips. In between my thumb and pointer, I held a brass key.

  “What is that?” Lauren asked.

  I stared at it for a few minutes, turning it in my hand, trying to see if anything was written on it. “I have no idea,” I mumbled.

  “Well is there anything else in the envelope?”

  “No,” I said. “It’s empty.” I turned the envelope over and shook it a few times just to be extra sure.

  “Hm,” Lauren said. “That’s weird. What do you think it means?”

  I shrugged, and put the key back in the envelope. I folded it and tucked it into my purse. “We better get going,” I said. “Or we’re going to be late.”

  Chapter 36

  Ask yourself

  WALKING WITHOUT MY cast took some getting used to. After my doctor’s appointment, Lauren and I went out for lunch, the meaning of the key still a mystery to me.

  “When do you go back to work?” Lauren asked.

  I handed my menu to the waiter, and shot him a quick smile. “I’m not sure,” I said. “I have to call my boss and let him know my cast is off.”

  “You don’t seem too excited. Got use to being waited on hand and foot?” Lauren teased, her voice raising a few octaves.

  “No,” I laughed. “I just have this feeling that it’s not going to be the same. I’ve been out so long…They’ll probably have me chopping onions all day.”

  I swished my straw, twirling the ice in my glass. “Besides,” I continued. “I’m thinking about going back to Jersey.”

  Lauren’s eyes cut to me. “To see Ricky?” she asked.

  “I’m not sure,” I shrugged, taking a sip from my diet soda.

  Lauren looked at me like I had two heads.

  “What?” I said.

  “Are you completely dense?” she asked. “He’s obviously trying to reach out to you.”

  The waiter brought out our sandwiches, and I wasted no time putting food in my mouth. Not only was I starving, but the chewing bought me some time before I had to respond.

  I sat back in my chair, feeling the light breeze glide through my hair. It was a beautiful day to eat outside. After a week of dreary weather, the sunshine on my face, and the cast off my leg, was making it almost impossible for me to be in a bad mood. Even when Ricky was the topic of conversation.

  “Why wouldn’t he just call?” I asked.

  “Maybe he’s looking for more than just a phone call,” she said, taking a bite of her food.

  “What do you mean? You think he wants me to come home?”

  She nodded, sipping her soda.

  “You think?” I asked. “You think I should go and seem him?”

  “It depends,” Lauren said. “On how you feel.”

  “I don’t know how I feel,” I said, flopping a French fry back on my plate. “This is all too confusing.”

  Lauren smiled. “It’s not that complicated. You just gotta’ ask yourself: Can you live your life without him?”

  I stared at Lauren, hating that she could always make sense of situations I always found so complicated.

  “Can I?” I said. “I’m pretty sure I can.”

  “But do you want to?” she asked, pointing at me with a French fry.

  I snatched the fry from her fingers, and popped it in my mouth, leaving Lauren pouting over her empty hand.

  “You think you’re so smart,” I teased, squinting my eyes.

  She smiled. “One of us has to be.”

  * * *

  I placed the key on my nightstand and laid in bed, staring at the copper silhouette all night. After a while, I picked it up, and twirled it in between my fingers. It felt heavy in my hands and gave off a faint metallic smell. It was an old key, tarnished with black smudges.

  I laid down and placed the key on my forehead, hoping that it would send some telepathic message to my brain. After a few minutes of nothing, I slid it off, and placed it back on the nightstand.

  I tossed and turned all night. I hadn’t dreamt of my dad at all since he had passed away, but for some reason that night he appeared in a few of my dreams. I woke up, sweaty and tired, my cell phone blaring in the background.

  “Hi honey!”

  My mom was unnaturally cheery for calling so early. I moved the phone a few inches away from my ear.

  “Hi mom,” I moaned.

  “I have a surprise for you!”

  I didn’t respond, too tired to pretend that I was just as excited as she seemed to be.

  “Alexa?” she asked.

  “I’m here.”

  “I bought you a ticket to come home!” she squealed.

  I shot up in bed. “What? When?”

  “For next week! I figured you can come and visit before you have to return to work.”

  “Wow,” I said, trying to sound enthusiastic. “Thanks mom.” I glanced over to the night stand. The key, my dreams, my mom’s apparent mind reading…it all seemed so bizarrely connected. “You haven’t talked to Ricky lately, have you?”

  “Not since the last time you and I spoke on the phone. Why?”

  “Oh…just wondering,” I said. “Anyway, I can’t wait to see you. I could use a visit home.”

  Chapter 37

&n
bsp; Home Again

  COMING HOME THIS time felt…different. Mom picked me up from the airport and on the ride home, she kept quiet. Every once in a while she’d peered over at me, but I kept my stare straight, preferring the view out of the windshield.

  I don’t know if she did it on purpose or not, but she drove past the Mug. The traffic light at the corner turned red, and when mom stopped the car I noticed the FOR SALE sign out front. The word SOLD slashed across it in bold red letters.

  “He sold the bar?” I asked. “When?”

  “A while ago,” Mom said. “I thought he told you.”

  I shook my head. “He said he was thinking about it…I can’t believe he actually sold it.”

  Mom shrugged her shoulders and gave me an apologetic smile.

  “Does he know?” she asked.

  “Know what?” I muttered.

  “That you’re home?”

  I looked over to her. “I’m not sure.”

  When we got to the house, Nick and Mia were there to greet us.

  “Hey ma!” Nick called. “What time is dinner tonight?”

  Mom stood by the laundry room, folding a pair of his boxers.

  I smiled. “She stills does your laundry?”

  He shrugged, sinking his teeth into an apple.

  Mia laughed. “He tries to get me to do it.”

  Mom poked her head through the laundry room door. “Six o’clock.”

  “What’s going on for dinner?” I asked.

  I thought I’d be more excited for my homecoming, but all I wanted to do was curl up in bed.

  “We’re going out,” Nick said.

  I let out a loud huff. “I’m not sure I’m up for going out.”

  “Com’on!” Nick cried. “It’s the new place where Mia works.”

  Mia smiled and jutted her eyebrows up.

  “What’s the name of the place?” I asked, curious.

  “Come out with us, and you’ll find out,” Nick teased.

  I let out another sigh, and flickered my stare between Nick and Mia, before finally agreeing.

  * * *

  I laid in bed, holding my cell phone in front of me. Scrolling through the numbers, I stared at Ricky’s name, debating on whether or not to call him. There’s no way he didn’t know I was home, and I hoped that by now I would hear from him.

  Hours passed, and still nothing.

  Nick and Mia left and promised to be back to meet mom and me for dinner. I wanted so badly to ask them how Ricky was doing, and what he was up to now that the bar was sold. I chickened out at the last minute, and they left without a word about him. I retreated to my room, hoping mom didn’t notice my watering eyes.

  I missed Ricky. I missed him in such a way that the thought of living without him knocked the breath right out of me. It had been so long since I heard from him that I started to believe he had finally giving up on his pursuit.

  I flung my phone half way across the room and slumped down on the bed. Maybe coming home was a mistake. I would get through the next few days, and when I got back to California I would get on with my life.

  * * *

  We all piled into Nick’s car, Mom in the front seat and Mia in the back with me. I smoothed down the hem of my dress and pushed my hair behind my ears. I changed outfits twice before finally deciding on what to wear. Actually, my first two outfits were rejected by my mother, who said I looked like I just rolled out of bed. I couldn’t understand what the big deal was, but decided it was easier just to appease her.

  Everyone was unusually quiet, and it was a little unsettling.

  “So where is this place?” I asked.

  A few seconds passed before Nick finally spoke up. “It’s a little bit of a drive,” he said. “It’s out on Decatur Street.”

  “Decatur?” I said. “Where on Decatur?”

  Nick shrugged his shoulders, but said nothing.

  I looked out the window. “Well…what’s the name of the restaurant?”

  “I’m not sure,” Nick said.

  I looked at Mia who was doing a good job of avoiding me.

  “What is going on?” I finally asked, annoyed.

  “What do you mean?” Nick said, looking at me through the rear view mirror. A sly grin spread across his face, even though he was doing his best to hide it.

  “Mia?” I asked. She shrugged her shoulders without bothering to look at me.

  I grabbed the seat in front of me. “Mom?” I said, hoping she would be the one to break.

  She looked back at me, stone faced, and shook her head. “Honey…I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why aren’t you wearing your seat belt?”

  I sulked, and flopped back in the seat.

  Nick made the turn onto Decatur, and seeing the road sign sent the hairs on my arm standing on end. It had been five years since I’d driven down this road, and not by accident. I’ve avoided this area of town entirely, which wasn’t hard to do since it was so far out of the way.

  I switched my stare from out of the window to the back of the headrest. I clenched my eyes tight, not wanting to catch a glimpse of it by mistake.

  My heartbeat raged in my chest, and my palms became sweaty. The further down the road we got, the slower Nick drove, until I felt the car come to a complete stop.

  I peered from under one eye, trying to gauge where we were without actually having to look. I caught a glimpse of Nick looking back at me.

  “What are we doing here?” I asked.

  “There’s someone waiting for you inside,” he said.

  I scanned the faces of everyone in the car, trying to determine whether or not this was some kind of practical joke.

  “You’re kidding me, right?” I said.

  “Seriously,” he said.

  “I-I can’t go in there,” I stuttered.

  Mom turned around in her seat, and I sat back, plastering my back to the cloth interior.

  “Yes, you can….and you will,” she said. She got out of the car and opened my door. I hesitated as she stood on the curb, waiting for me to move.

  I stood, shoulder to shoulder with mom, finally allowing my eyes to fall on the building.

  “Go on, now,” mom said, giving me a small push.

  I looked back at her before making my way towards the door. The outside of dad’s old restaurant looked the same, save for the FOR SALE sign and the boarded up windows. When I pulled open the door, a soft light emanated from the dining room.

  Being inside the restaurant again was overwhelming. I took a few minutes to catch my breath.

  “Hello?” I called out. I inched closer inside, peering left and right. The place was dark and only dimly lit by candles. Shadows flickered against the wall. When I saw Ricky sitting at one of the tables, I jumped back a few inches, nearly dropping my purse.

  “Ricky,” I said, feeling my thumping heart under my hand.

  He smiled and walked towards me. My eyes locked on him, soaking in how good he looked in his narrow cut grey suit with a white button down shirt.

  He stopped in front of me with only inches between us.

  “What’s going on?” I asked. “What are you doing here?”

  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a brass key that looked exactly like the one sitting in my purse.

  “I think you have something that looks like this,” he said. He held it by a small metal key ring.

  I fished inside my purse and dug the key out. I held it up to show him. “I’ve been carrying it around with me for weeks,” I said.

  Ricky grabbed my left hand, and my body relaxed with his touch.

  “I’m glad you came to see me,” he said, fiddling with my fingers.

  “More like coerced,” I teased. “It’s been years since I’ve been here.” I looked around. “Still looks the same though.”

  Ricky smirked. “Well, either way, I’m happy you’re here.”

  “Why is that?” I asked.

  “Because I’ve been waiting to give you your birthday present.�
�� He hesitated before continuing, grabbing my hand firmer in his own. He slipped the metal king ring down my ring finger, letting the heavy brass key dangle against my palm.

  “For you,” he said. “So that you can follow the dream you were meant to follow.”

  My heart was beating so fast I thought it would explode out of my chest. I swallowed the lump in my throat, staring at the key in my hand.

  “Is this?” I couldn’t finish the sentence.

  “It came up for sale a few months ago so I bought it. It was your father’s and now it’s yours. Happy birthday, Alexa.”

  I was stunned. I was more than stunned. I was flabbergasted. Ricky had just given me the most unexpected and totally unbelievable gift.

  “Holy shit…Ricky…it’s too much,” I said, out of breath. “It’s amazing and incredible…but I can’t ask you do to this for me.”

  I wanted it…I wanted it so bad. It was my dream to continue on my father’s legacy; to cook in the same kitchen he had for all those years. A dream that I had given up on after he died, and the restaurant was lost forever.

  He laughed and closed my hand around the key. “It’s yours,” he continued. “I love you, Alexa. I want you to know that it’s always been you…always.” He raised my hand to his lips, and kissed it. “I want to be committed to you, and you only.”

  He dropped to one knee, and I felt my knees buckle. My breath caught in my throat as Ricky fished into his pocket yet again, this time pulling out a small, black, velvet box.

  “Alexa,” he said. Our eyes locked, and I let myself fall under his spell. “I never want to go another day without you. I’ve loved you forever and will continue to love you for always.” He opened the black box and pulled out a beautiful ring, white gold with a large round solitaire diamond.

  I gasped as he held the ring at the edge of my fingertip.

  “Will you marry me?”

  Tears burned in my eyes and my throat closed. Being with Ricky was like riding a crazy roller coaster; scary as shit, but fun as hell. Life without him was bland, unseasoned, and tasteless. I wanted him. I needed him. I craved him.

  “Yes,” I said, wiping away the tears. “I love you.”

  His smile grew twice in size, and he slipped the ring on my finger, nestling it just above the key ring. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he swept me off the ground, my feet dangling as he swayed me back and forth.