Blaze of Glory

by M. Garzon

  “What else is new?” he was saying now.

  “Dec’s mad at me,” I sighed.

  Jaden’s carefree laughter surprised me. “What did you do this time?”

  I looked up in annoyance, about to protest his insulting assumption, but when I found his face my breath caught in my throat and I couldn’t speak. His smile was so playful, his light-flecked eyes so warm and teasing. With the sun shining on his honey-brown hair, his whole being seemed to glow with warmth. After a long beat, I felt a wide answering smile spread across my face, all indignation forgotten.

  When I was rested we tried again. After about an hour I was making contact with the ball quite frequently, even sometimes at the trot and canter. Jaden was gentle but persistent as a coach, he was free with his praise but made me correct my mistakes, too.

  “You really are a quick study, aren’t you,” he said as we headed back to the barn. I shrugged. I was a bit disturbed by the joy I’d been feeling from his praise; it was a clear indication I wasn’t squashing my emotions down enough. I made up my mind to try harder.

  When we got back to the barn Stephanie was grooming Gracie, her Belgian Warmblood. They were well-matched; Stephanie was tall, her long brown hair only a shade lighter than her mare’s liver chestnut coat.

  “Your ribs are still hurting you,” she remarked as I was untacking Schweppes. She didn’t phrase it as a question, and I looked at her inquiringly.

  “Sometimes. How did you know?”

  She smiled. “It’s my job. You’re welcome to come and see me, you know. I can probably help with the pain. Are you getting headaches, too?”

  “Okay, now you’re just freaking me out,” I said. I was still getting headaches, but few people knew about it.

  “Here.” She handed me her card. “Make an appointment, and we’ll get you all fixed up for the show season.”

  Julia had decreed that a shopping trip in Toronto was called for; we’d already snuck in some shopping locally — and my summer wardrobe was looking significantly better — but she wasn’t satisfied. And since I needed a dress for Stacey’s upcoming party, Dec had agreed to let me go, eventually.

  “Why can’t you go into Paris or Burlington?” he had asked suspiciously, naming two closer towns.

  “I want to get something nice,” I replied innocently. “And I need Julia’s help for that.” Dec understood my limited interest in fashion; I’d owned the same two dresses for years.

  “Here,” he capitulated finally, handing me some money, “go ahead, then.”

  Teri came too, and we found the perfect dress. Julia also insisted on trying half the cosmetics counter on me. I didn’t see the point of most of the products but on her advice, I ended up bringing quite a few home. I felt conflicted about it, as if trying to make myself attractive went counter to my promise to Seth. When I confided my worries to Teri and Julia they dismissed them, reiterating that the makeover was all about me, and I used their arguments to quell the whispers of doubt. Not for the first time, I wished I’d inherited the same genes that Seth had from our Swedish mother so that I could be tall and fair and beautiful, too. It seemed to me that I wouldn’t need to go to nearly as much trouble to be attractive if only Nature had been a little more accommodating.

  * * *

  I saw Stephanie that week, and true to her word, she did wonders for my injuries. Physically, I was feeling better than I had in months. Mentally, I was also recovering my equilibrium, and catching up in school. My emotional state, however, was a mess, thanks to the confusion and guilt I was feeling over Jaden.

  It was mid-May, and the pace of work at the barn had picked up significantly. I was teaching more and faced the challenge of scheduling my weekend lessons so they wouldn’t interfere with polo practices. Jaden was spending increasing amounts of time at our place, and despite the uneasy feelings he created in me, I liked having him around. Life was different when he was there. We ate better, for one thing, as Seth happily pointed out. Dec barbecued a lot during the summer, and even the standard of our barbecues was elevated by the addition of things like marinated vegetable brochettes, something that Seth, Dec and I would never have done if left to our own devices. Another improvement was in Dec’s mood. He was happy to be seeing more of Jaden. And the amount of heavy work I did decreased significantly when he was nearby; I would pick up a haybale or a jump standard only to find it lifted out of my hands, usually accompanied by his sigh of frustration.

  May also brought a new pony for me to ride. Emma, my beginner student, had been riding with dedication for almost a year, and her parents had succumbed to her pleas. Soon after I’d put the word out, Karen called to say she had found the perfect large pony. Cameo came off the trailer looking like a fat, grey furball, but underneath it all, she had beautiful conformation and a divine personality. She’d been a young and promising show pony when she was sold to a rich family; the daughter had ridden her a few times before losing interest, and Cameo had spent the next two years living in a field. Emma’s parents, the Tremblays, wanted me to train and show Cameo this year so that hopefully, she and Emma would be ready to compete together the following year. So, despite not having my own horse to show, I was kept busy.

  * * *

  I had learned enough polo by now to ride in my first practice match, or at least, in one chukker or period of it, since I only had one horse. I was pretty excited about it when Jaden and I discussed it the day before; we were in the barn, getting our equipment ready.

  “I’ll get you a regulation helmet and kneepads,” he said, “but you might want to wear a body protector, too, in case you fall off.”

  “That’s not an issue. I don’t come off,” I told him confidently.

  “That’s a bit cocky, don’t you think?” He was frowning.

  “It’s not cockiness if it’s true,” I retorted. I crossed my arms, frowning back. Seth muttered something that sounded like ‘here we go again’ and wandered off.

  Jaden gave me a stern look. “You’re going to have to change that attitude on the polo field — if you’re not on guard against falls you’ll get injured. And bumping is perfectly allowable, though no one will do that to you at our club.” His expression made it clear they’d better not.

  I pursed my lips. “How about we try right now? Let’s mount up, and feel free to try and get me off.”

  “Be serious, Téa,” he rolled his eyes at me. “I’ve got almost a foot on you in height and I’m close to twice your weight. I’d flatten you.”

  “Not unless you took my horse down first,” I said with assurance.

  He narrowed his eyes. “That’s just the point, Téa. Your horse could go down, it happens.”

  “Fine,” I muttered. “I’ll wear a body protector. But I won’t need it.”

  I shaved off Schweppes’ mane the day before our practice game, all except for a tuft at the base, near his withers. Jaden had been telling me to do it for weeks, but I’d been putting it off, and he finally dug out the clippers and said he’d do it himself if I didn’t.

  “But his hair’s so pretty,” I whined. “Can’t I just braid it instead?”

  “Sorry but no,” he insisted. “It’s a safety issue, you can’t be getting things caught in his mane during a match.”

  Schweppes’ neck looked very bare during our ride to the club. Jaden rode Piba and led Kermit alongside her, and along the way, he reminded me of the basic rules and talked about strategy. I remembered when he’d first started explaining the game, a couple of weeks before.

  “A game is usually four chukkers,” he had said.

  “Each seven minutes long,” I added.

  “Let me guess, you did some research?” he said. “Okay, tell me what you know.”

  I told him what I had read about the players and their positions.

  “Out of the four positions, you’d normally play number three, right?” I guessed. “Because you’re the playmaker, the strongest player.”

  I watched the smile grow on his face as I we
nt on to describe the basic rules. Since then he had taught me a bit more, but today would be the first time I would have to remember any of it under pressure.

  At the club, we dismounted and Jaden introduced me to Jennalyn, his long-time groom. Jennalyn was... well, hot. There really wasn’t any other way to describe her. Of average height, but with the kind of luscious, curvy figure that I could dream of but would never have. She was stylish, too, naturally, as though the multi-toned brown hair and stunning yellow-and-grey eyes weren’t enough. Despite that, though, I liked her right away, because she was also incredibly nice. I also knew that Jaden thought highly of her — and he had high expectations.

  I was getting to know many of the faces at the club, and Jaden gave me some background on the people we met. As we neared the main barn a man with somewhat long, wavy black hair came out. I remembered Jaden pointing him out; his name was Mateo, he was from Argentina and he was the club’s other hired professional. At the sight of us, he stopped dead and said something to Jaden in Spanish. He smiled at the end, but it wasn’t a pleasant expression. Though Jaden’s answer sounded relaxed, when I glanced at him his jaw was tight and his shoulders stiff.

  Mateo’s groom, a busty blonde, rode up and handed him his horse. I looked at Jaden inquiringly; he shook his head, but the scornful look Mateo gave me reinforced my impression that he’d been talking about me.

  “Jennalyn?” I turned to her.

  “Don’t mind him, Téa,” she said soothingly, “there’s no love lost between him and Jaden.”

  “But what did he say?”

  She hesitated, glancing over at Jaden, who was getting on Kermit.

  “He told Jaden that he should leave his little dolls at home where they belong, not bring them onto the polo field.”

  I leveled a glare at Mateo, grabbed the remaining handful of Schweppes’ mane and vaulted into the saddle without touching the stirrup. He turned his horse away with a last supercilious look.

  “That’s my girl,” Jaden encouraged as he rode up alongside me. “Show him what you’re made of.”

  My girl. My heart swelled irrationally at his words; I was suddenly and passionately in love with the phrase. It’s just an expression, I reminded myself ferociously. It means nothing. But the words echoed endlessly through my head, filling me with a fierce, mournful longing. We rode to the field side by side, but I had no awareness of my surroundings. Until the chukker started, that is.

  Trying to play on a team was very different from practicing alone with Jaden. There was so much going on, and everything moved so fast. Schweppes was overwhelmed too, he wasn’t used to being bumped and crowded. However, my teammates were all very supportive, especially Jaden’s friend Dan, whose two kids were about my age. On the opposing team, I recognized Mateo, a tall man called Lucas, and Davis, a player that I knew Jaden didn’t like. Jaden was one of the umpires. My teammates passed me the ball several times, but almost every time Mateo was there, bumping into Schweppes and riding me off the ball. I gritted my teeth; this was getting personal. There was a lot of yelling in Spanish between Jaden and Mateo. I got the impression that Jaden was trying to assign penalties for the bumping, but as he had warned me, it wasn’t against the rules.

  A polo field is enormous, about the size of nine American football fields, and the play was moving rapidly from one end to the other. At one point Schweppes and I trailed behind, away from the pack. I spotted Mateo galloping our way — and the ball on the grass between us. Without thinking, I flattened myself onto Schweppes’ neck, urging him into a gallop. Mateo was bearing down on us, bucketing along at full speed, but I refused to deviate.

  “Hold steady, baby,” I whispered to Schweppes. He proved his courage. Even though Mateo’s horse was bigger than him and had already bumped him several times, he didn’t waver. With a yell of frustration, Mateo swerved and I hit the ball. The whistle blew immediately, of course; it was a foul. I had suspected as much when I went after the ball. I could hear Mateo ranting in Spanish as Jaden rode up to me.

  “Didn’t you hear me shouting at you?” he asked.

  “No,” I said, not meeting his eyes.

  “It’s just as well,” he sighed. I looked up to find him grinning. “It’s also just as well that you don’t understand Spanish, or you’d be adding a lot to your vocabulary of curses right now.”

  The chukker ended and I was about to head back to the stables, but to my surprise, Jaden suggested that I ride Kermit in the next one.

  “You’ll learn a lot more by riding an experienced horse and following his lead,” he said. It was true; I often told my students the same thing, so I accepted gratefully if a little nervously. Kermit was Jaden’s number-one horse, and Jaden was a world-class player. I didn’t want to screw up.

  “Don’t even try to hit the ball,” Jaden instructed once I was mounted. “Just take note of where Kermit goes and how he positions you. Oh, and watch the goalposts, he’s hit them a few times and he’ll swerve very abruptly to avoid them.”

  From the instant the ball was thrown in, everything was a blur. Kermit was very fast, and he certainly knew what he was doing — I was always in the thick of things. Fortunately, I was able to stay balanced and follow his sudden movements because I wasn’t trying to hit the ball. The whistle blew for a foul, and the instant play resumed Kermit took off galloping for our opponent’s goal. As I neared it I saw the ball. It was lying a few feet away from the goalpost, and we were far ahead of anyone else. I swung Kermit around in an arc, my mallet raised. He was going at a nice controlled gallop; this was going to be an easy shot. I leaned out of the saddle, started my swing, and the next thing I knew the ground was rushing up to meet me. By the time I looked up Kermit was galloping down the field, keeping pace with Mateo, who now had the ball.

  I got to my feet and dusted myself off, and straightened to see Jaden cantering up to me. I had to admire Piba’s schooling as she dropped from a canter to a walk in one fluid stride, then halted next to me. Jaden reached down; to his credit, he was only wearing a small smile.

  “Not a word,” I warned him.

  He withdrew his hand.

  “Would you rather walk, then?” he asked angelically.

  I sighed, handed him my mallet, and held up my left hand. We grasped each other’s wrists. There was no perceptible signal, but our timing was perfect — he yanked as I sprang, and I flew easily onto Piba’s back behind him.

  “You don’t weigh anything at all, no wonder you came off so easily,” he commented.

  I groaned. “I thought you weren’t going to say anything.”

  He pulled Piba to a halt. “You’re still free to walk.”

  “Fine,” I muttered. I stayed put.

  Piba resumed moving.

  “Will you listen to me next time?” His tone was benign.

  “Yes,” I replied humbly.

  * * *

  The next day was Sunday, and I went to help groom at another match, this one in Alliston. At the polo grounds, I saw Caley walking past while I tacked up Piba.

  “Hey, Caley!” I waved to her and she wandered over.

  “Hey kid, how’s it going?” She seemed a bit subdued, not her usual hyper self at all.

  “Great. It’s so good to see you again, I can’t wait to watch you play,” I said enthusiastically, and I meant it. It was inspiring to see good female players.

  “Cool. How did you like the party?”

  I didn’t get a chance to answer because suddenly, Jaden appeared.

  “Is Piba ready?” he snapped. I looked around in surprise — he wasn’t usually this impatient. He didn’t acknowledge Caley, and she kept her eyes down, her face turned away from him... an angry suspicion flared in my head.

  “Jaden, tell me you didn’t...” He shot me an icy look and I quailed.

  “Caley,” I pleaded, “What’s going on? Did Jaden-”

  “That’s between you two,” she interrupted. “See ya around, Téa.” The look she gave me was somewhat cold and it sadden
ed me. I really liked Caley, and I’d hoped to count her as a friend.

  I whirled around and glared at Jaden, but he held up a hand, his face implacable.

  “Not now. I’ve got a game to play.”

  “Fine,” I snapped, turning back to Piba, “But you are so telling me afterward.”

  A hand grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. He leaned his face close to mine; his eyes were burning with anger.

  “Don’t forget who’s in the wrong here, Téa. You were the one buying the drugs, not me — I don’t have to justify anything to you.”

  He released me and stalked off. I was floored by his outburst. I felt tears well up and turned around quickly, struggling to keep them contained. I hadn’t known that he was harboring that level of ill-feeling toward me; the discovery was surprisingly painful.

  When he returned five minutes later I handed him the reins without looking at him. I felt his hand, warm and calloused, on my cheek. He didn’t say anything, and neither did I, but the ache in my chest eased.

  Jaden was in a better mood on the drive home. His team had won, naturally. I got the impression that he was barely trying on the field. I was looking forward to watching him in the year’s first big tournament at the end of May, where he would perform against players closer to his own caliber.

  “Jaden... about Caley,” I began hesitantly. I was nervous about bringing it up but felt I had to. It wasn’t right for me to be damaging their friendship this way. He glanced over at me; I noticed his hands tighten on the steering wheel.

  “What about her?” His tone wasn’t encouraging.

  “Please don’t stay angry with her. She was trying to do us a favor... and she’s been your friend for a long time. My bad decisions shouldn’t be coming between you.”

  “She endangered you, Téa,” he said vehemently. “I’m not sure I can count her as a friend anymore after that.”

  “She didn’t endanger me. I’m responsible for my own actions. Caley was great, she was looking out for us all night.”

  “She wasn’t there when some strange boy had his hands all over you,” he growled.

  I glanced at him, startled, and tried hard to squash the little tendrils of hope that were unfurling inside me. Jaden almost sounded jealous — something that I should not be happy about. Though I was. I took a deep breath and pushed the thought away.